by Croix, J. H.
***
Susie woke the following morning, temporarily disoriented. She was on the couch with a blanket tugged to her chin. When she rolled over and saw Tess asleep in the chair nearby and Hannah crashed on the floor nestled among some pillows, she remembered Jared was injured and awaiting the weather to clear to be flown home. She wished her first slumber party in years hadn’t been prompted by her friends’ worry for her.
She sat up and ran a hand through her curls. She looked out the windows to see rain falling in a steady drizzle though the wind had died down. Heavy fog lay over the bay, making the mountains across invisible. Her stomach churned with worry for Jared. In this fog, he’d have to keep waiting.
There was a sharp knock at her door, and Emma stepped inside quickly. Her dark brown hair was damp. She held a small cup holder with four coffees from Misty Mountain Café. The scent of fresh baked goods wafted through the door with her. Susie stood, the blanket falling to the couch, and walked over to take the coffees from Emma.
“Good morning,” Emma said with a soft smile. “Hannah told me she and Tess were staying here last night, so I figured y’all could use some breakfast. I brought spinach and cheese savories from Misty Mountain.”
In short order, Hannah and Tess were up. They sat clustered in the living room. Emma nibbled on a savory and passed on the latest update from Trey, namely that he hoped to get clearance to fly out early this afternoon.
“Has he heard from Luke or Nathan?” Susie asked. “We tried calling a few times last night, but didn’t get an answer. I figured the weather was interfering with reception.”
Emma shook her head. “Same thing here with the satellite number, but Trey got through by radio to the park ranger. They reported it was clearing over there and looked good for a landing by early afternoon.”
“Did they have any information on how Jared was doing?” Susie asked immediately.
“Not much, other than he was stable,” Emma replied softly.
Susie leaned back with a sigh, staring out the window and willing the fog to dissipate more quickly.
Emma eyed her carefully. “I thought you were mad at Jared and he wasn’t worth your time?” she asked bluntly.
Susie flushed, but didn’t shy away. “I was mad at him. But it doesn’t mean I don’t care.” She paused and tried to marshal her thoughts, or more accurately, her feelings. “I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel.”
“You sure about that?’ Emma asked.
“No,” Susie replied, a little too sharply. “I didn’t mean to snap. I was mad at Jared because he obviously doesn’t know what he wants. I can’t stand to admit this, but the truth is he matters way too much to me. I can’t be stupid and put myself out there when he doesn’t even know what he wants. Then something like this happens…and I’m so worried, I don’t know what to do.”
She felt all three of her friends’ eyes on her and felt too exposed. Emma nodded slowly and took a sip of coffee before replying. “Not that you’re asking for my opinion, but maybe you should give Jared the benefit of the doubt. Just because he isn’t sure what he wants doesn’t mean he isn’t going to figure it out. You’ve been pretty cagey about where you stand too. It’s obvious to all of us that Jared loves you. Trey told me he even talked to Jared about it the other day when he flew them out.”
Susie’s heart leapt at Emma’s words. “What did Trey say?”
“Just that he talked to Jared about you. He thinks Jared’s in love with you, but he’s been alone for so long, it’s kind of freaking him out. The same could be said for you,” Emma said.
Susie finally registered Emma’s point that she’d been cagey about her feelings too. “You mean it looks like I’ve been as confused as Jared?”
Tess and Hannah burst out laughing together. “Are you kidding?” Hannah exclaimed. While Tess’s emphatic “Yes!” joined the chorus.
Emma smiled wryly and nodded. “Pretty much looks like that from the outside.”
Susie sat there, feeling foolish and abashed, a flush heating her face. Here she’d been trying to be who she thought she was supposed to be—the strong one who wasn’t vulnerable, the one who wouldn’t let Jared play her along—when it was obvious to everyone but her, she was getting in her own way. Her romantic side, the side she’d been frantically trying to shush ever since her desire for Jared had overwhelmed her defenses, was clamoring to be heard. You want this, so stop getting in your own way. Don’t hide how you feel. You got angry with him before you made sure he knew how you really felt.
