`Isn't it early?' I asked.
`No. It is time. You must go out into the wilderness and test your skills there.'
`What exactly must I do?'
`The forests are full of wildlife. Beasts, wild animals, monsters. Some undead. In these parts, the most dangerous creatures you can come across are werewolves. I do not recommend that you try to fight them just yet. Try wolves. Or other wild animals.'
`How can I find them?'
`You don't have to. They will hunt you. You must have had you fair share of battle against them on your way here.'
`Actually... no. I did not fight anything on my way here.'
This surprised him.
`How can that be? How did you avoid them?'
`I didn't. They avoided me. I think they sense the demon within me, and they stay clear of me. Instinctively.'
`I see.' he said, after a brief silence. `Then you must hunt them.'
`Kill them without provocation? Just for sake of practice?' I shook my head. `That feels wrong...'
`Does it? What of your... condition?' he asked.
I knew well what he meant. I told him all about the demon within me and so he understood well. Too well, perhaps. So well that he was the one reminding me of what I would have loved to forget. He was right. It had to be done. I just didn't want to accept it.
`I came here to learn how to keep the demon at bay.' I told him. `I do not want to feed it. I just don't!'
`All this, I know. Likewise, you know, or at least should know by now, that your training will take many years to reach completion. Until then, you must somehow keep the demon inside you in check. That is the only way.'
`I know...' I told him, looking down. I knew well what he meant. If the demon ever surfaces in his retreat, he might be killed. If that came to pass, I'd never complete my training, and all was for naught.
`Look... If you feel it's wrong to kill those creatures if they don't attack you, there is one other alternative.'
`Alternative?'
`To the east of here, about two days of walking distance away, there is a major trade road connecting two cities. A dangerous road, plagued by bandits. Like the wild creatures of the forest, they normally attack without warning, and unlike the wild creatures of the forest, they will certainly not sense your demonic nature... They will attack you on sight. Then, you can kill them. It will be self defense, nothing more. Surely, you have no problem with that. Surely, you have no liking for bandits, do you?'
He was right about that. All my life I despised bandits, robbers, and thieves. In Ess'yer, many claimed to have become bandits out of need. That's nothing more than an excuse. It is simply more convenient to be a bandit than to earn a living.
Yet I still didn't want to do it. I didn't want to have to kill anyone just for the demon in me. There was no purpose behind any of this, I would not go there to slay those bandits to make the roads a safer place, I would go there just to test my skills and to satisfy the demon inside me. I would go there and kill them out of selfish reasons. I knew it was necessary, and I knew this was the best option for me. Or rather, the least bad option. I still didn't like it. I felt that Doorn was cold in his thinkings, but he was only being logical, and it was no fault of his that logic is often cold.
`No. I have no liking for them at all.' I said finally, with a grim voice.
`Good. Then go! Kill some of them. When you return, you will choose another weapon, and we will continue your training.' he said in such a casual way, that it shocked me. He was cold, he had no remorse about what I was about to do. I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all. For a second, I felt that not only do I not like his coldness, I don't like him. At the same time I knew he was right that I had to do it, and I knew well that he was my only chance.
As cold as he was, as cruel as he was, and as cruel as what I was to do was, I had one sole comfort. The sole comfort that those I would slay were no more than filth, that they deserved to die.
Yes, they deserved to die...
But did I not?
I gathered my things, armed myself, and headed out. Before I stepped outside, he told me:
`Do not forget, your aim in this endeavor is to test your fighting skills. Do not resort to the use of what magic you know, unless you are severely outnumbered. Even then, use only as much as necessary.'
I nodded, and left his retreat.
*
It all happened as he said it would. When I reached the road, I started to walk north, and just half an hour later, I was ambushed. Four bandits came at me, all armed with swords.
They thought I was easy prey. In the beginning, it seemed I would be. Despite all I learned, I failed to parry their attacks and strike them myself. The odds of four on one were no better for my chances. So I resorted to magic. I decided to use defensive spells to block the damage and try to defeat them with sword attacks. They became visibly frustrated when their blows started to miss me for no apparent reason, and I noticed how this lowered their guard. I was able to deal a surprise blow to one of them, which, to my even greater surprise, proved to be fatal. As he lay on the ground dying, the other three started to suspect something, and tried to overpower me, and disarm me.
I did not let them corner me however. They were stronger, but I was quicker. Still, I was unable to defeat them like that. I thought that I should retreat, but the demon inside me felt otherwise.
Out of nowhere, I felt that pain in my heart, and it made me fall on my knees. The three bandits attacked right away, and had it not been for my magical shield, they would have killed me. The shield deflected their attacks, and they did not realize what was about to happen.
I transformed into the demon again. It ripped them apart, one by one. They did not stand a chance. All I could do is watch through its eyes as it dismembered them, and feasted on their ripped out hearts much as it feasted on Carrie's heart on that horrible night. Then it laughed, and slowly allowed me to change back.
It was satisfied.
I was not.
*
When I returned to Doorn, I thought he'd be disappointed, as disappointed as I was, if not more so. But he was pleased. In particular, he was pleased with the way I killed the first bandit.
