“Whoa,” he said. “Are you that surprised to see me?”
I slithered away, around Derreck as he put the lamp back on the table. He turned and I froze again. This time when he stepped towards me, I didn’t move. He took my right hand, his fingers moving along my hand.
“It’s been so long,” he said.
“Derreck...”
“That’s my name,” he said. “I told you I’d be back. I promised, right?”
I nodded. Yeah, Derreck did promise that.
He looks at me, turning the headlights off on his car. The pitch black is only met by the silhouettes of the baseball field fence. It’s scary. And it’s scary looking at Derreck.
“We can make this work,” he says. “I just have to go away for a little while.”
“It’s not jail?” I ask.
“Do you think I’d lie to you? Fuck, Maggie, what’s wrong with you?”
He takes my left hand and swings it at my face. I slap myself, not hard, but the implications are there. The potential of what Derreck could do if I bother him the right way... or the wrong way depending on how you look at it.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’m just nervous.”
“About what?”
“We’re out of high school now...”
“That’s fucking great. Finally. What a hellhole.”
“I think I’ll miss it,” I say.
Derreck slides his hand to my wrist and squeezes. “Trust me, you won’t. You understand that?”
I wince and say, “It’ll leave a mark...”
Derreck told me a while ago that if he ever starts to go too far - or as he calls it, ‘crossing the line’ - to remind him that he could leave a visible mark. That would be bad. That’s what he tells me all the time. Seeing a mark would take our love away.
Derreck opens his hand and touches my face. “Promise me you won’t miss it. Right now. Promise me.”
I nod. “I promise, Derreck. I won’t miss high school.”
“You’re going off to college,” he says. “Going to let a bunch of seniors fuck you?”
“No,” I say. “Never.”
“Fuck off,” he growls and turns. “I have to go to Florida for a little while, that’s all. My father is making me go. To help him with his construction company. I have to pay off some fines and my mother doesn’t want me around.”
“I’ll be at school, nowhere else,” I say.
“Yeah, sure. I bet you’re fucked within the first week.”
“That would be cheating,” I say. “I’d never cheat on you, Derreck. We promised.”
“That’s right,” Derreck says. “That’s why we’re here right now... we can never break promises, right?”
“Never,” I whisper.
“Good. Because I’m breaking up with you tonight. Right now. But you have to make a promise. Understand?”
“We’re breaking up?” I ask.
Derreck looks at me and nods. “I’m a fucking man, Maggie, okay? I’m going to Florida... the beaches, the women... I won’t be able to help myself.”
My heart twists and breaks. “You’re going to sleep with other girls?”
“No, I’m going to fuck them. That’s about it. But I won’t break my promise. We’re broken up now, so it’s not cheating.”
I’m in shock. My body hurts... from everything...
“But I’ll be back,” Derreck says. “Okay? I promise you, Maggie, I’ll be back.”
I nod.
“And I need you to promise me...” He slips a hand to my neck. His thumb touches my throat and the rest of his fingers dig into the back of my neck. “... promise me you’ll be waiting for me. When I come back, we pick up where we left off.”
My lips quiver. I can’t make this promise, I really can’t...
“Maggie, promise me...”
I hesitate again.
Derreck’s grip tightens. I’m ready to break down and cry. There’s darkness everywhere... inside the car, outside at night, and deep within my heart.
“You have to fucking promise me,” Derreck growls. “Right now. Fucking do it...”
I nod. I’m shaking, but I nod.
“Say it to me,” he commands. “Tell me you promise.”
“I promise,” I say. “I promise, Derreck.”
“You promise you’ll be waiting for me?”
“I promise.”
“You promise we’ll be together?”
“I promise.”
He takes his hand away.
I swear... I hope it’s the last time he ever touches me...
Derreck’s hand squeezes mine. “Are you okay?”
I looked at him, wanting to scream how I really felt, but I couldn’t. The fear rushed back like nothing I could have ever imagined in my life.
