by Lisa Harris
“I know you will be fine, I’m just worried about your meeting tonight and the emotions that it’s going to dig up.”
“I appreciate that, really, but I need to do this. I know I have to let go and let God take over,” Madison said. “At least, that’s what I’m trying to do, but surrendering has never been easy for me. I like being in charge. I like figuring out solutions to problems, but sometimes”—she let out a whoosh of air—“sometimes that desire isn’t enough. The truth is, I’ll never be able to change what happened, no matter how much I want to.”
Danielle raised an eyebrow. “You’ve learned you’re human?”
Madison chuckled. “A human with more limitations than I wish I had.”
“And if you never find out who murdered Luke? What happens then?”
“I’ll have to make sure that doesn’t stop me from living. Because while this isn’t the route I expected to take in life, I’m tired of living as if I died that day as well. It’s just so . . . so hard sometimes.”
“Sounds to me like you’ve taken another step forward.” Danielle rummaged through a drawer for a pie server and pulled one out. “What does that mean for you and Jonas?”
Madison shrugged. “Honestly, I’m not sure. I’m still trying to figure out how I feel.”
Danielle furrowed her brows. “It seems pretty obvious to me,” she said. “I know I’ve teased you a lot about him, but how could I not, with your standing Friday night dates?”
Madison snatched a washcloth off the sink and started scrubbing down the already clean counter. “He kissed me on the rescue boat.”
“Wait a minute.” Danielle set the pie server on the counter and stepped next to Madison, forcing eye contact with her sister. “He kissed you?”
She nodded. “After he pulled me out of the water.”
“And?”
She closed her eyes for a moment, wishing she hadn’t brought up the kiss. Wishing she could forget it herself. “He’s in love with me.”
A wide smile spread across her sister’s face. “Then what’s the problem?”
“Working together and trying to juggle a relationship is more than I’m ready to take on.”
The timer went off on the oven, interrupting their conversation for the moment. Danielle grabbed the pot holders, then pulled the pie out of the oven.
“You know I support whatever you decide,” Danielle said. “I just want you to be happy, but something tells me if you’re honest with yourself, you feel the same way he does.”
“Maybe, but I can’t think about Jonas right now.” She leaned against the counter while Danielle turned off the oven. “Right now, I’m just trying not to get my hopes up that Edward really found a break in the case. Because every day I look in the mirror and see the scar on my abdomen. I don’t know how to get past that.”
“Do you know anything about Edward?” Danielle asked.
“Not really. I’m picturing Columbo with a trench coat.”
“I’m just praying he’s able to bring you the closure you need.”
“Me too.”
The doorbell rang.
Danielle squeezed Madison’s hand. “I’m going to slip out the back, unless you need me to stay.”
“No, get back to your family.” Madison pulled her sister into a hug. “Thank you.”
“I’m always here for you.”
“I know.”
Madison smoothed down her pants with her hands, then headed for the front door.
Edward Langston definitely wasn’t what she’d expected. The older man looked like he worked out on a daily basis. Definitely not a frumpy detective in a trench coat.
“I’m glad to finally meet you, Madison,” he said after she’d invited him and Jonas in. “Though I wish it was under different circumstances.”
She smiled. “Thank you for coming.”
“Are you kidding me? I think I’m getting the better end of the deal. Dessert and conversation with an interesting woman. At least, that’s how Jonas describes you.”
She drew in a deep breath, trying to ignore her racing pulse. “You might have to share what else he’s said about me.”
Edward laughed. “You might be more interested in the stories I could tell about him.”
“Edward . . . ,” Jonas warned with a grin.
The tension in her shoulders eased slightly. Not that the rest of the evening was going to be easy, but maybe she would be able to unpack some of the stress she’d been carrying while also finding some answers. Maybe she’d be able to find a way to put the past behind her and move forward with Jonas.
She led them into the living room. “Jonas did tell me that you were quite the jokester.”
“My late wife used to tell me I didn’t have a serious bone in my body, but reality was I needed something to help me shed the stress of things I saw every day.” Edward sat down on her couch. “You know how it is with this job. With all we see, sometimes those one-liners are the only things that keep you out of the funny farm.”
“I understand all too well,” she said, sitting down on a chair across from him. “I suppose we all have to find our own ways of coping with what we see. And I’m sorry about your wife. I didn’t realize she’d passed away.”
“Three years ago this fall. I miss her every moment of every day, but we had forty wonderful years together. At least I did.” Edward let out a low chuckle. “She had to put up with me for all that time.”
Madison smiled. “I doubt that was the case.”
“Oh, I know I drove the woman crazy. She always told me I needed to think about retiring or starting a new career, but I told her I’d never find another job where I’d get paid to drive fast, shoot guns, and play hide-and-seek.”
Madison cleared her throat, her gaze shifting to the file he held. “I thought we could talk in here. And once it cools down, I’ve got a fresh cherry pie waiting for us.”
“If it tastes as good as it smells, I’m in. Though you didn’t have to go to any trouble.”
She waved away the compliment. “The pie’s my sister’s donation to the cause. I’m always amazed how she finds time to bake with three kids in the house.”
