by Katie Wright
"True." She glanced around the bar. "I think I'm going to go find Mickey, ask him if he wants to dance."
"Okay." I was somewhat surprised by Jane's actions because I always felt that she didn't want to be around Mickey. Sometimes knowing, as it usually is for me, someone likes you and you're not as interested as maybe they are kind of freaks you out. But Jane is always honest and never a bitch unless the guy became a total stalker.
Looking around the room I tried to concentrate on the fact that I was not once again alone. I was though and I felt that pitiful stare coming from the bartender. He gave that look again but I thought better and was about to place my hand over my cup when someone snatched it from me.
"She'll have another one of these and I'll have a Miller draft."
I was about to turn at the bastard that wanted me drunk but then I felt the light headed effects and slight nausea from consuming more than I could handle.
"Hey." I turned to look at my assailant finally. Damn why did it have to be him? Didn't he hate me or something?
"Don't you hate me or something?"
Casey looked at me and kind of gave a disdainful smirk. He handed the bartender the change and refocused on me. "I never said I hated you."
"But you said I was a bitch." I knew I was being blunt but I didn't care. I love alcohol.
Now what was he going to say?
"Being a bitch and hating someone for it are two different things."
"That doesn't even make sense," I practically yelled myself off of my bar stool.
"Well I don't hate you and that's all I'll admit to." He started to drink his beer, fast.
"Shouldn't you be taking your time? How many have you had already?"
He downed the rest of it. "I don't know how many have you had?" He looked through his empty beer cup and placed it on the bar.
His very quick glance at me had me realize how drunk he was. It wasn't obvious at first by his quick remarks but I could see it in is eyes. His eye lids were low and he practically was squinting through them.
"You're not a bitch really," then he pointed to the dance, "There's a bitch."
I looked to where he was pointing. Ah, blonde bar ho. Yes now I understood.
"So what is she your girlfriend?"
He blew out a puff sound which vibrated his lips. And I thought I was feeling tipsy.
"Guess not?" I assumed.
He shook his head, "Hey barkeep can I get another one of these?"
The bartender looked over at Casey then me. I don't know why I did it but I shook my head 'no.'
"Sorry buddy," the bartender put a white napkin on Casey's cup, "You've been flagged."
Casey looked ready to pounce on the bartender, "Fine fuck you!"
He dropped himself off of his stool and started walking. I didn't know where and my cousins were no where to be found. Neither one of us would be able to drive the other home. God why did things like this happen to me? So for some reason I followed him outside.
"Where are we going?" I asked once I finally caught up to him.
He turned around angry with me, "She wasn't my girlfriend, but what the hell she dumps me to be with another guy." He turned back and started walking down the street. I was praying silently he wouldn't get any louder I didn't want the neighborhood by the bar to call the police.
I grabbed onto his arm to stop him. I had more use of my facilities than him. It's funny how fear sobers one up.
"Hold on, how about we go back to my car and you can sleep or whatever until someone comes that can take us home?"
He seemed to be listening to me, "Well we can go to my car it's roomier."
"Okay." What was I doing going with him alone in his car?
We came up to a large SUV.
I couldn't help myself. "How do you pay for gas?"
He looked at me dazed. He shook his head and took his keys out. Hitting a little button on the key chain lit the inside of the car up.
He opened the door to the back and let me hop in first. It was a bit awkward to get my 5'2 frame up into the car but I managed.
I took a seat on the far side. Casey pulled himself in and closed the door. The car darkened considerably and all I could hear was each other's breathing. I breathed a sigh of relief as he chose the back seat of the car. He rested his head down and I guess he decided he would fall asleep.
"I'm going to give Jane a call. I hope she found Mickey." I pulled out my cell phone and dialed her digits. The phone was ringing but she didn't pick up. Most likely she couldn't hear it inside the noisy bar. I left a message letting her know I was outside in Casey's car about a block down and that we were sleeping till someone could drive us back.
"Ha," Casey laughed.
"What?" I said perplexed. What was so funny?
He got up and looked over the seat at me. "You know what people do when they leave the bar and go to their cars. To bad you're too much of a prude to do anything with, even when you're drunk."
"Whoa! Excuse me! I am not a prude!" I should have said I wasn't a slut either but this guy had me all wrong.
"Yeah whatever," and he settled himself back down into his seat.
"You don't even know me." It was the truth he didn't.
"And you don't know me," was his intelligent retort.
"What does that have to do with anything? I never called you a prude."
"But it's the truth I can sense you girls a mile away. You're sexually frustrated from either getting no sex or very little. Then you make fun of all the girls that don't mind acting like whores because they're comfortable with it and the truth is you aren't. You're a tease."
