"I'm so glad you're here," Natalie told Ford with a look of relief. "The Russell's pounced on us again and wouldn't shut up."
"You made eye contact, didn't you?" Ford asked her with a grin. "I keep telling you not to look at them. Once you do that, you're toast."
"Hi, Jenny," Natalie said as she eyed me up and down. "You look fabulous."
"Thank you," I replied in relief. "I wasn't sure about this dress. I don't exactly have a bunch of designer clothes in my closet like everyone else here."
Natalie made a scoffing noise as she waved a hand in the air. "The name brand doesn't matter. It's the attitude behind your clothes that counts." She glanced down at her own dress. "Hell, this thing only cost two hundred bucks. Technically, the guys are better dressed than we are tonight."
"You ladies still look a hundred times better than either of us," David added as he stared his fiancee with appreciative eyes.
"Amen to that," Ford agreed as he glanced down my body with a leer.
"We'd better head in before Mom thinks we're late and freaks out," Natalie announced as she grabbed David's hand. Ford and I followed them into the nearby ballroom.
The room was huge and elegantly decorated with black table clothes, and white napkins and place settings. Silver candelabras stood tall and bold in the center of each round table. The chairs were covered in black cloth with gauzy white bows tied around the backs of them. White and black silk panels stretched across the high ceiling in a star burst pattern from the center of the room. The whole place screamed money, and I suddenly felt small and out of place being here. I knew Ford came from money, but it was never more obvious than it was right now. Of course, Ford noticed my discomfort immediately.
"Just so you know," Ford said quietly as we crossed the ball room in his sister's wake with my arm hooked around his. "I don't feel like I fit in here either. I've just learned to fake it to make my mother happy. I'd much rather be at The Hole in torn jeans and a ratty T-shirt, and you know it."
"Okay." I gave him a relieved and grateful smile. At least, I wasn't the only one feeling out of place here tonight. I don't know how he did it, considering how often he probably had to attend things like this. I guess it would take time for me to learn how to act like I belonged here like he did.
As we approached a table near the stage and dance floor, I saw Victoria Spencer standing nearby talking to a tall attractive older man in a dark-gray suit with short salt and pepper hair and a chiseled jaw. Ford's mother looked beautiful in a black sequin gown that flowed in a straight line down to the floor with a lace boat collar. I decided I didn't even want to know how much the dress probably cost.
Her eyes lit up when she saw the four of us approaching. She somehow managed to hurry over to us while still looking poised and elegant. She smiled radiantly and pulled each one of us into a warm hug, and gave Natalie and me each a kiss on the cheek. She spent a few moments fussing over how handsome David and Ford looked. David took it in stride, but there was no mistaking the beleaguered look on Ford's face as she patted his cheek and straightened the lapels of his suit jacket.
Her smile widened when she took in Natalie's outfit. "You look beautiful, honey," she said to her daughter then turned to eye me up and down. "I wish I had the curves to wear something like that when I was younger, Jenny. You look stunning."
"Thank you, Mrs. Spencer," I told her sincerely, relieved that she approved. No matter what Ford said about not caring what other people thought, his mother's opinion was still important to me.
"Please," she said warmly. "Call me Victoria, honey."
The man Victoria had just been talking to came up beside her, eying her with a brief hungry expression that I almost missed, before he gave us all a kind smile. She glanced at him with a look of longing before schooling her face back into a polite smile. She introduced him as Tom Caxton, her corporate lawyer, but I suspected their relationship was more than just an attorney and a client from the way they were furtively looking at each other. It was kind of adorable, and I glanced at Ford. He gave me a knowing smirk that let me know he noticed it too. Good for Victoria. Tom smiled at her broadly before he excused himself to go to his own table nearby.
