And just like that my world, no my universe has new possibility and meaning. You’d think I would have locked on to the ‘I love you’ like a fish to water but it’s the conviction in his eyes and the reverent kisses against my trembling lips as he calls me perfect that seals the deal and makes my heart start beating again.
With tears threatening I do the one thing every feminist on the planet will orgasm over.
“Will you marry me Devon Baxter? Please. I love you so very much and I want nothing more than to be yours.”
“Yes.”
He kisses me before the syllable is finished, turning me to straddle him, his gentle hands pulling my sex as close to his erection as the weight and size of my belly will allow, not nearly close enough but I don’t care as he continues to suck at my mouth and pushes himself into the weeping well between my legs.
“You’re mine imp. Mine.” He growls before clamping a hand over my ass and surging to his feet.
We make love in his office, an awkward but passionate showing of everything we feel.
“I love you imp.” He murmurs minutes later, his hot breath sawing into my neck as I melt into the sofa and close my eyes on a smile.
Everything is so perfect I feel weightless and free. Nothing can hurt me now. Can it?
Chapter Twenty Four
Dev
Everything is utter perfection and for the first time in a long time I don’t want to delve too deeply and test every inch of my feelings. I just want to enjoy the closeness and ease with which I greet every day.
Unfortunately, as is always the case, there is something that is going to shatter some of the peace, something I have to tell my girl that will shift the euphoria we feel now.
I hate it, hate that just when I’ve found that little slice of heaven it’s going to be up to me to spoil the joy I see in her eyes.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah man. I went through his office two days ago when they went out and I found something. My guy at the hospital wouldn’t tell me anything but that they are still doing extensive tests and that I should ask my dad what’s going on. He said it so…he was in the oncology department. You know what that means.”
“Did you talk to him or your mother?” I ask, closing my eyes on a sigh.
Please let him say it was just a normal test for someone of Brand’s age, anything to quell the threat looming on the horizon. But I know it’s not possible. Grey sounds too gruff and down for the answer to be any good.
“Yeah. He went nuts on me at first for snooping and then he just kinda let it all out and…its bad man. He’s got some type of bone cancer. I went a little fuzzy after he confirmed it but…”
“But he’s sick.” I finish, closing my eyes on a groan. “Imp and I just got things settled. We’ve set a date for the wedding.”
“I’m so sorry man.”
“Me too. I’ll talk to imp tonight but Christ, she’s only got a month left on her due date and-”
“She doesn’t need this stress right now man. Let it wait till she has the baby and dad has a clear shot at what treatments they want to do. It can wait.”
My heart eases. A little. And I accept my next words for what they are. Cowardice.
“I will. I won’t say anything until we’re certain and until she’s delivered.”
The calls ends on a sombre note and I lean back wanting nothing more than to go find her and snuggle up in our bed, just to hold her and reassure myself that all in her world is still alright and as it should be.
Maybe I am a coward and for a certainty this silence will come back to bite me in the arse, but for now I will take this burden and carry it alone because there is nothing in this world I will not do for the woman I love.
Even if it means saving her from herself.
***
Becky
Something is totally off with Dev. It’s been three days now that I’ve noticed how jumpy he is every time the phone rings or when the door opens.
I’ve asked, cajoled and flat out demanded an answer but all I get from the lunkhead is a smile and assurance that nothing is wrong and that a deal he’s been working on is not going well.
Deal my ass. The guy could talk an Eskimo into buying ice so I know he’s talking crap.
“You okay sweetie?”
I shuffle around in my seat and poke my straw at the ice in my glass, shrugging at Lila across the table. We’re having lunch in a swanky little out of the way Bistro a block away from her salon, something she’s determined to drag me to on a weekly basis.
I’m not feeling it today but I hadn’t had the heart to let her down so now here I sit, wondering how to get rid of her so I can go home and just veg until Devon gets back.
“Fine. Bored. Fat. Tired. And Devon had some meeting to go to so…”
“That’s a good thing Beck. You guys can’t spend every minute of the day together or you’ll go crazy. Couples need space you know. Look at me and Grey. He does his thing and I do mine and at the end of the day when he comes home I’m ready to rip his clothes off.”
“That’s gross. I suppose you’re right, it’s just that he’s been preoccupied and short of waterboarding him he won’t tell me what’s bothering him.”
“Grey too. He sat in his office all night last night and when I finally got sick of it at two in the morning I found him just sitting there, staring into space.” She grumbles, her eyes strained.
We talk for a few more minutes, our exchanges desultory and half assed before I beg off the salon thing and we both rise to leave. I’m a whale right now and can’t make it ten steps without a break for my poor feet so by the time we get outside into the sunshine I have to stop and cling to a laughing Lila to catch my breath.
I can’t tell you what makes me turn my head to the left and look over at the opposite side walk. Hell, all I can say is that my spine tingled and my receptors sat straight up. But I do, I turn and squint at the hotel across the way, taking in the cars and people and…
Devon, my Devon, holding another woman. Close, like full body contact close and looking down at her affectionately before leaning down and planting a kiss on her cheek.
