His children remain however. They bring death and destruction to wherever they go. One such half-demon has killed many... many of my friends. And I have sworn to take revenge.'
`I'm sorry for your loss...' she said.
`So am I.'
`Why do you wish to kill them all, why not just kill that one half-demon which killed your friends?'
`It's the demon that killed. The essence of Th'Mesh. His children are nothing more but carriers of the essence. They cannot control it. There is no controlling it. It surfaces when it wants to, and kills anything it wants against the will of those helpless fools. They can do nothing. Nothing is their sin unless helplessness is a sin. Everything is the sin of the father. It is Th'Mesh alone whom I desire to kill. His children must die only because otherwise Th'Mesh could be reborn in one of them after his death. If there is no-one left, I can kill him and he will stay dead forever. This is what I want. This is the revenge I seek.'
`I understand...'
`There are many of them still alive. I will track them down. One by one.'
`Do you not feel it to be meaningless?'
`It is meaningless.'
`Then why do you do it?'
`Because my life is empty. Inside my soul, there is nothing but emptiness. I have nothing left. Th'Mesh has taken it all. All I can do now... is return the favor and embrace the inevitable end.'
`You could try to seek a new life, you know. Find a new meaning, something to fill up the void.'
I sighed deeply as she spoke out my impossible wish, the desire that can never be fulfilled.
`I wish I could...'
She moved closer to me and looked at my face.
`How did you get these scars and wounds on your face? Was it that demon?'
I could have told her the same lie that I have told everyone else who ever saw the burnt wounds and the scars on my face. Yes, I could have, but I didn't. I don't know why, but I told her the truth.
`The scars and the burns... are not real. It's just an illusion to hide my true face.'
She moved even closer to me.
`Would you show your face to me?'
I hesitated to do what she asked. She had been so good to me, and I somehow felt that she'd keep my secret if at all she'd recognize the face of a man who is wanted for the murder of three mage apprentices in Delamar. I felt that I could trust her. Still, I just didn't know if I should...
In the end, I did what she asked. I broke the illusion and she could see my face. My real face. The face beneath the cover of the face of Doorn. Doorn, who is long dead. Dead by my hand.
She looked at me, and slipped even closer. She moved her lips close to mine, and slowly kissed me. I kissed back. We kissed long, so long that I completely lost my sense of time. Then when she released, she embraced me, and placed her head on my shoulder. She whispered into my ear.
`You have a cute face, Doorn...'
With a sudden thought, I told her. I told her what I never should have.
`That's not my real name...' I told her, using my own voice.
She kissed my ear, and then my face, and she asked:
`What is your real name?'
I remained silent for a while, and she said:
`I'll keep it a secret, I promise. I'll never tell anyone...'
I told her.
`Jason... My name is... Jason...'
She smiled happily.
`Jason... Your name is nice too, Jason... Jase...'
She kissed me again, and then she said:
`I'll keep it in my heart. I'll never betray it to anyone. I promise.'
I moved my lips close to hers in an attempt to kiss her. She did not refuse. She kissed back longingly, passionately. While she kissed me and held me close in her embrace with one hand, she started to undress with her other hand. And I... I did much the same...
*
It was a passionate night. And to fall asleep in her soothing embrace was possibly the happiest moment of my life since the day my existence became a living Hell. It was like a beautiful dream. But it swiftly fell apart...
About an hour before dawn, I awoke. And what a rude awakening it was! The pain in my heart, the same sharp pain that always comes just before I transform into a demon. That pain had come again and awoke me.
I jumped on my feet and stumbled to a nearby tree. I grabbed hold of it with my right hand to stay standing and grabbed my chest over my heart with my left hand. The pain was unbearable.
Inside me, I felt it. The demon wanted to surface. For the first time in several years, it was trying to come to the surface again!
`Why now?' I asked myself. `I've taken so many lives today... Why now?'
Then I realized it...
Flora...
The beast inside me sensed my momentary happiness, and wanted to take it away from me. That's why it wanted to surface so hard! Just as Doorn once said, the demon would come when I least expected it.
`No... I will not let it... You won't take her... I won't let you...' I whispered in front of myself in pain, so as to give myself strength do defy the demon inside me, and to stop it before it would be too late.
I stood at the tree for what seemed like an eternity, but it couldn't have been more than a quarter of an hour. During this time, I fought the greatest battle of my life, trying to enforce my will upon the monster inside me. To this day I do not know how, but I made it. I forced it back. For the first and only time in my life, I forced it back. I forced it back, but just barely.
I felt for certain that I would not be able to keep it back like that a second time...
It took me a while to catch my breath after this awakening. But I knew what I had to do.
I gathered my things as silently as possible, hoping she would not wake up. Then I silently walked away. I briefly thought of leaving her a message or something, but in the end I chose not to. I didn't want to risk even another minute beside her. I knew that the next time the demon would try to surface to claim her, I would not be able to hold it back. She could not have possibly survived the demon's onslaught on her own.
I had to leave, fast. I had to leave, or else she would have died. I didn't want that. I wanted her to live...
