We sat there discussing Derek’s day and all the crazies he’d run into this week on the job. “I suppose working in a smaller town you have less of that?” Derek asked Rex.
He snickered. “I have to admit, it’s been pretty busy since Sara came to town.”
I picked up a throw pillow and lobbed it at him, then took a long pull on my beer. “None of this is my fault!” I said. That was all I had for a comeback.
“Yeah, you never ask for trouble,” Rex offered, placing the pillow next to him.
“She wants the dock and pontoon in now,” Derek told him.
“Oh, boy,” Rex said.
“I just think it’d be a good day to get it done,” I said. “Neither of us have anything going on, and Derek’s staying here for the next two nights, so why not?”
Rex shook his head and finished his beer. “Well, you two let me know if you need another set of hands. I have the morning off tomorrow. Thanks for the beer and insider information. I’m going to go home and process it.”
We all stood. Derek shook Rex’s hand. I hugged him. “Please let me know if anything else happens … or if the cannon fires again,” he said.
I laughed and closed the door behind him.
Derek and I settled on the couch for a movie. Afterwards, I put the bottles in the trash. We’d each drunk three more. I realized that when I stood up. Derek did too. He followed me to the kitchen.
“Room spinning for ya?” he asked as he pushed me up against the island counter.
“Lil’ bit.”
“Hmmm, hope it’s not too bad,” he said as he moved my hair to kiss my neck. “I hope you remember this in the morning.” He bent over and scooped me up and carried me to the bedroom.
Yay! I hope this is memorable too! I thought as he turned off the light.
8
I woke to Pepper licking my hand in the middle of the night. I guess we’d kind of forgotten about letting him out before bed. I looked at the clock—1:35 a.m. I got up and followed Pepper halfway down the hall before I realized I was naked. Oh, well. That was the nice thing about living in the country. I flipped on the outside light and opened the door to let Pepper out. I watched him fade into the darkness of the backyard, looking for the perfect spot. When it seemed to be taking longer than normal, I opened the door and called quietly to him.
He didn’t come. He always comes. I stepped out on the stoop and was pretty sure I saw his tail wagging behind Derek’s Jeep. “Pepper, come!” I whisper-scolded. He wasn’t coming. Lord, please, I thought, do not let him have a skunk or a porcupine cornered. It was freezing out, and I was losing patience. “Pepper, don’t make me come get you!” Quickly, I jumped down the porch step and tippy toed to the back of the Jeep, to see what he was wagging at.
“AHHHHH!” I screamed.
“Aaaaaaarrrr!” They screamed. Three pirates huddled together behind the Jeep. All three of them stood up quickly. They looked scared. Or at least two of them did. There were in full outfits and two had binoculars hanging from their necks. All three were men. One looked young, probably in his early twenties. One of them yelled, “Retreat!” The two older ones took off down my driveway. The young one stood there stunned, staring at me. That’s when I remembered I was still naked! Shit! I quickly covered myself.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded, more angry than scared.
“Shiver me timbers …” he slowly said in awe. “Fer an old wench, ye gots very nice …”
“Long John, get yer arse moving!” The young pirate snapped out of it, and ran down the driveway after the other two. I didn’t see a vehicle, but I watched until they were out of sight.
Pepper sat down next to me and watched too. Some watchdog he was. His size was scary but other than that he was apparently pretty useless. I rushed back to the house still covering myself. Pepper walked solemnly behind me. He never ran. He’d had hip surgery a couple months ago, and I’d met him shortly before that. So I didn’t even know if he could run. I stood at the door whispering to hurry up, shaking from the cold.
“What are you doing?”
I nearly jumped out of my skin! Derek’s voice came from right behind me. Now he’d scared the shit out of me! I screamed a long, terror-ridden scream. I screamed harder at his voice than I did at the sight of the pirates.
“FUCK!” I said, “You scared me!” His eyes were bugging out of his head. I think my reaction scared him, too.
I grabbed him and hugged him. I was cold and frightened and angry. I buried my face in his neck and breathed heavily. He uncomfortably put his arms around me. “What are you doing? Were you outside naked?” he timidly asked.
