by Renee Ryan
Not that he’d win that particular argument, but Wolf’s commitment to his promise showed what sort of man he was deep at his core.
With another twist of his wrist, he slowed the motorcycle so he could take the off-ramp that fed into Savannah’s historic district.
The moment they turned onto Liberty, Hailey sighed. Her ride was drawing to an end.
Traffic was light at this time of year. That didn’t mean there weren’t tourists. They passed three separate walking tours in less than five city blocks.
Determined to squeeze every ounce of pleasure out of this adventure, Hailey tried to look at the downtown from a visitor’s perspective. She knew the draw was the city’s rich history and unique architecture. But to her, Savannah was simply home. The only one she’d ever known.
She would miss living here when she left for the Middle East. The city had a quirkiness and charm that couldn’t be found in any other place in the world. Once she became a full-time missionary, Hailey would have to leave everything and everyone she loved behind.
She fought back a frown, but couldn’t stop the wave of sadness that coursed through her veins.
Wolf pulled the motorcycle to a stop in front of her house and her mood took another turn for the worse. Feeling apprehensive, she climbed off the bike and then yanked off her helmet with a little more force than necessary.
“Why don’t you come inside,” she said, eyeing Wolf carefully. “Once we order the pizza I’ll grab my laptop and you can cue up whatever it was you wanted to show me.”
Wolf looked up at her house. A shadow of unease crossed his face, but then he gave one firm nod of agreement. “Yeah, okay. It might be better to do this here. Where you’re comfortable.”
At his businesslike manner a shiver of foreboding passed through her. Worse, the tension was back between them. Suspecting what he planned to show her, Hailey doubted the evening would end on a high note. And that was the real shame here.
Sitting alone at Hailey’s kitchen table, Wolf waited for her to return with her laptop. His hunger had all but disappeared. And with each passing second, his doubts increased.
Maybe this wasn’t the best time to show Hailey the video montage he’d found on the Internet. When the idea had first occurred to him, his primary goal had been to scare her into staying home.
Now, he wasn’t sure he wanted to frighten her. Not like this. But how else could he convince her of the dangers she would face in the Middle East? Reason hadn’t worked. So far the survival classes hadn’t done the trick. Even his well-thought-out pleas had fallen on deaf ears.
Wolf was out of ideas.
So here he sat, rubbing his aching leg, preparing to fight dirty. But what else could he do? Walk away? Not going to happen.
He tapped his knee with an impatient drumming of his fingers, wishing Hailey would return soon. The picture of her and Clay still hung on her refrigerator. The sight of all that happiness, now lost forever, was a bold reminder of why Wolf had to resort to shock tactics in order to bring Hailey into compliance with her brother’s wishes.
Glancing at the photograph, it struck him once again just how different the tuxedoed Clay was from the fearless soldier Wolf remembered. The guy in the picture looked younger, more carefree, on the brink of continuing the O’Brien legacy.
Hailey looked equally charmed and ready to take her place in the world, as well. In that brief snapshot in time, the future was full of possibilities for them both.
Then Clay had gone off to war. And everything had changed.
Guilt weighed like a stone in Wolf’s gut. Had Clay survived the IED instead of him, would he be the one sitting in this kitchen waiting for his sister to return? Perhaps they’d be planning Clay’s next career move, Hailey’s unconditional support making the choices seem endless.
What would it be like to have that kind of woman in his life, a woman who knew what loyalty and permanence meant?
Wolf had no answer to the question. The mere suggestion was beyond his comprehension. How could a man whose own mother hadn’t wanted him ever understand a woman like Hailey and what it would take to make her happy?
Before he could ponder the question, Hailey returned and joined him at the table.
“We have at least thirty minutes before the pizza arrives.” She slid a high-end laptop computer toward him. “It’s booted up. What did you want to show me?”
Against his better judgment, Wolf held Hailey’s gaze a moment too long. She wasn’t exactly scowling, but her eyes were bright and full of apprehension, as though she sensed what was about to come. With all that emotion brimming in her gaze, she looked far too young to head into a war zone.
If the insurgents got hold of her, they would…they would…
Wolf shook the thought away with a fierce jerk of his head.
He hated what he was about to do, but he hated the idea of this beautiful, untouched woman heading into danger even more.
He swallowed back the last of his misgivings and lowered his gaze to the computer.
A few keystrokes later he found the Web site he wanted. Two more clicks and the video montage was ready to go.
“Okay. We’re all set.” He glanced over at Hailey again. “I’m going to show you a few scenarios similar to the one where your brother died.”
“Wolf, no.” Panic filled her gaze. “I don’t need to see how Clay died. He’s with the Lord now, and that’s all that matters. It’s not important how he got there.”
“Unfortunately, how he died is important.” Wolf covered her hand with his. The idea of losing her to the violence of the Middle East was enough to steal his breath. “I’m sorry, Hailey, I can’t let either of us forget why I sought you out in the first place.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, took a deep breath and then slowly nodded. “Okay, fine. Let’s just get this over with.”
“It’s for the best,” he said, trying to convince himself as much as her.
