In 20th century began, the United States— grappling with its first drug epidemic—gradually instituted effective restrictions: at home through domestic law enforcement and overseas by spearheading a world movement to limit opium and coca crops. So, what do you know! Today, sophisticated and powerful criminal groups headquartered in foreign countries control the drug trade in the United States. How so, in one family, how they could handle problems destructively, to find a way to solve up very gently and easy, although, families who are able to handle conflicts constructively move from focusing on people to focusing on issues. They attempt to meet everybody’s needs instead of demanding their own. In another word, some families stuck in destructive patterns blame conflict on people instead of actual issue in dispute. They insist that one party win at the expense of the other and they often try to overpower the other party using manipulation, threats, deception or violence. Families in continual conflict interact in rigidly choreographed patterns and tend to have the same conversation over and over, spinning their wheels instead of addressing their problems in a constructive way.
Anyways, the doorbell rings and we both turned our faces in that direction. Sandra pulled her pants up from behind, looking at me in a surprised glance. She raised her cheeks kind of unacceptable look asked me: “Are you expecting someone”? “No, why should I”? I said. “Then go and open the door”. She said. I get to the door, looked through the keyhole. I didn’t see anybody. When I opened the door, there was him (Ray), right in front of my face. I couldn’t believe that! With an unexpected voice he said: “Hey. Hey. Long time no see. So, what’s up girl”? I was just shocked to see him at my door step and asked him: “What are you doing here? How did you find me”? He tried throwing himself into my arms and hugging me. I pushed him off of me and said “What the hell”? I was so mad and very pissed off, then I shouted in an angry of terror and yelled: “What do you want from me? I’m not a doll and this is not a dollhouse. You don’t want me for anything more than a quick screw and now you come here and starting hugging me for trying to get over you? This is really inappropriate for me just even to think about it”!
I am scarcely objectively aware that, if I view conflict as dangerous, it tends to become self-fulfilling prophecy. So, that’s why, when I go into a conflict situation already feeling extremely threatened, it’s tough to deal with the problem at hand in a healthy way. Instead, I am more likely to shut down or blow up in anger. Conflict triggers strong emotions and can lead to hurt feelings, disappointment, and discomfort. This time, he grabbed me by my hair and pulled me roughly to his lips extreme anger had turned into extreme desire. I took a quick jump back and pushed him away with all my power in my arms. I heard Sandra shouting in the living-room and all of the sudden, he threw a purse to me and ran away. I slammed the door hard and leaned my back to the door. Sandra came furious to me. I was still feeling dizzy and shocked. My mind got screwed. Sandra saw me how I turned pale and shocked, and then she took her steps faster and ran to me.
She looked deep into my tearful eyes and took me into her arms. I still was feeling overwhelmed. “Ok, ok. Don’t cry. Tell me who you were talking to?” She said in an agonizing voice. I remember back in my younger days, when my step-mom came to our house I thought, my father married a grasping, bullying, and uncaring woman. Well, what you know! Since the predatory step-father has become a cliché, the wicked, greedy step-mother has also become an archetype because so many times the characterization is accurate. Off course there are many situations in which a step-mother might has loved and enriched the life of her step-daughter too. Sandra is one of them who always enriched and loved me. The first strategy usually has disastrous consequences for children. Typically fathers never get it. Exactly like my father. That was him who was keeping resisting, fighting and rebelling, keeping trying to make him to see the light. But the result, what has become of him, dead with no mercy and will being eaten by those worms, because, he was too devious, learnt to dissemble, lied and hided in order to minimize the damage to his career. Love and death have been twinned in the horror genre ever since his (my father) dark fantasy about his whores explored and how his imaginations should sepulchered in his eternity dreams now. Looking deep in my heart, seeing the scar of an old hauled wound, flash back in my head nothing other than the sum of all the memories and events that were tightly bound to how it ended injuring my heart! It aroused my sleeping feelings of hatred, disgust, and grudge. I was mad not mean. Being wrongfully accused of something you didn’t do is a frustrating experience. I lack the reason why I was so confused and making some excuses to accuse her for nothing!