“Women are amazing creatures. I know my wife was,” Edward said. “Though your partner here isn’t too bad either. I heard the two of you just brought in a couple wanted felons.”
Madison looked up at Jonas, hoping the awkwardness between them would eventually disappear.
“They almost made it to the Canadian border,” Jonas said, shifting forward in his seat at the other end of the couch. “And not without a couple close calls along the way.”
“But that’s not why we’re here,” Edward said.
Madison clasped her fingers together on her lap. “I don’t know how much Jonas has told you about my husband’s case other than the files he gave you.”
The atmosphere in the room shifted again, bringing back some of the tension she’d felt earlier.
“He gave me the CliffsNotes version of your story. Said you’d been working for five years to solve your husband’s murder, then you were shot three months ago, presumably by the same person.”
Madison nodded.
“I truly am sorry for your loss, and for everything you’ve gone through,” Edward said. “I know what it’s like to lose someone you love, though thankfully, my Sadie went peacefully in the night. I’ll always be grateful for that.”
Edward cleared his throat, then pulled out a pen and a yellow ledger with notes scribbled across the front. “I know the last thing you want to do right now is relive that moment, but I do have some questions I’d like to work through.”
Madison rubbed her palms down her legs nervously. “Of course.”
“I’m wondering about the ring found near your husband. According to the case file notes, it wasn’t his.”
“Correct.” Madison nodded. “They never could establish if it was a part of the crime scene or just lost by someone else in the parking garage.”
“That makes sense. W
hat did you find out about the ring?”
She took a deep breath. “Um, it’s one worn by gamers, something my husband definitely was not. And it was custom made.”
Edward wrote a few words on his legal pad, then looked up at her. “From what Jonas has told me, you’ve always believed that Luke was killed because of one of his patients. And that his death was staged to look like a robbery.”
“There have been numerous theories, but that’s the one I always go back to.” Her gaze dropped to her hands. “I guess I’ve never wanted to believe he was just killed over the twenty dollars in his wallet.”
“I can understand that. And something had to have motivated the shooter’s behavior for them to have come after you again.” Edward paused. “Can you tell me what you’d been working on related to your husband’s case just before the break-in here?”
“I’d been frustrated, actually. For a long time. I felt like everything I did was simply spinning me in circles. So I would start going through everything again, starting with the ring.”
Edward leaned forward. “That’s interesting, because it’s the ring that has kept niggling at me.”
“Why?” Madison asked.
“I’m not sure. People lose rings every day, and it’s not too far-fetched to think it was simply too loose and fell off while someone was getting out of their car or something.” Edward sat back on the couch. “But neither do I believe in coincidences.”
Jonas shifted in his seat. “So maybe Madison was getting too close to the truth.”
“Maybe,” Edward said. “I started going through the list of people who died in the hospital who had received care from Luke. Tried to find a connection to the ring. I interviewed a woman who makes custom rings for gamers. It’s a small but viable niche. She gave me the names of a dozen other designers who also make them, but I wasn’t able to track down conclusively who made the ring. At least not yet.”
“I came to the same dead end,” Madison said. “That specific piece of jewelry is from a video game called Night Crawler, but I was never able to track down the owner or the seller.”
Edward blew out a short breath. “I need to ask you one more question.”
“Okay.”
“Did you ever consider the possibility that your husband wasn’t the target?”
Madison fidgeted with the ring on her right hand, suddenly feeling like her nerves were being stretched tighter than a rubber band. She didn’t like the change in the conversation, because as much as she wanted answers, the truth could also be terrifying. That was a road she didn’t want to go down.
“Yes. It was something we looked at, but it just led to more dead ends.”
“In the file notes, it mentions that Luke was driving your car that day.”
“He was. His was in the shop. I had my partner pick me up.” Madison hesitated. “You really think I could have been the target?”
Edward nodded. “Thanks to a friend of mine who owes me a few favors, I was able to get a list of your case files.”
She pressed her lips together. “Okay. What did you find?”
Edward paused before speaking. “One of them stood out. I’m sure you remember Thomas Knight?”
Madison nodded. She’d arrested Knight for murder, and in turn he was sentenced for life. He was only eighteen years old. She’d never been able to shake the frustration of what happened that day. At eighteen, Thomas had his whole life ahead of him, but his freedom had been wiped out in a series of bad choices.
“I did some research on Knight.” She mentally flipped through her old memories of the case. “He was a gamer, and he dropped out of school his senior year.”
Edward nodded. “Do you know anything else about him?”
Her mind brought up the information automatically. “His mother was out of the picture. Negligence, from what I heard. He had a sister, but she was younger and lived with an aunt. He’d been on his own since he was sixteen. The whole situation was tragic.”
Madison struggled to put the pieces together. Had she been so close to the situation that she’d missed going far enough down that road? “So you think that whoever shot Luke was trying to, what . . . punish me for arresting him?”