Her eyes followed him as she smiled softly, but then I watched as she focused on something over my shoulder. Her face blanched. I turned to see an older man with graying blond hair, that looked unmistakably like Ford, approaching us with a tall willowy blond on his arm. I felt Ford stiffen next to me and knew without a doubt now that this was John Spencer, his father. A feeling of protective anger fell over me at the sight of this man who had caused Ford so much pain. I had to smother a growl as I watched the man greet Natalie and David warmly then turn and give his son a cold blank glance before looking at me with an unreadable expression. I returned his gaze with a cold stare of my own until he looked away first. Bastard.
John briefly acknowledged Victoria and introduced the woman with him as Carolyn Reed, his fiancee. Ford's mother greeted them brusquely with a sorrow in her eyes that broke my heart. Just then, an overhead voice announced that dinner was about to be served, and the uncomfortable moment was mercifully ended.
Thankfully, even though Ford's father and his fiancee were at our table, it was large, and they sat on the opposite side, next to Natalie and David. Ford made a point of not even looking his father's way, and keeping the conversation between himself, his mother, and me. The meal wasn't as uncomfortable as it could have been, but I did catch the occasional worried glance that Natalie gave her brother.
After dinner, a band started playing. Ford's mother excused herself to go talk with her event planner and check on the silent auction that was going on, and everyone else at the table went to dance. I knew Ford didn't dance, and after my years of frequenting dance clubs, I couldn't care less if I ever danced again. So we were left alone at our table, and I was perfectly fine with that.
"Are you okay?" I asked Ford after we had been sitting in silence for a few minutes as he sat there with a sad glint in his eyes.
"No, I'm not," he grumbled out as he watched his father on the dance floor. "I guess getting over the loss of what little hope I had left to have a relationship with my father again is going to take longer than I thought." I heard his voice start to break, and I put my hand on his leg under the table to comfort him. He let out a shuddering breath then abruptly pushed his chair back. I could see tears glittering in his eyes, and I hurt for him so much. "I...I need some air," he whispered. "I'll be right back, honey." He rose and hurried away, and I let him go. He needed some space to pull himself back together.
A few moments later, I felt my phone vibrating with a call in my clutch. I pulled it out to see Carter's number on the display. I shivered and hit ignore on the screen. I'll be damned if I talked to that asshole now, or ever again if I had a choice. He left a voice mail, but I put my phone away, refusing even to listen to it right now. When I looked up again, John Spencer was taking a seat next to me with a serious expression. What the fuck do you want? I barely kept myself from asking him that out loud.
"I don't know how well you know my son or what he's told you about himself, but you're not safe with him." John's face was grave as he spoke, his tone a little condescending to be honest. It pissed me off. "You should stay away from him unless you want to get hurt."
"Hurt?" I snapped out angrily. "You mean like you've hurt him? That's why he's staying away from you, isn't it?"
He looked startled by my reaction to his warning, and my knowledge of his issues with Ford. His eyes hardened. "Listen, you don't know what you're talking about. I've always covered for Ford and picked up the pieces when he tried to fuck up his life in the past. I'm telling you this for your own good and to protect you from him. He's into some sick things that you don't want to get involved in. I won't cover for him and his...his perversion this time."
"No," I snarled at him. "You don't know what you're talking about. Ford is a good man, and he has never hurt me or any other woman, and he never will
. And this 'sick perversion' you're talking about is consensual sex between two adults that you're twisting into something it's not. You may not understand it, but he's still your son. He's still the same man he was before you walked in on him three years ago and judged him so harshly without even listening to him. Do you honestly think that he's that kind of monster?"
"Now listen here-" he growled out angrily.
"No, you listen," I barked back as I pointed at him. "Do you have any idea what you've done to him? Your own son? How much pain you've caused him? All he wants is your acceptance and approval, and you won't even give him that, when he's done nothing to deserve the way you've been treating him. So who's the real monster here? The man who refuses to listen to his own son because he's too busy being a clueless judgmental asshole, or the man who still loves his bastard of a father and who beat himself up for three years trying to earn back his father's love." I stared at the shocked look on his face for a beat. "Yeah, that's right. Ford doesn't think you love him anymore, and frankly, I don't know why he's even bothered trying to get it back because you certainly don't deserve his love."