“Yes,” I told him and let go of him. “I need a robe!” I almost yelled. Running down the hall to the bathroom I grabbed my robe, and threw it on, then returned to the living room. Derek was still standing there in shock.
“I woke up,” he said, “and you weren’t there! And I thought I heard voices.”
My heart was racing, and I was still shivering. I pointed sharply at the door and scowled, “There were three pirates in my yard!”
Derek pressed his eyebrows together. “So you chased them away, naked?”
“Yes!” I said. “Well, no, I mean, I didn’t know they were there! Pepper had to pee, and he wouldn’t come back in, so I went out to see what was keeping him and found him behind your Jeep looking at three men dressed as pirates. They were hiding behind it!”
“The ones from the ship?”
“No, I didn’t recognize these guys. They looked like they were spying on the ship. They had binoculars!” Dang, I was amped up.
“Okay. Okay,” Derek reached out and pulled me in for another hug. “Did you see a car?” he asked, holding me.
“No, but they took off down the driveway.” I thought about it for a second, they didn’t really seem dangerous, but it still upset me that they were on my property, and that they’d seen me naked!
“Do you want to call Rex?” Derek asked. “Or do you want me to go out and see if I can find them?”
“No, you don’t have to go out. I’ll call Rex in the morning. I don’t think they’ll be back. But it was scary.”
“It was probably pretty exciting for them,” he teased. “Come on, streaker, back to bed. And you, Pepper, could we get a bark or something?” he scolded.
I headed to the bedroom. Derek locked the door and left the porch light on. I pulled on shorts and an old t-shirt and climbed back in bed.
* * *
In the morning I woke to pots and pans clanging. Derek was making breakfast. I decided to wait on the shower until after the dock and pontoon were in the water.
We ate and then got dressed in warm clothes. I still had my dad’s waders from when we took the dock out last fall, and I owned knee-high boots now. I guessed Derek would have to get in the deep part.
Outside we dragged all the pieces over to the lake. We stood and stared at the ship for a few minutes. There were three people aboard. One looked like Aunt Val. They seemed busy and didn’t notice us.
I asked Derek, “Have you ever done this before?” He shook his head.
“But you took it out last fall. Can you remember how to put it back together?”
“Yeah … probably.” I looked around at the four pieces of dock and all the poles and hoped I would. “Umm, maybe we should call Rex.”
Derek looked annoyed. I wrinkled my nose and shrugged. Then I ran back to the house for my phone.
When I returned Derek was putting the dock together like a puzzle on land and asking if I had a pole pounder thing.
“Since I don’t know what that is, I’m going with a no.” I smiled again. He shook his head again. I could tell he really didn’t want to be doing this today, but I was glad he was.
“Rex’ll be here in fifteen minutes. Wanna go fishing later?” I asked, trying to lighten the mood.
He shook his head again. “No, opener isn’t until May, and I’m not feeling the greatest. I’ve got a headache.”
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t know that.”
“I took something, so hopefully it’ll go away soon.”
We waited with our waders on until Rex got there. He pulled in and parked behind Derek. After he grabbed his waist-high waders out of the back of his truck he waved and headed in our direction. When he walked past Derek’s Jeep, he stopped and bent over to pick something up. It was long and looked like a stick.
“Lose something?” he asked as he approached. He was holding it up. I knew right away it probably belonged to the pirates. It looked like a mini telescope.
“Aye, me spyglass!” Derek said. I shot him a surprised look and he raised one eyebrow.
“What?” I asked.
I laughed as Rex handed it to me. He looked at me with squinty eyes and waited for an explanation.
“Ha, ha … funny story,” I started.
“Ah, yes, yet another,” Derek smirked.
“We had visitors last night. I was going to call you, but it was like 1:30 in the morning. And I scared them away,” I told him.
“Yeah,” Derek said grabbing a piece of the dock and sliding it up to the water. “She scared them, all right. I mean, if you were hiding behind a Jeep and a naked woman and her giant dog came up on you, you’d run too and never return, right?”
