by L. A. Witt
A pencil skittered across the table, clipping my wrist as it went by.
I damn near jumped out of my skin, and looked around.
Teagan was watching me, leaning over her hands on her table a few feet away. “You up for sushi today?”
I wasn’t hungry in the slightest, but “do you want sushi?” was often code for “I need to talk”. No one else in our crew liked the stuff, so we were guaranteed a one-on-one conversation over lunch. When our eyes met, the thin, tight line of her lips confirmed she wasn’t just craving wasabi and sashimi.
Well, it would give me something to do besides staring at this model I’d forgotten how to build while I freaked out over my bosses’ ultimatum, so I laid my X-ACTO knife beside the miniature steps. “I’ll get my coat.”
“God, you two disgust me.” Scott shook his head and wrinkled his nose. “Raw fish, seaweed…”
“Ugh.” Cal shuddered.
Teagan laughed dryly. “You boys are so uncultured.”
“At least we’re not the ones eating raw fish.” Bianca made a face and shuddered just as Cal had.
“No accounting for taste,” Teagan said. “If the boss lady comes by, tell her we took an early lunch.”
“You should take her with you,” Scott said dryly. “She probably eats that shit too. Anything that’s barely dead and not fit for human consumption.”
“No, dipshit,” Cal said. “Everyone knows she eats babies and drinks the blood of virgins.”
Teagan laughed. “Well, Cal, I guess if she ever asks you to go for drinks, you should run—” She ducked, narrowly avoiding another flying pencil.
We started toward the door, and I asked, “You sure we should leave them without adult supervision?”
She shrugged. “Silent Dave is here. They’ll be fine.” Over her shoulder, she added, “Calvin, please don’t set anything on fire.”
The closing door cut off his response. We both laughed softly. Then the humor faded, and we walked to the parking lot in silence. No banter, no small talk. She must have been just as preoccupied as I was.
I drove, and the short ride was silent as well.
It was barely eleven, so the lunch rush hadn’t yet begun, and the sushi carousel was all but deserted. We took our usual booth near the prep counter. It was the prime spot to get the freshest plates before they’d had a chance to wind all the way around the restaurant. We’d keep an eye on the track, wait for something appetizing to come by and grab it. When we finished, we’d pay for the plates.
Nothing sounded good today. I snagged a pair of California rolls but ignored the squid and octopus, which I usually loved.
Even the first California roll couldn’t whet my appetite. Except the alternative was leaving here and going back to the office and my quiet world of wondering what the hell I was going to do, which was even less appetizing.
And Teagan needed to talk. No matter how distracted I was, I wouldn’t leave her high and dry if she needed me.
I still couldn’t quite bring myself to eat, though, and there’s nothing in the world quite as conspicuous as picking at sushi. It’s easy to move crap around on a plate and feign an appetite when there’s more than two bites of food to begin with, but nudging the same California roll with chopsticks for ten minutes is a little less subtle.
Teagan put an empty plate on the stack and watched the carousel for another to come by.
“You gonna eat that?” she asked.
“I’m not really that hungry, actually.” I nudged the plate away. “So, since you wanted to come here, I’m guessing you wanted to talk about something.”
She nodded. “Yes, I do.”
I rested my elbows on the table and my chin on the backs of my fingers. “Okay, so…?”
She set her chopsticks on the side of her plate. “What happened in that meeting? You were practically dancing your way through the Zone all morning, and then you disappeared to a meeting and came back looking like you’d witnessed a murder.” She wagged a finger at me. “Don’t even try to tell me there’s nothing going on, because there’s something on your mind.”
“I’m… I mean…” I shook my head. “T, there’s nothing—”
“Bullshit!” She smacked her palm on the table, rattling our empty sushi plates, and released an exasperated sigh. “Today alone, let’s see…” She ticked the points off on her fingers. “You passed up no fewer than two golden opportunities to give Cal shit about his mom. Bianca and Scott both completely set themselves up about a dozen times apiece. And you’ve had your nose in that model all day long but haven’t once noticed the massive gay Lego orgy going on in the center of the main conference room.”