“Oh, you’re just so surprised and happy, aren’t you?”
I stared. It was all I had.
“Well, listen, Maggie, baby, I’m starving. I flew in from Florida and grabbed a car to get here.”
“Grabbed a car?” I asked.
“I know a guy,” Derreck said.
That’s what he always used to say.
I know a guy.
And that generally meant something illegal.
“You were in Florida for such a long time,” I said.
“Of course I was,” Derreck said. “I told you I’d be gone for a while. But I promised to come back and I did.”
Derreck touched my face. The first time in years. My blood ran cold. All the passion and life Tatum had given me was ripped away.
I looked to the table, to my cell phone, still wondering if I could find a way out of this mess.
Derreck moved my face to force me to look at him.
“You kept your promise, right?”
I swallowed.
“Are you fucking married?”
“No,” I said.
His hand on my face tightened.
“Engaged?”
I shook my head.
A flicker of a smile came to his face. “Even if you’re seeing someone, that doesn’t fucking matter. Promises are promises.”
That wasn’t good enough for me. I intended to crush Derreck’s promise the second he took me home... well, a block from my home. He pushed me from his car and laughed, telling me to walk home and cry it all out before my mother saw me. I heard the next day he went to a graduation party and slept with someone. And I was supposed to keep some kind of promise to him?
“Wait a second,” Derreck said. “That look on your face. Something’s hiding...”
Derreck’s hand touched my stomach. He pushed and squeezed, making me feel uncomfortable.
“Are you knocked up?”
“What?” I asked, my voice going up.
“You want to talk to me like that again?” Derreck asked.
And there I was, right back to where I was in high school. Scared. Alone. Stuck with Derreck.
“Sorry,” I whispered.
“Now, I’ll ask again. Are you fucking knocked up?”
“No,” I said. “I’m not pregnant.”
Derreck nodded. He looked down and started to lift my shirt. My hands pulled at my shirt, stopping him, but I knew the consequences. I let Derreck lift my shirt up, exposing my stomach.
“We’ll have to get you a gym membership,” Derreck said. “I don’t remember you looking like that...”
My face burned and my heart started to fall to pieces, again.
“You keep looking at your phone,” Derreck said. “Let’s have a look...”
I opened my mouth and whimpered.
Shit.
He’d read my texts. All those texts with Tatum.
He lifted the phone and tossed it hand to hand.
“So, tell me,” Derreck said. “Who’s the lucky asshole about to lose his girlfriend?”
“Drummer from a local band,” I said.
“A drummer? Some dumb fuck that couldn’t learn a real instrument, huh?”
I mentally compa
red Derreck to Tatum. Tatum towered over Derreck. Had more muscles, more brains, more heart. Tatum could destroy Derreck, which didn’t scare me that much. It was what Derreck would want to do back to Tatum.
“Does he fuck you?” Derreck asked.
“Well...”
“Of course he does. I told you the second you walked onto campus, those legs would be open. And yet I still keep my promises, don’t I? To my little whore...”
Every nerve pinched.
That’s where it all started.
Derreck calling me a whore. Telling me that the only way I’d ever get attention was with my body. Everything else meant nothing.
“That’s done now,” Derreck said. “The rockstar can find someone else to fuck on the weekends, okay?”
“Derreck... it’s...”
“It’s what? What is it?”
His eyes were beady and he looked ready to strike. The years in Florida had bronzed his skin but more so, the years working for his father’s construction company had chiseled his arms. Maybe back in high school I would have found the new muscles sexy but I didn’t now. They were terrifying, reminders of the strength Derreck now possessed.
“It’s nothing,” I finally said, admitting defeat.
“Of course it’s nothing,” Derreck said, “I’m here now. Like I promised. Now, why don’t we eat and talk?”
Derreck moved and I followed. He dropped my cell phone on the table and his finger began to scroll through the messages between Tatum and I. I saw his face make all kinds of reactions. Anger, hurt, then some satisfaction.
