by Layla Frost
Seems like an offering of something much better.
I shook my head to clear my thoughts, an exercise in futility. I fixed my coffee and sat down to try and compose my thoughts without overthinking.
It wasn’t going well.
Jake seemed to be trying hard. Until I knew what he was working for, though, I couldn’t decide if the effort was going to pay off.
When I heard the rumble of Jake’s Harley, I went to let him in. Before I got there, he came in without knocking, lightly kicking the door closed behind him.
“Hey,” he said, quickly kissing me before heading into the kitchen.
I stood frozen, watching him move through my house.
The whole scene felt intimate in a casual and natural way, as if it was a daily occurrence. Like he had free rein of my house, coming and going as he pleased.
It was disconcerting, but only because it wasn’t.
I liked it.
I’d been on my own for a long time. Even before I had my house, I’d spent most of my time by myself. Truth be told, even when I wasn’t alone growing up, I often felt like I was.
I liked my own company. I laughed at my own jokes, I was a good listener, and I never had to compromise about what to have for dinner or what to watch on TV. I could have ice cream at eleven in the morning or coffee at nine at night without judgment.
I had awesome friends who were always there for me. Work and school kept me busy in a rewarding way.
I was honestly happy.
That, however, didn’t negate the fact that I was also lonely.
Not the heartbreaking loneliness of a little girl that just wanted time with her mom and dad.
Or the confused loneliness of someone trying to figure out who they were when everything about them went against their surroundings.
Or even the exhausting loneliness that came from pretending to be someone they weren’t, in order to fit in with a room full of people they didn’t even like.
I was the kind of lonely where I was just… alone.
I wasn’t going to be with someone just for the company. But as I watched Jake, I knew I wanted someone to walk casually through my house more often.
Even if it wasn’t him.
In order to have that, I needed to drop the walls I’d built around myself. It wouldn’t be easy to juggle school, work, and any semblance of a personal life, but it was possible.
As long as I quit making excuses, at least.
“I wasn’t sure what you wanted.” Jake lifted the overstuffed bag and pulled me from my thoughts.
“Well, I’m sure it’s in that bag.”
Or holding it.
God, how could he look so good all the time? If I slept on the couch, my hair would be one giant snarl and I’d have fabric indents all over my face.
Jake set the bag on the counter and began pulling out pastries, spreads, and juice.
I fixed a bagel with cream cheese and grabbed a juice before going to sit on the couch. I almost sighed in relief when Jake sat down and launched right in.
“I gotta tell you where my head was at. Yeah?”
“Okay.”
“When you came into Hyde that first day, you looked so fuckin’ good. When you finally looked me in the eyes, you were all innocent and wide-eyed like you didn’t know how fuckin’ sexy you were when your tongue licked across your lips. Then you started talkin’ and you were sweet. But when you started talkin’ about tattoos and music, I was sure you were an act.”
I frowned, experiencing a weird mix of turned on and pissed. “I’ve always been me.”
“I didn’t know that. I thought you were just out to get with one of us. You had the men eatin’ out of your hand. No way could any chick, let alone one that looked like you, be so perfect. Not without fakin’ it to try to get somethin’.”
Pissed off began to take the lead. “That’s not what I was doing.”
“Exactly. You just kept bein’ you. You weren’t tryin’ to get with me ‘cause of who I was. Hell, you didn’t even know me or that I owned Hyde. You’re so far from connivin’ and schemin’, it’d be funny if it weren’t so fuckin’ appealin’. You make a man face the internal battle of whether he’d rather protect you so you never lose that sweetness or corrupt you so he could enjoy your wild side unleashed.”
I looked down at my shorts, picking at an imaginary thread. “Which do you want?”
Jake curved his hand around the side of my neck. Using his thumb on my jaw, he tilted my head up so I was looking at him. “I wanna bring you down low to my level. I get off picturin’ makin’ you so dirty, so wild, so fuckin’ bad that it has to be good,” he rumbled.
Holy.
