"Fuck, yes!" I snarled through clenched teeth as I watched her fall apart, her head thrown back and her body convulsing in her restraints. It was so goddamn hot, and she looked so damn beautiful. I wanted to give her this for the rest of my life.
I pulled my fingers out of her pussy and straddled her free leg with the bound one pressed against my abdomen, and lined my aching cock up with her opening. I thrust myself into her in one fluid motion that made her gasp as tremors shot through my entire body. She was so tight and wet and perfect. She always was. I never wanted to be with another woman again. She was it for me, my everything.
"I love you," I groaned out in a harsh guttural voice. "Oh Jen, I love you."
I wrapped my arm around her bound leg and started fucking her hard and deep, my thumb pushing even further into her ass. She loved it. She kept screaming and shuddering, her free leg kicking wildly on the floor between my knees as she rode the pleasure I gave her. I felt my release barreling down on me now, a hot blistering heat that built up inside me into a raging inferno.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" I shouted as Jen's contracting vaginal muscles finally tripped the switch that ignited my orgasm. It shot up out of me, my body contracting and then expanding as pleasure streaked through me. Hot cum exploded from my dick and pumped out of me in long pulsating jets. Jen's pussy milked me of all of it as she came with me, her insides rippling and squeezing around me.
We screamed and shouted together as we were engulfed in fiery bliss, and when it finally faded away we were both left panting and spent, and I for one felt more connected with Jen than ever before. I hoped she felt the same.
I pulled out of her reluctantly, and immediately began to unbind her with gentle reassuring words as she whimpered and shivered. When the last coil of rope fell away from her body, she reached for me, and I pulled her into my lap. I sat cross-legged on the rug as she curled into me, her face pressed into my neck and her palm over my still pounding heart. I hugged her close, breathing in the scent of her vanilla musk and our joining, and savoring the feel of her soft warm body in my arms.
Nothing else mattered. No thought or worry could intrude on our love at this moment. I gave Jen the release that she needed, but in return I got back so much more. For when we were together like this, bonded like this, I knew our love was absolute; an indelible tattoo inked deep into my heart and my very soul.
**********
I tried to go back to sleep after Jen left for work Monday morning. My tattoo shop was closed, and I didn't have any plans, but I ended up just lying there with my brain on overdrive. I was worried about Jen, since her family's future was in chaos right now. She seemed so reluctant to leave this morning, clinging to me longer than usual, and looking forlorn and lost as she walked out. I didn't know what to do to help her besides give her the physical contact and comfort she needed so desperately. I hoped everything went well for her today, and her brother and father could work things out.
My sibling was another story entirely. I'd been ignoring Natie's calls for days now, something I'd never done before. I felt guilty and shitty as hell about it, but I didn't know what else to do. How could I tell her I wrote off our father without going into why my relationship with him had gone to shit in the first place? I still didn't have the answer to that, so I chose cowardice and avoided her all together. It was only a matter of time until she hunted me down and forced the issue. I hoped it was later rather than sooner.
Suddenly, my doorbell rang, followed closely by loud thumping on the door. Holy hell, I had a bad feeling that I knew who that was, and I wasn't looking forward to this. The doorbell rang again, followed by more thumping.
"Fuck me," I mumbled under my breath as I sat up in my bed. I stood and went to my dresser to grab a pair of athletic shorts from a drawer, then hastily pulled them on before hurrying out of my room.
The doorbell rang again as I crossed my apartment, and the loud knocking continued the entire time that it took me to go down the stairs to answer my door. I paused for a fortifying breath before opening the door.
The glare I was met with was intimidating as hell. My sister stood there holding a car seat with my nephew, Daniel, sleeping in it, and looking disheveled in black yoga pants and an old over-sized blue T-shirt. She wore no makeup, and her hair was pulled up into a messy bun on top of her head with loose strands sticking out all over. She looked tired and pissed, and I was pretty sure I was partly responsible for both. Guilt weighed heavily on me.
"You," she snarled out as she pushed an accusing finger into my chest, "are an asshole."
