by Katee Robert
But that was later, after she’d eaten something and got a little more water into her. He slid the slice of pizza across the table. “That’s bullshit.”
“What’s bullshit?”
“You’re on a party cruise and drunk before noon. I would hardly call that responsible and uptight.”
She gave him a slow smile that lit up her face. A man could go blind from the way she beamed at him, the same way he could go blind by staring into the sun. Kendall picked up the pizza. “You really think so?”
“I know so. I run a bar. I know exciting when I see it.” Even if that was exactly the thing he tried to avoid in Pop’s. Excitement usually translated to drama and bullshit and, when his luck was particularly bad, into bar fights. Alex worked hard to draw in a different clientele, to boost the reputation of Pop’s and bring it into this new hipster era that seemed like it wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. It meant fewer bar fights and more drinks thrown in assholes’ faces on first dates, but that was a trade-off Alex was more than happy to make.
She ate for a few minutes, and he thought she’d moved on, but when Kendall finally set her half-eaten slice down and sat back, she blinked at him. “You own a bar?”
“No.” The word burned like a physical thing on his tongue, but he ignored the sensation just like he ignored it every other time he answered this question. “My grandfather owns it. He’s just enjoying his retirement in Mexico and so I run it for him now.”
She tilted her head to the side, her long fall of dark brown hair sliding over her shoulder. “It’s hard to let go of them, huh?”
The empathy in those big green eyes hit him like a shot to the chest. He absently rubbed the spot as if he could soothe away the sudden ache there. “What are you talking about?”
“Grams died while I was in college.” Her full lower lip quivered before she steadied herself. “It’s not the same thing, but I miss her every day.”
Alex sat back. What was he supposed to say to that? Yeah, he missed Pops, but the missing was all tangled up in abandonment and responsibility and other shit he wasn’t about to dig into. He didn’t begrudge the old man his retirement. Not exactly. “I miss him, too.” That, at least, was the truth. The rest of it could stay internal. This woman needed to be taken care of right now, not to have him pour his emotional bullshit all over her.
He nodded at her plate. “You good?”
“If I eat any more, I’m going to burst.”
Somehow, he doubted that, but from the way her blinks kept getting longer and longer, if he didn’t get her out of that chair immediately, she’d pass out right here and now. “I’ll walk you back to your cabin.”
“That’s either sweet or super creepy.” She let him tug her to her feet and slid under his arm as if she had every right to be there. He wasn’t sure she was wrong, at least in this moment. It felt nice to have her tucked against him, even if the only reason she was there was because she was too fucking drunk to walk on her own.
Alex led her away from the table and looked around. “Which way?”
She rattled off her room number, completely oblivious that it was rule number one in personal safety—don’t just give that fucking information out. God, she was like a baby foal right now, all fumbling movements and blind trust. It made him want to wrap her up and tuck her away until the bristling woman with the prickly walls came back. She wouldn’t blithely give out personal information to a near-stranger.
By the time they got to Kendall’s room, he was half carrying her. He helped her unlock the door, but when he went to release her, she nearly fell on her face. Okay, this wasn’t going to work. He cast a look around, but the only person in the hall was some dude six doors doing who gave him a thumbs up like carting some semi-unconscious woman into a room was a good thing. Alex glared until the guy turned on his heel and fled. He waited another minute, but no one else showed up, let alone one of the people who’d been at her table having drinks the night before.
There was no help for it. He sighed. “Guess I’m on babysitting duty for a little while longer.”
Chapter 5
Kendall was pretty sure something had died in her mouth while she slept. Her tongue felt fuzzy, too. Maybe she had contracted one of those horrible diseases that they tried so hard to keep from spreading through a cruise ship? The thought had her opening her eyes and shooting up to a sitting position.
Or attempting to.
Her head pounded and why was the light so freaking bright? She threw her hands over her eyes. “Oh god, why?”
“Best guess? Vodka.”
The male voice next to her had her reacting before her brain caught up with the fact she recognized it. Kendall flew backward and would have tumbled off the edge of the mattress if a hand didn’t close on her wrist and haul her back to relative safety.
Though she hardly called being on her bed with I’ll-give-you-an-orgasm-with-all-your-clothes-on Alex… She didn’t even know his last name. God, she really had embraced this party cruise thing a little too hard and they were only twenty-four hours in.
She looked down at herself. Her bikini was still covering the essentials. A close look at him found him in a pair of shorts and a truly absurd Hawaiian print button-down. “What’s going on with your shirt?”
He looked at it and grimaced. “Pops’s style has changed more than a bit since he retired.”
Some of the fog on her brain shifted, and she remembered him mentioning his grandfather. “I thought he retired to Mexico, not Hawaii.”
“Don’t try to think of it from a logical point of view. I gave up years ago.”
“Okay,” she said slowly. “Let’s try another one. Why are you in my cabin?” They hadn’t had sex. She knew they hadn’t had sex. Kendall flinched as another memory emerged; her telling him that he could seduce her. “Actually, hold that thought.” She all but sprinted into the little bathroom and shut the door.