Susie swallowed and took a breath. She thought back to the last month or so. Inside, it was obvious to her how she felt. She was in deep and scrambling to keep her wits about her. But…she’d never told Jared what she was feeling, not explicitly. She’d expected it was obvious. She’d been mortified how fast she’d fallen and how little control she had around him.
She looked at her friends and sighed. “I guess so...” she set her coffee down with a sigh and rolled her head around, easing the tension in her neck. “I feel so ridiculous. I didn’t realize how it looked on the outside.”
“It doesn’t matter how it looks to everyone else. I only mentioned it because you were upset with Jared,” Emma said softly. “Whatever you do, remember Jared’s a decent guy and no matter what, he isn’t trying to hurt you.”
Susie’s heart raced and her stomach fluttered at the mere thought that Jared might love her. She had to see him. “Can you call Trey and see if he has an update?” she asked Emma urgently.
Emma grinned. “Uh, Susie, I talked to Trey this morning before I left to come here, maybe thirty minutes ago. He promised me he’d call me once he had official clearance to fly.”
Susie sighed and rolled her eyes. “Okay, okay.” She commenced to wait with her friends. The fog finally started to lift late in the morning.
Chapter 21
Jared hobbled toward the dock where Trey’s plane was waiting. Ben and Nathan were on either side of him, holding most of his weight. His ankle felt better than he’d expected, but Ben was adamant he keep his weight off of it. His low back was another matter—deep, throbbing pain surrounded the area where the bear had swiped him so casually. He’d slept in fits and starts, Susie occupying his dreams and waking thoughts. He desperately wanted to talk to her, so he could explain he’d just needed some time to accept the fact that he was in love with her.
Facing the reality that he’d managed to avoid a potentially fatal situation had wiped out his confusion about how much Susie meant to him. Through the long night, alone and in pain, he kept thinking about how much time he’d wasted worrying about how he felt. He knew exactly how he felt. He wanted to wake up beside her every day and lay down beside her every night. He wanted her to know he was always, always thinking about her and would always be there for her. And this second…he wanted to be beside her, not because he wanted her to comfort him, but because her presence was elemental to his heart. Before he could get to any of that, he had to find a way to repair the damage he’d done by being too damn stupid to face his feelings. And before that, he had to climb in a tiny plane for what would likely be a bumpy ride to Diamond Creek.
Trey waved from the floatplane dock. Luke was going to stay with Matt, Craig and Reid for another day of fishing. Nathan insisted on returning to Diamond Creek with Jared to take him to the hospital, while Ben wanted to accompany them to provide an update to the doctors once they got there. Jared tried to talk Ben out of it, but Ben claimed he’d already had an amazing fishing trip and a few days in Diamond Creek would offer other wonderful fishing opportunities.
Jared took a long look around while Luke and Matt loaded up gear. The rain and fog had dissipated in the heat of the sun. The mountains rose up in the distance. The water rolled by, the sound soothing. An eagle called nearby. Jared could see the viewing platform in the distance, brown bears clustered around the famed Brooks Falls.
He breathed through his pain while Ben and Nathan carefully
walked him down the dock to Trey’s plane. An uncomfortable ride later, Trey guided the plane in for a smooth landing in Diamond Creek in the lake where he kept his plane docked. Jared tried to call Susie once they were within cell range, but got no answer.
Nathan and Ben functioned as human crutches for the walk to Nathan’s truck. Nathan immediately headed toward the hospital.
“It’s not an emergency guys. If it was an emergency, the rangers would have called a helicopter in for me,” Jared said, hedging to buy some time in the hopes he could reach Susie soon.
Nathan shook his head firmly.
“What are you two, my keepers?”
Nathan glanced over at him. “Yeah, we are. Ben said your back needs to be looked at as soon as possible. There’s no reason to wait,” he said firmly.