But for the first time since Clay’s death, Wolf felt the stirrings of genuine anger. Not guilt but anger, bordering on fury. Why had his friend put him in this impossible situation?
If Wolf kept Hailey out of the Middle East, she could easily end up bitter, perhaps never forgiving him for taking away her dream, as misguided as it was. On the other hand, if she did make it to the Sandpit, she could just as easily lose her life to a random act of violence. Or worse.
As bad as either scenario was, Wolf knew his duty.
With a surprisingly steady hand, he pressed the Enter key. An image from a homemade video filled the screen.
No turning back now.
Hailey held her breath as Wolf swung the computer to face her again. She braced against the emotions bubbling inside her, with little success.
Relax, relax, relax, she told herself, but she couldn’t hold back the sick feeling of panic whirling in her stomach.
Wolf wasn’t playing fairly.
Nevertheless, Hailey would endure this terrible moment. And then she would get through the next. And then the next, holding steady through the entire process until Wolf shut off the computer.
Blinking hard, she took in the scene playing out on the screen. A soft gasp flew from her lips.
The video Wolf had cued up had been taken from atop a military transport vehicle, one that had an upper deck large enough to hold several heavily armed soldiers.
The picture quality was terrible. And there was no audio to speak of, other than the grind of the truck’s engine and some off-color bantering between the men. It was the kind of good-natured ribbing Clay and his friends used to give one another while watching University of Georgia football games.
But how could the soldiers be so carefree? Didn’t they know what was about to happen?
Her heart constricted painfully in her chest. How was she going to watch these men die?
She wanted to rail at Wolf for making her sit through this. She glanced over at him, ready to tell him what she thought of his underhanded tactics, but then she noti
ced the tense look on his face. He didn’t want to watch this video any more than she did.
“Why are you putting us through this?” she asked, more than a little angry at him.
“Because you need to see for yourself the sort of danger you’re heading into.” Determination exuded out of him.
“There are other ways,” she whispered.
“If I thought that were true we wouldn’t be sitting here now.”
Frowning, she returned her gaze to the screen and braced for the inevitable explosion.
The image was bumpier now that the highway had turned into a long stretch of uneven pavement.
One moment the soldiers were driving along, with an endless expanse of desert flanking each side of the road, the next moment…
Boom!
The camera jerked.
And then the image blurred, fading to black.
Unfortunately, the audio still worked. “Get out, get out, get out,” someone yelled.
The soldiers were still alive. “Thank God,” Hailey murmured.
But before she could discover their ultimate fate, Wolf reached over and clicked the Enter key again.
The image disappeared. Only to be replaced by another.
This one was from the same camera angle, but the truck moved at a snail’s pace along a city street amid heavy civilian traffic.
“That’s Baghdad,” Wolf told her.
Hailey ignored him, her gaze riveted to the screen. Hot tears of frustration filled her eyes. Why couldn’t she look away?
She didn’t have long to ponder before another…
Boom!
This time, the explosion came from several yards up ahead of the military vehicle. The sound of screeching tires was all Hailey caught before Wolf clicked a button and another video began.
She sat through three more explosions before she slammed the laptop shut and glared at Wolf. “Enough.”
Conviction flickered over his harsh features, but Hailey also saw the haunted look below the hard emotion. The videos had disturbed him as much as they had her.
She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off. “Now do you see how dangerous it is over there?”
The grief in him was palpable. Clearly, this hideous little exercise had backfired on him. And now he was the one most disturbed by the explosions, both guilt-ridden and filled with regret. The poor man needed redemption. What he didn’t understand was the Lord had already given it to him. He just hadn’t accepted it yet.
The instinct to push him down the path toward healing made Hailey speak too quickly, with little finesse. “All you managed to prove was how random the violence is over there. In fact, the only similarity I saw in those five videos was the haphazard nature of the explosions.”
A muscle shifted in his jaw. “That wasn’t my point.”
Oh, she knew what his point had been. “Regardless. That’s what I’m taking away from this. And so should you. The death of your men was not your fault, Wolf. Please, hear me.” She pinned him with her stare. “It wasn’t your fault.”
For a tense moment he just sat there, blinking at her with a glazed look in his eyes. Then he lowered his head and a shiver ran through him. It didn’t take all three of Hailey’s college degrees to figure out Wolf was back in the desert, grappling with painful memories.
“This isn’t about me.” His head snapped up and he looked fully aware of his surroundings. Too aware. “Why won’t you accept how dangerous the region is?” He all but growled the question at her.
“I’m not an imbecile. I know it’s dangerous over there. But I won’t cower my way through life. Not anymore.” She stood, slapped her palms on the table and glared down at him. “If I die over there, then I die. But at least I’ll know I gave my life serving the Lord.”
“No.” Making a sound of anguish deep in his throat, Wolf rose from the table and yanked her into his arms. “You can’t die. Not on my watch.”
