by C. D. Taylor
Something was definitely wrong with this woman; people that were “fine” didn’t act like someone that had a bomb strapped to their chest.
When he turned onto the gravel road that led to the Well’s home, Maggie became more agitated. She couldn’t sit still in her seat, and proceeded to twist the large engagement ring on her finger. Tyler began to feel bad for her, but why should he? She was nothing to him, just some stranger that tried to run him off the highway, and slapped him in the face. The sooner he dropped her sorry ass off, the better.
Five
What the hell was wrong with me? I couldn’t sit still during the rest of the ride, and I felt like I could throw up at any time. The things in my past wafted over me like a blanket of dread. I didn’t want to be back there, I wanted to run as fast as I could and never look back. That’s what I thought I had done when I graduated high school; I never pictured myself coming back here and facing the things that I feared the most.
“Here we are.” Tyler interrupted.
My head shot up and fear filled my body. The house looked unchanged from what I remembered as a teenager. The paint was still chipped, and the shutters were half falling off. The landscape was barren and looked like a fire had torn through the bushes and flower beds. The swing on the front porch was still hanging and a slight breeze set it in motion making it look like a ghost was using it. The thought made chills dance along my spine.
I slowly reached for the handle to let myself out of the truck. I felt a hand on my left arm and jumped.
“Whoa, chill out. Are you sure you’re okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Tyler said.
“I…I’m okay.”
“I’ll get your bags for you.” He offered.
“Thanks.”
I removed myself from the vehicle and set my feet down on the property. A shiver overtook my body and at that moment I felt like I had just set foot in the pits of hell. So many memories flooded back and I felt my knees go weak. Before I slumped to the ground I felt strong arms envelop my waist, pulling me back up. My back was settled against a rock hard chest, and I could feel Tyler’s breath in my hair. He was warm…no, he was blazing against me. I felt safe, secure, and had to admit that I was a little more than turned on.
“Thank you.” I breathed.
His arms wound around and pulled me to face him. I looked up into gorgeous blue eyes and found myself lost. My breathing accelerated and my pulse kicked into warp speed. This man was beautiful, and my body was reacting in a way that made me afraid. I watched him lick his lips, and I wanted that tongue on me, and in me. My mouth went painfully dry, so I darted out my tongue to wet my lips.
Before I knew what was happening, I closed my eyes and felt his warm moist lips touch mine. There wasn’t urgency to his actions; it was more of an exploration. He was testing me, and I wanted to pass the test with flying colors. I opened my lips, letting his exploration continue, and then our tongues began a dance of erotic seduction. My skin came alive, and I felt like I’d been struck by the sweetest bolt of lightning from the heavens. His taste was exquisite, all male, and so damn yummy that I couldn’t get enough even if I tried. Tyler threaded his hands into my hair, and pulled at my scalp, the action sent a shiver of awareness between my thighs, and made me gasp. I’d never been so turned on in my life, or wanted someone with this much ferocity.
I was letting my body take over, and just when I thought I could come undone just from the touch of this man’s lips…he suddenly pulled away. His eyes were filled with regret.
“I’m so sorry…I didn’t…” He whispered.
“Don’t. Okay, it was as much my fault as it was yours. Don’t play martyr on this please.”
“I just…damn.”
“Thanks for the ride Tyler.” I said sarcastically.
I grabbed my bags and headed up the stairs to my hell on earth.
“Maggie wait…”
“Listen Tyler, I’m engaged. It was nothing, just a momentary lapse in judgment.”
The look on his face told me that wasn’t the description he had in mind for what transpired, and truthfully it wasn’t mine either. I wanted him, and he wanted me but I couldn't be unfaithful. I didn’t have it in me to hurt Richard like that. As good as it felt to be in Tyler’s arms; it was for the best that we go our separate ways.
“If you need anything, here’s my number.” He laid a scrap of paper on a wooden post to the porch. “Again Maggie, I’m sorry.”
I watched him turn, and climb into his truck. I felt lost again when I saw him drive away. Somehow I felt safe when he was there, but the dread was beginning to overtake me once again. The horrors and demons of my childhood were lurking just through the doorway, and I was powerless to stop the invasion.
When I pressed the key into the lock of the door, my stomach began to churn and my heart rate went from a soft flutter to a knocking thud against my chest. I felt truly alone at that moment, secluded from the outside world and trapped in a place that felt as if it could burn me alive. I had told myself that I put the past where it should be, and that was where it was buried, but I suddenly knew better. The past was creeping up on me like the sunrise over the horizon, and I was powerless to put a halt to it all.
