by Jordan Marie
“You never know. He’s not made any friends in this part of the woods. In fact, my brothers and I would like to smash his face in.”
“You and your brothers will do no such thing. I forbid it,” Ida Sue yells. She does this loudly and there’s anger in her words—enough that I take a step back.
“What am I missing here?” I ask, confused.
“C.T. made a few bad decisions,” Ida Sue says with a heartfelt sigh.
“That’s a freaking understatement,” Black says.
“Your cousins are a wee bit upset with some of his recent decisions.”
“Another freaking understatement.”
“Oh. Should I not rent the house? I could still get the apartment above the beauty shop,” I ask, directing my question at Black. I don’t want to jump into a huge mess.
“That’s crazy talk right there. This house is perfect. The master bedroom and bath are so nice and the small nursery will be great for baby Zeus or Eris,” Ida Sue argues. “Plus, Cherry Blossom, look at this yard. Your babies could run and play for days.”
I laugh. For the last few days Ida Sue has tried different “blossom” names for me. She’s asked to adopt me, even though I keep telling her you can’t adopt grown adults. Her response was classic Ida Sue: she said she can adopt me, she just has to find the right name. I don’t know what to say to that, other than I love her—which I do, even if she is crazy as hell.
“I don’t think I need to worry about the yard. I probably won’t be here long enough for the baby to be running—and that’s bay--be, singular, definitely not plural,” I laugh.
“Why wouldn’t you be? I thought you liked it here.”
“Well, I do. It’s a great place for a kid to grow up. But I’m renting. I doubt the owner is really looking for any contract to be long term.”
“Exactly the reason I want to smash his face in,” Black growls.
“What?”
“Nothing. Black forgot to take his fiber medication this morning. It makes him grouchy when he can’t poop correctly.”
I cringe. That’s something I really didn’t want to know about my cousin.
“Well, you’re right about one thing, Mom. Someone around here is sure full of shit.”
“Black Heart Lucas! You need to shut it!”
“I don’t have a middle name, Mom.”
“You do now! I just added it!”
I know they’re arguing, and I’m confused as hell, but I listen to them and giggle.
“I’m going to make sure Faith’s water is turned on and her windows are locked,” Black answers, walking away, and it’s clear he’s still angry.
“Wow. He is really upset with your friend.”
“He is, but he’ll get over it. C.T. just needs to prove himself again, and he will.”
“What did he do?”
“That’s not my story to tell, Ginger Blossom. But I think everyone deserves a second chance, don’t you?”
“I never thought about it. I guess so. Unless maybe, murderers and people who harm children and maybe pets. Really, Ida Sue, I can’t answer since I don’t know what this C.T. did.”
“He just made a mistake, Tater Blossom, but it wasn’t illegal. Everyone makes mistakes, even my damn boy. One day he’ll be eating his words.”
“You have that much confidence in your friend?”
“I do, but then there’s a lot on the line for him and I’ve found when a good man is faced with losing everything, he tends to get his head out of his ass pretty quick.”
“Well I hope he fixes everything, especially since you seem so fond of him.”
“Me too, Turtle Blossom, me too.”
“Aunt Ida Sue?”
“Yeah?”
“Let’s just call me Blossom...”
She grins really big and I get the feeling she got what she wanted all along. I’ve agreed to be “adopted” and I didn’t even see it coming.
35
Titan
I’m so nervous I feel like I’m about to face the firing squad. I rub the side of my face, frowning. I should have shaved this morning. I came here straight from the airport. I thought about going to Faith’s looney-tunes aunt first, but sadly… this seemed the safer of the two choices.
And if I’m completely honest, I wanted to see Faith again. I haven’t laid eyes on her since that day at the airport and I’ve found the strangest thing happened.
I missed her.
I missed her after she left me with the annulment papers, but she made her choice and it pissed me off at the time, but I decided to move forward. I did that and when it got time to marry Jacey…
I was done. I was going through with the plan, despite knowing I shouldn’t. I was going through with the plan at Jacey’s urgings… at Cora’s urgings. I was going through with the plan because I felt lost and the promise of the general manager position might fill that void. But when it came up to that moment, I couldn’t do it. Was going to call it off, and then Faith showed.
That was not how I wanted her to see me again. That’s all I processed. I didn’t want Faith to see me being a chump, making chump moves—because that’s all that was. A play for a fucking job, doing what I was doing—even with Jacey knowing my motives and her having some of her own—was a chump-ass move and that’s what Faith saw.
Then came her news.
Pregnant.
I haven’t begun to process that. I’m not sure I know how right now. What I do know is I need to make sure Faith is taken care of—preferably by me, but at least so that I’m close enough to know she’s okay.
I had a grand scheme to marry a woman I did not know, and barely spoke to. A scheme that came into play at a party when she approached me. I have no grand scheme on what to do with Faith. A woman I know, mostly like—except when I want to throttle her—and a woman who is having my baby.
If I was going to have a plan, right now would sure as hell be the correct time to have it. And I have…
Absolutely nothing.