I didn't want to argue with him anymore it was tiring. And he probably was just trying to get me mad at him. I would not cave in. I turned completely around and stared at the front window.
"What? No witty comeback?" Damn him!
I turned back around. "You know you're bitter because some guy got what you wanted but tough shit. I don't wanna be those girls I hate those girls because they have no respect for themselves! I don't even wanna have sex with anyone because there's a good chance they'll be a dickhead like you and why would I want to wake up the next morning next to that!"
"You're such a bitch."
"I think we've already established that."
I was so mad. Why did he make me so incredibly angry? God help me, I did hate him.
I decided that was the end of our conversation and let my head fall down across the seat next to me. I shifted to a somewhat comfortable position. The bar closed in an hour. I was hoping that Jane would be out of there at least before then.
"So you're a virgin."
Oh Jesus Christ. I know I shouldn't continue to say the Lord's name in vain but really I needed his help.
"That's really none of your business," I said quietly but clearly.
"So that's a yes."
"Yes."
Silence.
"Interesting."
I blew out a piece of hair off my face, "Well you think I'm a prude so obviously I haven't had sex."
I heard him shuffle from his position. Somehow his head ended up above mine and he was looking down at me.
"Not necessarily. A prude can have sex but doesn't enjoy it and can't make it good. You haven't had sex and that's the only reason you're sexually frustrated."
I looked up at him. I didn't think he understood anything he was saying. Although I had to admit even though he was a total asshole he had very nice eyes. They weren't blue more like aqua? Maybe it was my beer goggles or the street light reflecting off his eyes but if he had been anyone else I would have kissed him. A random hook up had been in order but I just couldn't bring myself to do it with him.
Was he still looking at me? Were we still looking at each other? I could feel his warm beer tinged peppermint breath on my cheek. I almost thought he was about to move down.
"You have gum?" I asked quickly. My mouth felt stale from the alcohol.
He reached in his back pocket and popp
ed out a small gum piece.
"Thanks."
"Welcome."
I put the small piece in my mouth and chewed. This was awkward. I didn't want to look up again so I stared out the window. My stomach was in knots and I could feel him staring at me. What did he want from me? I offered one last look, bad idea. He started to move towards me. His lips mere inches…
Bam! Saved by the alcoholics!
It was Jane and Mickey and oh it was Brian too.
Casey opened the door.
Jane spoke first, "Heath I don't think we can drive home. We'll pick the car up in the morning. Brian is the only one that hasn't had anything. He offered to take us home."
Thank God! See he did answer my prayers.
I realized I was looking at them upside down. I pulled myself up, "Thanks Brian."
"It's fine."
"Oh Shit! Where's Cara?"
Jane got in next to me and buckled herself in. "Oh she went home with that blonde guy she was friends with at school."
Brian slammed the door hard. I gave him a quick look. What was his problem? He's probably in a bad mood because he was the only who couldn't get drunk like the rest of us. Oh well I wasn't going to start shit now especially after dealing with Casey.
We finally took off home and I think we all fell asleep besides Brian. There were so many things on my mind. My dreams encompassed Casey and a brief scene where Jane and Mickey were dancing together. I was glad it didn't take long for us to get home.
I stumbled into bed and threw off my shoes. If I was lucky I would go to bed without any dreams, especially ones that included Casey in them.
Chapter 4: Try not to Drown
Ever since the bar incident which happened one week and a half ago I have been spending my time writing up resumes for various jobs and sending out applications. I decided not to wait till the end of August because somehow I figured I would have enough money to go to the bars. Sad excuse but I needed a couple nights a month to really have fun. So far I have been extremely bored. I made a commitment to do it and I have. With that out of the way now I could entertain myself with a movie or sun bathe, I hadn't decided which one.
"Hey, Heath," my mom's cheerful voice came from the hallway.
"Yeah?" I call out to her.
"Jane's on the phone!"
Interesting, I didn't even hear the phone ring. Damn, I realized I turned my phone off because of my naps. Yes, I do enjoy taking naps.
"Hey Jane." I was excited I admitted, maybe she could find something for me to do. She usually thought of something to do on these bleak summer days.
"Hey Heath, what's up?" She sounded awfully excited and I started to wonder why.
"Just finished my resumes and thinking of something to do."
"Oh great." What was she up to? "Look I need to ask you a favor since I'm not really sure how to do this?"
"What," I asked cautiously.
"Well, Mickey called today to ask me to go to the beach with him."
Was that a bad thing? I knew right away why she was asking me.
"Let me guess you want me to come?"
I heard a deep breath come from the phone, "Well I think he wants to make it like just me and him but then I thought maybe that was a date."
I started to laugh into the phone.
"It's not funny Heath!" I could tell she was desperate but honestly what did she want me to do? It's my cousin.