`You should be pleased with your progress.' he said. `You are now learning how the moves we practice work in a real fight. Well done! As for the others, it's a shame the demon took the kills from you, but perhaps it is for the better.'
`For the better? Why?'
`From what you told me, that beast inside you desires to kill like a man wandering the desert desires water. Certainly, it will find more satisfaction if it kills by itself, than if you are the one who kills. Let's face it, you are still a beginner, and there were four of them. It did you a favor by killing them.'
`A favor...' I said, grimly. He was being logical once more, yet still too cold for my liking. All I could think of were the screams of the bandits. I despised their kind, but I did not want them to die like that. I felt, not even they deserve such a terrible fate. It made me feel helpless that I could not prevent this, and the pain of that was slowly eating me up. There was nothing I could do, but hope that the next time I would be stronger.
`In time, you will improve.' Doorn told me. `Regardless what weapon you choose in the end, you will be able to fight off four-five bandits at a time with ease. Your skill will be greater than theirs. You will also have your magic to aid you against unfair odds. In time, you will not need the demon's aid.'
`I hope it will be soon.'
`It won't be. Before you came here, you never held a sword in your hand, that is very obvious. It will take a long time for you to reach such skill. Yet, you must test yourself constantly.'
Then he told me to choose another weapon. I picked the quarterstaff, and we continued my training.
*
Months passed, and he trained me in the use of a large variety of different weapons. Various swords, staves, maces, warhammers. Every few weeks he sent me to hunt bandits to test
myself. Each time, I managed to kill one or two of them, and then the demon surfaced and took the rest, leaving me filled with guilt. Their screams were burnt into my mind...
After a year and a half, I finally managed to kill a group of three bandits without the demon surfacing. I was training with a most unlikely weapon at the time: a flail. It was a one-handed weapon, yet I had to wield it with both hands, as it was very heavy for me. Before I could kill even a single one of those three, they disarmed me. I was left unarmed, and with a sudden thought I pulled out my dagger from my belt. The dagger that Carrie had given me.
With it, through swift movement, using magic for protection, I somehow managed to kill all three. To this day I can hardly believe that I did it. When I returned to Doorn and told him what had happened, he was very pleased.
`Nice work, my student! Now the time has come for you to train in the use of the dagger.'
I understood and accepted his decision, and so he trained me in the use of the dagger. He taught me moves I never would have intuitively used, moves I couldn't even imagine. When it was time for my next test, I once again defeated all my opponents without the demon surfacing. When I returned to Doorn, he told me that perhaps the time had come for me to choose a weapon to master. He said that wielding the dagger felt natural to me. While the dagger is a weaker weapon than most others, in a skilled hand it is lethal nonetheless, and he urged me to begin my advanced training with it. But I felt there was at least one more weapon that I wanted to try.
`My sword, am I correct?' he asked.
`Yes. I wish to try that weapon as well.'
`So it shall be.'
He gave me a sword like his own. A katana, he called it. Not quite as magnificent as his own, but nevertheless a beautifully crafted, razor sharp weapon. It was meant to be one-handed, but like the flail, I could only use it with two hands.
He showed me basic moves, which did not differ much from the moves with other swords. Yet the katana moved somehow different than other swords. It all felt... natural. As if this sword had been designed to become an extension of one's arm, rather than just a weapon.
When my basic training was complete, he sent me out to hunt bandits yet again. I had to return with mixed feelings...
I was attacked by a group of six bandits, five swordsmen and an archer. I used magic for protection, and decided to try and take out the archer first. But the swordsmen had me surrounded, I could not get to the archer.
Somehow, I was able to kill two of them with the katana, and I was feeling the blade more natural to me than any other weapon I ever used. Then, the archer hit me.
In the heat of the battle, I did not pay enough attention to my magical shield. It wore off, and an arrow pierced my chest, just barely missing my heart. It was painful, and I fell on one knee. I quickly renewed the shield, but it was too late. I felt weak, perhaps dying. Then, the demon surfaced from me.
From then, it was like any other time. It killed them, ripped them apart, and retreated into the depths. I passed out from the pain, but when I awoke there was no wound on my chest any more. The demon had saved me once again... and I loathed it for it.
I returned to Doorn and told him what had happened. Again, despite my expectations, he was pleased.
`You have, for the first time during your training, fully given yourself over to the fury of battle. You experienced what that is like, and now you know that with all its boons, it can be disastrous if you do not pay attention. Do not let the battle fury overwhelm you if you are in a vulnerable position! Always remember that! But also remember how battle fury can help you, if you give yourself to it.'
Then, he asked me if I was now ready to choose my weapon.
`Can I choose two?' I asked.
`No. You must choose a single weapon. In order to become a true master, you have to allow yourself to become one with your weapon, and it to be one with you. It will never be possible with more than one type of weapon. However, if you wish, I can teach you more advanced techniques with another weapon, to supplement you. But you can only be the master of one.'
`Then I choose the katana to be the weapon to master.'
`Very well. And your supplemental weapon?'
`My dagger.'
Not just any dagger. My dagger.