My attention is brought back to the door; I am just about to knock again when the curtain covering the glass panels move. Faith’s eyes find mine and she stares at me for a moment. Somewhere in the back of my mind I make a note to have her front door changed. Half the door is made up of six small glass panels which have been sectioned off in squares by trim. It’s cute and matches the feel of the house, but glass breaks and it does that easily. That leaves Faith vulnerable… Faith and my child.
Her face tightens, and her eyes dull. She’s not happy to see me. I didn’t expect she would be, but I had hoped.
“Let me in,” I tell her, feeling like an ass, but apparently not able to articulate words that might soften her toward me. Then again, I’m not sure words are invented that might make Faith like me right now.
“What are you doing here, Titan?” she asks, finally opening the door.
I take a minute to just look at her. Faith’s blond hair is rumpled from sleep and it’s all clipped to the top of her head. She has circles, dark ones, and I don’t like them. She’s way too pale. Guilt flares up strong inside of me. I should have been here sooner to watch over her. I force myself to look away from her face. My gaze travels to the rest of her body and it’s been a while. I could be mistaken, but I think she’s lost weight. Faith’s pregnant, she shouldn’t be losing weight. I take in the faded blue robe she’s wearing that is cinched at the waist. A waist which is not swollen with a child, but I know it’s coming. Soon her flat stomach will be swollen with my child and something twists inside of me at the knowledge. I never thought about being a father, not sure I ever wanted to be.
Looking at Faith’s stomach right now, I’m bombarded with emotions and questions. I’m not ready to sift through them just yet.
“Hi, Faith.”
“What are you doing here?” she asks again.
“I was hoping we could talk.” That definitely sounds lame. What the fuck has happened to me? Apparently finding out I’m going to be a father has di
sconnected my brain.
“I don’t think we have much to say to each other. At least not until the baby gets here.”
“I think you’re wrong.”
“Ask me if I care what you think,” she responds, some of the fire in her eyes returning. I don’t really want her angry at me, but at least she’s showing some emotion and for some reason that makes me feel better.
“Will you let me in, please? We’ll talk. We need to talk—if not for us, for the life you’re carrying.”
I watch as her hand travels to her stomach. She rubs it gently and my gut tightens. A slow burning heat spreads through my body. She’s thinking of the baby… of our baby… and it’s clear that she cares for the child already. I don’t know why that surprises me, but fuck if it doesn’t and I can’t say I don’t like it.
I do. I like the fact that she’s pregnant with my child and there’s a part of her happy about it. I like it a fuck of a lot.
Maybe because I feel the same…
Shit.
36
Faith
I open the door wider and wait for Titan to come inside. He had to find me through my Aunt Ida Sue. I may kill her. I know she has a crush on him—in that she wants him to be the new model at her sculpting class she’s taking at the Y—the nude model. Still, I wasn’t ready for Titan to know where I live. I wasn’t really prepared to see him just yet. I knew it was coming, but I was all for letting it lie for now. He walks in, and my house has high ceilings and large rooms, but instantly it feels smaller. I ignore that and lead him into the kitchen. If I’m going to have to talk to him, I’m going to need to do that with coffee in my system.
He sits at the bar, looking very uncomfortable, and I won’t lie, seeing him like that brings me pleasure.
“Do you want some coffee?” I ask him, giving him my back as I turn to the coffee pot and start putting in the pod and filling it with water.
“Should you be drinking coffee? I mean, you are pregnant. That can’t be healthy for the baby.”
“And that would be a no,” I grumble, ignoring him. I drink decaf and not a lot of that, but I’m not about to start explaining myself to him.
“I’ll take a cup,” he says quietly.
He’s silent after that and we face each other with the sound of the coffee percolating in the background. I lean against my kitchen cabinet, grateful there is a bar between us. He looks good, and I don’t want to admit that, but he does. He’s wearing jeans—which is something I’ve not really seen him in. Titan can make suits and dress slacks look really good. He however, makes a pair of Levis fill out so damn good that it hurts to see. He’s got on a dusty blue tee that is stretched across his broad muscles and looks soft and somehow sweet against his dark skin. Skin that I’ve touched, skin that I’ve missed…
I force my mind away from those thoughts.
“Not today, Satan,” I mutter as I turn around to take the cup of coffee that has brewed, and begin going through the motions to do another one. My single cup coffee maker was perfect just for me and I was kind of in love with it, but right now I’m cursing it. If I could get the coffee done and get Titan out of the door—quickly—I’d be over the moon with joy.
“What?” he asks, clearly confused. I don’t bother to repeat myself or deny what I said. Instead I hand him his cup.
“Do you want sugar? Milk? Creamer?”
“I’m fine,” he says, his voice tight.
“What are you doing here, Titan?”
“You’re pregnant with my child, Faith.”
“I was pregnant when I was in California. You didn’t want to talk then,” I remind him.
“I tried.”
“At the airport, when I was leaving. You had time to do it before that. Your silence spoke volumes and what it spoke was not good, Titan.”
“I needed time to process everything. You can’t just spring shit on me like that, and expect me to know what to say right off,” he argues.