Jared tried to look over his shoulder at Ben who rode in the back, but he couldn’t quite turn around without sharp pain stabbing in his low back. Though his injuries were technically scratches, the term felt insufficient when the largest land-based predator on earth was responsible for them.
“Seriously, Ben? I can’t have a little time to make some calls.”
Ben chuckled. “Make your calls on the way over. Every minute you wait increases the chance of infection.”
Jared sighed and tugged his phone out again. Once again, he got Susie’s voice mail. He resorted to a text.
Hey, just got in. Sure you heard about what happened. Nathan taking me to hospital. REALLY want to talk to you. Not sure how long I’ll be there. Please give me a chance to explain later. Miss you.
He slipped his phone back in his pocket. Moments later, they pulled up at the hospital. Nathan and Ben took their stations on either side and walked him in.
Jared tried to ignore the flushed feeling he had, worried he might have a fever. Once Nathan spoke to the nurse in the emergency room, the wheels of the hospital started turning rapidly. Jared was whisked away. The last thing he remembered was wondering when he would see Susie before fading into black.
***
Jared woke to the sound of low voices. He was on his stomach. Disoriented, it took him several moments to recall he was at the hospital in Diamond Creek.
“…concerned about infection…”
“I know…”
Jared wanted to ask a question, but couldn’t. He tumbled back into the oblivion of modern pain medicine. He had no sense of time when he woke later. His room was dark. Someone must have helped turn him over because he couldn’t imagine he did it himself. Even the slightest movement caused pain. His entire back throbbed. Ben had told him the scratches would need to be debrided due to the dirt and debris from the wounds. He warned that while the debriding was necessary, Jared would likely be in much more pain after it was over. “Imagine someone taking a small cut, digging around in there and scouring it with disinfectant. Hurts like hell afterward,” Ben had said flatly.
His eyes gradually adjusted to the darkness. He made out the shape of someone sleeping in a chair by the window, the telltale outline of curls giving the person away as Susie. He smiled in the dark, relaxing with the knowledge she was there.
***
Susie opened her eyes to bright sun shining on her face through the window. She immediately turned to see if Jared was awake, cringing when her neck resisted the quick motion. He was sound asleep. She’d fallen asleep in what had to be the least comfortable chair to sleep in ever. Her neck had twisted into an odd angle during the few hours of fitful sleep. She quietly stood and stretched. She’d arrived at the hospital yesterday shortly after Jared had been wheeled into surgery. If it weren’t for Ben, the ever-patient doctor whose Alaskan fishing adventure had become something else entirely, she might have made a scene.
Roughly two hours into waiting, Susie was pacing, demanding an explanation for what was taking so long. Nathan had returned to the waiting area with Ben, who was disarmingly handsome on top of being as nice as could be. With his brown hair, blue eyes, and incredibly fit body, Susie figured he was candy for most women. She could care less. All she wanted from him were answers about Jared.
“Why the hell is it taking so long?” Susie demanded, throwing her hands up and stomping away from the nurses’ station.
Nathan had walked into the room with Ben right at that moment. Ben joined her as she strode back and forth in the room. “They usually don’t offer much information because it’s more frustrating if they give you a timeframe, and they turn out to be wrong,” Ben commented evenly.
“Well, they could at least say that!” She was furious with the vague answers. They made her afraid something was really wrong, something they weren’t telling her. She needed to know Jared was okay and needed to know now.
Ben nodded and continued strolling alongside her. “They have to debride the gouges in his back. It’s tedious and time consuming. It’s more important that they take the time to get the injuries clean than it is to rush.”
The knots in her stomach twisted tighter. “Gouges?”
“That’s the best way to describe them,” Ben said with a small shrug. His blue eyes were warm and concerned. “He’ll be okay, but it may be awhile. When he’s out of surgery, they’ll keep him here for a few days to monitor for infection. His ankle is more straightforward. It was a simple fracture, so I was able to set it easily. They’ll put a supporting cast on it and that’ll be it.”
