by Vivian Arend
“Hey, I haven’t got them all yet.” She tangled her hands in his hair and pressed their mouths together, and all the splinters in the world weren’t enough to distract him from finding a condom and pleasing his mate all over again.
And again. On the bed, in the shower. Heck, they barely got supper cooking before his wolf prompted him to press her to the tabletop and take her from behind. The fragrant aroma of tomato sauce filled the cabin, the water for the spaghetti noodles boiled unminded in the pot as he pounded into her. Pam’s shouts of encouragement took them both to the edge quicker than he wanted. Every slide into her body nudged her farther into his heart. She reached back and grabbed his hand, threading their fingers together. He slowed and pressed his front to her back, twisting her head to the side to be able to stare into her eyes.
“This is real, Pam.” He thrust forward slowly, gazes locked together. “You, me. Together like this.”
She tightened her fingers.
Another rock of his hips. Another time being squeezed by her body so tight he could barely breathe. But it was the expression in her eyes that took his breath away.
So much hope, and so much fear. His wolf howled and he fought back the urge to claim her completely. Beat down the desire to take charge before she was ready. TJ closed his eyes and held on to control with a fine thread. All the while, they moved together.
It was probably the only thing that saved him. Pam’s willing presses against him as she rose to meet his thrusts calmed his wolf. Gave him the chance to ease the beast back and return to his human control once more. He tucked one hand around her torso, one hand between her legs to help her along, rubbing her clit in time with their joining until he felt her tighten under him, her orgasm grasping him in waves. He buried himself in her and let his restraints go, wishing with all his heart she was ready to accept all of him.
Forever.
“Another list?”
TJ took another couple of slow paddles, directing their canoe toward the bay they had selected. Day four, and time was slipping away too rapidly. The afternoon sun sparkled around them, the setting as idyllic as any picture postcard, but he felt a sense of urgency he’d never had before in the wilderness. Proving they were mates was like proving to a child the sun would rise in the morning. Facts could only explain so much before you had to let go and trust. “You can put your paddle away and I’ll let you take a peek. Oh, and you can turn around. I’m going to drop anchor while we fish.”
Pam tucked away the paddle and carefully lifted her legs over the gunwales as she rotated. The long line of bare skin showing below the edge of her shorts made his mouth water, and he stared off into the bush and thought of nasty things to divert his mind.
When the canoe stopped rocking he checked to make sure she was seated comfortably, then passed over the papers he’d had stashed in his pocket. She unfolded them and smoothed the creases. “The mate list. Which one are we going to do today?”
“Complementary interests.”
She stared at the paper and he wondered why she looked so sad. Why the burst of pleasure he felt from her faded so quickly to something close to despair. His connection with her had leveled out over the past two days, and he doubted it would grow any stronger until they actually made love without protection and he marked her as his. What they had now was like a shadow reflecting the real connection he considered possible. It was there, undeniable to him, but he ached for more.
Pam put on a happy face and refolded the paper, tucking it into her back pocket. She glanced at the second sheet of paper still lying in her lap and laughed. “Oh my God, are you expecting me to write an essay or something? I’m on holidays. I’m not into reports right now.”
“Hell no, those are topics to discuss. See, most mates I know have common interests. Robyn and Keil, you should see them on the slopes. They’re both totally insane skiers when they’re not leading a group. Erik and Maggie are both classical literature buffs.”
“So you think we should have a bunch of interests in common?”
She settled into the bottom of the canoe and adjusted her lifejacket so she could lean back on the front seat and use it as a backrest. Her long legs stretched out into the center of the craft, and TJ eyed them with longing. He sighed. No. While he’d been more fortunate than usual with his clumsiness so far this week, fooling around in a canoe would not end up a pretty picture.
“TJ?”
He caught her eye and stumbled for words. “I was staring again, wasn’t I?”
She blushed lightly, then tossed her head back, her dark hair bouncing around her shoulders. “I don’t mind. But back to the question…”
“I think we could have things in common, or we could be like Tad and Missy—they often have interests that when you put them together you get something that fits. He makes things out of wood and she enjoys sewing. Together they’ve made all kinds of gifts for the pack, like baby cradles and receiving blankets, and decorative wall quilts and hangers to display them on.”
Pam nodded slowly. “They complete each other. You think we’re going to have matches like that?”
“Over the past couple days as we’ve talked I think I’ve heard a few things, but I don’t want to skew the results and use those as an example. So you pick one item, think of an answer but before you tell me what you would say, I’ll share mine.”
She grinned as she examined the paper. “This could be fun you know.”
Her mischief-maker persona was back. God, he loved it when her eyes got all sparkly and her face lit up. It made it easier to breath. Made the whole of his soul content.
He baited the hooks, added a bobber and cast out the line, passing the first rod to her before setting up his own. Fishing was a great opportunity for long conversations.
Pam ran a finger down the list before glancing at him, an innocent expression plastered to her face. Not. “Okay—what’s your favourite sport for exercise?”
Easy. “Running.” Mostly as a wolf, but that still counted.
She snorted. “Mine is baseball. Well, that one works, we can play fetch together, right?”
