Ruby, who thought she was clean out of tears, started crying again. Brett handed her a tissue.
“Okay.” Ruby closed her eyes, letting her tears fall. Please be no more than a year. She couldn’t bring herself to tell him she wanted him to return soon. He didn’t need the pressure. “I tried, Steve. I really tried to talk to Lydia for you. But I think she may need more time. I’ll keep persevering though. I promise. At the moment she’s angry and thinks you did it as a joke. I told her you love her.”
“I know, Ruby. And I love you, too. Miss you already, bossing me about.”
She laughed. “I love you, too. And miss you. Who’s going to make me coffee in the morning?” Steve chuckled. “Just don’t take too long to come home. I hate that I never got to give you your Christmas present.” She looked at the tree – Brett had moved it back and tidied it up – with presents all placed around it ready for Christmas Day.
“Promise me you’ll stay in our house, not that rabbit hutch down the road. That’s the best present you can give me. It’s your home.”
“I will. I promise.”
“Okay, I better go. Take care of yourself.”
“You too.”
Ruby threw her phone back onto the coffee table, grabbed another tissue out of the box Brett was holding, and blew her nose. Curling back into the foetal position on the sofa, Brett curled in behind her. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it.
“I’m here for you, Ruby. I know it’s not the same, and you’ll miss him. But I just want you to know that. Okay?”
“Thank you.” Ruby snuggled closer to Brett. She knew Steve would be back, they’d regained so much, got so much closer, he wouldn’t let the distance grow in their relationship again. But there was an empty space in her heart, a sadness because she didn’t know when she’d see him again. His intentions might be good, but his schedule could get in the way.
However, she loved Brett too. He did fill some of that gap, making the ache that bit less painful. With his arm wrapped around her, cuddling and gently stroking her skin along her wrist, she felt safe and secure. Loved. Time would heal and everything would be all right. Maybe in a few months, she’d get brave and pluck up the courage to ask Brett to move in. Share this big house with her; make it a family home again, like Steve wanted, and as Mum would have wanted, too.
But she wouldn’t rush it. She stared at the Christmas tree, and the presents that were scattered beneath it. This house wouldn’t see a family Christmas yet.
***
What a way to spend Christmas Eve. Miserable, Steve settled down across some chairs in Dublin’s airport, deciding he wanted to stay airside. He’d turned his phone off for now, fearing the battery dying. It was already low. He folded and tucked his jacket to make a pillow and held his arms around him to keep his hands warm. Great research if he ever played a part as a tramp. Someone else was attempting to sleep a few rows along, so this wasn’t abnormal behaviour. Only for an A-list celebrity. Yes, he could afford a hotel, but at the moment, he didn’t feel like answering any of the press’ questions – he quite possibly wouldn’t be very polite. He had a few choice words he’d really like to get off his chest.
Firstly, he needed to get his story straight in his head before talking to them, otherwise they would spin it into some mid-life crisis. Would wanting to spend quality, private time with his sister be viable enough?
He could hear the questions now, “Steve Mason, explain the off the peg suits and glasses.”
He shifted. The seats, albeit padded, didn’t remain comfortable for long. The lights were bright, and although the airport wasn’t currently busy, there were people noisily meandering. Last look in the mirror in the gents loos told Steve he was highly unlikely to get recognised. He looked rough. He needed a shave. If only by morning he’d have a beard to fully disguise him – but unfortunately his facial hair didn’t grow that fast. Even without his glasses, which now he wondered if he should have kept, he hoped he didn’t look like himself.
Maybe he should just buy a book and sit in a coffee shop…His eyes were demanding forty winks. Closing his eyes felt like the only way to ease his throbbing head, and soften the ache in his chest.
Ruby, Lydia, Lydia, Lydia…his thoughts were like a big wheel, going round and round and not stopping. He missed his sister, his girlfriend, and his new friends.
He’d try counting sheep, clearing his mind, counting one sheep jumping the stile, then the next, and the next…
Abruptly, Steve stirred to a hum of Irish voices.
“Twenty euro’s it’s him,” said a male voice.