I shot Derek a shut-up look and turned my eyes back to Rex. His eyes were bulging out of his head. He seemed stuck between anger and laughter.
“I was trying to get Pepper back in the house. I didn’t know someone was out there, and I wasn’t expecting to leave the house, but Pepper wouldn’t come, so I had to go and get him. They took me by surprise.”
“What the hell? What were they doing?” Rex asked, seriously.
“I think they were spying on the ship. Two had binoculars, and obviously one must have dropped this,” I told him. “They ran away when they saw me. They were dressed like pirates, too.”
Rex shook his head. “What’s wrong with people? This is a bigger deal than I thought.” He looked at Derek.
“Man, I can’t help you.” Derek gave him a palms up. “I have no idea what I’d do if this were my jurisdiction. I mean, the ship and cannon are questionable, and now we’ve got trespassing.”
“Yeah, I checked on the ship. It’s licensed, so it’s fine to be there as long as it’s not breaking any laws that apply to any other water motor craft. As far as the cannon goes, black powder cannons do not need any licensing or permits to buy, own, or shoot. They’re not regulated or subject to the provisions under the ATF, GCA or NFA. So shooting them is legal as long as it’s blank loads and doesn’t interfere with any city noise ordinances. And, technically, this lake is out of city limits so those ordinances may not hold up.” Rex looked stressed.
“Well, that’s great,” I said with a laugh.
“Did you get a good look at the guys last night?” Rex asked me.
“There were three, two in their thirties or forties—they ran off quickly—and one in his early twenties. They called him Long John. I got a good look at him. He was nice looking. He seemed pretty harmless, but then again, he was a grown man dressed as a pirate.”
“Long John? Ha! That’d be my pirate name too, if I were ever a pirate,” Derek said and winked at me. I was pretty sure that comment was more for Rex than me. “Long John was a little stunned by her nudity and took a few seconds longer than the other two to run away,” Derek said with a nod and grin.
Rex smiled a closed-lipped smile and shook his head.
All this head shaking, ugh. What must people think of me?
“I want to know if they come back. They have no right to be on your property,” Rex told me.
“Yes, sir!” I said.
“All right, let’s get this dock set up,” Rex said and pulled on his waders.
Roughly an hour later the dock was secure. And then came the task of putting the pontoon in. “So, Sara, can you still remember how to back up a trailer?” Rex asked.
“Probably not.”
“Ah, you’ll do fine. We’ll help you hook up the trailer, but you get to back it in.”
Derek tossed the Jeep keys at me. I hadn’t even realized he grabbed them. We walked up to the house, and I got in my little red Jeep and had a talk with her. Now, listen here, Lil’ Red, it’s just us girls against Derek and his black Jeep and Rex and his big tough black truck. We got this, but please help me out. Let’s not embarrass ourselves, I pleaded as I rubbed the dash.
Backing up to the trailer went fine. Derek hooked up the pontoon, gave me a thumbs up and an approving smile and nod. Then he jumped up in the boat and sat in the driver’s seat.
I drove across the yard and made a big circle next to the makeshift access by my dock. I remembered to look out the back window and not at the mirrors like Rex taught me last fall, and I did it! In one try I backed into the water. I was so proud! I looked out the window to my left and smiled at Rex. Yes! He gave me a nod and mouthed, “Good job.”
I opened my door and jumped out not realizing that I’d backed up that far and landed in calf-deep water. I was moving away from the open door smiling at Rex. I slid in the mud and fell backwards, hitting my head hard on the floor of the Jeep. Everything went black.
It was bumpy, and I had a really bad headache. When I opened my eyes, I was looking up at Derek’s face. It was full of concern.
“She’s waking up!” he said quickly. “Stay still. Are you okay?” he asked. He was holding my head in his lap and it took me a second to remember that I had fallen. I reached up to touch my sore head. “No, don’t touch. It’s bad. I’m trying to stop the bleeding.”