I had never been so frightened in my entire life as the moment when I pushed the door forward and peered into the dusty interior of my childhood home. The musty smell was overwhelming, and the light snuck through the uncovered windows, highlighting the dust particles sifting through the air. It all reminded me of a grisly suspense thriller, where I was in the starring role. I didn’t want to be there, I wanted to dislodge myself from the nightmare, and run away. I had that choice, but I couldn’t do it, I had to take care of things, and face the fear head on.
I squared my shoulders and stepped through the door. The wheels on my rolling luggage thumped on the hardwood floor as I walked in the parlor area. The knuckles on the hand carrying the luggage had tuned white from the sheer forceful grip on the handle. I tried to steel my nerves to no avail.
My palms were sweaty and my head was pounding to the beat of a thousand drummers in a college marching band.
I wandered into the kitchen, where my mother, father and I would have family dinners, and pretend to be the happy loving family that we portrayed to be to the outside world. The oak table was still there, sporting a ragged table cloth that my mother had made when I was a teenager. She always tried to instill domestic abilities in me, but I was too preoccupied with other things to pay attention. My father wouldn’t let her work outside of the home, so she spent her time cooking, cleaning and trying to be Miss Suzie Homemaker. She would wait on him hand and foot, and still he would always have something to complain about, nothing seemed to please him.
I know my father worked long hours as a ranch hand, and was rarely home but when he was, I was always fearful of what he might say or do. As I got older, I had every reason to be on edge, he was a sick bastard, and I witnessed that first hand. My mother would just sit on the sidelines and turn her head when things got rough, she never once tried to help me, never tried to get me out of our situation. I didn’t fault her for it when I was younger, I thought surely that it was just a phase my father was going through, but I was wrong, that was the way he was, and he wasn’t going to change. Unless someone put a stop to it permanently.
Six
As Tyler drove back toward his brothers’ home, he couldn’t help but think of the kiss that transpired between him and the snobby city girl. What would possess him to want to get even an inch closer to someone like her than he had to? She was beautiful, but there were several beautiful women that passed through his life. She was also attached to someone in the form of an engagement, and what did that say about her character? What kind of a woman would throw an agreement out the window, just to have a steamy moment with a stranger? Could he fault her for it, or was it just as much his doing as hers?
Tyler couldn’t sort out the conflict in his head; it all seemed to run together. He
was nothing but faithful, and despised anyone who went back on their word. His father had taught him that honor, faith and pride were the most important aspects of a man’s existence, but damn that kiss blew those core values out the window.
The feel of her lips were like silk drenched in honey. And the taste of her could rival even the most decadent of French pastries. Even as he thought of that moment when he felt her warm breath mingle with his, Tyler’s cock throbbed. What would it be like to have someone like her underneath him? Moaning and writhing beneath and panting out his name in ecstasy. He really needed to get her off of his mind before his truck took a dive into a pasture just like hers did.
When he arrived back at Jake and Emily’s, Tyler was in knots over the woman that shared a steamy moment with him. He needed to clear his mind of her and forget that as much as he didn’t want to be, he was attracted to her.
He got out of his truck and decided to sit for a while on the front porch, there was nothing like fresh air to provide clarity to a confused brain.
“Hey man, what are you doing out here?” Jake asked.
“Just sitting, and thinking.”
“I knew I smelled something burning, I guess that was your wheels turning in that pea brain of yours.” Jake teased.
“Not everyone can be a smart successful lawyer like you brother.”
“Sure they can, just not you. So what has you so tied up you need to brood by yourself?”
“I’d rather not talk about it.”
“Always the big tough Marine aren’t you? Sometimes its best to get things off your chest Tyler; you will explode if you hold everything in.”
“Dude, you sound like a woman, marriage and fatherhood sure has changed you. I can remember a day when you said you would never be tied down.”
“People change, some for the better and some not so much. I was lucky that Emily and I crossed paths again.”
“She’s really great Jake.” Tyler complimented.
“I know she is. She has changed my life, and that little girl in there has made things amazing. I never thought I’d be used to waking up and seeing her smiling face every day, but she brightens everything.”
“You’re such a fucking sap.” Tyler laughed.
“Maybe so, but I have everything I could ever want, so if that makes me a sap then it’s a small price to pay my friend.”
“Thanks for the pep talk, but I need to get some sleep, night man.”
“Goodnight Ty.”
Tyler headed to the room he was residing in, and shut the door. He shucked off his clothes and took out his wallet. It was probably bad luck to carry a picture of your deceased ex-wife around with you, but Tyler had trouble letting go of the past. It wasn’t like he could just discard the things that changed his life; they were a permanent part of him just like any physical scar.