“The man should have his privacy,” a soft Irish female voice replied.
“Yeah, but what’s he doing here?”
Steve heard a shutter noise. And looked up to see a young guy with spiky blond hair pointing his phone at him, taking pictures.
“Hey!” Steve said more angrily than intended, not happy about being woken up. What time was it? How long had he slept? You couldn’t tell if it was night or day in the airport; the lighting didn’t change. He had hoped it would be more like five a.m. or seven. Glancing at his watch though, he was disappointed to see it was only two a.m. He groaned, rubbing his stubble.
Standing around him were four young adults, around their late teens early twenties, each carrying a rucksack and geared for travelling.
“Are you Steve Mason?” another Irish girl asked quickly.
“What?” Steve almost didn’t catching the question. His brain caught up. “Yeah,” he replied groggily, realising as soon as he’d said it he should have denied it.
“Told you!” One nudged another and the group whispered between them.
“Please can I have your autograph?” The girl fumbled in her bag.
“What did you do with that picture?” Steve asked the guy still thumbing his phone.
The young man winced. “I’ve put it on Twitter.”
“Great.” Steve stood, and stretched out his aching back. A bed of nails would have been comfier. Next time, Steve, get a hotel. “Right, who wants coffee with me?”
“You’re buying?” said the young lad holding the phone.
“Yes, I’m buying, as long as no more pictures go on the internet.”
“You got yourself a deal, mister.” He tucked his phone into the back pocket of his faded jeans.
As Steve walked towards the coffee shop, grateful it was open all hours. The four backpackers followed excitedly.
“You know, you don’t look as good as in your photos,” said one of the girls. Steve frowned, finding it hard to tune into the strong Irish accent. He really needed that coffee.
“She means you look fecked, mister,” one of the lads said.
“Gee, thanks.”
Chapter 29
Monday 6th January
Lydia didn’t return to work on her first day back after Christmas, calling in sick. She wouldn’t speak much on the phone, and Ruby didn’t push it. She knew well enough what sickness Lydia suffered and decided to give her time. Lydia would still need her job, and as Ruby felt partly the cause, she would be lenient. Lydia was not only a work colleague, but through Steve, they’d become closer friends. It pained Ruby to think they were both hurting.
Even Ruby hurt. She missed her brother. It felt like losing her mum all over again. Though she told herself frequently she was being silly because Steve was alive and well in LA, his normal life resumed – which was far from normal for Ruby. She would see him again, and he was at the other end of a phone. Mum was not. Although she’d spent the majority of her Christmas being comforted by Brett, it had still been crap. She’d longed for a family Christmas, and it hadn’t happened.
“Have you heard from…Steve?” Alice knocked on Ruby’s office door, her glossy, chestnut hair in a chignon and make-up immaculate, ready for another day working in the spa. Her question had been hesitant, as if still unsure to call him Steve or Stuart. She probably felt some guilt, that the messy departure of Steve was partly her fault, that u
nwittingly she’d let slip about Ruby’s brother being at the hotel to Terry. Ruby tried to reassure Alice that she didn’t blame her. Terry had duped Ruby once, so he could easily have done it again with Alice. He knew how to use his charm to get what he wanted. It didn’t stop the whispering and rumours circulating the hotel, and Ruby was grateful of Alice’s loyalty. Of all the people, Alice understood why Steve had disguised himself.
Ruby shook her head. “No more than I’ve already told you. He arrived in LA unscathed after a night slumming it in Dublin airport, and his agent and PA have been working to minimise the damage.”
Callum stood beside her and nodded while Alice replied, “Okay, well, you know where we are if you need us, Ruby.”
“Yeah, Ruby.” Callum winked. “And tell him, I miss him.”
“Ah, Callum, of course. I’m sure he’s missing you, too.” Ruby giggled. “We all miss him. Thank you.”
The week plodded on, with still no sign of Lydia, so Ruby shifted the reception duties around. Fortunately, Maxine wanted more shifts. On a daily basis, Ruby phoned Lydia but it always went to her voicemail.
