“You’re very thoughtful,” she replied, closing the parlour door. “Thank you, and yes, I’m quite well.”
She gave him that soft look again, filled with gratitude for his kindness, and Ben wanted to cut his own heart out. He was not deserving of that look. He was a black-guard and a cad as he’d wanted to see her tonight and plan for seducing her properly. Last night had left him angry with himself and frustrated, and he’d been determined that he wouldn’t be thwarted again.
Now, however, the truth dawned on him. Dinah had fought to be where she was. Joe had sacrificed much to keep her safe, to give her a chance at the life she deserved. Ben could allow no one, not even himself, to take that from her. She deserved a full and happy life. She deserved a husband that loved her to distraction and a house full of children, to walk down the street with her head held high.
Ben sucked in a breath as he realised he could give her none of those things. He had no desire to marry, not unless Dreighton or Will failed to provide the title with an heir which was possible. Dreighton’s wife was getting older and the man never looked in good health. Will seemed too cold and aloof to consider marriage though he knew his duty well enough. If Will failed, however, Ben would be forced to marry and procreate to provide an heir himself. If that happened, the marriage would be a business affair, nothing more. He had no desire for a wife who would interfere in the way he lived his life.
“Are we going out tonight, Ben?” He looked up, torn from his troubling thoughts as she moved closer to him and placed her hands on his chest. She looked up at him and Ben found himself trapped in that crystal gaze. He wanted to kiss her so badly it hurt, the ache beneath his skin making him feel bruised with longing. The way she tilted her head up was more than inviting, and he knew she wanted it, too. Stepping away from her was the hardest thing he’d ever done.
“Not tonight,” he said, keeping his voice warm in case he should offend her, though he could not escape the confusion in her eyes. “I have things to do. Besides, you’ll be free of me soon enough,” he added, trying to keep things light-hearted. “I’m sure the money will come through soon, now, and you’ll be able to begin your life over just as you wanted to.” He smiled at her, though there was a heavy feeling pressing upon his chest, a weight of regret that he could in no way be a part of her future, not without damaging her reputation. She would have to fight enough for respectability, after all, though among her own class, it ought to be easier than facing the censure of the ton.
“Yes. Yes, of course,” she replied, her voice sounding a little strained as she returned his smile. “I should be selfish indeed to think you would keep running after me and taking me out. You have your own life to live, and not one with a wife in it!” She laughed at her own joke, which he didn’t find the least bit funny, though it was a strangely brittle sound. He watched as she moved towards the door, clearly expecting him to go now, wanting him to go now. After all, there was no longer any reason for him to stay. Nonetheless, he hesitated.
“Dinah, I wanted to ask. If you need a little money to tide you over …”
“Oh, no!” she said, shaking her head as she opened the parlour door. “As you said, the money will come through soon, and I’ve imposed on you quite enough.”
Ben hurried towards her, reaching out and taking her hand, a little hurt by her behaviour and her eagerness to be rid of him all at once. He took her hand, squeezing the fingers. “It was my pleasure, Dinah, truly, it was … I … I only wish …”
He paused as he realised he didn’t know what he wished. That it wasn’t a ruse, perhaps? That it didn’t have to end like this? But it was a ruse and it would end, there was no other choice possible, and no point whatsoever in regrets.
“You’ve been more than generous, Ben, considering how I trapped you into this,” she said, removing her hand from his as she walked to the front door. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I … I also have things to do.”
Ben nodded, accepting his dismissal and stepping outside though he had never felt more reluctant to leave her. He turned, wanting to ask her if she was really all right, but before he could open his mouth, the door had been closed on him.
He just stood there for a moment, feeling like a fool, and wondering what on earth he was supposed to do now.
Chapter 17
“Wherein good intentions force our heroine onto a darker path.”
Dinah leant back upon the door and sucked in a deep breath, fighting back tears and the desire to tear it open again, to beg him not to leave her. Not yet, at least. She wasn’t ready yet. She swallowed hard and stood straighter as Joe appeared in the hallway.
