So killing him. I am going to put a pillow over his face and hold it there until his legs stop flopping.
“—can be scary as shit,” he finished.
“Right.” Slater was looking at Shawn, though, not at any of us. Then he leaned down and grabbed her hands. “Why didn’t you call me?”
“You’ve been busy. Plus, I thought you were still gone.”
“I came back early.” He sighed. “And you know I’d cancel anything for you.”
Jealousy reared its ugly head. I clenched my fists.
Finn shook his head no while Leo mouthed at me to calm the hell down.
My body felt hot and wild, like I was ready for Slater to challenge me, to call me out. Hell, I was more than ready to run my fist through his face.
He was touching her.
It was different when it was Leo and Finn. Although their actions had sometimes irritated me, I knew they were innocent. I knew they didn’t date, other than one-night stands. Besides, they’d pushed me into this. And we didn’t share with each other, not that way.
“I know.” Shawn cupped his face. “I’m a big girl though, ’kay? I figured it out.”
Hell yeah, she did.
Three times she’d figured it out. Dipshit.
Slater exhaled and stood. “Fine, so what are we watching?”
“Eyes Wide Shut,” Leo said loud and clear. “It’s Finn’s favorite.”
Bullshit! Finn hadn’t even seen it.
Great, I was going to watch all the sex and all the orgies…
An hour after being with Shawn.
An hour after needing to be inside her again.
An hour after trying to decide how I was going to keep her by my side when I knew it was better for her to be across the living room.
“Well?” Slater shrugged. “We doing this?”
“Yup.” Finn started walking out of the room. “Oh, and Slater?”
“What?”
“I’ve missed your winning personality.”
“Bite me.”
“See?” He winked. “He’s ba-a-ack.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Shawn
Those movies? Where you had four hot guys surrounding you, and each and every one of them knew what you needed before you even said it out loud?
That didn’t exist in real life.
Because it’s not real.
Yet there I was, sitting with Slater in front of me warming up my legs and feet.
Finn to the right, handing me popcorn before I could reach for the bowl.
Leo to the left, providing the straw I hadn’t asked for, to the soda I hadn’t even known he’d held until he lifted it to my lips and winked, because clearly, I looked parched. Then there was Knox.
Directly behind me.
Arms crossed.
Sitting in a chair, huffing out his frustration every few minutes, and somehow, I noticed him the most.
Maybe it was his body heat.
Maybe it was the raw hunger I could feel penetrating the walls around my body. Or maybe it was just the fact that every few seconds, his hands were in my hair as if he couldn’t stay away.
Maybe he had no choice but to touch me.
This right here was not what I’d signed up for when I decided to transfer schools, yet, I couldn’t pinpoint why it didn’t feel wrong. Was it because I trusted them?
Leo joked, but I also knew there was this line he’d drawn that he knew not to cross. Finn was all kinds of charismatic, but he truly put others before himself. It was obvious that Slater was protective and concerned about my intense practice schedule.
I knew Knox and I— What we had felt different.
It didn’t feel like any of my other relationships.
I just wished I could have had that normal girl freak-out moment after sex where you called your best friend and gushed about all the things then asked if you were being ridiculous for picking out your wedding dress.
I sighed.
I wasn’t exactly shopping for shoes yet.
And I wasn’t sure if Alexa and I were close enough to even talk about that sort of thing. If I was being really honest? My insecurity was rearing its ugly head in a choking way.
“My parents just… they don’t understand.” Jack ran his hands over his face and groaned in irritation. “But they’re paying for school, you know?”
My blood ran cold. “No, maybe you should just spell it out for me, since last night you were telling me you loved me, and right now it sounds like you’re dumping me!” I started to shake uncontrollably. No. It couldn’t be happening. Not again. I had promised myself this time I’d be careful.
Keep my heart close.
Especially when dating a white guy who drove a shiny brand new BMW and had a daddy who was from the South.
The warning signs were there with his background. But who was I to judge? And he’d promised.
He’d promised!
Jack bit down on his bottom lip and reached out for me. It was exactly what I needed.
I walked into his arms and laid my head on his shoulder.
“I hate this.”
Tears filled my eyes. “Me too.”
“But…”
There it was.
I tensed.
He pulled back. “Shawn, I love you. I do. You’re gorgeous, talented. Hell, any guy on campus would do anything to be with you.”
He was right about one thing. They wanted to be with me.
Keeping me was something else altogether.
Being seen with me?
My parents warned me that not every place was as progressive as New York. I hadn’t listened.
Not until going to LSU.
“Look.” Jack’s smile was forced; he was all white teeth and old money, with a housekeeper who had the same color skin as I, and a gardener who had such a thick Southern accent I couldn’t understand a word he said. “It will blow over. Just give it time.” He squeezed my hand. “I mean, I’ll talk to Dad, but he sort of holds all the cards in his hands right now.”
“So, that’s it.” Anger surged through me. “You’re dumping me because your dad’s a racist pig!”