"Well, good morning to you too," I grumbled out, feeling defensive even if what she said was true.
She actually fucking growled at me, then pushed passed me with a shove. I watched in trepidation as she marched up the steps with her son, mumbling angrily under her breath. I was half tempted just to leave so I didn't have to face her. I was such a fucking coward and a shitty ass brother. She deserved better, so I sighed deeply and followed her upstairs. I entered the living room to hear her still ranting to herself as she paced in front of my couch. Daniel's car seat sat on the floor nearby. Thankfully, he was still sleeping.
"David says to wait for him to call me," she grumbled in a snide tone. "He says not to talk to my idiot brother when I'm angry. Fuck that. Well, you went back to work today, so just try to stop me now, dumbass."
Shit, did I cause a problem between Natie and David too? I stared at her with wide eyes until she turned and pinned me in place with another terrifying glare.
"You promised you wouldn't make things worse." Her voice shook as the anger in her eyes drained away to be replaced by hurt. It made me feel even worse than before. "All Dad told me was that you went to his place and acted like an asshole, then told him you never wanted to see him again. There has to be more to it than that. I need to understand why. What happened, and what made you not get along anymore in the first place?"
I stared at her helplessly, unable to deny her words, but having no idea how to tell her why I did what I did, or what led to it in the first place. Fuck, I couldn't tell her, not and risk losing her forever like I'd already lost my father. Fear rose up inside me and stilled my tongue.
"Talk to me, damn it," she demanded as tears started to glisten in her eyes.
"I...I can't," I blurted out, not knowing what else to say.
"Why not?" she pleaded desperately.
"Because it's none of your goddamn business," I finally bit out as my frustration with myself and my desperation to get out of this situation got the better of me. I regretted it as soon as the words left my mouth. I was such a fucking dick.
Her face filled with sorrow and pain as the tears started falling down her cheeks. "You're my only brother, and you're ripping our family apart. I deserve an explanation."
"Well, I can't give you one," I whispered harshly as I stared at the floor, unable to meet her eyes and see the pain in them any longer. I felt her eyes on me as I stood there, but I couldn't bring myself to look at her again. The shame and guilt felt like it would rip me apart.
"You're a selfish asshole," she finally snapped out angrily. She turned and picked up the car seat, then marched past me to the stairs and was halfway down them when I finally came to my senses. My only sister was walking out on me.
"Natie," I called out from the top of the stairs in desperation. She whirled around and turned her hurt and angry gaze on me. It felt like a blow to my heart. "Please, you have to understand. I...I can't-"
"Can't what?" she snarled out. "Can't grow a pair and tell me the truth? Can't tell me what I have a right to know?" She shook her head in frustration. "Don't you trust me? You know you can tell me anything. I'll love you no matter what."
Would she, if she knew the truth? I was terrified of her looking at me with disgust and shame. I just couldn't chance it. The risk was too high.
"I'm sorry," I said lamely as I hung my head and looked away from my sister.
"Well, 'I'm sorry' isn't fucking
good enough, Ford," she replied tersely. "Don't talk to me again until you can come up with a better excuse than that." She turned and stormed down the rest of the steps, then flew out the door, slamming it in her wake as she left.
I stood there staring after her in shock as realization hit me like a sledgehammer. I'd just done what I'd been trying not to do. I pushed my sister away when I needed her more than ever.
I went back to the living room and slumped down on my couch, feeling dejected and lost. My family was crumbling apart around me, and everything I did seemed to make it worse. Natie wanted the truth, but I feared giving it to her would be the final straw that ruined what was left of our already broken family. I didn't know what to do, and at this rate, I'd soon have nothing left of my family no matter what I decided to do.
**********
I didn't make it down to my shop Tuesday morning until a few minutes before eleven. I usually came down earlier, but I hadn't slept well and getting up had been an uphill battle. Jen spent the night with me again. I'd needed her and the comfort of holding her in my arms. I told her what happened with Natie. She told me that Andy barely spoke to her at work, and refused to talk to their father all together. We were both kind of a mess right now, so we took solace in each other's bodies last night. I made sure that I wore Jen out enough that she could sleep, but unfortunately, I wasn't so lucky. I ended up laying in bed most of the night worrying about her and my relationship with my sister. It was a long damn night.