“Did I jus’ ‘ear you turn ‘is money down?” he demanded, looking astonished.
Dinah swallowed and nodded, hurrying past Joe and into the kitchen so he could not see the tears in her eyes. “Of course,” she said, sounding impatient. “I’m about to inherit a vast sum of money, Joe. Lord Lancaster has done quite enough for me already. I have some pride, you know.”
“Aye,” Joe retorted, his voice a little bitter. “Pride is all well an’ good, but you can’t eat it, little D. Jus’ ‘ow long do you think that Grubber fellow is going to drag ‘is feet after ‘is lor’ship gave ‘im what-for?” he demanded as she poured herself a mug of tea. “’Ere, that’s cold now.”
Joe went to take the mug from her and make a fresh pot, but Dinah kept a hold of it.
“It’s fine,” she snapped, feeling wretched at the surprised look of hurt in his eyes. “So what are you saying?” she asked, needing to focus on something else. “How much do we have left?”
Joe sighed, rubbing one massive hand over his face and looking weary. He focused his gaze on her and she knew whatever he would say was not good.
“Dot’s gone,” he said, his face growing dark with anger. “The blasted woman took everything we ‘ad left, an’ all. I expect she’s sleepin’ it off by now in some gutter.”
“Oh, Joe!” Dinah exclaimed, horrified that even Dot would stoop so low. “Everything?”
Joe’s shrugged and he shook his head. “I got a few bob tucked away for emergencies, but … not enough. Not by a long chalk.”
Dinah sucked in a breath as she realised what he meant. “But we have to make the payment for the alterations to that gown and those gloves I bought and …”
“And I know!” Joe retorted, running a hand through his hair and looking worried now. “Which is why Miss High and Mighty could have thought a little before dismissing his lordship’s kind offer. It weren’t as though you couldn’t ‘ave paid him back.” He sighed as Dinah stared at him in horror. Damn, but she was a fool, she hadn’t even thought, she’d just been so hurt by Ben’s dismissal, and … There was no point in thinking about that. At least she had something to keep her mind occupied now.
“Don’t you worry, treacle,” Joe said, his voice soothing. “You jus’ leave it to me, I’ll sort something.”
“No!” Dinah exclaimed, shaking her head. “You’ll do no such thing, Joe. We’ve talked about this before. I won’t risk you getting hurt or transported if you get caught. Not now, when we’re so close to being safe. No, we’ll do this together, it’s less risky that way.”
“No, little D,” Joe began, but Dinah was having none of it. It would do her good to remember where she came from, what kind of woman she really was, instead of daydreaming and longing for a life she had no right to even consider.
“Together, Joe,” she said, her voice firm as she considered their options. “It will be a last hurrah,” she said, smiling at him as he let out a breath, shaking his head. “A farewell to our old life and the start of the new.”
Joe scowled at her, shaking his head, though he knew better than to talk her out of it, he’d just be wasting his breath. “Right you are, then,” he muttered, still glowering. “We’ll do it your way.”
Dinah nodded, relieved to have a plan to work to even if Joe sounded none too happy about it. “I think the three-card Monte should do nicely. If w
e find a fellow with a plump pocket, we should only need to do it the once to tide us over.”
Joe glowered and muttered, but they both knew they had no choice. There were bills to pay and they needed to eat, and Dinah would rather die than go cap in hand and ask Ben for a handout. It was too humiliating.
***
It had all gone swimmingly, at first. Joe set up his little table and the cards and called for people to come and try their luck. It was a busy place on the corner of Wood Street, close to the fashionable shopping to be found in Cheapside.
There had been a few interested players, and Dinah had kept an eye from a discreet distance, but there were none yet who looked like they could afford to lose the money they played with, so Joe kept moving them on. They’d not fleece someone unless they looked like they could well afford it. It was little rules like this that allowed Dinah to sleep at night, despite the nature of their business.