Tears streamed down my face.
Jack released me as anger flashed so quickly I almost missed it. “What the hell do you know?” he sneered. “He’s my father. I know you’re not used to this sort of lifestyle, but that’s just how things are done! If I’m supposed to take over the firm, I need to follow the rules. Then once I prove myself, I’ll choose whoever I want by my side, and I want you.”
“Romantic,” I said through clenched teeth as I crossed my arms.
He didn’t say anything.
I mean, what was there left to say?
“Goodbye, Jack,” I whispered, wiping away the tears of betrayal and hurt. Wiping away the dreams of a big, fancy wedding and the pretty engagement ring I had seen on my finger the minute he’d said, “I love you.”
What if history repeated itself?
If Knox hadn’t wanted me to keep him forever, he shouldn’t have given me a taste of what a few minutes in his arms would feel like. A girl could get used to those minutes and wonder what would happen if there were more minutes on top of the other minutes.
I tensed.
Maybe it was just a one-time thing.
I could do that.
I could be okay with that.
I just needed to not get any more attached to his perfect smile or the way that, whenever I looked into his eyes, I didn’t see judgement, just a bit of obsession, which made me want him even more.
“Gummy worm?” Finn shoved one in my mouth.
I sucked it between my lips and chewed.
“Where did that even come from?”
“His sweaty pocket,” Knox growled behind me.
Finn ignored him while Leo held the straw to my mouth and winked. “Sip?”
“I’m not a child. I can hold my own can of soda.”
“Ri-i-ght,” Leo said slowly like he was trying to
figure me out. “But you’re relaxing. I have two hands, so why would you when I can do it for you?”
I opened my mouth to argue when Slater grunted out, “Wingman Fantasy Frat Rule Number Two.”
“Huh?” I repeated while Knox went, “Shhhh.”
“Wingman Fantasy Frat? That’s what you are?”
“Technically.” Slater put up air quotes. “At least, that’s how they get paid, right?”
“Are you billing me right now?” I was ready to shoot up from my chair and rage around the living room.
Leo sighed. “Mood wrecker.”
Finn threw popcorn at Slater’s head while Knox put his hands on my shoulders.
I instantly relaxed.
“We don’t bill our friends, asshole,” was Knox’s terse response to Slater. “Let them do something nice for her because they’re genuinely nice guys, not that you would know, since you cut us out three years ago, but—”
The room fell silent.
The buzz of the TV was the only sound I could hear above my own heavy breathing as tension wrapped around us all like a knife.
“Yeah? Well, when you’re questioned by the police and someone dies, things tend to get a bit depressing. Right, Knox? Or is that not the word you would use?”
“No shit-talking during movie-night,” Finn said in a tight voice, flashing me one of his smiles while Leo looked down at his lap, put the soda in one hand then grabbed my hand and squeezed.
At first, I thought it was because he was trying to reassure me.
Then I realized it.
The way he looked at me.
The way he tensed in his seat.
He wanted me to reassure him.
So I did. I squeezed his hand back and smiled.
He nodded then jerked his head back toward Knox, who had gone completely silent behind us.
Until the door to the suite slammed.
“Where’d he go?” I asked the room.
Nobody answered.
I moved to get up, but Slater held my legs tight. “Let him go.”
“But—”
“I said let him fucking go.” Slater turned up the volume.
I held Leo’s hand the rest of the movie.
And when Finn noticed, he wrapped an arm around me, and they kept me close.
I’d often wondered what it would be like to have crazy protective big brothers. I suddenly knew — only it hurt to look at all of them at the same time. They were protective, they were fierce.
They were mine.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Knox
“Hey,” I said dumbly when Shawn ran back in to the suite after what appeared to be a grueling practice. It had been less than twelve hours since I was inside her, since I’d tasted her, felt her body tighten in all the right places. Damn it, I wanted more. And all I had was a “hey”?
“Hey, yourself.” She was a bit out of breath.
Exhaustion looked good on her. Damn good. It would only look better if a workout with me had been the thing that had exhausted her. Her cheeks went pink as if she knew that I’d suddenly thought up a list of every single pink thing on her that I wanted to lick.
“I have to teach Human Anatomy today. Want me to give you a ride?” That sounded good, not desperate. I just wanted to be next to her, even if it meant I couldn’t be kissing her skin. I’d just seen Slater take off, so it would be an easy way for us to talk.
Because if I knew anything about women, it was that they had to talk after sex.
And no chance in hell was I letting that talk be with any of the males currently at her beck and call.
Fuck no. If she wanted to talk about sex between us…
It was me.
Or the wall.
“You look upset.” She tilted her head then held up her finger, ran into her room, and came back a few seconds later with her messenger bag, a cute red beanie that she shoved over her pretty hair, and a bottle of water. She held up her hand again, dashed out of the room and returned with another bottle and tossed it to me.
“I’m not upset.” I smiled and unscrewed the water. “And thanks.”