Angel was already there when I walked into the reception area to unlock the front door. "Good morning, Ford," she said brightly with a smile as she looked up from checking today's schedule on the computer monitor at the reception desk.
"Morning," I said in a bland tone as I crossed the room, feeling a little annoyed with her cheeriness since I was exhausted. I unlocked the door and turned to head back to my office, feeling like hiding for a while.
"Are you okay?" Angel asked with a concerned expression as I passed the reception desk.
I paused next to her. "Just didn't sleep well," I explained with a shrug, not wanting to talk about Natie since I'd never told Angel about my issues with my dad.
"Are you and Jenny having problems?" she asked with a worried frown.
That managed to get an actual smile out of me. "Nah," I assured her. "Jen and I are tighter than ever."
"Is something else going on?" She still looked worried. I must look worse than I thought.
"Just...just family stuff," I admitted reluctantly.
"Ah." She nodded, realizing that I didn't want to discuss it. "Well, I'm here if you want to talk about it."
"Thanks, Angel," I told her gratefully. "I'm going to hide my grumpy ass in my office." Given my current mood, that sounded like my best plan. I didn't want to be a dick to anyone, and I kind of felt like that was a distinct possibility today. She nodded as I walked away.
An hour or so later, I was sitting and staring at the wall in my office fretting about my sister again. On a whim, I decided to call her to try to apologize, but she sent my call straight to voice mail. I couldn't say I blamed her. It's not like I was calling to tell her what she wanted to know. I didn't even bother leaving a message. I knew she wouldn't call me back.
A few minutes later, my phone rang. I snatched it up not sure out of elation or terror because I thought it was Natie. I sighed when I saw Mom's name on the screen instead. Well, at least I knew she'd be happy to talk to me.
"Hi, Mom," I answered in a happy tone that I hoped was convincing.
"Hi, honey," she replied cheerfully. "I was wondering if you could get away to come have lunch with me. Audrey baked a pie today." That definitely sweetened the deal since Audrey made amazing desserts, even if it wasn't necessary to get me to come over.
"I can do that, Mom," I answered her warmly. I needed to check on her after what happened last week anyway, and honestly I just needed to see her for my own mental wellbeing. I told her I would be there in twenty minutes before we ended the call.
I called Liz out front and told her I would be out for a few hours, then took off in my truck. Traffic was light, and I made it to Mom's house in less than fifteen minutes. When I pulled up in front of her townhouse, I parked behind a beautiful and unfamiliar dark-blue Mercedes Maybach. I hopped out and took a moment to admire the luxurious vehicle, wondering who was visiting my mother in this thing.
I shrugged and headed to the front door, only waiting a moment before Audrey came to let me in. On the way up the stairs, I could hear the sound of my mother's voice and a low male voice talking. He sounded vaguely familiar, and when I came to the top of the stairs and looked into Mom's dining room I saw her sitting there with an older man amid a slew of paperwork spread across the table.
"Hi, honey." Mom looked up and smiled broadly at me. "You got here fast. Give me a minute to wrap things up here, and then we can eat."
I nodded to her, then focused on the man sitting next to my mother. "It's good to see you, Mr. Caxton," I said politely. I recognized him as Mom's corporate attorney, Tom Caxton. He'd been working for Mom for only a few months since her old lawyer retired, but I was friends with his son, Gareth, back in high school. Tom's son and I got into a lot of trouble together back then, but we'd lost touch when we went to different colleges. I liked Tom Caxton. He'd always been kind to me, even when Gareth and I acted like dumbasses.
"Good to see you too, Ford," Tom smiled and nodded in acknowledgment. He was a tall attractive man, with a chiseled jawline and kind intelligent dark eyes. He was very fit for a man his age, and his navy pin-striped Giorgio Armani suit highlighted that. His short salt and pepper hair was precisely cut, and he wore a pair of designer glasses that made him appear competent and sharp. I knew that to be true. He did great work for my mother, managing her real estate investments and her other finances. Mom had nothing but good to say about his work.