I blinked. “A Lego orgy?”
“Yes. A huge one.” She released an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes. “Scott and I spent ten whole minutes getting three of them into a proper Lucky Pierre position, and you didn’t even notice. I’m insulted. I really am.”
I couldn’t glare at her. I couldn’t even laugh. “I didn’t see it, no.”
“Exactly. And your Lego obliviousness doesn’t lie. C’mon.” She inclined her head slightly, twin creases appearing between her eyebrows. “I’m worried about you, I really am. Is everything okay between you and your man?”
Before I could stop myself, I flinched.
She leaned closer. “What?”
I was too exhausted and distracted to talk my way out of this, so I rested my elbows on the table again and sighed as I rubbed my temples. “Fine.” I lowered my hands and looked at her. “But none of this conversation leaves this table.”
Her eyes widened slightly, as if she was surprised there really was something on my mind. “Of course it won’t. You know me.”
“So I told you I’ve been seeing someone. And…” My heart thudded in my chest. I resisted the urge to keep glancing at the restaurant’s front door, convincing myself Marie or Mitchell were not going to come through it at any second. “I’ve… It’s…” I stared up at the ceiling for a moment before I met Teagan’s eyes again.
She lifted her eyebrows. “Is it going well?”
“Yeah. Yeah, it’s great.” I smiled despite my nerves. “It’s really great.” Except… I couldn’t maintain the smile. “The only problem…”
“I’ve never seen you have this much trouble spitting something out. Is he a war criminal or something?”
“No, nothing like that.” I picked up a chopstick and absently turned it between my fingers.
Teagan folded her arms on the table and leaned toward me. “Jon, now you’re really worrying me. What’d you do? Knock him up or something?”
A cough of laughter escaped my lips. “Yeah. That’s it. You got me.”
She laughed, but then turned serious again. “So, what is it?”
Taking a deep breath, I laid my palms on the table and forced myself to look her in the eye. “I’m dating Rick Pierce.”
Her eyebrows shot up so fast, I was surprised one of the rings didn’t fly off. “You got your dick pierced?”
“Very funny. You heard me.”
She stared at me. “You’re not kidding, are you?” There was no humor in her voice, no teasing this time.
“No, I’m not.”
“You’re…” She closed her eyes for a second, then met my gaze again. “You’re really dating him?”
I nodded.
“Holy shit, dude.” She tapped a chopstick against the stack of empty plates. “So, you guys hooked up then, and it just, what? Went from there?”
“Basically.”
“How? He’s… I mean…how…”
I chuckled. “How did a guy like me score a guy like him?”
“Honey, how does anyone score a guy like Rick Pierce?”
“Oh, I have my ways. And no, I’m not telling you that story today.”
“So, what’s the problem? I mean, are you guys in a bad spot, or—”
“No, no. That’s just it,” I said, almost whispering. “There isn’t a problem between Rick and m
e. Everything there is…” I paused, then shook my head. “It’s perfect. He’s amazing. I mean, you’d never even know he’s the client who has Mitchell & Forsyth by the balls. Outside of work, he’s just…Rick.”
“I guess I can see why you’ve been so out of it at work lately.”
“You have no idea.” I forced a laugh, then exhaled hard. “I can’t focus. Not at work. Not anywhere.” I took a breath and reached up to rub a phantom crick out of my neck. “I can’t…I can’t think. If he’s there, he’s all I can think about. If he’s not there, I want him to be. I—”
“Oh my fucking God.” Teagan stared at me with nothing short of disbelief written into the way her lips parted and her eyes widened.
I blinked. “What?”
“You’re in love with him.” It wasn’t a question.
I waved the thought away. “I wouldn’t go that far. It’s just, what we’re doing, it’s distracting.”
She shrugged. “So stop fucking him.”