“Glad you’re not upset, and even more thankful for the ride. I was about to be five minutes late, and the last thing I need—” She pulled her hair over her shoulder while I took a long sip of water. “—is for the TA to spank me over his desk because I’m not on time.”
I choked on a mouthful of water, nearly spewing it out into the air.
She winked.
“Shit.” My hoarse voice came out louder than I thought. “You realize all I’m going to be thinking about is spanking you, right? For an entire damn hour?”
“Oh, I’m counting on it.” She eyed me up and down then focused her attention right where I wanted it.
I’d never gotten so hard so fast in my entire life, and I was wearing the tightest damn jeans on the planet.
“Thinking about it now?”
“I have a very vivid imagination.” I put my hand on the small of her back while I carefully adjusted myself then walked her down the hall and out of the building. “In fact, I’m imagining your naked body spread out on that very same desk with your legs wide open just begging me to take you.”
She stumbled on flat ground.
I caught her elbow and whispered, “Two can play that game.”
“Yeah, but can we both win?” She tapped her chin with her finger.
“As long as I’m inside you, and you’re screaming my name, I think that’s what they call teamwork and winning, don’t you?”
She licked her lips as her eyes drank me in like the only thing she wanted to do was me.
Forever.
God, I’d missed that feeling.
The feeling of being wanted.
The electric pulses of magnetic lust that pounded around two individuals whose hearts raced too fast. I could almost hear her heart taking flight while blood pinked her cheeks… and other places I desperately wanted to kiss.
Later.
After class.
I sighed and looked up. “It’s going to be the longest day of my life, isn’t it?”
“I have a two-hour break after Human Anatomy.” She shrugged a shoulder while I opened her door and helped her in, and because I lacked all sorts of self-control, I kissed her.
Softly.
Not because I was getting paid.
Not because she had a broken heart.
But because I’d wanted to.
And it was the first time in years I’d done something selfishly.
I loved it.
Needed it.
My heart sped up a bit as she licked my lower lip. How she got her mouth so damn soft I’d never know.
“What was that for?” she asked in a voice I knew all too well. It was breathless; it was wanting confirmation; it said and asked all the things I knew we needed to discuss in one simple question. It was also the first time I’d seen uncertainty flicker across her face. I hated it. I hated even more that the reason for it had to do with my employment with Wingman, Inc. and my reputation around campus.
“A kiss,” I said after a few seconds of searching her deep brown eyes. “A damn good kiss.”
She pressed her palm to my cheek and leaned in. “I’ve had better.”
“Liar.” I walked around the car, got in, andstarted the engine.
She laughed, making me smile all the more as we drove around campus and finally found a parking spot.
I killed the engine, got out, and walked over to her side. She was already opening her door.
“Let me be a gentleman at least once in my life,” I murmured, helping her out of the car then dropping her hand.
Campus was busy. Students were everywhere, and one by one, as per usual, the whisperings began, the staring continued, and I could feel every single pair of eyes on the back of my heated neck.
Normally, I’d have put on my sunglasses and ignored everyone, pretending I was better than each human being surrounding me.
&nb
sp; But today I didn’t feel normal.
My armor wasn’t in place.
My pissed-off demeanor had been completely calmed by the gorgeous woman standing next to me, leaving me vulnerable, drained, out of control, and stuck in a bit of a sexual chaos that my body was still trying to cool down from.
“So…” Shawn grabbed my hand and squeezed it.
Then didn’t let go.
I stared down at our joined hands like she’d just announced she was from ET’s planet and needed my touch to stay alive.
I mean.
We were holding hands.
Fucking. Hands.
I didn’t hold hands.
Not with women.
Not on campus.
Not since… her.
People knew that about me.
It was like the sad story you pass down to freshman to warn them away from parties, drugs, and guys with easy smiles and too much money.
I was the warning story.
It was why it made sense to stick with Wingman, Inc.
I could play the part for their own sick entertainment, while at the same time, making money and earning out my internship hours.
But now? Now that Shawn was holding my hand, it was like I suddenly felt even more empty than before.
More terrified.
Of the moment she found out, dropped my hand, and walked out of my life like she should.
“You’re holding my hand,” I blurted, squeezing her fingers back as we headed toward the science building.
“Yeah, you looked a bit panicked.”
“I don’t panic,” I said quickly.
“Sure you don’t.” Her voice was calm, her teasing tone gone, almost like she knew that I was having a mental breakdown and needed support.
What the hell was wrong with me?
Here I was getting ready to have the talk with her, and I couldn’t even get past the fact that we were holding hands and walking into the building together.
Down the hall.
More whispers.
Shit, this was a bad idea.
I didn’t let go, though.
Once we got to the classroom she let go of my hand and made her way up to Leo.
His eyebrows were basically caught up in his beanie as his jaw dropped to his desk. He held out a coffee to her while slurping on his own Frappuccino. His shit-eating grin was the last thing I needed right now.
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