So, I left her. I left her, knowing that she'd hate me for it, but at least she would live. Beside me, only death would await her. Far from me, she is safe. I knew this, and so I left her. I left Endarryn behind me for all time. I left, and never looked back.
I often thought back to that night later on. To what would have happened had I not accepted Shayeld's offer. Perhaps he could have found another man to represent him, and perhaps they could have prevailed, perhaps Flora would have survived just the same. But knowing what we faced, and how stubborn she'd been, it is more likely that they all would have died, and justice would have been left unserved. Yes, that is what's most likely. Sometimes I think even this would have been better. For me, definitely. For her... Sometimes, I think for her too, as cruel as it sounds. But who am I to judge, who am I to take claims over what would have been better for her?
I am just glad that she lived. She gave me her trust, her caring... She was good to me, and she gave me happiness, if only for such a short time. It was like a dream, a wonderful dream come true, for us both. But then it all fell apart...
Face to face
Gatestown, Ess'yer, present day (2 years, 3 months, and 4 days before Twilightfall)
`You have a lot of explaining to do, old friend!'
She speaks old friend with audible disgust, but she stays true to the promise she made to me back in the day. She does not speak my true name aloud. I slowly walk to her and lean close to her ear. She startles at first, but she doesn't move away. She knows my cautiousness is well justified. In this town, even the walls have ears.
I whisper it into her ear. The truth.
`Do you remember when I told you of the demon-spawn that killed my friends? That demon is me!'
She slowly moves away from me, looking at me in disbelief.
`It's not a joke, Flora. I wish it was just a bad joke, but it is not. Sometimes I'd like to think that it's just a bad dream, but it's not. It is reality. My nightmarish reality... It is the truth, and it is this truth that made me leave that night. You were in grave danger, and I could not protect you.'
`No. No! I refuse to believe it. It cannot be true!'
`It is.'
She shakes her head.
`No way, I'm not buying this bullshit! You're making it all too convenient for you...'
`There's nothing convenient about it!' I interrupt her rudely. `You can't imagine what it's like for me! What it's like when it happens. What it's like to be locked inside that monster, and forced to watch as it... takes what it wants! Every time that happened, a part of me died. Until at one point, there was nothing more left in me but emptiness. It is the curse of my very existence! It's what makes me walk my path always alone. What makes me... ride... alone...'
Flora opens her lips to reply, but before she could speak, he enters the tavern. An aged, gray haired wizard, wearing a white wizard robe bearing the markings of the Supreme Council. In his hand, the ebony staff he always carries with him. On his face, a mixture of various expressions: anger, frustration, hatred, disappointment, impatience.
Jenathar...
Flora stands in surprise, silently, staring at the archmage.
`Good evening, young lady! I would like to speak with your friend face to face. Please, leave us!'
`Go, Flora! We'll speak again later...'
She turns to me, and I see how surprised and shocked she is. She can barely believe what is happening. Does she understand? Does she see what is about to happen? I don't know. But she surely suspects it...
She slowly regains her composure, and nods her head respectfully to Jenathar, then walks towards the door. Before stepping through, she turns back to me, and says:
`Don't even think about trying to slip away! I'll be watching you, do you hear me?'
In her eyes, I see the unspoken complaint: How could you sink so low as to work for such a bastard like Jenathar?
She does not yet realize what is happening. No matter, it's going to end soon, and then she will see the truth.
As she closes the door behind her, Jenathar turns to me with a mischievous smile, which does not fit to him in the slightest.
`Did you get on her bad side, Jason? Bad thing, that. I hear she's a fierce huntress, and it's not good to be on her bad side...'
I break the illusion, remove my hood, and look him in the eye. The smile immediately vanishes from his face. Is it the sight of my worn face, a face that looks so much older than it should at this age? Or is it just the look in my eyes, that discomforts him? Perhaps both...
`So, Jason, you have finally returned to me... It took you a long time. I was starting to think you'd never come...'
`You took long to get here, too. I thought you'd sense my arrival in Gatestown sooner.'
`I did. I was only waiting for that madman to leave...'
`What's the matter? Are you afraid of him?'
`Not as such.' he frowns. `However, he is quite insane, and therefore he's completely unpredictable. Even more so than that reckless bloody black magician best friend of his, and he's unpredictable enough as it is... No, it's better off for us to talk now that this lunatic is far away from Gatestown.'
`Whatever...'
`Yes, well... I must say, it is astounding how far you got without being stopped. I have many agents throughout the land, yet none of them warned me of your coming. I do so wonder how you made it all the way here unseen.'
`I had a little assistance.'
`Is that so? From whom, if I may know?'
He wants enlightenment. So be it, I'll give it to him.
`Meliorath. In person.'
He raises an eyebrow upon hearing my response.
`The Dragon Queen herself? In person? She is here? In Ess'yer?'
`Surprised?'
`A bit. So, she is ready to strike. It is closer than I had thought. A pity she did not learn her lesson a thousand years ago, when she and the other Dragon Lords met their doom.'
`Perhaps her unexpected return to the world of the living has something to do with her confidence.'