Fuck.
I want that.
Badly.
“I see your lips part, and I know you like what I’m sayin’.” Lowering his hand, he sat back. “Which just makes me want to go further. To show you every fucked up thought I have, the ones that make my dick go hard picturin’ doin’ it all with you. To keep pushin’ and pushin’ and pushin’ until you want nothin’ to do with me.”
“Why?” I breathed. It was safe to say I was a bit freaked out. I was also more than a little turned on.
As in a lot more.
“Fuck, Piper, I’m thirty-four and you’re twenty. Every time I think about you, I feel like a dirty old man. I’ve never made excuses for the life I’ve lived—”
“I’ve never asked you to. There isn’t anything wrong with it.”
“Fuck yeah there is. I’m dirty, baby. If you knew what was in my head you wouldn’t look at me the way you do. You wouldn’t believe how much longer I’m spendin’ on the creeper under a car, feelin’ like a fuckin’ creeper, ‘cause I have a hard dick from thinkin’ about you. Or how many cold showers I’m takin’. Or when the cold showers aren’t workin’…” His voice trailed off with a shoulder lift.
It’s a good thing I’m not a dude or I’d need a car to hide under right now.
“Let’s just say you wouldn’t want me on your couch, in your house, hell, in your life. That’s why I thought you should be with a guy your own age who’s good. But when I think about you respondin’ to someone else the way you did with me, of them tastin’ that sweetness and gettin’ your wild it feels like I’m losin’ my goddamned mind. When Kase came into my office yesterday and I bit his fuckin’ head off about some stupid shit, he started yellin’ back.”
“What’d he say?”
“He knew what was in my head. He told me someone else would get you soon and I’d regret it. After I fucked up, Gage and Jet would’ve been all over you but they’re on tour. Rhys goes for what he wants and he isn’t gonna back down. I knew I had to do some—”
“Is that the only reason you’re here?”
“What?”
“You’re just trying to stake your claim before someone beats you to it?”
“Fuck no. I just had to pull my head outta my ass.”
“And you were successful in your head-ass-ectomy?”
“About this at least. That’s why I came out last night. I missed you, and wanted to see you. When I saw you dancin’ with Rhys, I tried to remind myself you could do what you wanted. I know if you would’ve pulled up here with him or anyone else, though, it wouldn’t have mattered what I was tellin’ myself. I’d have thrown the fuck down. Someone touchin’ you? No. Rhys? I love him like a fuckin’ brother but fuck no.”
I was surprised by how vehemently opposed to the idea he was. “Just, you know, out of curiosity, why not Rhys?”
“I’m dirty but compared to him I’m clean as you, Piper. All I could think about was what it would be like seein’ you together. I’d either lose a brother, or I’d have to see you and know how shit was between you.”
“So,” I started slowly, my voice deceptively calm. “In the planning of my life, have you thought about what I want? Or who I’d want and how I’d like it? Just because I’m inexperienced doesn’t mean I don’t know things.” I gestured to my laptop. �
�One look at my internet history would clear that up.” I knew I was blushing but I didn’t care.
I’m a woman, damn it! I need to get rid of my innocence, in more ways than one.
“I grew up sheltered and didn’t go through the typical rebellion when I was young and stupid. Now I’m old enough to know better than to jump into bed with someone just to say I’ve done it. I know what I want. I wanted you and that was my choice to make not yours, Mister… Bossy Pants!”
Okay, so my smack talk needs work. Moving on.
“If you don’t want to go there with me, that’s your decision. But don’t try to take away my choice by telling me I can’t want you. Or what I should want.”
“You wanted me?” Jake asked quietly.
“Well, me and probably half the city of Boston, yeah.”
“You said wanted. Are those feelings in the past?”
“I wished they were, but no.”
“I really thought I was doin’ the right thing by lettin’ you go so you could be with someone better for you.”
I opened my mouth to argue but he interrupted.
Shocking.
