by Abigail Roux
where were your thoughts?” Brandt asked Shawn as the older man looked from Carl
to Brandt and back again.
“What?” Shawn asked in confusion.
“Where were your thoughts?” Brandt repeated calmly.
“I don’t… I don’t understand.”
“Were they in here, wondering why Trigger was calling out for help, or were
they out there on the balcony having a smoke?”
XX.
REMY stood at the railing, tense and expectant after hearing the sharp inhalation his words caused behind him.
Thiago moved almost as silently as Remy did. Remy would have to
remember that from here on out. He was playing a dangerous game. One that could
very well get him killed now that he’d lost his only real ally.
Thiago hadn’t moved yet, and Remy suspected the other man could sense
how tense he was. He tried to relax his body slightly, but he couldn’t quite manage it.
He had to get off this balcony. Now. Remy inhaled deeply and produced several more hazy little rings as he tried to get hold of his nerves.
“Do you smoke, Thiago?” he asked unsteadily.
“I try not to,” Thiago murmured.
“It’s a damn nasty habit for a spook to have,” Remy said. “I don’t wear
cologne or use scented shampoo. I don’t make noise when I move and I can blend
into a shadow like a wraith. But all it takes is the glow or smell of one little cigarette to give away your position,” Remy said pointedly, hoping the message was getting
across.
“I didn’t trip you up,” Thiago said defensively as he finally turned to slide
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the door closed. “Gray Kincaid tripped us up,” Thiago added as he walked over and leant backwards on the railing, facing Remy and crossing his arms casually across his chest. “I told you he was good.”
Remy glanced at him and snorted as he calmed slightly, watching the
shadows move in the night below him.
“Have you come to cheer me up then?” Remy asked curiously.
“If you think it’ll help,” Thiago said in a neutral voice. “Sometimes it does
some good to complain to someone neutral.”
“Yeah,” Remy said absently as he flicked the ashes over the side of the
balcony and looked up at the clear night sky. “You ever look at the stars, Thi?” he asked curiously.
Thiago glanced up and pursed his lips. “I suppose not. Always figured the
moment I looked up was the moment I’d get shot,” he said thoughtfully.
“Yeah,” Remy said sadly. “I remember that feeling. Not having that feeling
was always one of the best things about….” Remy closed his eyes sadly as he nodded his head to indicate Shawn inside.
“You’re not alone, Remy,” Thiago told him softly. Remy shivered as a wave
of cold chills swept through him. “You don’t have to be alone ever again.”
“We never finished our conversation, y’know,” Remy said abruptly as he
watched the tip of his cigarette burn slowly.
“What conversation?” Thiago asked gently. He had the tone of a man
speaking to a little kid who wouldn’t come out from under the bed, and Remy hated himself for causing it. Had he become that fragile? First Shawn, and now Thiago.
Both of them handling him like a porcelain doll. It made Remy want to kick himself in the ass. He would have tried it, but he knew he’d hurt himself in the process.
“At the cabin,” he explained as he glanced at Thiago once more. “You were
going to ask me something.”
“Right,” Thiago whispered slowly, his eyes still on Remy in the soft light
that came from within the flat. “I was going to ask you if you liked to be called something besides your name,” he recalled absently.
“I’ve always liked Dixie,” Remy answered thoughtfully. “Do you think
they’re happy?” he asked suddenly.
Thiago raised one expressive eyebrow and looked back inside. “Shawn and
Brandt?” he asked as clarification.
Remy nodded. “He says he thinks he’s in love,” he told Thiago quietly.
Thiago showed no visible reaction, and Remy shifted uneasily. “I never thought
someone like Brandt would be a threat,” he admitted. “I made the mistake of thinking he’d want someone similar to himself,” he said as he finally stood up straight and
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indicated Thiago with his hand. “I thought it might be you. To replace me, I mean.
When he retired. To keep him company. You remind me of him. Doesn’t matter now,
really. As long as he has someone that’ll stick by him.”
“You and Brandt are a lot alike,” Thiago told him as Remy looked at him.
“Three months is a long time to be with just one person day in and day out. You felt it with Niko. I felt it with Carl.”
“You’re suggesting he loves me and merely found a temporary replacement
in Wally,” Remy surmised flatly.
“It seems to make sense,” Thiago responded confidently.
“Shawn’s not stupid,” Remy argued.
“He’s also not very good with emotion,” Thiago pointed out with a huff.
“You said this yourself. Give him some time; he will realize there’s a difference between passion and proximity.”
“We don’t have the time,” Remy whispered bitterly. “Gar ici, you saw me
out there, Thio. I’m losing it.”
“What I saw was a phenomenal ability to track through crowded streets and
nail a target. If we hadn’t gotten in each other’s way we’d have had him.”
“Mon tcheue. I’m a fuck up, Thi. I’m going to get one of us killed,” Remy
claimed disgustedly.
“You saved Nikolaus’s life. More than once, from what I hear.”