I took off myself of her arms and as a volcano screamed at her: “Now lady, I want you tell me, what the hell you were doing with that vicious woman, (What do you call her Amy whatever), in that house? You think you are smart? But in fact, it’s nothing just your true natural of selfishness and arrogance. “Loop” is crisp, concise talking—yet passionate. No question kept spinning in my head of a thought could exist to provoke my mind to wonder about your secret relation with her! I want you have enough guts to tell me what is going on in your mind? Didn’t you think, she could in the first place, slaughter whole the family and devises an ingenious method of hiding from the law? The ending revelation will be an absolute stunner. What I’m trying to say; why do you accept the revelations given to someone who you know nothing about!
So, I prefer you avoid facing other with reality? You are talking all the time about her. She was that, she is this; I should help her for buying her drug. It is more likely a tale of lust, incest, murder, and revenge to me than helping whatsoever. You wonder to pretend as an angle of mercy to scarify your dignity and save a drug-addicted woman from standing at an end of a cliff to detour herself from the way she has been mistakenly walking through?! It sounds so funny that I feel dirty for laughing. I believe my father should develop over the years an infatuation with that woman! Such as those women, they are the ones that they find themselves at the turning point of their life, like what they said! (Tide is turning).
(You can’t turn the tide back since it is out of human control; it will turn as a matter of course at its appropriate time).
Listen Sandra, this is the fact for every creature in this world, while we are going through life, we got hit, scratched, or maybe beaten by the so many conflicts we go through where we will end up with so much damage and no more energy or hope to keep going, then we will start to drown. Since when, you started to feel comfortable diving-head first into a virtual relationship with that woman? You come home and showing yourself naked on the stairs, with your bright eyes twinkling merrily to turn toward the tempting me! You have to admit that you’ve been cheating on your husband. With a more focused on her, she had one-night standing with different men which left her Unfulfilled, and an expertize fooling you just like that wicked. As my father used to say; the most essential factor is persistence-the determination never to allow your energy or enthusiasm to be dampened by the discouragement that must inevitably come. Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragement, and impossibilities, it is this, that in all things distinguished the strong soul from the weak. So, try to be strong and don’t let she (Amy) fools you anymore. I saw you there with that witch, and I’m sure when her ardor damped, and your strength exhausted, she and her chieftains, which means that drug-dealer (Ray), together, they will spring up to take advantage of your situation extremely and then they will kill you and I’m sure not just you, they will kill me too. I am scarcely objectively aware that I think, they will impinge and infringe and so far encroach upon our influences to a benefit of their will, which means my father’s money”. As I was shafting her very hard, she began to quiver with excitement and moan and groan a load:
“How dare you pushing me so hard and accusing me cheating on my husband? (Then she started to stare at me, and raised her hand to slap me in my face, but her fear was enough to make her not want to do that
. She lowered her hand. I just stuck in a rut, stewing in my own stagnant. Then she screamed like a big old lion roar of a yell). Are you out of your mind? I can’t believe it. You must be really nuts. She literally aches and she can’t understand how some people less interesting and less attractive have mates, but she has been let down time after time. She is already fed up with her current situation. I instinctively felt, that was the right thing to do for her. She said, she was so lonely that she arbitrarily type out phrases like methods of committing suicide. I know she is an evil bitch living in a miserable situation. But believe me life, most of the times, it’s really sucks. You are saying; she was being manipulating me? This is outrageous”.
(I am not at all surprised that many women turn to blogging as a way to vent their negative feelings, And also there’s a joke among stepmothers that we have scars on our tongues from biting them so often)!
“Dear Jennifer, I completely agree with your sentiments about protecting this family from the negativity. We all need a place to vent but we also need to take the emotional journey to the next level so we’re not just stuck in hostility. It does no one any good. (She took my hand very gently to the living-room, and grabbed the cigarette, light it and took a long draught, seemed she was sucking oxygen from a pipeline). How come you allowed yourself to fall into the whirlpool of negative thoughts about me”?
(Oftentimes the stepmothers are angry because they feel such a lack of control over their own lives and that is a proven stress producer. I believe the perception of not having any control is always stressful).