He flicked water at her and the boat rocked lightly as she laughed.
“Number two. Favourite thing to do to relax?”
TJ gripped the fishing rod firmly in lieu of reaching for her. “My new response would be to make love with you, but before this week I would have said make music.”
The flash of desire in her eyes was unmistakable. “Stop.”
They stared at each other. Her pulse pounded in the hollow of her throat and he ached. “What’s your answer, Pam?”
She licked her lips. “I was going to say listen to music.”
Yup, she could try to deny it, but there was more and more evidence to prove they were meant to be together.
Her fishing rod quivered and she scrambled upright, the paper falling unminded to the bottom of the canoe. He laughingly coached her through reeling in the fish. For the next two hours they floated and fished, releasing all but one of the rainbow trout while they worked their way through the entire list he’d prepared. By now the paper was wet and smelled like fish, and when the time came to turn the canoe back toward the dock Pam had nothing but content emotions streaming from her.
“You relax, I’ll get us home.” He paddled hard, eyes on the water occasionally. Most of the time his gaze caressed her body where she leaned back, arms resting easily on the gunwales as she glanced around at the nearby mountains.
“I can’t believe someone gets to live here for more than a holiday.”
“The summers are fabulous, but in a remote location like this they don’t stay all winter, and winter comes early in the North. My friends usually use this cabin from May to August, then they have a place farther south for the rest of the year.”
He stroked evenly, wondering why it was far harder than usual to keep the canoe headed in a straight line. It was too clichéd to think looking at her made him weak with desire.
“When does
the helicopter return for us?” Her eyes were closed as she spoke, the lazy contentment still emanating from her. TJ relaxed from the instant alert her question had raised.
“Around two o’clock, three days from now. We’ll get dropped off in Haines, and we’ll have to get a lift back to Maggie and Erik’s. The tour you were supposed to take will be done by noon.”
She laughed and leaned forward to wrap her arms around her knees. Her dark eyes sparkled at him. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
Pam pointed around. “For this. I know we’ve still got unanswered questions between the two of us, but I wouldn’t give up this experience for anything. I like this much better, being quiet and remote. It’s far more my style than the daily routine of traveling with a tour group.”
TJ stuttered for a second in confusion. “You signed up for it. That first day you said I had no right—”
She raised a hand. “I know, I was wrong. I went along with Maggie’s suggestion because I didn’t see any other possible way to experience the wilderness in a short time. A single female, traveling alone, just isn’t smart. You did okay when you kidnapped me. You really did know a little bit about what I truly needed.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re comfortable with it now.”
Her soft smile teased him. “You’re comfortable—in a completely unsettling and life-unraveling way.”
They laughed together easily and TJ drew in a deep breath of the crisp air. Hope stirred.
He switched paddling sides to give his arm a rest. They were closing in on the dock but he’d never found a canoe to be so awkward and slow to maneuver.
Pam trailed her fingers in the water lazily, ribbons of waves streaming out on either side of her fingers. Three days left to make a difference. TJ wondered briefly what chaos was happening back in Haines, but he’d pay that piper when he had to. Now they had a rainbow trout to enjoy for supper, and the evening stretched open before them.
From the expression in her eyes she had a few ideas of how they could spend their time, and he’d be a willing participant in anything she planned.
They arrived at the dock and he held firm to the decking as she scrambled out. All the equipment came out one at a time until he looked around for the anchor.
Pam burst out laughing, gesturing behind the canoe. “Are those greens to accompany the fish for dinner?”
He swung his head to see a huge mess of lake weed gathered behind the boat. “Where did that come from?” He scrambled onto the dock and followed the line of her pointing finger. “Oh shit. No wonder it was so hard to paddle.”
Pam lay on her belly on the deck to grab the anchor rope. She pulled, hauling up the weeds and the anchor he’d neglected to bring in, instead trailing it behind them the whole length of the lake.
He sighed. Yup, two steps forward, one step back. At least it was better than tipping them over.
TJ sat on the steps of the porch, plucking the strings of the old guitar they’d found in the storage closet. Every day since she’d discovered he was a wolf, he’d played for her. She’d grown to anticipate the quiet time to sit and think. Today more than ever she needed it. Tomorrow would be their last full day together before the helicopter returned. Pam curled up on the porch swing and watched the sunset. They faced the lake straight on, and the glow rising behind the western mountains painted the entire scene in shades of tangerine and gold. Streaks of light shone on them, and she smiled when TJ’s dark colouring lightened as a brilliant flash of pink lit his torso.
The gentle tones of the guitar washed over her. She closed her eyes and rocked dreamily, reveling in her situation. A full belly, a glass of wine at her elbow. After-dinner music. Life couldn’t get much better.
She had slight aches and pains from the various activities of the past days. True to his word, TJ had let her try out all kinds of outdoor experiences, including a madcap kayak trip down the nearby river.
Also true to his word, some of her aches were from the very frequent and extremely pleasurable hot wolfie sex they’d been enjoying. And for the past day, every time he grabbed a condom from their dwindling supply she’d been close to telling him to forget it…
It was official. She was going mad.
