by Valia Lind
"Well, I can tell you why."
Derek has been standing completely still in front of the fireplace for the last three minutes. I gave him a rundown of what the vision guy told me, and he went stoic. He carried me to the couch while I was unconscious, for which I am thankful because my body feels like it's been run over by a truck.
It's different than when I use my magic. There's a bit of exhaustion present too, but it's more exhilarating. Like muscles that are sore from working out. It feels like building stamina.
This? It feels like I've been drained of everything that I am. Magic and body.
I’m tired. More tired than I've been in ages.
And Derek is clearly... freaking out? I can't really tell by his lack of expression. I also don't think fae freak out. They just burn some villages down or something.
"They shouldn't have been able to reach you here. Not like that.” He finally speaks, jerking me out of my random thoughts.
"How would you predict that though?" I ask, pushing back against the cushions so I'm sitting straighter. "It's not like the Ancients are that predictable."
"You are right. Their magic is stronger than we planned."
He's reverted back to his more proper talk. I'm finding he does that when he's stressed. I suppose even magical creatures have that particular emotion. I know what I need to say next. I also know he's not going to like it. But I truly don't see a way around it.
"This means I have no choice but to go to Faery with you."
There's a moment of stillness and then Derek is beside me so fast I didn't see him move. His eyes are full of concern as he stares into mine. For one split second, I have an undeniable urge to pull him into my arms. Instead, I curl my hands into fists on my lap and try to keep my head clear.
"You cannot be serious."
"I am one hundred percent serious. We don't have a choice."
"There is always a choice."
"Yes, between me saving myself or a whole lot of people."
"I understand how the loss of your parents could—”
"It's not just my parents. They'll destroy the whole town if they don't get me."
"It is one town verses the rest of the world." His calm words push my exhaustion straight to anger.
"Don't pull your fae crap on me. My town is full of innocent people. I can't see them burn because I was a coward. I can't have more innocent deaths on my hands." He knows exactly who I mean. I see the realization in his eyes.
"Avery, Julian—”
"No." I don't need Derek's pity, or whatever the coinciding fae emotion may be. I'm thinking logically. I have to stay objective. "It's decided."
Derek stands again, this time to pace the length of the couch. I've never seen him this unbalanced before. It's as if he knows more than he's saying. Which wouldn't surprise me. I'm constantly aware that he's keeping secrets from me. It's the way it is for them. Especially since they can't lie.
"You have spent all this time hiding from them, and you are giving all of that away."
"I understand the risks," I say, pushing myself to the edge of the couch. I'm still not strong enough to stand, but I need Derek to understand this. "You have told me yourself, I can be taught to use the book. If I can learn how to wield this power, I can save them."
"You really think the fae will allow you to use the power for yourself?"
"You really need to stop underestimating me," I snap, but I can see this is difficult for him. I'm not sure which part of it is driving him, but he's looking out for me. And he underlines that fact with his next words.
"And what if this is a trick?"
Of course I thought of that. That was the first scenario that came to my mind. But like I mentioned, there isn't a choice here. We can pretend there is, but we both know what needs to be done. I can't learn this magic on my own.
"Then," I reply, catching his arm as he paces in front of me. It stops his progress. "We will deal with that if it comes up. But I can't keep sitting on the sidelines, Derek. There's too much at stake."
"And what about you?" He drops to his knees in front of me, peering into my eyes, my hand on his arm. "You are going to throw yourself into the lion’s den without a second thought."
I watch him for a long minute, memorizing every angle of his face. In the past week and a half, he has become the closest thing I have to a friend. True, it may be that he doesn't see me as anything but a job or a way to get out from under the thumb of his heritage. Even so, the concern on his face, it's real. He takes one of my hands in his, as if he needs the contact as much as I do. My gaze drops to where our skin touches, and I smile a sad smile before I reply.
"If that's what it takes to save my people, I will walk into the lion's den with my head held high."
Chapter 13
A big part of me wants to demand Derek open up a portal and take me to Faery immediately. But the other logical part knows I need a plan first. Which is what I've been working on for the past hour. Derek fetched me a notebook and a pen, and I've been scribbling down different ideas.
I haven't written down anything that can be used against me. Like the location of the book for example. But it helps me see my thoughts written in front of me. I use a mind map to keep it all visual. It helps me organize my ideas better. It's how I've studied for exams my whole life. The normalcy of the habit grounds me, giving me the space I need to come up with a plan of action.
"Hungry?"
Derek comes back into the living room, a plate of mac and cheese in his hands. We've been cooking very basic meals since we've been here since neither one of us is proficient. Mac and cheese is the only thing Derek can cook well. He's added grilled chicken to it, and the smell makes my stomach rumble.
"I'll take that as a yes." He smiles, handing over the plate. I nod my head in thanks, as has become our custom. I still haven't uttered those two words at him, keeping that last barrier up. Maybe it's dumb at this point, considering I've trusted him with so much. But spending all this time cooped up together has brought us to a whole new level. No longer just two strangers on parallel journeys. We're now walking the same road.
Yet, I still can't bring myself to thank him. Maybe it's for the best.