“That’s the other problem, actually.” I drummed my fingers on the table. “It’s not quite that simple.”
“Because it’s more than just sex, right?”
“No. Because someone found out. At work.”
“Someone, as in—” She clapped her hand over her mouth. “Oh shit. Like, Dawson?”
I nodded. “Dawson. All the partners.”
“Ouch.” As her hand slid down, she asked, “How did they find out?”
My face burned. “Remember how they said they only check the parking garage cameras if there’s a wreck or a break-in or something?”
She grimaced. “Jon. You didn’t…”
“I kissed him. That’s all. Just a…” Long, amazing kiss. The only reason I even stayed coherent that day. God, what a— I cleared my throat. “I didn’t think anyone saw us, but apparently someone did. So they checked the cameras. And I got called into a conference room so we could all watch the video together.”
She covered her mouth with both hands, just barely muffling her voice. “I would’ve been mortified.”
“Yeah. I would’ve asked for the ground to open up and swallow me, but we were on the fourth floor.”
“How convenient. So, what did they say? I mean, I assume you still have a job.”
I scratched the back of my neck. “For the moment, yes.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means they’re not firing me, but they gave me one hell of an ultimatum.” I lowered my hand. “I can keep my job as long as I keep Rick happy.”
“Keep—” She blinked. “You might have to spell this one out for me.”
“Yeah, that was kind of my reaction too. Basically, they won’t fire me because that would piss Rick off. But if I split up with him, or I give him a reason to split up with me…” I jerked my thumb over my shoulder. “I’m out.”
Teagan scrunched her eyes shut and waved a hand. “Okay…okay… I’m…” She looked at me again. “Are you telling me, they told you with a straight face that you have to—”
“Yes.”
“Isn’t that, like, prostitution?”
“Kind of feels like it,” I muttered.
“Can they do that?”
“Fuck if I know.” I thumbed the edge of my glass. “Dawson’s looking into it, but she doesn’t know either. She’s talking to a lawyer she knows, and then I guess we’ll sit down with HR.”
“That’s going to be a fun conversation.”
“Tell me about it.” I sat back. “The thing is, I’m not sure what difference it’ll make. Even if they can’t fire me for it, it isn’t like they can get fired for giving me the ultimatum. Part of me wants to say ‘Fine, fire me! I’ll see your asses in court!’ But I’m not even sure if I have a case, and even if I did, there’s no way I could afford a lawyer who could hold a candle to the firm’s legal team.”
“Well, you—” She chewed her lip.
“What?”
“You might not have the money. Your, um, boyfriend—”
“No.”
“Jon.” She huffed sharply. “They can’t get away with putting you in this position. If you can’t afford to go after them, but Rick can…” She shrugged. “Why not?”
“Because that’s not how I do things. If I can’t afford it, I don’t need it.”
“But you do need this job. And you have every right to work in a place that isn’t literally threatening you with unemployment if you aren’t at the sexual beck and call of their client.”
I shuddered. It would’ve been a distasteful position to be in no matter what, but the Dom in me wanted to start flipping tables. “I’m also well aware that if I quit or get fired, I’m screwed for keeping my house and putting my kids through school. Or finding another job.”
“Ugh, I hear you about another job.” She scowled. “There isn’t much out there for us.”
“Exactly. The thing is, if Rick finds out what’s going on and he pulls Horizon Developing from the firm, everyone here is screwed. We both know his company is the only thing keeping us all employed.”
“Shit. Yeah. Man, I do not envy you.”
“The thing with the money, with him paying for a lawyer or something, it…” I hesitated. “Look, there’s a little more to this, and there’s no way I can explain it without getting into a little bit of TMI.”
Teagan’s eyebrows climbed her forehead. “Am I going to need therapy after this?”
“Probably.”
“Great. Go on.”
I laughed a little, but it took a hell of a lot of effort. “The thing is, we… The reason we click is that we’re both…” I cringed. “We’re both kinky.”
Teagan blinked a few times. “Kinky? Like, whips and chains?”