“Going to fuck him on a seat?” Derreck asked. “Kind of slutty, don’t you think?”
I swallowed and didn’t respond. Sometimes it was easier to chance punishment from not responding than to respond knowing there’d be punishment.
“Looks like the rockstar is at a show. Does his band play here a lot?”
I nodded. “They’re very popular on campus and around the towns.”
“Great. We’ll have to check them out next time they’re playing.”
How could I deal with this? How could I talk to Tatum? How could I see the band? How...
“Maggie,” Derreck whispered, looking right at me. “I promise.”
~13~
Derreck thankfully never liked to cuddle. He preferred his side of the bed, rolling tight in the covers and succumbing to sleep. That left me sitting up, looking at the dark outline of Derreck under the covers.
The clock read three in the morning. I pictured Tatum, sleeping in his car, enjoying life. Playing such an important show, wanting DownCrash become something bigger than a college band. And here I was, going to get in his way if I asked for his help. My heart ached like it never had before.
Nobody understood what slept next to me, the only person with some sense of understanding was Tatum. I touched my cell phone, thinking about what to do. I pressed a button and the screen didn’t turn on. Confused, I picked up the phone and started pressing all the buttons. Nothing. No response. Not even from the power button. I didn’t remember the battery being low. I flipped the phone over, opened the back, and my body cringed. Back in high school, Derreck used to steal my battery. He regulated my cell phone, telling me who I could talk to and when I could talk. If I broke his rules - or his promises, as he always put it - I would lose the battery, or worse.
The battery to my phone was on the nightstand. He must have done it as some kind of warning, memory, or perhaps a way to just invoke fear in me. Whatever it was, it worked. I put the battery in my phone and turned it on. Two messages came through, both from Tatum.
This was going to crush me. I knew it.
What a show... Strange not having everyone know you but some people actually did. Hope your night is going good too.
Ten minutes later, Tatum sent another one.
Text me when you can. I’ll be sleeping in a van... living the dream. :)
Living the dream.
I sighed.
I looked to my right, holding my phone up to cast light on Derreck’s body.
Tatum was living the dream and I was living the nightmare.
Just knowing Tatum was okay and thinking about me relaxed me enough to finally fall asleep.
I woke to the feeling of Derreck crawling over me. I did my best to fake sleep, hoping he didn’t want to do anything. It made me sick to imagine Derreck trying to touch me like Tatum did. He could never do what Tatum did. And there would be no way I could fake my way into enjoying it. My body didn’t care about promises, it cared about pleasure.
“Good morning,” Derreck whispered.
His breath stunk rotten and stale. He kissed my forehead and climbed out of bed. There were times, not as few and far between as I would have thought, when Derreck could be normal, even romantic. He proved it a couple minutes later when I smelled coffee and heard the sound of my small kitchen coming alive as a fresh breakfast began to cook.
Derreck cooked and served both of us, holding his coffee mug up, smiling.
“Let’s toast each other,” he said. “To being together again.”
“Did you take the battery out of my phone?” I asked. My mouth instantly snapped shut, regretting how jumpy I sounded.
Derreck didn’t like confrontation and he hated paranoia.
Maybe the morning had some kind of effect on him, but Derreck remained calm. I half expected him to throw his hot coffee at me, but instead he answered my question.
“You know what? I did take the battery out. I heard the phone beeping and it pissed me off. So I took the battery out. No need for it, right? You were with me. I’d kill for you.”
Derreck smiled.
Some people said stuff like that - I’d kill for you - to sound romantic in love. But with Derreck, he meant it. He was dangerous, violent, and while I never wanted to see someone die, it made me wonder if he ever did kill someone, would that get him taken away forever?
He sipped his coffee and then said, “Maggie, look at me.”
I looked at him.
“Don’t question me like that, okay? I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to take care of you. Rockstar hour is over.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
“Did you talk to drummer boy yet?”
“No.”
