Emptiness
Page 29
`We are finished for today, I think.' says Worriil. `Let us now return to our duties. We shall worry about Jason Vogan when he is found, and executed.'
My fellow Councilors leave, and I am left alone with the thoughts of my troubled mind. Sewareld thinks too much of himself, he acts like he was in control of the Council. Ha! If anyone should be in control, that should be me! He relies too much on his henchman, this Eric... Mark my words, Sewareld! Eric Shyrn will cause your demise yet...
Day after day I feel that I grow ever more weary of the shady politics of Re'Cas... Had Jason not escaped me fifteen years ago, everything would go as I desire by now, and I would not have to trouble myself with these four ignorants and their subordinates!
Damn you, Jason! This is all your fault... But don't worry! You'll soon make up for it. I know well that you won't rest until you kill me. Therefore you will return from Kh'Tal sooner or later. And then... I'll have your power, and with it I shall be unstoppable! I will slay every tyrant out there, end every war, and bring a lasting peace everywhere. I shall crush all who threaten to oppose the peace I would bring... There will be no more wars, no more tyranny. Arghard will be a world of eternal peace, and I shall be its immortal guardian.
I... shall be the god of Arghard, and all shall bow before me!
Beyond destiny
In the space between the Planes, present day (2 years, 3 months, and 4 days before Twilightfall)
Soothing darkness...
Soothing darkness surrounds me...
It takes but the fraction of a moment, but I catch this moment and enjoy it in my mind. Half a moment ago I stood among the burning ruins of Gatestown, half a moment later I'll be standing under the sky of Kh'Tal. For now, I am here, between the Planes, with Flora and Aaron but an arms reach from me.
Do they feel this? Do they enjoy it like I do? Do they feel through this fractional moment of tranquility? Or is it too short for them to catch this fraction of a moment? Do they even take notice?
I do. That's all I know.
In this fraction of a moment, a train of thought runs through my mind. Thoughts of what I've gone through over the past fifteen years. A wonder of the mind, that such a lengthy train of thought can pass through it in such a short time.
I think of what I've just done, and all the things that brought me to do it. I think back to fifteen years ago, to when I first changed, when the demon killed Carrie, and I tried to take my own life in despair. Then all that followed. My training, the battles I fought, all the people I killed. All the losses I've endured, the sight of my mentor dead at the hands of the demon, and the realization that killing was in fact all I could do to keep the demon at bay. The realization that whatever I would do, I cannot escape this, that the creature is so much a part of me. The anger I felt when I understood this. The anger over having been denied a normal life. The wrath, the desire for revenge.
I think back to all this and wonder, do all these things justify my actions? Does it justify what I did, all the lives I took, all the destruction I brought?
Who's to say? Does it at all matter? It is done, there is no turning back, and nor would I even if I could. I will finish what I started, or die trying. Either outcome will be just fine.
I have no regret over what I did. I do feel regret that it had to be done. I regret that this was the only way. I regret that I had to do what I did. But I do not regret that I actually did it all.
Indeed, it was the only way. My life has been Hell, and I long for it to end. I know that even if I do find release, I will die, so I could have just taken the easy way out and killed myself. But that would have been a meaningless death. I wanted my death to have a meaning, if my life could not have one. So, my only option was to do what I did in the end.
I regret nothing I did, I have no compassion enough left in me for that. I have no compassion at all. I am empty. Or am I?
I feel a measure of worry for Flora, and even for greedy old Aaron. I hope they will survive having met me, that their lives will escape having been touched by me. Is this compassion? I do not know. Even if it is, it is all that there is left.
As I see it, my life ended fifteen years ago, when the demon first surfaced from me. Since then, I've roamed the land as an undying revenant. I know what Kurt Aurach told me of the demon, of how it makes me nearly immortal. Even knowing that it was the demon's strength that brought me back after my foolish attempt at suicide, to me it felt like it was something else. A subconscious desire to exact vengeance for the death of Carrie, and the death of the man I was. It felt like this brought me back. That this made me return, into some unholy existence. An undying revenant. Not living, but not able to die. Not until I fulfill my revenge. The revenge I've subconsciously desired all along, and took me seven years to truly understand. Even this revenge I seek only to find peace at last. To ascend beyond my destiny, the destiny that was forced upon me at birth by Jenathar and Th'Mesh, that of becoming a demonic creature. I want to ascend beyond that, to leave it behind, and find peace at last.