“I think this could be about more than just his arrest. Thomas Knight was killed in prison. I think you were targeted because you were the arresting officer and Luke’s murderer blamed you.” Edward leaned forward again. “I can’t prove any of this yet, but did you know that the video game Night Crawler uses a black rose as a symbol of death?”
Madison’s insides turned cold. She glanced at Jonas, whose expression looked as conflicted as she felt. “No.”
“They are placed on the graves of victims,” Edward said.
Her mouth went dry as her mind fought to move in that direction. “If your theory is true . . . Luke should still be alive. I should be the one who died that day.”
Edward held up his hand. “I know what you’re thinking, Madison, but I don’t want you to go there. None of this is your fault. You have to know that on some level. There are things in our line of work that we can’t control. This is one of them.”
She nodded, but the sick feeling that had settled in her stomach only continued to spread. “So what do we do now?”
“Let me keep searching. See if I can find out more.”
“I’ll go get the pie,” Jonas said, standing up abruptly. “You two sit here and keep talking.”
She noticed a look pass between the two men, but there were too many other things swirling around in her head at the moment.
Edward waited until Jonas had left the room before he spoke again. “You know, I’ve solved a couple dozen cold cases over the past few years, and I’ve sat across from people who, like you, hope to find out the truth. And what you need to know is that when that day comes, no matter how hard you’ve fought for it, or how bad you wanted it, the truth will both bring closure and stir up the pain again. Unfortunately, that’s normal.”
“I know.” Madison leaned against the back of her seat, pulling her legs up beneath her. “Just when I think I’m about to move past it, something seems to bring things to the forefront.”
“Like the break-in?”
She nodded.
“I truly am sorry for the loss of your husband, and for what happened to you, but no matter the outcome of this investigation, I don’t want you to blame yourself.”
“Easier said than done.”
Edward set his notebook on the end table next to him. “When Sadie died, I kept going over every detail round and round in my head. What if we’d gone to the doctor sooner, or gone to a different doctor? What if I’d made sure she ate better, or took more supplements? But the truth is, as intentional as I was about taking care of her, there was nothing I could have done that would have prolonged her life. Sometimes, we just have to thank the Good Lord for bringing blessings into our lives, and then when it’s time, we have to let them go.”
Tears filled her eyes. “Sometimes I feel like I’ve managed to move on, and then out of the blue there will be a reminder, and I feel like I’m reliving that day all over again.”
“I understand. I truly do. But I know this too: whatever the truth is about your husband’s death, it wasn’t your fault,” Edward said. “I also know that eventually, if you don’t let go of the guilt, you might one day regret missing what’s right in front of you.”
Madison glanced toward the kitchen. “Jonas.”
Edward nodded.
“What did he tell you?”
The older man grinned. “Nothing, but I see the way he looks at you. And at the same time, I know how hard it can be to move on. About six months ago, I took an old friend out to dinner. She and I have known each other for thirty-odd years, and yet I never once imagined myself loving anyone other than Sadie. It took me weeks to come up with the courage just to ask her to dinner.”
“And?” Madison asked.
“Turns out I haven’t laughed that hard in years. I realized I wa
s smiling again, and it was okay. So while I’m not going to presume to know what you feel about Jonas, I can tell you that loving Ruth doesn’t change my love for Sadie. I know it’s what she would have wanted. In fact, I can’t help but think she’s smiling down at me, because I’ve finally decided to start living again. It just took me a long time to figure it out.” Edward lowered his voice. “You can’t let what was taken away from you stop you from living again. Bottom line is that I’ve learned that life doesn’t always give us what we expect, but God does heal the brokenhearted. And even if Jonas isn’t the one for you, don’t stop holding on to that promise.”
THIRTY-ONE
Jonas parked his car at the bottom of Kerry Park where Madison had asked to meet him, then started up the stairs, wishing he didn’t feel so nervous about seeing her again. The last time he’d seen her was three days ago when she’d kissed him on the cheek, thanking him for introducing her to Edward, then said good night. He’d gone home, unsure of what she was really thinking. Or if he’d managed to completely overstep the boundaries he’d worked so hard to keep between them.
But his heart had crossed the line, and there was no going back.
He knew that talking with Edward had been difficult for Madison. Her mind had to have been swirling with memories of Luke and what had happened the day he was killed. Which was why he’d promised to give her time. If he really loved her, he owed her that much. He’d been worried about her reaction from the first moment he’d spoken to Edward, but he also knew that each step closer to finding closure meant her finding healing as well. And that was all he hoped for. Not just because he wanted a chance at a relationship with her, but because he truly wanted her to find healing.
Which was why he’d decided to turn down the offered training with SOG. He’d passed his interview yesterday, but the timing seemed off. He wanted to be there for whatever Madison needed in the coming days and weeks, and that wasn’t something he could do if he was off the grid training for the next month. There would be another chance to volunteer for duty with the Special Operations Group. Now just wasn’t the time.
She was standing on a patch of grass, overlooking the iconic view of downtown Seattle with the Space Needle as the sun set and the city lights began to appear. A ferry was crossing Elliott Bay, and the late-evening sky was clear enough that they could see the silhouette of Mount Rainier. A perfect background. Perfect night.