She looked up in interest as a well-dressed young man strode up to Joe with a friend in tow. They looked like a pair of young bucks out on the town to kick up a lark. One was a large fellow, almost as tall as Ben but not yet as broad. His friend was smaller, rather more slender, and appeared a little in awe of his rather dashing friend. Dinah smiled as she took in their ridiculously high collars, intricate neck-cloths that must have given their valets a migraine, and a profusion of dangling fobs that jostled at their hips. Perfect. Wealthy and foolish, just what they needed.
She let them play a round or two, knowing Joe would let them win, and then went to join in.
“Oh, how clever you are,” she exclaimed as the young man won again. She was pleased to see a rather calculating look in the man’s eyes as he looked her over. She always felt so much more at ease if they were taking advantage of someone she didn’t like.
“Why don’t you ‘ave a go, too, Miss?” Joe encouraged, speaking to her as though he’d never seen her before.
“Oh … I don’t know. I’m not so quick as these young men.” She smiled at them a little shyly and the two men nudged each other and grinned, a lewd look in the bigger fellow’s eye as his gaze raked over her once more.
“Come along, Miss, play for a farthing, it ain’t much.”
“Oh, very well, then,” she agreed, looking a little flustered and somewhat reluctant.
“Just follow yer ‘eart, Miss,” Joe said, grinning as Dinah concentrated on following the red ace of hearts as Joe flicked the three cards one over the other with speed and dexterity.
“There!” she exclaimed in triumph as all three cards settled on the table top.
The young men groaned, and Dinah gave them a doubtful look.
“Nah, sorry, Miss,” Joe replied, shaking his head. “King o’ clubs.” He obligingly turned up the three cards, showing the king of clubs and spades and the ace of hearts.
Dinah made a noise of discouragement but allowed Joe to coerce her into playing three more rounds, each of which she lost.
“Oh, dear,” she said, looking dejected. “I’m not very good at this.”
The young men, looking exceedingly smug, offered to show her how it was done. Naturally, they won three times in a row. Beaming and looking very pleased when Joe suggested they make things a little more interesting, the young men were happy to agree. They shared knowing glances, thinking this would be easy money. Once the crucial bet was made, Dinah made her excuses, saying she really must go now, and hurrying away. The young men gave her a regretful look but were now too eager to win their money to pay her much mind. Joe could well take care of two young pups like that, and with luck, that was money enough to pay their bills and keep them fed if they went carefully.
Dinah was supposed to make her way directly home. It was always safer to get out of the area as fast as possible, just in case, after pulling a scam like that. Today, however, she could not keep her mind of her troubles, and more specifically, Ben.
She dawdled, looking in shop windows at things she might soon be able to afford, and finding she didn’t really care much about such things. Never seeing Ben again, however, that was an ache that settled itself under her skin like a cold layer of lead. It was heavy with regret, the weight of it making her limbs feel sluggish. Depression sucked at her hopes, making the little things she’d been so looking forward to seem of little interest now. With increasing melancholy, she walked with little care where she went, but as she left the more fashionable streets, Dinah realised too late that she hadn’t paying as much attention as she should have been.
“Hey, there’s that girl!”
The shout was loud enough to startle Dinah from her daydreaming, and, too late, she realised she’d wandered almost in a circle and back on herself towards Cheapside. It was a quiet street, though, away from the main thoroughfare, and heading towards her were the two young men Joe had just fleeced.
“You were in on it, weren’t you, you little bitch?” one man threw at her, suddenly looking furious and tense and in need of retribution.
Dinah swallowed, looking around her for help or assistance and found nothing but closed doors and a narrow street, one end of which was now blocked. There was really nothing else she could do, so she picked up her skirts, and ran.
***
Ben threw the cards down and the other three players cursed and muttered. He’d won a small fortune this evening. No matter what he did, how recklessly he played, he couldn’t seem to lose. Not that he wanted to, only winning didn’t seem to bring him any satisfaction, either.
He hadn’t seen Dinah for two days.