“Lydia, it’s Ruby. Look, just phoning to see how you are. Call me if you need to talk. Your job is safe, I understand you need some time off. We’re all thinking of you and want to see you back at the hotel soon.”
Give her time, Ruby thought, putting her phone down, trying to shake off her own doldrums. The way Steve had suddenly left before Christmas, plus January’s miserable arrival, had made it harder for her to concentrate on work. Ruby had not been in the partying mood for the New Year, she hadn’t even bothered watching the fireworks at midnight on the telly.
January was a depressing month most years, but this year was exceptional.
***
Friday 10th January
“Come on, Steve, cheer up!” Karl handed Steve another glass of champagne he’d swiped from a passing waiter. Another Hollywood party, another celebration in the industry. Only Steve didn’t feel like celebrating. The richly furnished room buzzed; live music, familiar faces, glitzy frocks, tuxedos and champagne. Steve usually enjoyed a party, but tonight it was closing in on him, as if he was stuck in a lift.
Lydia wasn’t answering his calls. He hadn’t seen her in over two weeks, hadn’t heard her voice. The asshole who said it’s ‘better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all’ obviously hadn’t really loved and lost in Steve’s opinion. Steve would rather not be feeling this miserable. He’d rather live in ignorance of how love felt. However, he would agree absence made the heart grow fonder, because he couldn’t stop thinking about her. As soon as his life quietened down, and there was a lull in his schedule, Lydia would be the first person to pop into his thoughts. He missed her. But was she missing him, or was she back to her life, life before Steve? Had the drawings in her sketchpad changed from him to a new person, a new obsession?
Did she hate him, because he’d lied?
“I’m sorry, Karl,” Steve said, sipping his champagne, trying to focus on his agent, and not everything else going on in the room. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come tonight.”
“No, you needed the night out, besides I have some good news.”
“What news?”
“I’ve managed to get you on a chat show in England. You look like you need to go back.”
“When? How soon?” Steve couldn’t believe his ears. He’d wanted to fly back as soon as he’d landed to make things right with Lydia again, but unfortunately, it was all down to his schedule when he could return. But now it looked like Karl was making his wish come true. “Yeah, you could say I have some loose ends to tie up.”
“Don’t get too excited yet. I’m trying to pull a few strings as we say.” Karl nudged Steve and winked. “What’s the point of being in this business if we can’t?” He laughed heartily, Steve found it infectious and started smiling, his spirits lifting. “They had someone drop out, and I figured you could do with some positive publicity. I’ll let you know as soon as I know more.”
“Thanks, Karl. You’re a good friend.”
“And a great agent,” Karl chuckled. “You know, all those years ago, when I first saw your portfolio, I knew you had potential to be big.”
“I’ll always be grateful, Karl,” Steve said.
“Hey, you and I go back a long way. I like you. A lot. Now stop before we start getting mushy.”
Steve relaxed a little, maybe it was the champagne, or maybe because he wasn’t very good at staying in a bad mood. Plus, he was in Hollywood, and his career was important to him. He needed to mingle and network, not mope about feeling sorry for himself.
“Right, I need to catch up with an old friend.” Karl gestured to a couple of men in tuxedos, deep in conversation. He patted Steve on the back. “Have some fun, and I’ll catch you later.”
Steve nodded, resolved to enjoy the rest of the party. However, he didn’t expect to bump into the one person he wasn’t sure how he’d react to; Erica Kealey.
“Steve,” Erica said, holding the hand of her new boyfriend – fiancé if the press were to be believed. Assholes doing whatever it took to be the first for a story – had they invaded Erica’s privacy to get the scoop? “It’s good to see you.”
“Erica,” Steve said. “You look great.” And she did, in another stunning outfit that accentuated her slim figure. His insides jolted, but it wasn’t for Erica. Seeing Erica heightened how much he missed Lydia and wanted her by his side.
“Thank you. You look fabulous, too,” Erica said, politely. “This is Marco.”
Steve shook Marco’s hand, smiling, his best dazzling Hollywood smile. Marco was welcome to Erica. He didn’t feel jealousy as he feared he might. In fact he felt happiness for them.