"What did you figure out?" Derek asks after settling onto the seat opposite of me with his own plate of food. He digs in right away, as if he hasn't had food all day. It's such a typical boy thing to do, it makes me forget for a second that he's anything but. Shaking my head, I focus on his question.
"I think I need to contact my parents. I know," I raise my hand to ward off his protests, "that it's dangerous. Which is why we should drive into town where I can call them. I need to know they're okay. I have questions only they can answer."
I'm thinking specifically of my dad, who has more knowledge in his pinky than most of the people I met combined. It's why I wanted to become a Watcher so badly. He taught me how to love knowledge before I even understood what that meant.
"If we contact them, we'll have to be ready to go basically right away. They'll be on our heels."
"The Ancients?"
"And those the Faery sent to find you when I didn't return."
That makes me pause for a moment. I chew my food first before I ask the next question.
"Are you going to get in trouble for helping me?"
"Most likely."
"Why do it then?"
"I have my reasons."
I wait for him to continue, but he's done. There are so many other things I can say here, but what's the use? I know where the two of us stand, and I know what needs to be done next. My body feels more rested, and there's no use waiting for tomorrow.
"We should go as soon as we eat."
"Are you sure?"
"You really need to stop asking me that. If I say it, I mean it. It's always been like that."
"I've noticed."
We fall silent again as we stare at each other across the coffee table. It's as if we're both waiting for the other person to say somethi
ng else, but neither one of us is brave enough. The desire to thank him for everything he's done almost overwhelms me. I squelch it down. I've already decided that's one aspect of this I'm not giving up. But the desire keeps growing, as if something is pushing me toward it.
Breaking the eye contact, I take another bite of my food, the desire diminishing. A thought hits me like a ton of bricks. Derek is doing it. He's trying to make me thank him, but for what? For a bargain? So I owe him? My mind spins with possibilities as we eat in silence. He doesn't know he can't glamour me, unless he's tried and failed. But this feels different than a glamour.
And what would he do with it if he received my thanks? But even as I ask the question, I get the answer. He could use my debt as a way to keep me out of Faery. I glance up at him briefly and find his gaze has turned to the fireplace. He looks far away, as if he too is working out a problem.
But my defenses are back up. I already told myself I can't break down every barrier. Now, I need to build a few back up. Derek has always had an agenda, one he wasn't quick to share with me. It seems that the thought of going back to Faery is just as disconcerting to him as it is me. So he's pulling out some of his tricks. I'll have to watch him more closely.
"Are you ready to go?" I ask, breaking the silence. Derek turns to look at me as I stand. For a second, I think he's going to mention what he's been trying to do. But then, it's like he thinks better of it.
"Let's go."
We drive down from our mountain retreat until we find a gas station with a payphone. I didn't think those existed anymore, but maybe in smaller towns they're more common. Derek has been silent the whole way down. I didn't feel like saying anything either. Mostly because I'm still a little peeved at him for trying to manipulate me. Not that I'm surprised. But I'm definitely annoyed.
Thankfully, the payphone is functioning. I grab a handful of coins from inside before dialing my parents. Derek stands by the gas pump, giving me a sense of privacy. Although, I have a feeling he can hear better than he lets on.
"Hello?" My mother's voice comes over the line, and I breathe a huge sigh of relief.
"Mom?"
"Oh, my goodness, Avery, baby, are you okay?" Her voice brings tears to my eyes.
"I'm okay, Mommy. Safe, for now."
"We've been so worried."
"Avery?" My dad's voice comes over the phone next. The tears I've been holding back spill down my cheeks. "Why are you calling?"
Always the protective father. I can hear the panic in his voice at the fact that I dialed their number.
"The jig is up, Daddy. The Ancients know I have the book, and they want it. I'm going to Faery."
There's a collective hush on the other line and then I hear a sharp sound. A hiccup. I know it's my mother crying.
"Baby, you can't. You can't go there."
"I can't keep hiding either." My own tears stain my shirt, and I wipe at my cheeks roughly. "The fae can teach me how to use it, right Dad?"
"Avery, it's too dangerous for you to go there."
"And it's too dangerous for you if I stay," I snap. I have only raised my voice at my parents a few times in my life. Now, it only shows them how determined I am. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't stay hidden. I'm sorry I'm putting you through this. But I need you to trust me."
"Of course we trust you, baby girl," Dad says. Mom continues to cry in the background. My parents are the strongest people I know, and here, with few words, I have broken them. "But the fae are more dangerous and cunning than you can ever imagine. I didn't prepare you well enough for them, and for that I am sorry. You should know they will use tricks you have never heard of before, they will push you beyond your limits, and they will break you to a point where you won't know which way is up or down."
I know he's trying to scare me. It's working. But a part of me also thinks that he's speaking from personal experience. Which I don't understand. Maybe in his dealings with the Council he has seen things, but it doesn't actually matter. Nothing will sway me.
"Daddy, tell me I can do this. I can learn from them how to use my power, and I can use it to stop the Ancients."
There's a pause as my dad realizes exactly what I'm asking. I didn't call them for permission. I called them for reassurance. He can try and protect me from them, but he won't lie to me if I ask him what I need to know directly.