Susie was so tied up inside, she thought she might explode. She’d been trying so hard to hold it together, but she didn’t think she could settle until she could see and talk to Jared. It wasn’t sounding like that would happen soon enough. Her heart was in her throat, and anxiety coiled through her body. She needed to make sure Jared knew how she felt and that he wasn’t alone in this. Though Ben’s explanations helped ease her worry, it barely took the edge off. The word infection conjured a host of horrible scenarios in her mind. She tried to keep her mind on the moment. Ben’s calming presence relieved some of her tension. “I’m glad you were over there,” she said with a small smile.
“Me too. He’d have been okay without me, but I was glad to help. We had an amazing day of fishing too,” he replied with a quick grin.
Susie rescheduled all of her appointments for work and camped out at the hospital. Jared’s text had come while she was in a meeting with a client yesterday. By the time she had seen his message, he was already in surgery. Hannah, Tess and Emma joined her at different points throughout the long afternoon and evening. At present, Nathan was lounging in the waiting room with Tess. Susie finally stopped pacing and flung herself in a chair beside Tess. Ben quietly sat down beside Nathan.
Tess offered a small smile, her ginger eyes warm. “Ben knows what he’s talking about. Jared will be fine.”
Susie leaned her head back against the wall with a sigh. Weariness washed through her. The tight feeling that had taken up residence in her chest and throat the moment she heard Jared had been injured had yet to ease. She needed to know he’d be okay. Only then would she be able to relax.
“I know…” She paused, her breath catching. “I want him to be fine now.” A tear rolled down her cheek. She swiped it away.
Tess snagged a box of tissues from a side table and silently handed them over. Susie wiped her eyes and blew her nose, tears continuing to fall.
“This sucks,” she said flatly.
Tess nodded. “Pretty much. Don’t suppose it would help if I said something about how it could be worse?” she asked wryly.
“No. It would be annoying. I know it could be worse. I know he’ll be okay. I just…wish I hadn’t flown off the handle and told him off. Now he’s in there, and I’m scared. I feel like a fool, and I still don’t know how he feels. I just don’t want him to think I don’t care.”
A sob burst forth, and Susie buried her face in her hands. Tess stroked her back and remained quiet. Tess was good at knowing when words were entirely unnecessary.
By the time the doctor came to the waiting room to report Jare
d was out of surgery, Jared had been in surgery over six hours. Susie barely heard the details of the doctor’s report. The words “he’s stable” beat through her heart like a drum. Ben had been on target with what he’d told her. The doctor explained they’d keep Jared for a minimum of three days to get him past the period when he was at higher risk to develop an infection. Whether the doctor wanted to let her or not, she quickly caved to Susie’s persistent demand to stay in Jared’s room for the night.
After stretching, Susie walked carefully to the bed and placed her hand on Jared’s forehead. It was slightly warm, but she couldn’t tell if he was feverish. She slipped on her clogs and scurried to the nurses’ station, dragging a nurse back with her to check his fever.
“He’s warm,” Susie whispered fervently when the nurse gave her a questioning look when they arrived in the room.
The nurse in question put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes. She was an older woman who exuded practicality. She was slender with bright blue eyes and long gray hair braided and coiled on the top of her head. “Young lady, he is sleeping. That’s why he’s warm.”
“Please, please just check his temperature,” Susie pleaded. “Don’t you have one of those things you can run over his forehead, so we don’t have to wake him up?”
The nurse’s eyes softened, and she shook her head. “God save me from a woman in love,” she said with a sigh as she tugged the very thermometer Susie had described out of her pocket. She quickly checked his temperature and turned away. Jared didn’t budge. “It’s slightly elevated…”
Susie cut her off. “Shouldn’t you do something then?”
The nurse came over and tucked her hand in Susie’s elbow, firmly guiding her out of the room. “I’m Helena, by the way,” she said. When Susie didn’t reply, she shook her head and continued. “As I said, his temperature is slightly elevated, but that’s normal given his situation. Fever happens for a reason. We already have him on antibiotics, but it’s best if we use as low of a dose as possible. A fever tells us his body is trying to do its job.”