“I was already feelin’ like I shouldn’t be havin’ these feelings about you. But when I discovered how innocent you really are—”
“You act like there’s something wrong with me, which, I gotta say, is killer for my ego.”
“I’m not—”
“My virginity isn’t something to be ashamed of.”
“I didn’t—”
“Yeah, I don’t have a ton of experience. And, thanks to you, what little I have now involves you being an asshole.”
“I’m s—”
“And, honestly, that whole situation was beyond fucked up. You didn’t want to have sex? Fine, but be cool about it. You wanted to slow down, talk, hammer out the details? Also fine. But what you did? Fucked up, Jake, seriously.” I slammed my juice down with enough force that some spilled. “I still don’t even know what your fuckin’ problem was!” I lifted my hands in exasperation, flinging the crumbs off my napkin.
“If you’d stop interruptin’—”
“Now you know how it feels,” I snapped, my eyes narrowing as I glared at him.
“And stop throwin’ your breakfast at me,” he continued as he used his napkin to wipe off. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled that night and I’m a dick for that. Truth? I was pissed at myself, not you. There’s not a thing wrong with you bein’ a virgin. I just felt like it confirmed that I was a dirty old man who had no business makin’ you dirty too.”
“Sex isn’t dirty.”
I lost my breath as his eyes darkened with a new intensity and his rough voice deepened. “It is the way I do it.”
Holy hotness. I don’t care what that means exactly, I just know I want it. Now.
“Especially what I wanted to do to you,” he added, making me sure I was about to pass out.
“Wanted? Are those feelings in the past?” I asked breathily, using his words.
“No, that is actually a very current want.” Reaching over, his hands spanned my hips and he pulled me towards him.
With no other choice, not that I’d want one, I shifted my legs to straddle him. Facing him, I settled in on his lap and felt the current-ness of that want.
Jake’s fingertips dug into my hips for a moment before he loosened his grip. “Can we give this another shot, see where things go?”
“I meant it when I said I don’t play games. Are you gonna push me away again and say I deserve better?”
“No, I’m gonna be selfish as fuck.”
“While we’re talking about all this, I like calling you Jacoby. But you aren’t Jacoby, the owner of Hyde, to me. You’re just… Jake.” I reached out and ran my fingertips on his jaw. “Okay?”
“Yeah. We good?” he asked softly.
It wasn’t lost on me that there’d been no talk of hearts and flowers. He wasn’t promising a future and I wasn’t asking for one.
I hadn’t believed in fairy tales when I was a kid and I sure as hell didn’t now.
I wasn’t walking into things wide-eyed in my rose colored glasses. There were no stars in my eyes as I tried to fuck a commitment out of him. That wasn’t him and, for all I knew, it wasn’t me either. I just wanted to spend time with someone I liked and have some fun without getting tripped up by unrealistic expectations.
Hanging out with a sweet, funny badass and having, hopefully, awesome sex for a while?
Yeah, there are worse ways to spend my time.
We were going to enjoy each other for however long it lasted. When one of us ended things, we’d move on and hopefully do so on civil terms. I wasn’t planning on inviting him over for a slumber party where we gossiped and braided each other’s hair, but I hoped that some amount of our friendship would remain.
Instead of answering, I closed the distance to kiss him. The little kiss, one that was supposed to let him know things were alright, quickly spiraled out of control.
Jake slouched down on the couch so his head was resting against the back of it and his long legs were spread in front of him. The position gave him better access to my mouth, neck, and chest.
Access that he took liberally.
His mouth was hot, his stubble scratchy, and his body so hard. Even being almost overwhelmed with the different sensations, I wanted more.
He gripped my hips and pulled me to him as he lifted his pelvis off the couch.
Feeling him so hard, pressed against where I wanted him most, I moaned into the kiss.
His hand slid under my shirt, my nipples tightening in anticipation as his rough skin trailed up my ribs. His other hand went into my hair and held me, as though I were about to jump off and run away.