Peace is all I seek, but peace I shall find only in death...
Like it or not, I am forced to accept one thing that will never change about my wretched existence, regardless what I do.
I am, after all is said and done, precisely what my namesake suggests I am. I bring death wherever I go, whether I like it or not.
I am the Rider of the Black Horse...
Cast of characters
Key Players:
Jason Vogan: half-demon, child of the Demon Lord Th'Mesh, former apprentice of Supreme Councilor Jenathar
Flora E'Lyn: elf hunter, elite member of the most renowned elven hunter guild of Endarryn
Doorn: former magician turned warrior living a hermit's life, Jason's mentor
Kurt Aurach: the most powerful black magician Arghard has ever known, hero of the Great War, Jason's mentor
Aaron Chraem: dwarven merchant, renowned smuggler
Jenathar: Supreme Councilor of Delamar, Jason's former mentor
Sewareld Worriil: Supreme Councilor of Endarryn, Eric's mentor
Eric Shyrn: Commander of the Enforcers, right hand man and second in command of Sewareld Worriil
Drabangar: ancient powerful magician, guardian of the Amulet of Darkness
Shayeld E'Lyn: elven merchant, Flora's brother
Carrie: apprentice of Jenathar, Jason's former lover
Gaxev: human mercenary, head of a mercenary guild in southern Delamar
Lyour: Supreme Councilor of Uldath
Khargun: Supreme Councilor of Ordhiar
Achmor Dahnir: Supreme Councilor of Arudden
Meliorath: Queen of dragon-kind, leader of the Dragon Hordes
Ildardque: human outlaw, friend of Richard Dane
Richard Dane: human mercenary, friend of Ildardque
Zack Sands: black humored black magician and professional asshole, Daniel Keehmor's best friend
Daniel Keehmor: warrior turned semi-insane fighter-mage, Zack Sands' best friend
Coming Soon:
Rider of the Black Horse
Part II: Monsters
So, I hunted them. I sought challenge after challenge, beast after beast, prey after prey. I've enjoyed hunting them. Sometimes they wounded me greatly, brought me to the brink of death, but I still enjoyed the hunt. I finally found a meaning in my life again, through a form of hunting I never practiced or even desired to practice while I was a wood elf. And now, I am content with my new life. I've accepted what I am, and grown to like it. If my people could see me now, they'd call me a monster. Indeed, that's what I've become. But it can't be undone, and then why is it bad that I've come to like what I am? They may judge me, but I care not. Not any more. I am no longer one of them, no matter how much I'd have liked to be. And I have accepted it by now. A monster I may be, but I'd rather be a monster with a meaning in life, than live a life with no meaning whatsoever. - Flora E'Lyn, 1 year, 3 months, and 20 days before Twilightfall
Volume Two of the Rider of the Black Horse
pentalogy, Monsters continues the story of Emptiness. Jason Vogan has returned to the world of Kh'Tal in the company of Flora E'Lyn. While he plots a new plan to take retribution for the horrors he had lived through and for the lives he had taken, a terrible fate befalls Flora in Kh'Tal, changing her life forever. Meanwhile in Re'Cas, Councilor Worriil prepares to initiate his plans of conquest in Ess'yer, and only Councilor Jenathar stands in his way. As Jason and the vastly changed Flora travel to Re'Cas, the threat of a large scale confrontation begins to build up which threatens to bring about a dark age for the world of Arghard. We are a little over a year away from Twilightfall...
Footnotes
... Monster1
From the Liquid Monster album (2005) by Brainstorm (2005 line-up: Andy B. Franck, Thorsten Ihlenfeld, Milan Loncaric, Dieter Bernert, Andreas Mailänder).