The kidnapping was no longer an issue. They had become good enough friends it was actually kind of difficult to remember this wasn’t what she’d signed up for. She had questions that remained, but her lurking suspicion was when the week officially came to an end, she would be reluctant to leave him behind and head south to resume her normal routine.
The change in her mental processes bewildered her.
“That was a big sigh.” TJ examined her closely, his dark eyes peering into her soul. “What deep thoughts are making you so sad?”
Shit. The relaxed peace faded a little. There was such a short time left before their ride appeared to return them to civilization, and she still didn’t know what to do. “Thinking about everything you’ve shown me. You know, the mating list and all.”
He strummed softly for a minute, the light melody from the finger-picked strings floating around them. He meant to soothe her, she was sure of it, but as the now-familiar tune he played filled her ears and her heart, tears threatened. It was the same song he’d sung to her at the wedding, with eternal love and new hope all tied up in it.
She wanted more and more to believe.
TJ leaned back on the upper porch railing. “There’s this older couple who run the Chilkat Bakery in town. Both human. I think they said they’ve been married for fifty-five years.”
Pam glanced at him with suspicion. Where was this going? “So?”
He placed the guitar aside and joined her on the swing. “You ever seen a couple like that? Married for so long, they seem to read each other’s minds?” He wrapped a hand around her neck to massage the tight muscles. “They seem to know exactly what the other person needs at any time.”
“Are you saying humans can have a mating connection? I’ve never heard that before in my life.”
“Okay, maybe it’s not exactly the same thing, but it must be fairly close. I’ve seen it. They know each other so deeply they anticipate each other’s thoughts, and needs. That’s what it’s like for wolves—the only thing that seems to be different is how quickly it happens. For wolves, it’s instant. In humans, I’ve seen it in couples who have been together for a long time.”
Pam bit her lip. Frick. Again, him with the logic. She couldn’t fight logic, and yet the ball of fear in her belly didn’t want to disappear.
“What are your parents like?”
She turned toward him. Yeah, he knew all the right buttons to push, far better than any person she’d met before. Not even Maggie had asked about her family that quickly. “We’re divorced.”
TJ’s face fell. “Shit.”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, so I guess they’re not a great example.” He stopped and stared at her for second. “Hang on, what do you mean ‘we’re divorced’?”
Pam dragged a hand through her hair. “They got divorced when I was about ten, and proceeded to make my life miserable. They both screwed up holiday plans to get revenge on the other. They fought over me like a dog with a bone, but when they had time with me they ignored me, or seemed to begrudge the fact they had to expend energy on my stuff.”
“By the time I was sixteen I’d had enough. I divorced them and went to live with my gramma who was completely disgusted with them both. She passed away when I was nineteen. I’ve been on my own ever since.”
She said it simply, a statement of fact. Taking control of her life ten years ago at such a young age had been hard, but she’d had to do it. It had been the right thing, she was sure.
TJ kissed her temple softly, then nestled her under his arm. He linked their fingers together and rested their joined hands in his lap. “Do you ever see your parents?”
She shook her head. “And it’s not because I’m hiding from them. Honestly, I’m not bitter or wishing them ill any
more. I cut the ties and decided I was responsible for my own happiness. They just don’t seem to give a damn. I think I remind them of each other or something, and they hate each other with a vengeance.” She shrugged.
He grimaced. “So telling you stories about human happily-ever-afters…”
Pam leaned back on him and sighed. “Sheer fantasy. Werewolves are a whole lot more believable.” A whole lot more desirable as well, from what she could tell. TJ appeared to know exactly who he was and where he stood. Had he gained that confidence from being a wolf?
TJ stroked her fingers gently with his thumb. “I’ve had the pack around me all my life. While I get razzed a great deal for being clumsy, they’ve always supported me. My brother, my friends, heck…everyone.”
“You’re not clumsy.”
He laughed out loud. “Okay, there’s another topic for discussion. Umm, yes, I am. For some reason I’m not nearly as bad when I’m around you.” He nuzzled her neck. “That ‘you complete me’ thing.”
She slapped him lightly. “Get out. I think you’re like a puppy coming into his growth. You should have seen the trouble my first dog had—”
He groaned. “Can we make a deal now that you don’t compare me to your previous dogs. Please?”
A snort slipped out. “We’ll see.”
She twisted to stare at him. His earnest expression stole her heart.
“Pam, can you give me a clue here? Have I persuaded you at all what I said is true? That we’re mates?”
Her fears and doubts scrambled to stay above the undeniable bond between them that grew stronger every moment she spent with him.
“Can’t you tell what I’m thinking with that wolf connection of yours?” She couldn’t speak over a whisper, the effort of pushing the words out enormous. She wanted to believe, wanted it so very much.
He surprised her by lifting her into his lap and tucking her head against his chest before setting the porch swing rocking. He surrounded her with his arms as if pulling a shield of protection around them. “I sense all kinds of things from you, and yet your emotions are so jumbled I can’t understand. Fear, longing, sexual need. At times I feel as if you’re about to announce you love me. The next minute you’re planning to tell me goodbye and expect I’ll drop you at the airport and let you go without a word of protest.”