One look in the mirror painted her as the mess she’d suspected she was. Her hair was tangled, her lips were chapped, and she had the worst breath in living memory. Kendall wasted no time brushing her teeth while she quickly cataloged her condition. No sunburn, thank goodness for the 100 SPF she’d coated herself with before laying out. Her headache had already faded a little, but the two Tylenol she popped the second she finished brushing her teeth would fix the rest of it.
The temptation to hide in the bathroom until Alex took a hint and left was strong—really strong—but she couldn’t repay his unexpected kindness by being a coward. No matter how much she wanted to. Kendall took a deep breath, allowed herself a full five seconds to regret the fact that she’d chosen a bikini instead of something that covered a bit more skin, and opened the door.
To find Alex standing a few inches away.
She bit down a shriek. “What are you doing?”
“You might not remember this, but you weren’t walking too well a few hours ago. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to bust down the door and save you. Again.” He searched her face, his blue eyes intense.
She must have had some residual alcohol swimming around in her system. It was the only excuse for her saying, “You are too gorgeous to be real.”
Alex grinned. “Saying stuff like that is a good way to convince me that you hit your head.”
Now was the time to walk him to the door and then spend an hour berating herself for her carelessness in getting drunk like that. So drunk she needed a near-stranger to take care of her. At least none of her friends had been there to witness it, but somehow that didn’t make it better. This whole trip was supposed to be to reconnect with them, and they’d managed a single dinner and drinks before they scattered to the winds.
Just like after college.
It wasn’t their fault, not really. The excursions and stuff didn’t start until tomorrow and they all had things they wanted to do on the ship. Begrudging them for doing those things instead of spending time with her was selfish. When the ground felt a little steadier under her feet, she’d stop feeling so ba
d about the whole thing.
Probably.
“What’s put that look on your face, sweetheart?” Alex frowned down at her, his perfect dark brows drawn together in a way she shouldn’t find charming, but she most definitely did. “You’ve got nothing to feel bad about. You’re on a party cruise, so getting a little tipsy and having the sun go to your head is to be expected. It was a little harmless fun, and you’re safe.”
He’d gone out of his way to ensure she was safe. Even now, when she was far too sober for her current thoughts, Alex wasn’t looking to press his advantage. He wanted to reassure her so she didn’t have a boatload of regrets for her shitty choices.
This guy really was something else. Something rare. Something she’d be an idiot to pass up, even if it was only a once in a lifetime kind of thing.
Kendall licked her lips, suddenly nervous. “Alex?”
“Yeah?” He still frowned at her like he was afraid she’d burst into tears or something.
Was she really going to do this? She opened her mouth to thank him and tell him to please leave, but those weren’t the words that rose in her throat. No, her id had fully taken over, and instead she said, “Take me to bed.”
He froze. She was pretty sure he stopped breathing entirely. “What?”
“Take—Take me to bed?” She couldn’t close the distance between them, wasn’t brave enough to use more than her words to put this offer on the table. Kendall might be feeling adrift and reckless, but even now, there were lines she couldn’t quite make herself cross. She took a shuddering breath. “I… I want you.”
Still, he looked at her as if he wasn’t sure she hadn’t downed a bottle of tequila in the few minutes she was in the bathroom. “Kendall—”
“Shut up and kiss me!”
They stared at each other in shock. Had she really just yelled at him like that? Anxiety rose in a wave, quickly followed by regret. She knew better than to put herself out like this. Alex had shown himself to be a legitimately not horrible person and here she was, demanding that he kiss her like some kind of monster. She opened her mouth to apologize.
Alex didn’t give her a chance to.
He closed the distance between them and slid his fingers through her hair, tilting her face up to his. She got a glimpse of something like agony in his blue eyes and then his mouth was on hers and she couldn’t focus on anything but the slow slide of his tongue unraveling her completely. How could he do more with a kiss than some of her past boyfriends had done with their entire bodies? She didn’t understand it.
That was almost enough to have her pulling back despite being the one to instigate this. She cautiously ran her hands up his chest. He wasn’t one of those men who possessed carved muscles and an unreal body. No, Alex was all too real. Her knees went a little weak and he caught her around her waist with one arm. The shock of skin on skin had her pulling her mouth from his. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Alex gave a wry smile. “You don’t do this kind of thing. I remember.”
God, she’d said that, hadn’t she? Kendall gripped his shirt and tried to think past the wild pounding of her heart. “That sounds really slut shame-y and I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t … let go. I don’t know how to.”
Instantly, his expression softened. “We don’t have to do anything, sweetheart.”
If she didn’t do something drastic, and do it soon, he’d walk out of her room because of misguided honor. Kendall tightened her grip on his shirt. “I didn’t mean it like that, either. I want to do stuff. I’m just going to be awkward and probably talk too much and ruin the moment.”
“I see.” He considered her. This guy might give off the bad boy vibe, but she’d never had a man listen the way he did, even in the few interactions they’d had. What other man would take care of her sloppy drunk self and stay until she woke up to ensure she was okay? None of the ones she’d dated.
If that wasn’t depressing, Kendall didn’t know what was.
Alex stroked her hip almost idly, still watching her closely. “Sex is still off the table.”