It all clicks into place for me, mostly because I recognise the woman he’s with and the way she’s clinging to him, just like in those pics I’d seen on the internet after Ryan’s little TMI moment.
The distraction, his silence, the way he hasn’t fully met my eyes.
He’s having an affair with his ex, that piece of garbage slag who’d refused to accept his family. That beautiful, gorgeous pinup princess who doesn’t look like an ad for the Wildlife channel.
“Er Beck.”
“I see him.” I choke out; digging my fingers into Lila’s arm so forcefully she lets off a squeak and tries to pull away. “I see him.”
“Oh God Beck, I’m so sorry. This is-”
“Don’t tell anyone. Promise me.” I demand when my veins finally start pumping blood again-only because the pair stopped hugging long enough to walk into the hotel!-and I can straighten and pull myself together.
I feel numb, closed off, empty in the space of a minute and as the coldness creeps in I savour the detachment that comes with it. Maybe it’s silly, but I feel steadier than I have in days.
This is…so fucked up and yet I feel as if I’ve arrived at a place I’ve been anticipating for so long I know the taste, sound and feel of it all. I’ve been waiting for this, just waiting for something to go wrong and now that it has I feel more solid.
“Beck.”
“No. Promise me you won’t tell anyone what we’ve seen. Promise me Li.” I snarl, making up my mind before she nods and looks down at me with a sad expression I neither want or need.
“Promise. But-”
“Good. Now go, I have something to do.”
“What? No! You and I are going in there to kick both of their asses!”
“Nope. I’m not humiliating myself that way. I have something much more effective in mind.”
&n
bsp; ****
“Just call him first! That’s all I’m asking.” Dillon yells, throwing me the same look he’s been giving me since I left Lila and turned up on his doorstep. “You can’t just leave things this way. Call him and get his story before you throw away everything on a revenge move Beck.”
I give in and pick up my cell but only because the damn romantic idiot won’t stop haranguing me about how I’m giving precious Devon a bum rap.
He answers on the third ring and I smile nastily at the tone in his voice, wanting nothing more than to slap his smug face one last time before doing what I should have done months ago.
“Imp? Where are you babe, I’ve been worried. I got home and you weren’t here. You know you’re not supposed to be overtaxing yourself right now.”
I seethe at the false concern there and just barely stop from smashing the phone to bits. Deep inside, under the betrayal though is a little spark of hope, the idea that maybe Dill is right and I’m wrong, that Devon has a completely reasonable explanation for seeing his ex and lying to me.
That if I just hear him out and shove my hurt pride to the side, things will turn out okay.
When the feeling settles I feel myself calm enough to speak, something I haven’t been particularly good at, but have to work on if Dillon is right and I need to stop being so defensive and quick to judge.
“I’m at Dill-”
“I told you-”
“I came here to talk to him. He’s my friend and I can trust him. Something I can’t say for you since you’ve been lying to me Devon.”
I hear his indrawn breath and then a sigh, his tone so sad and accepting that I have to close my eyes against the rush of tears I didn’t realize I’m holding back.
“Imp you have to understand I didn’t want to hurt you. We’ve both been so stressed with the situation at home and we only now just found our footing. I didn’t want to risk it.”
Yeah, I’ll bet buddy. You want me at your freaking disposal. If you told me before I would have been long gone and you can’t handle the thought of not getting your way.
“You should have just been honest with me Devon. I’m a big girl you know, I can handle a lot more than you think.”
“I know, I just…forgive me imp.”
My eyes close on a sigh and my anger drains away, leaving me defeated and sad. Of course I forgive him. This situation is not entirely his fault, it’s mostly mine. I’d forced us both into this predicament by lying to myself and wanting something he warned me months ago he couldn’t give.
Of course he would tell me he loves me, what guy wouldn’t when faced with the threat of having his kid raised by another man? Not Devon, never Devon.
He takes family very seriously, something I should have factored in when I made myself a part of his life and started putting the screws to him.
Dammit!
“Look, why don’t you come home and we can discuss things. We can continue as we have been, we just need to talk things through. We can still go ahead with the wedding; we just have to work around our commitments and of course your father-”
So not happening asshole.
“No. I can’t do this. I won’t do this. I’m not coming back. The wedding is off.”
Chapter Twenty Five
Dev
Two hours later I am so frantic I can’t sit still and have just managed not to rip my office apart from sheer frustration.
I should have told her the truth about her father from the beginning instead of keeping things away from her, but coward that I am I’ve been trying to juggle my business and this situation while convincing the Slade’s that keeping their family in the dark is not the right move.
And then yesterday Gia had called and requested a meeting.
I’d refused at first since just the sound of her voice is enough to make me sick but some part of me had needed closure on that situation. We’d been together, had been prepared to marry for God’s sake-no, I wanted her to know that I’ve found someone who not only wants me and the lads but who loves us and wants to build a life with me, with all the noise and laughter and love she hadn’t been prepared to give.