He pulled out the photograph and held it in his fingers. Every time he glanced at the picture of her, he wondered what he could have done to make things better. What would have made her want to stay and be faithful to only him? And where would their lives be now? Beating himself up over the past was just part of his daily routine, no need to change that now.
Tyler tucked the photo back in his wallet and settled into the bed for the night, when he turned off the bedside lamp, he hoped that his mind would be clear and he could get a good night’s rest. No such luck. All he could manage to think about was Maggie, her and her slick city girl ways. Damn he was majorly fucked.
Seven
I wanted to sit and cry, maybe find a darkened room secluded away from everything and just let go. This place was far more devastating than I could have ever imagined. Every detail came back to haunt me like it was fresh and new. I never expected my past to come back to torture me like this. The years of therapy and trying to talk out the past with myself didn’t seem to affect the current state I found myself in. I was yet again the helpless little girl, lost with no savior in a cruel and traitorous existence.
Crashing around me was my life, the one I thought I had in order but was terribly mistaken. Feeling like I was drowning in a pool of boiling oil, gasping for air and being burned from the inside out was not something I expected when I walked through the doors of my past.
I didn’t want to remember the events that changed my life forever. The times that I would lock myself in my bedroom hoping that my father would not visit me during the night. Or the days when my mother was in the hospital, and he would be alone with me in this house.
I never asked for what happened it just did.
He was one of my parents and should have protected me, and loved me, instead he used me. He did things that no child should have to endure, things that to this day affected me mentally and physically.
I flashed back to the times he would put his hands on me, and not in a loving father sort of way, but a sadistic animal manner.
I went to my mother for help, but she wouldn’t believe that the man she married would be guilty of such travesties. Why would she? She was stuck in a relationship where a controlling prick monitored her every move and dictated what she should and shouldn’t do.
The invasions became more frequent as I became a teenager, and when I turned sixteen it became worse than I could have imagined. He took everything from me, my innocence, my laughter, and my life.
I never mourned the day I found out he died, why would I? I celebrated it knowing that my nightmare had finally come to an end.
When I turned eighteen and graduated high school, I fled. I scraped and saved everything I had, and I ran as far away from this place that I could.
I enrolled in college, graduated, and became successful in Chicago. I put the past where it should be and never looked back. Until now.
If I had the option to torch this house and watch the embers burn I would. I wanted everything to do with the pain and heartache to disappear, and to sit on the sidelines and observe. But that wasn’t in the cards for me to play.
My mother’s will stipulated that I must spend a week here, going through memories that I would rather throw in the garbage. In return, I would receive a cash payout from her life insurance, which was seven figures.
I didn’t know why she wanted this from me, and I should have walked away, but I was greedy. Richard and I were on the road to starting a new life together and I knew that the money would come in handy in the future.
When the thought of my fiancée buzzed in my head, I unexpectedly felt guilty. I wasn’t that person that went around kissing strange men, but finding myself in that situation had me on edge. When Richard kissed me, I didn’t feel the things I felt when my lips touched Tyler’s, it was just…emotionless. Maybe it was just that I had been with Richard for a while, and things had become stagnant. I had always heard when you have been in a relationship for a while; things might cool off a bit, which had to be the case, right?
Things were okay in the bedroom department of my love life I suppose, I mean Richard would only do the missionary position with me, but I chalked it up to him possibly being old fashioned. Not every man had the preference of bending a girl over and fucking her from behind, although I would have welcomed the spice of it all, maybe occasionally.
Orgasms were far and few between with Richard and I, but that was something I could take care of by myself. Come to think of it, he wasn’t a generous lover at all. He would stick his dick in me and when he was finished it was over, end of story.
I know we were both busy and goal oriented, maybe to the degree of obsession, but things like sex were trivial. Most things were trivial to Richard, but I had come to be somewhat comfortable with his ideas.
I needed to talk to him, and have his voice clear my head. I found my phone and dialed his number.
“Hey!” Richard answered.
“Hi there, how are things in paradise?”
“Oh you know, sand, surf, that’s about it. What about you? Are things going okay?”
“As good as can be expected, I’m just settling in and tr
ying to get things done.”
“Yeah well, hopefully you will get done early and be able to fly out here.”
“I’m not sure about that but I will try.”
I heard a giggle in the background, and then a giddy voice.
“Richard, baby, hurry up so we can swim!”
My stomach became knotted, and my mouth dry. “Who was that?” I snapped.
“Oh um…That is a friend my brother brought along.”
“Sounds like you are pretty chummy with her!”
“It’s not what it sounds like; she is petrified of sharks and wants someone to swim with her.”
“Sharks don’t visit shallow water Richard!”
“Yeah I know, but I promised her I would protect her.”