`So it shall be.' he said, `Now, you should rest. Tomorrow, you will begin your advanced training. You should be well rested for that.'
*
The advanced training was much more intense than I anticipated. I had to learn that those basic moves which seemed so difficult for me in the beginning, were indeed basic, and that there was much more to be learned. Simple thrusts, slashes, and parries were just the start. There were countless complex combination moves to be learned, maneuvers that left me in awe, and strikes that I never dreamed possible.
Years passed and slowly I mastered all he had to teach me. It took me one year to develop a physical strength necessary to wield the katana in one hand, but after that, everything felt so much more natural. As before, Doorn sent me to test myself every few weeks. Each time, I felt I was better than before. Another half year and I was able to dispatch even a group of eight without the demon surfacing from me. Later on I even reached a point where I no longer feared that the demon would surface at all.
Then one day, after many years of training, around seven years after Carrie's death, he told me that my training was nearly complete.
`It is time for you to test yourself one last time, my student. If this test succeeds, I shall have a test of my own for you, and after that, you will be but one step from your goal.'
`What must I do? I suppose this will be more than mere bandit hunting.'
`Indeed. This time, you must face a difficult challenge. One that threatens your very life. A dangerous encounter, where defying your demonic nature can be... difficult.'
`I understand.'
`Yes, I am sure you do. This is what you wanted, after all. To control it, at all times.'
`What must I do?'
`I want you to go out into the nearby woods, which you were reluctant to do for so long. Find a group of werewolves. They are the most dangerous creatures in this area. Attack them, draw their anger, let them gang up on you. They are fierce, dangerous creatures. If you can kill them without changing into a demon, then... Well, let's just say that it is a... very good sign. It means that you now maintain a strong control.'
`Kill them? Just like that? They will not attack me. They don't want to attack me. To kill them like this, without any reason other than to test myself... this is just wrong, Master.'
`Wrong? Even killing werewolves is wrong for you? They are a vicious, killer species. Monsters.'
`They are only predators, they kill to feed, to survive. How can we blame them, how can we judge them, when we kill for much less?'
`Strange. One would expect such views only from elves, at most... But so be it. If you refuse to slay werewolves, then you must travel further this time.'
`Where?'
`East, as before, but this time, do not stop by the road. Continue east, and try to find one of the bandit camps.'
`Bandit camps?'
`Most bandits form small groups and travel constantly up and down the road, from town to town, and sleep in taverns. Some band together in larger numbers. They have camps near the road. Far enough not to be seen, close enough for a raid on the road to be swift. Seek out one of these camps. Kill every bandit you find there.'
`Without provocation?'
`Yes. Do you not despise their kind? Of course, if you want this to be self defense again, then let them spot you. I assure you, if they see you, they will attack you. You will face difficult odds. I am sure that demon inside you will be pleased...'
I felt a strong bit of sarcasm in his words. Clearly, he didn't expect me to have any reservations killing those bandits. Killing them? Assassinating them, practically.
He was still right about one thing: I do despise their kind.
`Very well. I shall
return after the deed is done.'
`Good. Remember, the goal is to defeat this challenge without letting your demon out. Do this, and it will prove that you are almost ready.'
`Almost?'
`When you return, we will see just how ready you really are.'
*
I made a poor choice with the bandit camp that I picked. A very poor choice.
In the beginning it seemed like it would be everything I needed. Just the challenge I required. Inside however, I found much more than I anticipated. Kh'Tal is a world dominated by an everlasting darkness. That magical, threatening, yet beautiful storm cloud covers the sky from dawn till dusk. I should have expected to meet such a creature. Yet in seven years I somehow evaded them all. To this day I wonder how that's possible. There, that night, was my first encounter with such a creature.
When I arrived at the camp, it was almost dusk, and the storm would not last much longer. In the rain, it was easier to infiltrate the camp, so I hurriedly snuck in. Trying my best to stay out of sight, I hid among the shadows of the guard tents by the entrance of the camp. I had to crawl there to avoid being seen, and I had to use a bit of magic to get through the fence.
The camp consisted of five tents altogether. Two very small ones by the gate, which I assumed to be guard tents. Two larger ones in the far end of the fence enclosed area, and a very large one in the middle. I did not see the entrance to the largest tent, so I assumed it was on the far side, facing the two medium sized tents. I assumed that big tent to be the leader's tent.
My plan was to ignore the guards, sneak into the two medium tents one by one, use my magic to seal the entrance, and kill the bandits inside. Then, proceed to the leader's tent and do the same. Finally, deal with the guards.
I snuck into the first medium tent and to my shock I found it empty. It was not completely deserted, however. Equipment lay around all over, but the bandits were gone. I moved on to the next, and found it empty as well. I started thinking what this might mean, and came to the conclusion that they must be out on a raid. Only the guards were in the camp, probably. For a moment I thought of slaying the guards, but then I thought that it's best to leave them be, and sneak into the leader's tent instead. My new plan was to hide there, await the leader's arrival, and fight him one on one when there is no-one else nearby. After that, there should be sufficient chaos in the camp for me to hopefully be able to deal with everyone, especially if they were indeed out on a raid and are exhausted.
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