I looked around, still confused. We were in the back of Rex’s truck. I was on my back with my head on Derek’s lap by the passenger-side door. As Rex was driving, he looked through the rearview mirror at me with concerned eyes. “We’re almost there!” Rex said. He was on his cell phone, describing me to what I assumed was the ER.
I closed my eyes again. My head hurt so bad. Geez, I’m such a klutz! How embarrassing. I must have looked like a fool, so excited one second and knocked out the next.
We got to the hospital, and Rex pulled into the emergency unloading area. Derek opened the truck door, and nurses were waiting for us.
“Are you able to sit up?” one asked.
“Hmm, I think so.”
Rex opened the driver’s-side rear door. When I sat up, I was face-to-face with him. “Go slow,” he said gently. His caring eyes made my heart soften, and I wanted to cry. I reached up for my head and could feel Derek still holding the cloth against it. Slowly, with the help of Rex and Derek, I got out of the truck. Two nurses waited, and one had a wheelchair.
“Sit,” she told me.
I did. I was really dizzy. Derek let me take over holding the cloth on my head and followed me in.
“I’ll move my truck and then catch up with you,” Rex said.
We went straight through the ER doors and into what looked like an operating room. I moved from the chair up to the table and lay on my side. An older male doctor entered and asked for the update. There were four nurses now, and I could feel people touching me. People were saying my name, age, how it happened, time, loss of consciousness and other stuff I didn’t understand. The blood pressure cuff was tightening, my bed was tipping up, and someone was covering me with a warm blanket. The nurse said to let go and removed the cloth slowly from my head. All of the nurses, the doctor and Derek leaned in to look. I heard moans and gasps, so it must have been bad.
Derek wrinkled his nose and clenched his jaw. “Stitches for sure,” he said with worried eyes.
I looked with concern at the doctor. He said, “Wow, you did a good job here! How did this happen?”
“I fell,” I said strained.
“Looks like you’ll need stitches and fluids. It’s a deep cut and judging by the sweatshirt, it looks like you lost a lot of blood,” he told me. “We’ll get an IV started and get you something for the pain. I imagine you’ve got a nice he
adache.”
“Yes, I do.”
“All right, well you just lay there and rest and we’ll get ready.”
There was a voice from the doorway. “I have a visitor for you.”
I nodded when I saw Rex, and made a quick mental note not to nod again in the near future. He came in and Derek gave him the update. Rex came over and rubbed my shoulder.
“How are you feeling?” he asked leaning over to look at the exposed wound.
“Not good.”
“Ooh, geez. At least the bleeding’s slowed. You bled a lot!” he told me.
The nurse walked past with a large blood-soaked sweatshirt, the one Derek had on earlier. I looked back at him and noticed he was in just a t-shirt now.
“Sorry about your sweatshirt,” I said to him. He leaned down and kissed my forehead again.
Four hours, two glasses of orange juice and three cookies later I was feeling a little better. I had eleven stiches, and was missing a one-inch-by-four-inch section of my hair. The doctor had insisted we shave some of it. The stitches were under some of my hair, but I’m sure it was still noticeable. Derek and Rex tried to reassure me they could hardly tell.
We made it back home in one piece around 4:00 p.m. The boys got me onto the couch and then went out to finish putting the boat in the water. When I’d fallen they’d just pulled the Jeep forward so the trailer was out of the water and left it there.
After that was all taken care of, they came in. Rex said goodbye and headed off to work his shift, and Derek made us supper. I ate some, but it hurt my head to chew. I helped clean up a little then took some more pain meds and crawled back on the couch. We watched another movie, and just as it was ending the cannon fired again.
BOOM!
9
I woke up to blurred vision and a bad headache. I was on the couch, covered up. There was a note on the coffee table from Derek: Ran to town for food. Be back soon.
That poor guy. I was so bad about getting groceries. I’ve never liked getting groceries, and I didn’t enjoy cooking, and I had money to go out to eat, so why bother? I didn’t mind baking, but I wasn’t very good at it. Most of the time the things I made were overcooked or undercooked. They were rarely perfect. Except cookies. I had mastered the chocolate chip cookie.
Destroyed and Detained Page 6