I pushed my chair back and stood, done talking to this man even if realization and horror were written all over his face. Without another word, I turned and strode away in righteous anger, not willing to give this man anymore of my time or attention, not when Ford needed me more. I'd said my piece and made my point, and whether it helped or not, it certainly made me feel better. No one fucked with my man, no one, not even his own father.
I marched out to the lobby and glanced around looking for Ford, not seeing him anywhere. I didn't know my way around the place, but I spent the next five minutes wandering around trying to find him anyway. I ended up back at the doors where we entered the convention center without any luck locating him. I called and texted him, but he didn't reply or answer, and I was starting to get worried. I was just about to find an employee to see if they could page him overhead when my phone vibrated in my hand. With a surge of relief, I answered it without looking at the screen, thinking that it was Ford. "Hello?"
"My, my, my," Carter's cultured English accent spoke condescendingly. "I didn't think you would actually answer." A shock of cold dread swept through me. "Lucky me."
"What...what do you want?" I demanded in a quavering voice, inwardly cursing my display of weakness.
"Well, that's a loaded question, isn't it, love?" he said in dark amusement. I could picture that damn arrogant smirk of his, and I shuddered in revulsion. "I want so very many things, and I always get what I bloody want."
"I gave you what you wanted," I blurted out. "I got my brother to agree to your deal. What more do you want? I don't have anything else to give you."
"Oh, but you do, love," he replied snidely.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, afraid of the answer.
"I want you, Jenny." His voice was laced with sexual innuendo that made it clear exactly what he wanted, and made me feel ill. "And you're going to give yourself to me willingly."
"Like hell, I am," I responded angrily. "Who the fuck do you think you are?"
"I'm the man who knows things, dark secret things about your tattoo artist boyfriend. Things that could cost Ford Spencer his business and his future. Are you willing to take that gamble? You know I have the power and resources to ruin him."
"You...you bastard," I whispered out as sheer terror streaked through me. What did he know? What would he do? He obviously knew a lot about Ford already, and it scared the shit out of me.
"Yes, I am," he said with arrogant pride in his tone. "A bastard who always wins."
I didn't respond, because he was right. He'd already won as soon as he threatened Ford, and he knew it. I was trapped again, and this time it was my worst nightmare. I was going to willingly to let Carter rape me this time, all to protect the man I loved.
"That's what I thought," he said knowingly. "This is what's going to happen, love. You're going to dump your boyfriend before Tuesday, when I sign the deal with Purcell Auto. After the paperwork is signed, you agree to give yourself to me, for however long I want. If you do that and keep your pretty mouth shut, then your ex-boyfriend will be safe and sound, and I'll stay a silent partner and let your father remain in control of the dealership. Deal?"
Nausea roiled through me, and I feared I'd actually vomit right here in the lobby of the convention center. I started panting for air, feeling like I might start hyperventilating and have a full-blown panic attack.
"Do we have a deal, Jenny?" he demanded in a hard menacing tone.
I took in a shuddering breath before I finally answered. "Yes," I whispered in utter defeat.
"Good girl," he said in a smug condescending tone, perverting the sweet words Ford used so many times. Then he was gone, leaving me feeling desolate and alone and knowing without Ford, that I'd feel like that for the rest of my life. It was the price of protecting him, and since I loved him so very much, I'd willingly pay it, no matter the cost to myself.
**********
"Jen," Ford's voice said in obvious relief. "There you are, honey."
I looked up from where I was sitting to see Ford walking toward me with an apologetic expression. After Carter's call, I sat down on a low bench near the convention center's entrance, so distraught that I was afraid I'd collapse if I'd remained standing. The relief I felt at seeing him was tempered by sorrow though, because I knew that each moment we were together now would bring me closer to doing what I had to do, and destroying myself in the process. What would I do without him? It took every ounce of will I had to keep from bursting into tears.