“You better. Let him know what’s going on here.”
“They’re driving back today,” I said. “I’ll talk to him later.”
“Not here,” Derreck said. “I have no need to see some tattooed freak trying to fuck my girlfriend.”
“He doesn’t have tattoos,” I said.
Derreck’s lip snarled. “Good to fucking know, Maggie. Want to know about the women I met in Florida on the beaches... with their tight stomachs and big tits? You want me to compare them to you?”
I shivered and hugged myself, shaking my head.
Why couldn’t I get away from this? Why couldn’t I run? I was older now... back in high school I was a kid, a confused kid. I watched my mother remarry and I felt neglected. Derreck scooped me up. But that was then.
I needed Tatum here. I needed him in town. I needed to see him, touch him. I needed to finish falling in love with him.
But as I looked at Derreck, I really wondered what was going to happen.
Scarlett had moved out, leaving the apartment to myself. She wasn’t even in town, I couldn’t call her.
“That’s what was I wondering too,” Derreck said. He leaned to his left and peered down the hall. “This is a two bedroom place, right?”
I nodded. It bothered me that Derreck could basically read my mind.
“Two bedrooms for one person,” he said. “Roommate?”
“No,” I said. “She just moved out actually.”
“Well, look at that.”
“She moved in with her boyfriend. He’s the lead singer of DownCrash, the band...”
“Oh, I get it,” Derreck said. “You were trying to be like your roommate. Didn’t anyone ever tell you that drummers are the dumbest
ones in the band? Poor girl, you, you’re so lucky to have me here.”
I wasn’t exactly sure I considered myself lucky.
My cell phone beeped with a text message and as I turned, Derreck put a hand out to get my phone.
Rules were rules.
Promises were promises.
Just like that, I was back in high school, taking orders from Derreck. The difference now was that I didn’t have the comfort of my house to run to.
Derreck looked at my phone, leaning against the counter, with a cocky grin on his face.
“Drummer boy texted you,” he said. He waved the phone but it was too far away to read. “He wants to know what your plans are today. What should I say, Maggie? Should I tell him you’re with me? That we’re fucking each other like rabbits?”
I shook my head. “Please let me talk to him.”
“You’re begging me for things now? See? This is why it’s better when I’m around. I just tell you what to do. You don’t need to think or worry.”
Derreck looked down and started to type.
I stood from the table, knowing the move was an act of defiance. I couldn’t handle Derreck saying something bad to Tatum. I couldn’t crush Tatum through a text message.
“All done,” Derreck said.
He dropped the phone and walked to me. His hands touched my hips and he kissed my cheek. His nasty breath had the undertones of coffee.
“I wanted to tell him,” I whispered.
“Shut up, Maggie,” Derreck said. “Fuck, you think I’m some asshole, don’t you?”
I didn’t reply.
“I told him to come here at three, okay? You can meet him in the parking lot and talk. I won’t go out, I promise. Handle things the way you need to. But end it. It’s done. Time we all keep our promises, right?”
I shut my eyes and nodded.
I had five hours until I’d have to break Tatum’s beautiful, sexy heart.
~14~
I figured, at some point, Derreck would leave because he was never the type to sit for too long. He always had to be on the move, getting into trouble, keeping some promises, or finding indulgences that he didn’t need. But to my shock he remained in the apartment all day, lingering, walking around, talking to me as though we hadn’t spent a day apart for years. He told me he had to go to Florida to get some stuff and that we’d go together. We were going to drive to Florida, make a big road trip out of it, and then drive back. Sometimes he seemed normal, sometimes he seemed like the same old Derreck. When he took a shower, he asked for my cell phone. Asking instead of demanding was a slight change, but the overall purpose still hurt me. He didn’t trust me with the phone and he didn’t trust me with my own keys because when I went into my bedroom, my keys were missing.
Torn to Pieces (The Boys of DownCrash #2) (new adult contemporary romance / rockstar romance) Page 10