“Niko’s a doll. He really is. But, if I had just… if I had been more intent on
who was after us rather than why, then, I mean, McTiernan and–”
“Remy,” Thiago said sternly as he took hold of Remy’s shoulders and stood
facing him. Remy looked at Thiago in surprise and blinked a couple of times. “We’re all in odd circumstances, and nobody’s perfect. You’re allowed to slip here and
there.”
“Is that a play on words?” Remy asked suspiciously. “’Cause I’m not really
in the mood to talk about slipping anywhere. Or be made fun of.”
Thiago smiled at him, and Remy was struck by how different the man looked
when he grinned like that. He didn’t look quite sane, but he looked happy. Remy was also struck by how good it felt to have the other man’s hands on him, and before he really knew what he was doing, he grabbed Thiago by the front of his shirt and lunged forward, pressing their lips together in a passionate, needy kiss.
Remy halfway expected Thiago to stop him. To push him away and gently
tell him he needed to think about what he was doing. It was obvious to both men that this was caused just as much by Remy’s need for comfort as it was by the attraction both men had been fighting.
But Thiago didn’t push him away. He didn’t whisper Shawn’s name in
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reproach or tell Remy why it wasn’t a good idea for them to touch one another. To kiss one another. Instead, he pulled Remy closer and wrapped his arms around him, moaning into his mouth as Remy slipped his arms around Thiago’s neck.
“Let’s get off this fucking balcony, oui?” Remy whispered when Thiago
finally halted the kiss and stood holding Remy close to him. Thiago’s unsteady breath gusted across his face and Remy shiver
ed.
“La cama,” Thiago murmured before placing a succession of soft, stunningly erotic kisses across Remy’s mouth. For the first time since Thiago had touched him, Remy remembered that they were in plain sight of the others. His eyes flickered
briefly toward the main room, but it was empty.
“Bed,” Remy confirmed when he realized the others had already broken
camp and headed to bed themselves. His heart hurt briefly to think of Shawn and
Brandt wrapped in each other’s arms, but then Thiago’s hand gently caressed the
small of Remy’s back and acted like a salve on the open wound.
Remy and Thiago floated through the flat like ghosts, silently turning off
lights and straightening papers before they made their way to the last bedroom. Remy noticed the light on in the first room and, as they passed, he could hear Brandt and Shawn murmuring on the other side of the door. Thiago slipped an arm around
Remy’s waist and pulled him closer, seeming to sense that Remy needed the physical contact most.
“How d’you suppose Brandt affords a flat like this?” Remy asked in a barely
audible voice as Thiago ushered him into the dark room and closed the door behind them.
“Same way you accumulated all that money,” Thiago murmured as he
wrapped his arms around Remy from behind and kissed his neck gently.
“I doubt it was exactly the same way,” Remy muttered with a smile.
“Been skimming, have we?” Thiago asked as he dipped his fingers below the
waistband of the front of Remy’s jeans.
“Possibly. Call it a retirement fund,” Remy said as he shivered delightedly
and tilted his head to the side to allow Thiago further access. “If you want to know any more you’ll have to beat it out of me.”
“That can be arranged,” Thiago whispered into Remy’s ear.
Remy found himself being moved slowly towards the bed as his jeans were
unbuttoned and pushed down. He allowed Thiago to manhandle him just a little, and lifted his arms so his shirt could be pulled over his head. But Thiago didn’t pull the loose flannel up, gently undoing each button from behind instead as he nibbled on Remy’s ear.
“One of those, eh?” Remy asked in amusement as Thiago gently pushed him
to lay face down on the mattress. He pulled the shirt off Remy from behind,
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momentarily trapping his arms behind him, and then pulled the jeans the rest of the way down Remy’s body.
“One of those what?” Thiago asked softly. The sounds he was making told
Remy that he was undressing himself, and Remy smiled indulgently.
“You’re not always a top but you’re still in control,” Remy said in
explanation as he lifted himself up onto his elbows and looked over his shoulder.
“Mmm. And do you always go commando?”
“Not really. They shredded my Superman boxers. Didn’t have any more,”
Remy said absently as he let his eyes travel over Thiago’s body in the darkness. He wanted to see more of it. “May I turn over?” he asked politely. This seemed to amuse Thiago to no end.
They tussled slightly as Thiago grabbed Remy’s hips and rolled him onto his
back, only to keep rolling him until he was on the edge of the bed and grasping
Thiago’s forearms for dear life so as not to fall off. By the time he rolled onto his back and they edged into the middle of the bed, they were both snickering almost
uncontrollably.
“‘May I?’” Thiago mimicked in a high-pitched voice as he settled his body
on top of Remy’s. “Are you always so polite just before you get fucked?”
“I’m always polite, couyon,” Remy seriously as he hooked one leg over one of Thiago’s hips.
“Mmm,” Thiago acknowledged with a cheeky little nod of his head and a
cocked eyebrow.
“You really should smile more often,” Remy told him.
Thiago nodded thoughtfully as he looked down at Remy. “Superman
boxers?” he queried finally.