"I'm sorry," I said to calm myself down. "So what do you want me to do come with you? Wouldn't that cramp his style?"
"Well," she hesitated; never a good sign. "I kind of told him I already had plans with you."
"Damn you Jane!" I wasn't that mad but put off. I knew I'd end up coddling Mickey's feelings for the rest of the day. Just when I wanted to have fun I was going to have a nervous wreck on my hands.
"I'm sorry Heath. Please don't be mad. But he said it was cool and that he'll bring a friend along."
"A friend?" I wondered.
"Yeah I don't know who but they're planning on picking you up first and then me."
"When?" I was frantic I hated being this spontaneous.
"Um, about fifteen minutes. It took me ten to get the courage to pick up the phone and let you know what happened." She said that a little too fast.
"Well then I guess I need to get ready. See you in a bit." I didn't even wait to hear her response. She never usually made me angry either. But I guess this was an entirely different situation. Mickey was my cousin and Jane was my friend. I guess I was the mediator.
I grabbed my bathing suit and hit the bathroom. Damn it, I said as I noticed my legs. I hated shaving in the sink. I always missed spots and cut myself. I awkwardly placed my leg on the sink and started rubbing shave gel. I finally had a nice lather when I placed the razor shakily on my legs. I cut myself and now blood was running down my leg. I finished as quickly as I could and changed into my bathing suit.
I really needed to work out, I thought as I took a look in the mirror. My boobs weren't huge but they were big. And unlike the girls with smaller chests a girl with bigger ones do have problems. For one thing sometimes your tops don't always fit right and you feel like a porn star suddenly. I grimaced at myself. I had just gotten this bathing suit last year and I was already falling out of it.
"Too late to find something else," I muttered to myself.
I dressed myself in a white tank top and blue shorts and flip flops. I at least tried to cover up the hideousness. Running into my bedroom I threw a towel, sun tan lotion, my purse and another pair of shorts in my bag. I hated having wet shorts on the way home. And Mickey enjoyed leaving the windows down leaving me freezing in the car.
The bell rang and I ran down the stairs.
"Mom Mickey's here I'm going to the beach!"
She popped her head out into the hallway, "Oh have fun! What time will you be home?"
"Um not sure probably around 10ish at the latest?"
"Okay but if you're late give me a call."
I ran up to her and gave her a quick kiss, "Bye mom."
"Bye, love you."
I opened the door and noticed Mickey there, "What the hell took you so long?"
I wanted to tell him I just found out I was going but then remembered Jane would have had a conniption. She was devious sometimes I had to admit.
We walked towards his green Honda Civic. I didn't know if this experience to the beach was going to be enjoyable. Mickey was a crazy driver on the expressway. But maybe sitting in the back this time would blind me from what was really going on up front.
"Here," he opened the door and put his seat up to let me in. I was sitting behind him, great. Now I had no leg room. I know I'm small but in a two door there seems to be even less room. I managed to place my legs over the little bump in the floor.
"Hey." I hadn't even looked at the passenger but I recognized the voice. I glanced up and saw two bright blue eyes staring back at me.
"Hey," I said as cheerfully as possible.
"Alright let's go." Well at least Mickey was happy, all because of Jane. I hoped that the two of them would talk the whole time so that I wouldn't have to. Now that Casey was here I just didn't feel like saying anything.
It took us a total of five minutes to reach Jane's which usually was a good ten minute ride. But like I said Mickey is a crazy driver. I even noticed on the way to there Casey grab the door a few times. Good, at least I wasn't the only one a little freaked out by Mickey's reckless driving.
Then I saw Jane come tumbling down out of her house. She had a bag with her as well. But what was this? Casey was getting out of the car? I surely thought Mickey would.
"Hey Jane I popped the trunk for you," Mickey said out the window.
"Thanks," she said to him. She glanced at me in the back window. She worded a silent 'thank you.'
Then I felt something beside me. How did Casey get back here? This was probably Mickey's stupid idea to have Jane sit up front with her.
"So Jane's sitting up fro
nt?" I tried to ask as casually as possible I didn't want Casey to be offended. I shouldn't have cared but I did.
Mickey turned around, "Well you two are short and she's tall and needs the leg room."
Damn him to hell! I turned and looked at Casey. He was staring out the window as if he didn't even want to be back here with me. Oh I felt the love. He may have been shorter than Mickey but he wasn't tiny. His legs were bent so much so he had little room to maneuver between his seat and the one in front of him. He couldn't even move his own legs over because mine were over the bump preventing him from doing so. He still wasn't looking over although I knew I had been staring at him for a full thirty seconds. Oh well, now I knew he hated me. And why shouldn't he? I've been a bitch to him since we met but he has been a total prick to me as well.