"Daniel, no," I hear my mom whisper before my dad speaks up again.
"Avery, listen carefully. They are the only ones who truly understand the kind of power you possess. They can and will teach you how to wield it. But you have to be careful. You have to protect yourself at all times. Glamour won't work on you, and that is a dangerous power all on its own. Once they figure that out, they'll use other ways to keep your spirit broken. Don't let them get into your head. Play your part well. You are a smart girl, and you are resourceful. No matter what you hear or what you learn, know where you come from. You are our daughter. Know the kind of strength you carry within yourself. It cannot be taken from you. No matter what they say or do."
I know he's trying to tell me something beyond the words he's actually speaking, so I try to hold on to each one, for further examination later. But he's given me what I asked for. Going to Faery is truly my only choice.
"I love you both so much," I say, my voice thick with emotion. I have no idea if I'll ever be able to speak to them again. But I rather that be my fate than to have them killed. "You are the best parents a girl could ever ask for. Thank you for raising me to be who I am."
My mother sobs, the sound forever imprinted in my mind. I hear Dad take a sharp breath, and I know he's crying too.
"We are so proud of you, baby girl."
The phone beeps then, and the connection ends. I fumble for more coins, but it's too late. They're gone, and I'm left holding the receiver as my heart breaks. Tears blur my vision. The next moment, the receiver is being taken out of my hand as Derek pulls me into his arms. I cling to him with everything I'm worth, as if he can take away the heartache I'm feeling. He feels solid and sure and unlike anything else in this world that keeps spinning around me. I may not know my own strength, but I know my parents have raised me to do my best. I won't fail them.
I will save them. Even if it means sacrificing myself.
I will save them.
I will save them.
I will save them.
Chapter 14
It takes me a good ten minutes to get a grip on my emotions. I didn't expect to lose it like that, but I have been carrying around a lot of pent up feelings for over a month now. It was bound to happen sometime.
"Better?" Derek asks when I finally make myself untangle my arms from around him and step back. His gaze is so full of concern, it almost sends me into another fit. The expression is so raw and more real than I've ever seen on his face before. I must've really freaked him out losing it like that.
"Better."
I take another step back, putting more distance between us. My dad's words echo in my mind about the ways of fae and how cunning they are. Except when I look at Derek, I don't see any of that. I just see a guy who has been there for me this past week. Apparently, my mind doesn't care to remember who he was before all this started.
"We should get going. It'll be best for us to put some distance between here and where we cross, as soon as possible."
I nod, following Derek back to the rental car. I feel tired again, but this time, it's an emotional exhaustion. What comes next will be the greatest test of my character. I need to be ready. But for this one moment, I let myself be tired.
We get into the car and start driving south. It didn't fully occur to me that we wouldn't be going back to the cabin. Somehow, it feels worse knowing that momentary safe haven is no longer attainable. I'm not sure why it makes me sad, but maybe it's because I'm already high on emotions.
When the car starts to spin, I'm not prepared for it.
"Derek!"
"Hold on!"
Derek's quick reflexes do
what I wouldn't be able to. He turns the wheel into the spin, keeping a tight grip on it as we move. My hands slam against the ceiling. I hold them there, to keep myself steady in my seat.
We're at a stretch of the freeway with no one around. I'm thankful for that small favor. The car rights itself as suddenly as it began spinning. In that same moment, three men appear in the middle of the road. Derek slams down on the gas, but the car does the opposite. We come to an abrupt stop, about ten feet between us and the men. There's nothing particularly striking about them, but when they move, they move in complete unison. They lift their left arms over their heads before they push them forward, palms first.
"Get out!" Derek yells, but I'm already moving. Pushing the car door open, I jump, tumbling onto the side of the freeway. I roll a few times into a bush. The car makes a screeching noise as it gets pushed backward and into the same ditch I'm currently lying in. Except a dozen yards back.
My attention snaps to were Derek landed. I see he's already getting to his feet. I've never seen him use his magic fully before, but I can see it building up in the space around him. It's as if his whole aura is becoming alight with it.
The three men continue to walk toward him silently, each step the exact same. They raise their arms again, pushing another wave of magic. This time, it’s directed at Derek. The panic I feel threatens to overwhelm me. Scrambling on all fours, I try to reach the freeway before they can do any damage.
Suddenly, someone appears behind me, wrapping their arms around my middle and yanking me backward. I yell, breaking Derek's concentration. The magic hits him square in the chest. He flies back, slamming into the asphalt before rolling a few times. I struggle against my attacker, but he seems so much bigger than me.
Thinking back to what I was taught, I go slack, sending the attacker off balance. That moment of hesitation is all I need. I yank my body forward, reaching for the ground. In the same motion, I reach backward between my legs. I grab my attacker's ankle and yank it forward. He slams down onto his back at the last moment, grabbing me and dragging me down with him. I hold onto his foot, wrapping my whole body around it and pulling it toward me as I kick out with my own legs. There's a scream as my foot connects with his face and my arms yank on his leg. I roll out of the way as he jumps up, this time a bit slower.