"I'm so sorry," he said as he crouched down in front of me. "My phone was on silent, and I missed your texts and calls. I ended up walking for a couple of blocks before I happened to check my phone. I'm sorry, Jen." He sighed and laid a gentle hand on my knee. "I just needed to get out of here so I could get myself together."
"I love you," I blurted out. I reached out and placed my palm on his cheek. "I love you so much, Ford." My voice quaked a little as I spoke, and my eyes stung as I fought not to cry.
"I love you, too." His eyes narrowed with concern as he took my hand and gripped it in his. He pulled my hand close to his chest. "Honey, what's wrong?"
"I...I..." My God, I should do it now, so Ford could move on. Tell him it's over and rip open the wound inside me that I knew would never heal. I should get it over with before I ended up greedily holding on to him until Carter ruined his life, but I was a selfish bitch. I wanted him for one more night, wanted to feel him inside me and be in his arms one more time. I needed one more night to store in my memories for when I was with Carter, so I could get through it with my sanity intact.
"I talked to your Dad," I finally told him, knowing I had to give him some explanation for my odd behavior.
"What?" he asked with a look of surprise and then anger as a protective gleam filled his eyes. "What the fuck did he say you?"
"He...he tried to warn me to stay away from you."
A brief expression of pain ghosted across his eyes before they hardened again. "Un-fucking-believable," he growled out as he tightened his grip on my hand. "I'm sorry he did that."
"I'm not," I answered vehemently. "It gave me a reason to tell his sorry ass off." I told him pretty much word-for-word what I told his father, watching as his face softened. When I finished, he raised my hand and pressed a few kisses to my fingers.
"Oh, Jenny," he breathed out with affection. "How did I ever get lucky enough to find you? What would I do without you?"
I wanted to tell him that he would never find out. I wanted to tell him how lucky I was too, but I couldn't tell him either one when I knew our time together was fleeting now. Grief rushed up inside me in an overwhelming tidal wave, and it took everything I had to stuff it back down. I plastered a smile on my face for him, gathering what little determination I had around me like a cloak to hide my heartache.
"Can we go?" I asked, desperate to go home with Ford an
d have him to myself one last time. "I don't want to be here anymore."
He nodded. "I'm over this place too. These pompous pricks can fuck off."
I snorted out a laugh at his coarse language, noticing an impeccably dressed couple shoot a glare at Ford when they overheard his declaration as they passed by. He noticed them too, and gave me that magnificent lop-sided grin of his that I would always miss. I hoped my answering smile wasn't as watery as it felt.
He stood and pulled me to my feet. "Let's go, honey."
He led me out to the valet stand, and wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pressed a gentle kiss to my temple as we waited for his truck. His touch was bittersweet, a joy tempered by the sorrow and loss I knew were coming when I left him tomorrow morning. That's when I had to do it. I couldn't go to the lake house with him tomorrow. I couldn't go back to that place where we cemented our love by the beach and spoke of our future together. I didn't want to sully the memory of that, knowing that when we went back home, I'd break his heart. My God, he was going to hate me enough as it was, especially when it ended up looking like I'd left him for a rich pompous prick like Elliott Carter Bennett II.
It was a relief when the F-100 pulled up, and Ford helped me into the passenger side. He held my hand all the way to his place, shooting warm smiles at me and rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb, love and affection burning in his gorgeous indigo eyes. I was on the edge of losing it by the time he pulled into his garage and killed the engine.
"Hey," he said sweetly as he turned and ran his knuckles over my cheek. "I'm sorry that my dad upset you."
"I'm fine," I lied with a wan smile, tilting my face into his touch. I wanted to stop talking. I wanted to feel his love, to feel cherished and safe in his arms one last time. He seemed to sense my need. Ford always knew what I needed. It was one of the things I'd miss about him the most.
"No ropes tonight, honey," he murmured as passion began to darken his eyes. "No playing, no dominance or submission. I just want to hold you and kiss you all over. I want to make love to you, to feel connected to you in every way."
An Act of Release: Order & Chaos Book 2 Page 23