“I understand you were in England for a while,” Erica said. Was she prying or just making conversation?
“Yeah, yeah, I wanted to catch up with my sister, Ruby.” And find the love of my life after you’d broken my heart. But he was over Erica now. Really over her. But would he ever get over Lydia?
He certainly wasn’t donning another goddamn disguise.
***
Sunday 12th January
The house was dark, and Ruby’s landline phone was ringing. Initially she cursed, thinking she’d forgotten to put her mobile on silent, then, realising it wasn’t her mobile, she’d hurried downstairs, still bleary-eyed. Fumbling, she switched on the lights, squinting at the initial brightness, then shivered because the house was cold. The phone silenced its annoying ringing as she picked it up.
“Hello,” she mumbled sleepily, with a slight conscious effort to hide her impatience.
“Oh, crap, sorry, Ruby, but I really needed to talk to you.”
Ruby caught the time on the clock in the hallway. Two a.m. Technically, no longer Saturday night, and more like Sunday morning.
“It’s okay.”
“She won’t answer my calls, Ruby. She won’t answer them.”
Ruby rubbed her eyes, trying to wake up at the distressed sound of Steve’s voice. If he was calling Lydia at this time of the morning too, she could understand why she wasn’t answering the phone.
“If I’ve blown this… Shit, I don’t want to have blown this. I think about her every goddamn day.” Steve’s American twang had returned. “I love her, Ruby. I love her. Lydia’s the one.”
“Steve, she’s been off work the past couple of weeks, she’s not answering my calls either, or returning them. We’ve got to give her time.”
“Go round. Talk to her. Tell her I love her. I’ll be back soon. When I know more details I will let you know, but you’ve got to make her see that I love her.”
“Okay, okay.” Ruby blinked, trying to clear the sleep out of her eyes.
“Shit, I’m sorry. Are you okay? How’s things? Glad you’re in this house.”
“I made you a promise. Though occasionally I do go and check on Daphne.”
“Send Daphne my love. And how’s it going with Brett?”
/> Nodding with the phone tucked to her ear, Ruby sat on the bottom step of the stairs, using her free arm to hug herself. “It’s going good. Actually, I don’t know what I would’ve done without him. He’s been my rock. He helped me take down all the decorations and tidied the house, too.” She sighed. “I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.”
“However much I love hearing the sound of your voice, can I go back to bed now? I have work today.” Ruby said and Steve chuckled. “I’ll try and call in on Lydia soon and I’ll let you know how I get on.”
“Okay, thank you.”
“Can’t promise anything though.”
“I know. But please try.”
***
Wednesday 15th January 2014
Ruby pressed the doorbell, then rattled the letterbox.
“Lydia, I know you’re in there. Please let me in,” she shouted through the letterbox. Unless she’d gone for a walk or caught the bus, Lydia’s classic VW Beetle was parked outside her house.
Ruby stood outside the door, stamping her feet and waving her arms, patting herself. Why’d she pick the coldest night in January to do this?
“Lydia, I’m not going anywhere. In fact if you don’t answer this door soon, you’ll have to call an ambulance, I’m freezing my nuts off out here…If I had nuts that is…” Ruby trailed off. “Oh, please let me in! It’s dark out here.” And Ruby didn’t like the dark, although at half five in the evening it wasn’t so scary.
Ruby sighed thankfully as she heard the front door being unlocked, and Lydia’s face peering around the door. A tabby cat shot from out of nowhere behind Ruby and darted inside the house. Lydia looked pale and sad, not wearing a trace of make-up, and yet her skin still looked flawless. A twinge of jealousy hit Ruby – she always felt she had to at least wear mascara and lip gloss – but she could see why Steve had fallen for Lydia. Ruby, deep down, had always hoped he would.
Still rubbing her hands, and stamping her feet to emphasise the cold, Ruby said, “Hi, Lydia, do you mind if I come in?” Lydia looked reluctant. “Please? We are friends aren’t we? I need to talk to you.”
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