`Confidence? Arrogance, rather. But no, it lies deeper. Those like her will never stop, and there will always be someone to take their place should they fall.'
`Like you...'
He sighs deeply at my comment.
`A pity you feel that way. It only shows that you don't understand anything that happened. I will help you understand before we do what we must, I owe you that much.'
`I'm not here to talk. I don't care for what you could say.'
`Yes you do, you just don't want to admit it. Deep inside you've always wondered what drove me to do what I did. Kurt has told you of me and our past, has he not? Then you must surely wonder about the whys...'
`You're just trying to stall time.'
`No, I don't need to. You would. All I have to do is snap my fingers and a dozen of my most skillful followers will teleport into this room. Together, we will defeat you regardless of what you are capable of doing. Even in your demon shape, you can't defeat us alone. Your fate is sealed. If you want it to end so soon, so be it, but I would rather that you understand why you must die before it comes to pass.'
`Spit it out, if you're so eager to talk! It will change nothing.'
With a frown, he begins to speak.
`Simply the fact that you're here justifies everything I've done. But let's not rush ahead of things. You have heard the story of how I learned the art from Kurt, how I was his only friend when the whole world sought his death, and how I broke free from the limits of his tutelage. I saw the great turmoil that the world fell into after the Great War. I wanted to change that, and I had to learn that there is only one thing that can do so. Power.
Kurt didn't think I had it in me to control more power than he allowed me to obtain, so I walked away and became my own teacher. Then, my power grew and in time I became Supreme Councilor. I finally had the power to change things in Ess'yer. I helped make this world become a better place.
It was I who helped the newly founded mage guilds of Delamar rise to prominence. It was I who made mage hunters illegal. It was I who helped magicians become an accepted part of society. It was I who unveiled the truth about the pathetic sects that worshiped the Elemental Princes as gods, it was I who enlightened the commoners. And it was I who made sure that peace in Ess'yer persevered despite all the tensions that have been trying to tear it apart.
I had great power and it allowed me to accomplish many great things for this land. Yet, as I grew old, my power began to fail me. Still my power is immense, but I am long not at the peak of my power. And those around me have noticed.
Sewareld Worriil in particular has been smiling for a century. He knows that I have lost much of my power, and that soon I will be too weak to stop him. He's been scheming ever since, and just a few days ago his schemes have reached a new height.
He sent his lackeys after a warrior blessed with a natural born power over magic and cursed by the inability to access even the slightest fraction of his own power. A terrible curse, that. I should know... Worriil's minions killed him and took his skull, a skull bearing an ancient rune of power.'
Ildardque...
`They think I don't know.' he continues. `But I still have eyes and ears in Re'Cas. I know what they are doing. They have prepared a magically enhanced skeleton body from the bones of fierce creatures. The body is humanoid, but is over seven feet tall even without a head. It has been almost complete for a long time now, it was only missing the skull. Now, they have a skull. With the skull, they will create an undead creature of untold power. A Death Knight, as they call it. A walking nightmare...
The soul of the fallen warrior will be forced to serve Worriil in this skeletal body for the rest of eternity.'
; Now I know why Eric Shyrn wanted Ildardque's head so bad, why he hunted the outlaw himself.
It doesn't matter. It is not my concern what they will do. Th'Mesh and Jenathar are my concern. Them and them alone...
`He is just the beginning.' continues Jenathar. `He will be the general of an entire army of undead warriors. Then they will wait for the right moment and they will kill me. Then, amidst the gap in power in Delamar, they will use whatever tactics they find best to weaken and eventually conquer Delamar. And then everything else in Ess'yer...
That will be just the beginning. A prelude to even greater destruction. For after the war, after Sewareld and Shyrn were victorious, Meliorath will descend upon Ess'yer to strike down the lesser races, knowing how much the war had weakened them. Who knows if Worriil's army can stop the dragons at that point. Regardless which of them prevails, the damage will have been done, unparalleled devastation will have swept across the lands, and the surviving tyrant will reign supreme over all Arghard, enslaving all survivors under their rule, reigning over a desolate wasteland.
I will not let that come to pass...
Already a century ago I have foreseen that Worriil would try the unthinkable. I knew I had to stop him. That's why I brought such a horrible sacrifice.'
`Sacrifice?'
Surprisingly, his face turns sad as he continues.
`Yes... Elaine Vogan. When I sent her to infiltrate the Cult of Th'Mesh, I knew she would perish in the end. She never knew. She trusted me, but I just couldn't tell her. I was afraid she'd try to abort the pregnancy, and I didn't want that risk. She was so talented, the greatest of her line. You only inherited a fraction of her magical skills. She was... something special. But I had to sacrifice her. There was no other candidate but her, no-one else I could trust with this task...'
`You sent her to her death.'
`Yes, I did, but I live with the regret of having done so. What of you? You, an assassin, you who kill people just because they're in somebody's way, do you feel regret when you kill these people?'
`Long ago, I did. Today, I don't. Not any more. I feel nothing when I kill. Nothing at all...'
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