“Kind of. Head games more than anything. Dominance.”
She leaned closer, lowering her voice to a whisper. “Rick Pierce is a dominant? Seriously? Seriously?”
“No.” I swallowed. “I am.”
She straightened. “Oh really?”
I nodded. “So we—”
“No, no. Hold on.” She put up a hand and closed her eyes. “Just…give me…”
“Teagan?”
She waved her hand to silence me. After a few seconds, she shivered and opened her eyes. “Sorry. Just needed a minute to imagine him like that.”
“You weren’t imagining me, were you?”
She frowned. “Thank you for ruining my little fantasy, dickwad.”
I chuckled halfheartedly.
“Anyway. Sorry.” She leaned closer, resting her folded arms on the table. “Go on.”
I searched her eyes, and she was definitely serious now. Though I had to admit, I did appreciate the momentary break in tension; any excuse to catch my breath. “So, an enormous part of my sex life—especially with Rick—is telling submissives what to do.”
“Right. Being dominant.”
I nodded. “But after the firm gave me this ultimatum, I feel like the minute I go to do anything with Rick, suddenly I’m the one taking orders. And it just kind of…kills it for me. I still want him like you wouldn’t believe, but whenever I even think of doing, well, the things we’ve done from the start—”
“So basically, you have to keep fucking him, but you can’t enjoy it.”
“Exactly. And going back to the possibility of a lawyer…” I rubbed my temples and exhaled sharply. “In all seriousness, money can fuck up a relationship. That kind of money? Asking him to pay for a lawsuit against a company he’s tied in with like this? And on top of that, the kick in the balls of having to admit to my submissive that I’m fucking helpless?”
“You’re not helpless, Jon.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I do, and…” She ran a hand through her ink-black hair. “Man, I have no idea what to tell you.” She paused. “You’re not going to tell Rick, are you?”
My stomach plummeted at the thought of him finding out. “Oh no. Absolutely not.”
She gnawed her lip. “I can’
t decide if that’s good or bad. I mean, on one hand, you want to be honest with the guy. On the other…”
“Yeah.” I rubbed the bridge of my nose. “Fuck. If we were just wrapping up a project or two with his company, I might be able to suck it up for a little while. We’re looking at years of Mitchell & Forsyth and Horizon Developing working together, though.” I dropped my hand and sat up a bit, stretching my back as all the muscles tried to knot up at once. “And the thing is, I’ve seen how court cases can play out. Even if the law’s on my side, the judicial system might not be. Just the process of taking them to court could bankrupt me. That’s part of why my ex-wife is living with me. Her asshole ex did everything he could to drag it all out until she’d lost almost everything.”
“Unless you find someone who’ll do it pro bono.”
“There’s that.” I rested my elbow on the table and chewed my thumbnail. “Even then, I could lose. This could drag out for months, and I’ll be fucked for a job during that time.”
“Which isn’t good when your prospects are already sketchy.”
“Exactly. The good ol’ boys talk, and I might be a bit hard-pressed to find another firm in this town that’ll hire a modeler who’s creeping up on fifty and just sued another firm because of a situation involving him having sex with a high-powered client.” Jesus. Just thinking about all this was exhausting. “So yeah, I could take the firm to court and get them in the balls, but what will happen to me? And everyone else who works with us?”
Teagan nodded. “Yeah, I hear ya. There’s no easy solution, that’s for sure.” With a cautious grin, she added, “Kind of ironic that a firm run by homophobes is making one of their employees sleep with a client. Who’s fucking who up the ass, you know?”
I laughed, though it took some work. “Anyone ever tell you what a classy fucking broad you are?”
“Nope.” She sipped her drink. “And I don’t imagine you’re going to start, are you?”
“Not in this lifetime.”
“That’s what I thought.”
I scrubbed both hands over my face, and then let them drop into my lap. “So, I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
“I wish I had some advice for you.”
“It’s okay. Just having someone to talk to helps.”