“Oh, yeah,” Remy whispered feelingly. “Loved ‘em. Carl made Niko shred
‘em. Bastard. He’s a sadistic fuck, y’know. Carl. Under that teddy bear exterior, there lies an evil–”
Thiago kissed him once more, and Remy completely forgot what he was
talking about as Thiago’s lips and tongue and teeth sent lances of need throughout his entire body. Fun time was over. Screw the foreplay.
“Okay then,” Remy gasped as Thiago pulled away and thrust his hips down
slightly and into Remy’s body.
“I haven’t gotten any of my information yet,” Thiago said with a grin.
“Fuck it. Go get the lube. Now,” Remy ordered authoritatively. Thiago
nodded eagerly and pushed himself off Remy’s body.
As soon as the contact was gone, Remy’s mind wandered down the hall to
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Shawn, and he squeezed his eyes closed to combat the sinking feeling in his stomach.
“Thiago,” he whispered desperately. “Fuck the lube. Get your Spanish ass
back here.”
Thiago was back and kissing him hungrily before Remy could open his eyes
again, and Remy wrapped his body around Thiago’s and pushed all other thoughts
from his mind.
“Are you sure you want this?” Thiago murmured questioningly into Remy’s
mouth as Remy nibbled on Thiago’s lower lip.
“Yes, I want it. I think I need it,” Remy admitted. He tilted his hips up and
let his head fall back as their bodies made contact.
Thiago moaned something unintelligible in Spanish as Remy tried every
trick he knew to get the other man going. “I’m Argentine, by the way,” Thiago
murmured distractedly as his entire body convulsed with pleasure. “Asshole.”
“You can call me French then,” Remy muttered as he leaned upwards and
pulled Thiago down for one more kiss. “Now,” he demanded with difficulty as their tongues slid together and their bodies caressed one another.
Thiago thumped the bottle of lubricant down beside Remy’s head
wordlessly, but instead of allowing Remy to reach for it he gathered the younger man in his arms and pulled them both into a kneeling position on the bed.
“I’m not this skilled,” Remy said with a little smirk as Thiago pulled their
bodies together and nibbled at his neck. He didn’t really see what position Thiago was aiming for, but he was pretty sure there wasn’t one they could manage like this.
“I’m not just going to fuck you,” Thiago said by way of explanation as he
kissed Remy once more. “You need more than that. You deserve more than that de un amigo.”
Remy’s eyes fluttered shut and relief washed over him. They could do this
slowly then. It wasn’t like a mission where it had to be over and done with quickly.
He didn’t have to treat it as something he had to do. It was something Thiago wanted just as badly as Remy needed it and they would do it right.
Thiago sat back on his haunches and brought Remy with him until Remy
straddled him.
“Like this then?” Remy murmured as he settled down and kissed Thiago
gently. “Your knees won’t make it,” he whispered after Thiago’s affirmative hum.
“You don’t think so?” Thiago asked softly, distracted by the intense study of
Remy’s neck that he was doing with his lips and tongue.
“Mmm. I ride hard, Thi,” Remy said, just a hint of humor breaking through
his seductive tone.
Thiago leant back slightly and grinned again, and he allowed Remy
to push
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him backward until he was lying flat, his head at the foot of the bed.
“Are you always a bottom?” Thiago asked as Remy kissed a trail down his
chest and stomach. Remy nodded slowly, letting his nose travel gently over the light fuzz on Thiago’s abdomen before he went further and slowly took the head of the
Thiago’s cock into his mouth. “Fuck,” Thiago whispered as he tried not to thrust
upwards into Remy’s mouth. Remy grinned and took him in more, letting his tongue
circle around before he thrust his head down and took him all the way to the back of his throat.
Thiago whimpered and thrust up into Remy’s throat, and Remy swallowed
convulsively until Thiago was writhing and trembling beneath him.
“¿Por qué? ” Thiago gasped finally.
Remy let Thiago’s cock slip from his mouth and he kissed the tip with a grin
before looking up at Thiago and smiling.
“Why, what?” he asked as he reached for the little bottle Thiago had
retrieved and took Thiago’s clenched hand in his own.
“Why are you always the bottom?” Thiago murmured.
Remy took Thiago’s finger and slid it into his mouth, swirling his tongue in
the same fashion he had displayed before and then sliding the finger out once more.
He popped open the cap on the lube and covered Thiago’s fingers as the older man
breathed heavily and waited for his answer.
“Because if the bottom does his job, then he’s the one in charge,” Remy
finally murmured in answer, and Thiago opened his eyes to lock his gaze with
Remy’s.
“You’re absolutely right,” Thiago gasped hoarsely as he took control of his
fingers. Remy gasped and gripped Thiago’s wrist. “I want one thing from you,
Remy,” Thiago said harshly as he slowly inserted two fingers inside Remy and
twisted them wickedly.
Remy tensed and arched his back, but immediately relaxed and allowed the
unexpected intrusion. “What’s that?” he asked distractedly, too concerned with the pleasure Thiago was giving him to respond with any of the cheeky comments his