"I'll be in the kitchen, Mom," I said. She nodded and turned her attention back to the papers in front of her. Tom, on the other hand, turned to look at my mom, and I swear I saw a look of longing flow across his features for a second before he too glanced down at the paperwork.
Hmm. That was interesting. Tom was sitting awfully close to my mother too. Hell, their shoulders were practically touching. If I didn't know any better, I'd think he had a thing for my mother. I watched him point at a spot on one of the papers, and brush his fingers against Mom's hand. It had been deliberate and almost intimate, and I noticed that he wasn't wearing a wedding band either. I glanced at Mom, but she seemed oblivious. I couldn't help the small smile that played across my lips as I turned to leave the room. My, my, my, that was interesting indeed.
"Hey, Audrey," I called out as I waltzed into the kitchen. "What's for lunch?" I asked as I came up next to her to peer over her shoulder where she was stirring something in a bowl. A lemon meringue pie sat nearby. It was my favorite.
"I made chicken salad," she answered. I reached toward the pie to swipe a finger through the meringue, and she swatted my hand away without missing a beat. "And a fruit salad and strawberry lemonade." She shoved a small bowl of grapes toward me as a distraction.
"Sounds great," I said enthusiastically as I grabbed a handful of grapes. "How long has Tom had the hots for my mother?"
Audrey glanced at me and smiled conspiratorially. "You noticed that too?"
"Has she?"
"Not that she's mentioned, but he's been pretty subtle about it."
I popped the grapes in my mouth. I was just thinking about asking Audrey if she thought Mom was interested in Tom, when I was interrupted by my mother walking into the kitchen. She looked beautiful today in a blue floral sheath dress.
"Tom just left," she announced with a wide brilliant smile. Well, that answered my unasked question. She'd never called her old lawyer by his first name or looked like that after he left. "You can serve lunch now, Audrey."
"Yes, Miss Victoria," Audrey said as she shot a quick grin my way when Mom turned to leave the room. I
winked at her before I followed my mother back out to the dining room.
"How's my baby boy?" Mom asked as she turned to face me and reached up to pat my cheek.
"I'm good," I smiled, hoping it didn't look as brittle as it felt. I definitely wasn't going to tell her about the fight Natie and I had or what led to it for fear of her reaction. She'd be a blubbering mess, and even more so if she knew I wrote off Dad too.
Of all my family though, I'd be least worried about her judging my kinky inclinations. My mom's love was always absolute and unconditional. I think she had a huge blind spot when it came to her children. I was pretty sure that I could become a damn criminal mastermind and a serial killer, and she'd still love me and call me her baby boy.
"How are things with Jenny?" she asked with genuine interest as she sat at the table.
"Great, Mom." I grinned happily as I sat down across from her.
"You love her, don't you?" she asked as she smiled back warmly.
"I do," I answered softly. "I love her so much."
"I'm so happy for you, honey," she said as Audrey carried in a large tray. She set our lunches in front of us. We both thanked her as she left the room.
"I asked Natalie to come for lunch with us too, but she said she had other plans," Mom said with a frown. "I really wanted to see Daniel," she added softly in disappointment.
Shit. Now my dispute with my sister was affecting Mom. She didn't get to see her grandson today because of me. I picked up my chicken salad sandwich and started eating it as a distraction. I barely tasted it as guilt stabbed me in the gut.
"Did she tell you how upset David was to go back to work?"
I shook my head as I picked up my glass of strawberry lemonade, hoping she didn't notice the pained look on my face. Not counting the fight we had yesterday, Natie and I hadn't spoken in days. Now I felt even worse.
"She said he was practically in tears when he walked out the door yesterday morning." Mom smiled warmly. "He texted her all day long to check on the baby. He's such a good father." Mom's expression turned wistful, and I just knew she was thinking about my dad.
An Act of Release: Order & Chaos Book 2 Page 20