Frustration is etched on his face and maybe I’m being unfair—in fact, I know I am, but I don’t care. I hate the words he uses when he talks about my child. I hate the expressions on his face when he looks at me or talks about our child. I hate all of it. Most of all I hate that I slept with this guy before I signed his damn annulment papers, and I did it thinking he was a good guy. And if I think on that, the thing I absolutely hate the most is that I thought he was a good guy, because that time in California where he didn’t talk to me, I began to realize maybe I was wrong. The time I’ve been back in Texas and him never reaching out and checking on me—all of that proved to me that I was wrong. So I don’t care that I’m not being fair. I don’t think I have to be.
“I didn’t unload shit on you. I told you I was pregnant. I didn’t ask for anything from you, Titan. I just thought you’d want to know.”
“I did, Faith. Shit, I just wasn’t… prepared.”
“You think I was?”
“I’m seeing you weren’t,” he says quietly, but his words don’t make me feel better—not at all.
“I wasn’t prepared. I was panicked, full blown panicked. But I came to you with my news. It wasn’t easy. It took a hell of a lot out of me to do it.”
“How long are you going to bust my balls over this? I was at my wedding to another woman. It was an agreement, but it was still a fucking huge wedding.”
“Yeah. You didn’t let any moss grow under your feet either.”
“Why in the hell are you acting like we had something when we didn’t? I didn’t keep Jacey, the deal or my plans from you, woman. I hunted you down because of those plans.”
“And then you found me. We may have not had anything before, but after that last night, we might have,” I growl back before I can stop myself.
“We had sex, it was really good sex, but I woke up alone. You were gone with those papers signed. That gave me the green light to go ahead with my plans. It might suck to hear it, but it was just sex, Faith. It didn’t tie my dick to you.”
His words lance through me, searing as they go. I blink and my breath catches, so destructive is that blow. He’s right—but he is also not right. So I let him have it. I’ve been storing it up for weeks, so I have it to give and I think he just earned it. So I give it to him straight.
“Maybe not until that point. We were nothing then, you’re right. But that night we weren’t drunk, Titan. We were both there in that moment, Big Daddy.”
“It was sex and—”
“And I didn’t hear you crying, ‘Oh no, get off my dick’,” I tell him, almost at the point where I’ve had it with him.
“I’m a man, not like—”
“That’s yet to be determined in my eyes.”
“I could remind you just how much of a man I am,” he answers and that makes me really done.
“Get out,” I growl.
“Faith—”
“Don’t Faith me. Get out. We had sex and I signed your papers. It could have been a new beginning for us. You knew where I was and we could have started over—took things slower. And that’s fine, I get that you weren’t interested in that. That happens and it sucks since I liked you, but like I said, that’s fine. But, what you don’t get to do is sit in my kitchen and tell me I’m overreacting, or that it’s my fault this all happened and I laid it at your feet. You don’t get to do that. So what you need to do is leave.”
“We need to talk,” he growls again, but he’s looking at me differently. Maybe he can tell how deep he cut me, or maybe he’s starting to get scared I’m two steps away from kicking him in the dick. Whatever it is, I don’t care. I just want him gone.
“You need to leave,” I virtually scream. I want him gone; I don’t want him breathing my air. I don’t want him around my baby’s air. Not right now, and maybe never—but definitely not right now.
“I can see you’re upset.”
“Gee—”
“So I’ll leave, but I’m not leaving Texas, Faith. I’m staying and you and I, we’re going to talk
about this. We’re going to talk about it like two rational adults and we’re going to come up with a plan.”
“I have a plan. I’m raising my child.”
“Not without me, Faith. Not without me. I’m going to be a part of my child’s life. That means I’m going to be a part of your life.”
“Will you just leave?” I ask, my voice merely a whisper. I can’t deal with him right now. I just can’t.
“I’m going… for now.”
I don’t respond to his warning. I’m not even sure I breathe until he’s out the door. I stare at his coffee that he didn’t touch. I slide to the floor, staring at that coffee until the image of it dissolves into my tears.
Then… I let myself cry.
37
Titan
“Hi, Faith.”
I watch as her face slowly moves and she looks at me. Those blue eyes, so blue you could get lost in them, focus on me and then her face goes tight. She’s not happy to see me, but then I didn’t expect her to be.
“What are you doing here, Titan? Are you following me?”
I look around the small park. It’s nearly empty; there are just a few people out enjoying the fresh air. I wasn’t following her, but I was driving by her house. I wanted to just drive by and make sure everything was okay. I actually wanted to see her, but I knew I couldn’t knock on her door—not after our last visit. But I saw her from the road sitting on the bench and I couldn’t resist walking over here. I don’t want her to know I’m living with her aunt just yet, but I know the day is coming. Ida Sue invited Faith over for dinner tonight, but Faith told her she couldn’t make it because the school she’s working at was having a basketball game, and Faith was tasked with taking admission at the door. All this means that Faith will be having dinner at Ida Sue’s tomorrow. That also means she will soon discover I’m not only staying in town, but that I’m living with her aunt. I’m sure this news won’t fill her with happiness, but it has to happen. The one thing I have no idea about… is how to fix this mess. I need Faith to soften toward me. I seem to just keep sticking my foot in my mouth with her over and over. Everything I say comes out wrong.