Hearing the fear in his voice, she pressed her cheek against his chest and sighed. “Oh, Wolf, don’t you see? If I stay here, I’ll die a slow death of the soul, from a life of superficiality and meaninglessness. Short-term trips to places like Jamaica and Haiti aren’t enough. I have to make a bigger commitment.”
“I don’t buy that.” He shoved away from her. The rush of hostility on his face chilled her to the marrow. “There is nothing in the Bible that says you have to climb on an airplane to serve the Lord. You can serve right here, in Savannah. I know of several soup kitchens and at least one homeless shelter that could use your help tomorrow, if not sooner.”
Technically he was correct. But in Hailey’s case “climbing on an airplane” was the only way for her to achieve her goal, the only way to honor Clay’s sacrifice.
She had to make him understand. “Wolf, please, let’s sit back down and start this conversation over.”
His expression darkened. “We’ve both said enough for one night.”
He spun away from her and left the kitchen without another word.
Oh, no. He wasn’t getting off that easily.
“Don’t run away from me,” she said. “We had too good of a time today to end on this harsh note.”
He stopped, unmoving, practically frozen in midstep. “You’re right. We did have a good day together.” He heaved a sigh. “But I need time to think about everything you’ve said. Give me that, Hailey.”
She reached up to touch his back, but stopped short, her fingers hovering just shy of making a connection.
“Okay, I’ll leave you alone.” For now, she added silently to herself.
Keeping his gaze averted, he shrugged into his jacket. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
In the next heartbeat, he was gone.
Chapter Eleven
He didn’t call.
Not the next day, like he’d said. Or the next. Or even the next. Nearly an entire week passed without a word from Wolf. Hailey tried not to take his silence personally. After all, she’d given him a lot to think about. Nevertheless, she couldn’t help wondering…
Why hadn’t he called?
She felt her eyes go a little weepy as she watched him conduct the second half of their weekly survival class. He hadn’t looked at her once in the last thirty minutes. In fact, he hadn’t looked at her at all since she’d arrived. Coupled with his authoritative tone and systematic manner he’d adopted for tonight’s lesson, Wolf might as well be a complete stranger to her.
More than a little irritated, Hailey abandoned all pretense of paying attention to his detailed explanation on how to build a fire and moved to the back of the classroom. She felt better, more in control, now that she was standing rather than sitting.
Perched against the wall, she followed Wolf with her gaze. Her heart tripped at the sight of him moving casually through the room as he spoke. He was almost feline in his movement, like a big jungle cat on the hunt. As if to add to the untamed picture, he wore all black tonight—black jeans, black shirt, black leather jacket.
Talk about fighting dirty.
Why did the man have to be that attractive, and that appealing, when all Hailey wanted to do was ignore him?
She deserved to be angry at him. She had that right. Or so she told herself. But all she really felt was sad. And maybe a little lonely.
She’d opened her heart to Wolf, and she’d thought he’d opened his as well, at least a little. He wouldn’t have shared the story of his painful childhood if he didn’t have feelings for her. She knew him well enough to know he was too private of a person to open his soul to just anyone.
But she wasn’t sure their relationship would ever progress beyond an awkward friendship.
Not with his promise to Clay standing between them.
“You’re scowling.”
Hailey jerked at the sound of the softly spoken words, barely audible but discernible all the same. She hadn’t heard J.T. join her. Then again, he was another one who moved with catlike grace, despite his disability.
Sighing over t
he interruption, she rolled her gaze in his direction. “I’m not scowling. I’m just paying very close attention to the lesson.”
J.T. didn’t look convinced. “Okay.”
“I am.”
“Sure. Sure.” He had the audacity to smirk. “Whatever you say, Hailey.”
“J.T. I—” She slammed her mouth shut. This was ridiculous, carrying on an argument in hushed tones. Especially when Hailey had far more important matters on her mind, like how to break through the invisible wall Wolf had erected between them.
She wanted to be left alone to think. Although…
Given his history, maybe J.T. could shed some light on Wolf’s recent change in behavior.
She motioned him to follow her into the hallway.
Once they were out of earshot of the class, J.T. broke the silence first. “What’s wrong, Hailey?”
His question took her by surprise. “Who said anything was wrong?”
“I know you well enough to know when something’s bothering you.” He gave her one of his shrewd pastor looks. “Or maybe I should say…someone.”
By the practical no-nonsense tone of his voice, it was clear J.T. was firmly entrenched in the role of pastor. Under the circumstances, that worked for Hailey. “You’re right. I am upset.”
“Is it Wolf?”
She answered truthfully. “Yes.”
“What has he done?”
“He’s done nothing. Nothing at all.” And wasn’t that the real problem here?
That Wolf was allowing his promise to Clay to overshadow everything else between them, to the point of completely shutting Hailey out now that they’d come to yet another impasse?
Although Hailey admired Wolf’s commitment to her brother, she sensed his guilt was the driving force behind his actions as much as his inner sense of integrity.
J.T. shifted next to her, the movement drawing her eyes to his injured leg. A silent reminder of his own tragic past. “You and Wolf have been hanging out, right?”
“A little.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “We’ve had a few lunches together, discussed the survival classes, stuff like that.”