“What?”
“Yeah.” He nodded, almost as if talking to himself. “You’ve got to learn to walk before you start running. You’ll still regret it if we have sex now.”
She drew herself up. It would have worked a lot better if she wasn’t standing in her bare feet and only about as tall as his shoulder. Kendall didn’t care. She stoked the flicker of irritation, using it to shield something like hurt in her chest. “Alex, you’re really cool.”
“Thanks.”
“But don’t think for a second that you get to decide what I am and am not ready for. I’m an adult. If I regret something, I’ll own that, but you don’t get to make that call.”
“Fair.” He grinned. “Okay, how about a counterproposal?”
She narrowed her eyes, mock-glaring at him even as she tried not to smile. “I’ll consider making a counter-counterproposal once I hear your proposed terms.”
He stroked her hip again, letting his fingers play against her skin just above the ties of her swimsuit. “Let me make you feel good again. Just that.”
Her body zinged in response. She nodded a little too fast. “Deal.”
Alex’s chuckle vibrated through her. “Sweetheart, you’re shit at bargaining.”
“Am I?” She let him back her toward the bed. “Because I’m pretty sure I have an outstanding orgasm in my near future, so who’s the real winner?”
“Me,” he said seriously. And then he lifted her up and moved them both onto the bed. Kendall had exactly two seconds of Oh god, I shouldn’t be doing this and then Alex’s weight settled down on top of her and she nearly moaned. Forget sex, she was starved for human contact. If she wasn’t careful, she could fall asleep just like this, with this man anchoring her to earth. Alex leveraged himself up a little and took in her expression. “What are you thinking?”
“That you’re the sexiest gravity blanket in existence.”
He laughed. A full, deep laugh that rolled through her like a bell tolling. “That would be some side hustle.”
“You could make a fortune.” She reached up, feeling tentative all of a sudden, and touched the buttons on the front of his Hawaiian shirt. “Can I?”
“Go for it.”
She undid them quickly despite her shaking hands. It took a little maneuvering to get the shirt off him completely, but then Alex settled fully against her, so much of his skin against so much of hers. This time, she couldn’t hold back a moan. Mortification heated her cheeks and spread across her chest. No way he missed the way she’d gone beet red, but Alex just laid a series of gentle kisses along her jaw and down her neck. “You don’t take care of yourself.”
“I…” Her breath hitched when he nibbled on the spot where her neck met her shoulder. “Sure I do.”
“Nope.” He traced down the line of her bikini top with his mouth but bypassed her breasts to kiss down her stomach. “Maybe you take care of your body, but you hold yourself apart. It hurts you.”
His words struck far too close to home. She propped herself up on her elbows. “I signed up for orgasms, not for therapy.”
“You might consider it.”
“A therapist?” She blinked. “Are you licensed?”
“No, but I’m the next best thing.” Alex settled between her thighs and looked at her with those intense blue eyes. “I’m a bartender.”
“I… see.” Except she didn’t see. Not at all. What was his game? If he just wanted to have sex with her, he had a strange way of going about it. He certainly couldn’t want more. The man was on a single’s party cruise for god’s sake. No one in their right mind would book this trip if they wanted something serious.
What was she even thinking?
She’d just gone from zero to sixty in the space of thirty seconds. What she really wanted was for Alex to do what he promised and make her feel good. That was it. Anything more was out of the question. Her life just didn’t have room for
another person. She’d tried that—more than once—and it never worked out, usually because her work required so much of her that there was nothing left over for her partner. So she’d stopped trying. Really, it was better that way. She was happier alone.
Mostly.
Kendall cleared her throat. “If you want to have this conversation, I’d rather not have it when you’re right there.” His shoulders kept her legs spread and his face was so, so close to the apex of her thighs.
For a second, she thought he’d decide he’d rather talk than continue the scorching path with his mouth. She held her breath, waiting to see what he’d do. Alex gave her one last long look and then dipped down to press an open-mouthed kiss to the sensitive skin just above her bikini bottoms. He moved to her thighs, kissing and nipping as he nudged them wider.
There wasn’t enough air in the room. Kendall watched him touch her, kiss her, and couldn’t look away. Pleasure washed over her, priming her so intensely, she thought she might be able to come from this alone. The thought brought a wave of embarrassment, but she pushed it away. “Alex, please.”
He paused, his mouth against skin. “Yeah?”
He was going to make her say it, wasn’t he? No gray areas with this man. He was more than willing to give her what she wanted, but he required enthusiastic consent to get them there. She might appreciate that later, when she wasn’t about to go out of her skin with wanting him. Kendall cleared her throat, and it still took two tries to get the words out. “I want your mouth on me.”
Still, he waited.
Kendall pressed her lips together and took a slow breath. She could do this. She could. She reached down and untied both sides of her swimsuit. “Make me come. Please.”
He surged up and caught her mouth. The unexpectedness of it made her squeak, but she relaxed into the feel of him almost immediately. He kissed her hard, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that he was claiming her in some way she’d never quite comprehend. It was too much and not enough and she didn’t understand any of this.
Maybe that was the point, though.