I’d wanted to rub it in her face and show her what she’d thrown away. I wanted her to know that she wasn’t the love of my life and that no amount of beauty could trump the perfection I have now.
Yeah, I’d wanted to rub her face in it.
And then she’d dropped the bomb that her father has passed and left her his company and I’d felt so sorry for the pitiful woman I’d offered her comfort and set about finding her a cracker of a CEO to help her run the multibillion pound dinosaur that is Crafts, her father’s company and a money bleeding eyesore in today’s business world.
“What did you do mate? She was fine this morning when she left.” Davy accuses, giving me a death glare that’s hot enough to strip skin.
“I didn’t tell her about Brand. He’s sick and-”
“Nah mate, nah. Hun has a temper and I can see how she’d be pissed off you didn’t tell her but she wouldn’t pull a runner for that. She’d come home, kick you in the bollocks and then make you find a way to fix this. Something ain’t right.”
My phone rings and I answer before the second ring can come through, ready to demand some answers, okay, ready to beg when I hear a loud growl and cursing over the line.
“You better not have fucked another woman after telling my sister you loved her asshole. I just got an earful from my wife about seeing you touching some other chick and now I have to fly to Vegas to watch my scamp marry some asshole who likes it both ways! What the fuck did you do?”
Oh Jesus.
“I am not having an affair. I met with Gia to help her set up a meeting with John Buchannan. She needs a CEO to take over Crafts and-oh Christ. Imp saw me and thinks-”
“Yeah asshole and she threw a fit and went to-”
“Where the fuck is she!”
I’m panicking now, of course I am because I realize that the conversation we had was not about my omission about her father but about her seeing me with Gia and Jesus! I’d bloody well made it sound like I am having an affair and that I basically want an open marriage and-
“Vegas asshole. She caught a plane to Vegas with that chump Dillon and she said we could get there and watch her get married or we can miss out. You better fix this.”
I don’t hardly hear the rest of it because I’m already running for the door, Davy and Ry hot on my heels.
***
I make it to Las Vegas, just barely holding on to my sanity by a thread and though Lila is still spitting mad I managed to calm Grey enough to get the truth and the details out of her.
Imp, my imp, is somewhere in this God forsaken city ready to marry another man and pledge not only her life but the life of my child to another.
“Where are we going!”
“Lila said they’re at The Sunset Chapel!” I yell back, running for all I’m worth and praying, pleading with whatever power that is, that I’m not too late.
I make it to the door before the others can catch up and rip it open, my heart in my throat and beating so fast I feel woozy, only to stop in my tracks when imp comes to a stop directly before me, her swollen body covered in a white, flowing summer dress, her hands clutching a bouquet of flowers.
“Am I too late?”
Chapter Twenty Six
Becky
There are a very few things in life that I regret as much as I do this. Not because I should feel guilty and most definitely not because he deserves my emotions, but because I know that I have fucked up somewhere, badly and that it’s gonna bite a chunk right out of my ass.
“Am I too late?”
I hear the words but I’m so shocked that he’s here, that he’s got the gall to think he belongs here that all I hear and feel at the moment is a roaring scream of soul screaming pain.
I’d turned up at Dillon’s, my mind and body working on autopilot, urging me to do something, what I needed to do to fix this
so that I can come out at the end, not whole, but still somewhat intact enough to survive seeing him again.
Because honestly? As much as I want to fool myself into thinking all this emotion is anger I have to be real here. I hurt like a mother effer. There’s a hole in my chest wide as the freaking Andreas Fault and so deep I don’t even know where to start building to fill that bitch up.
I’d been so happy, like hysterical happy, after he’d said he loves me and that I’m his perfect match, that the betrayal I feel now is almost a physical wound that keeps gushing blood.
“Imp.”
“Hey babydoll, you ready for the photog!”
Devon’s eyes dart behind me to the grinning idiot that is Dillon-I don’t even need to look to see his smile, since he’s had the thing all damn day-and I see them harden before they settle back on me, the light completely extinguished.
“Bleeding balls, tell me you did not marry that poof.” I hear, looking away from Devon’s intense stare to see that Ry and Day standing behind him, their expressions so hurt and hostile I can’t compute it for a second.
And then I realize what they’re saying, what they’re all thinking and I want to scream in denial. Because I know that no matter what I feel it’s not fair on them. They think I’vethrown them all away, abandoned them and left them for something better, as if they’re not the very best, my ideal.
“I did not marry that…don’t call him that. But to be clear, we are not married.” I say clearly, swinging my gaze back to Devon and watching his shoulders relax infinitesimally. “Not that I wouldn’t have since I’ve been on something of a bender today, but he’s been in love with some-his exact matches for some time now and they finally decided to stop messing around. I’m his bestgirl/ring bearer.”
Yeah, and while I’d been a little pissed that my revenge marriage wasn’t gonna happen, I am beyond thrilled to know that Dill has finally taken that final step out of the closet and that it wasn’t too late for him to go back to Danny and Phil, the other two thirds of his love triangle.
JACE (Lane Brothers Book 3) Page 82