Leaving was the furthest thing from my mind, especially since my brain was no longer functioning. I was focused on what I was feeling, and while it was amazing, I wanted more.
No, I needed it.
My hands went in between us, shaking as I worked at the button on his jeans. When I finally got it undone and was reaching for his zipper, a ringing filled the air.
Holy hell, do his pants have a security system?
Did I just trip his dick alarm?
Realizing it was his phone, I pulled back to get off of him.
“Ignore it,” Jake growled, grabbing my hands and moving them back to his zipper, before taking my mouth again.
I slid my fingertips into the waistband of his boxers when his phone stopped ringing just to start again.
I pushed back and fell to the side onto the couch.
He cursed, pulling his phone out and touching the screen to answer it. “This better be fuckin’ good. Yeah. Yeah. You’re fuckin’ kiddin’ me? It’s for a fuckin’ eighty year old car. Who the hell else would need that part? Alright, yeah, I’m on my way. No. No. Fuck no. Yeah, bye.” He touched the screen to disconnect before putting the phone, and other better things, away.
Boo.
Jake cursed under his breath as he stood. “I’m sorry, sweets, I gotta go.”
“Everything okay?”
“Some shit’s been goin’ missin’. Lots of little stuff mostly. But now a part I need to finish a job, that’s gotta get done like yesterday, is gone. Havin’ to stay on a creeper for ‘Inappropriate Hard-on Time’ is seriously makin’ me run behind schedule.”
“Oh no, woe is you. I’m so sorry, I’ll try to be less desirable,” I joked, trying to ease the stress I could see settling on his face.
“Somehow I don’t think you’ll be successful. Especially now with your lips so swollen. Fuck. Okay, I have to go. Right?”
“Oh, I dunno, it’s just your livelihood and your company. Who cares if it goes under.”
“Good point.”
I backed up against a wall as Jake stalked toward me. “Ah, I was kidding! Go, go, go. I hope it goes okay.”
“I’ll figure it out. Come in later and see your boys. See me. Consider that an order from Mr. Bossy Pants.” He pushed against
me and kissed me hard, hot, but way too short.
Oh yeah, some risks were way worth taking.
*******
Two days later, I walked into Hyde through the garage. I was greeted with loud catcalls and whistles because of my outfit. These turned into proclamations of everlasting love when they saw the homemade cinnamon rolls I was carrying.
When I didn’t see Jake, I went into the break room to put the thick layer of cream cheese icing on the rolls. I was finishing up when I heard someone approaching. I glanced over anticipating one of the guys. Instead, I saw a woman looking just as surprised to see me.
Wearing a cropped tank top that strained across what I was fairly certain were fake boobs, a pair of almost indecently short jean cut-offs, and motorcycle boots, she was obviously a biker. In fact, if they ever made a Biker Barbie she could be the model it was based on.
Her blond hair had crazy volume, making me think she was responsible for a much larger ozone hole than I was. Her face was heavily made up and looked very rock ‘n’ roll night time.
I was all for rock ‘n’ roll at any time, and had been known to push the limits of acceptable glam, but even I knew this was not the best look.
Even still, she was a definite biker babe.
I had a meeting at the bank later that morning, so I was dressed almost the complete opposite of Biker Barbie. I was wearing a tailored black pinstripe skirt with a matching short vest and a fitted red button down tucked in underneath. I'd added some rocker flair with my favorite pair of back seam black stockings and a pair of shiny, black sling-back pumps. The front of my hair was up in victory rolls and the back was down in soft waves.
What’re they gonna do, re-deny my loan?
My eye makeup was more subtle since I’d gone with a bold red lip stain. It was all a trade-off. Otherwise I’d end up looking less ‘rocker’ and more ‘Krusty the Clown’.
“Sorry, didn’t know anyone was back here. Jake," she said, drawing out his name while her eyes swept over me, "said I could come back and use the bathroom,”
“It’s down the hall to the left,” I said, going for polite.
“Oh, trust me, I know. I’ve been here a few times with Jake. After hours, of course…”