It was best, he told himself, best for them both if they got used to the fact that this ridiculous affair was almost over. He needed to get back to his life and allow people to forget about the scandal he’d created. Dinah would move on and forget him and … It was about this point that his thoughts would stall, and he would pour himself a large drink.
He’d tried to get back into his usual routine, visiting friends, partying, going to his club, but wherever he went, he was beset by that restless, unsettled feeling that seemed to be riding him harder than ever.
Ben got up, ignoring the protests of his fellow players that they needed a chance to win their money back. They’d been playing him most of the evening and hadn’t won yet, so he figured they’d had chance enough. Strolling through the dark towards his waiting carriage, he sighed, wondering what Dinah was up to in his absence. From what she’d told him of her life before he’d come into it, she spent most evenings reading, getting lost in a book. With a smile, he wondered if she was nose deep in the intrigue of the Gothic novel he’d bought her. Glancing down at his pocket watch, he frowned. It was far too late, really, but … Well, Dinah wouldn’t care about the proprieties, and no one would know. Besides, they were still engaged for now.
Something aroused his suspicions when Joe answered the door, looking cagey.
“Evening, Joe,” Ben said, smiling at him. “May I come in?” He held up a bottle of the finest French brandy he’d had the forethought to pick up from his home on the way. He felt Joe would appreciate a drop, and he had warmed to the old villain now he realised what sacrifices he’d made to look after Dinah.
Joe’s eyes widened as he looked at the bottle, but he cleared his throat, looking regretful. “It’s … er … it’s not a good time really, my lord. P’raps you can come back another day?”
“When?” Ben replied, wondering what was setting the hairs on the back of his neck prickling. “Tomorrow?”
Joe shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck. “No, I don’t reckon tomorrow’s any good neither,” he muttered.
“What’s going on, Joe?” Ben demanded, wondering why the man was so ill at ease. “Where’s Dinah?”
“She … er … she ain’t well …” the big man began as Ben’s heart grew cold. Visions of Dinah lying on her sickbed and not getting the care she needed pressed into his mind from every angle.
“What?” he exclaimed, pushing his way past Joe without waiting to hear more. “Why the devil di
dn’t you say so?”
Ben barged into the entrance hall and threw open the door to the parlour, to find Dinah sitting in a chair by the fireplace. The fire wasn’t lit, the night being warm, but she was wrapped up in a blanket and she jumped as Ben came in.
“Ben,” she said in dismay as Ben stared at her in horror.
“Dinah?” He sucked in a breath as he looked her over and found himself a moment later on his knees beside her. “Dinah, what happened? Who did this?”
Dinah shook her head, her eyes glittering with tears. One eye was swollen shut and there was dark angry bruising around her slender neck.
“Some cowardly young pups,” Joe said, his voice as dark and angry as the fury growing in Ben’s heart. “She fought ‘em off, though. Didn’t you, eh, treacle?” Joe said, though Ben could see the fury and frustration in the man’s eyes. He understood it only too well, he wanted to find whoever had done this and tear them limb from limb.
“How? Why?” he began, looking between them and finding himself at a complete loss for what to ask first. He turned back to Dinah and put a careful hand to her cheek on the side of her face that wasn’t bruised. “Oh, love, how did this happen?” he asked, but Dinah just shook her head again and began to cry, and Ben’s heart broke to hear his brave, proud girl so shaken.
“Reckon we might open that brandy, if it’s all right wiv you, my lord,” Joe said, jerking his head to indicate Ben should follow him to the kitchen. Ben nodded and turned to kiss Dinah’s hand.
“I’ll be right back,” he said, squeezing her fingers gently as she returned a wan smile and nodded.
Ben stood and made his way to the kitchen, closing the door behind him.
“Right, then, Joe,” he growled, wanting to tear the whole of bloody London apart to discover who was responsible for this. “What the hell is going on?”
Chapter 18
“Wherein our hero wishes to do violence.”
The Last Man in London Page 13