“Tell me you’ve been spying on me? Is that makes you better? Or you think to be angry with me, it makes things different? You know, angry is often a mask for other emotions, and the most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. It takes up a lot of your time, and what you get at the end of it? A death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You die and you get out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. I believe, the poor and ignorant are victims of an unfair system and that their circumstances can be improved if we give them help. Life is sometimes too unfair. It is unfair to blame man too fiercely for being pugnacious. It became a little silence. (She sighed in a long deep breath and looked in my eyes, and continued); So, how do you know Ray? What do you know about him? Listen, he is a master of entrapment. He is trying to break free of his sticky weed-web will only get you further entangled. He’ll do anything to hang out with you, even if it means locking the door and making bagel bites. I believe I told you before, I won’t you see him again. He is dangerous. Do not play game with him. Rather than living by the code of the traditional drug-dealer, I’m the only one believe he’s doing you a service in the name of Mother Nature. Aside from taking your money, you’ll be totally useless after he’ll be caught. You know what I’m saying? Well. As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes and I can’t remember the other two… (Ha-ha. She just said that to make me laugh). Anyways, trust and faith, those are two things you have to share with your man. Even though most newlyweds live together, they still need to work on building trust in their marriage. Trust, after all, is the glue that holds couples together- even when they face great challenges. The green monster, jealousy, tends to rear its ugly head and threaten trust when couples don’t set boundaries with those outside their marriage. Whether or not trust can ever be restored depends on how badly it was damaged and how much the spurned person feels betrayed. You think I was cheating on my husband which means your father to spend the money for her drug! Is that what you think? But for your information I have to tell you that day when you saw me with her in that house! Actually we were talking about your father and whatever she said; there really is no shortage of men and no man is worth that kind of hurt and humiliation. She said I was married to a man that never stopped dating. He had more than one affair. Many of them were one nights or little flings. But dear Jennifer, She could be guilty of sexual immorality, and deceiver or liar! But as matter fact, some parts of my conscience believe that, she didn’t kill your Father. I should say, there is a part of her life that is so repulsive and dark that she has been warring about it for many years of her entire life. Something I can’t completely understand about, how you did should ever reflect in a negative way and suspicious thoughts against her! I myself also have further confused that, the accusations I have been leveled against her weren’t all true but enough of them are true. Judgment is the evaluation of evidence in the making of a decision. You see! You can’t just judge her to accuse something. You have to have evidence. Am I clear?”
One of the irritating things about people, the way they act every time when they got accused for something wrong they do! Instead of feeling guilty, admit doing a mistake, and trying to fix what they did…They can stare at you for hours to make you burn into ashes and make you feel guilty yourself; assuming they have the right to accuse you for accusing them for pointing their mistakes justifying that with a silly reason, that odds nothing other than more stupidity to whole situation. It was partly sunny and patchy of fog in that afternoon into view. I caught a glimpse of fiery light glowing among the trees of streets. I watched, as I had done a hundred times before, the flushing of the skies, the gradual illuminations of different trees, crowned with an undulating and ragged outline of pines, nearly twenty feet in height, the golden light gliding silently down the breast of the main street, and opening clearer views of grove and field, until beach and city lay smiling in one cheerful glow of warm sunshine. Lately I started to have very bad sleeping habits! I can’t sleep at night, and still I can’t sleep during the day, and if I do so, it’s like only for three hours. Any small little noise can just wake me up, and I stay in bed for hours trying to go back to sleep with no benefit! It ends up with me to wake up with my eyelids are still covering half of my eyes, walking in a stooped posture, lacking power, activity, and concentration! I have screwed lots of things around me with my low mood and inability to concentrate and think right. I am walking on the empty street and I am thinking of myself to forget after a run-in with a recently sex with him (Ray). Wearing the innocence of a child smile, walking vicious kindness, promoting hypocritical loyalty, prided with artificial nobility, and deceiving people with fake honesty were all discovered long after I have encountered with him. I am burning and my heart is bleeding inside. Sandra was convinced to have a reason to confess the reality to go into raptures with that afflictive action! She meant; our family party assembled early. We shouldn’t soon join by such those friends and connections, all eager and excitements, and each of us provided with a colored glass for the occasion. She was trying to say that, Amy is too regretful and feeling; she stuck kind of at a crossroads, caught and way beyond the point of no return. She said also, any of those impious, vicious creatures just like Ray, is destroying and divesting any idea of to get a Norco-addicted to join his party assembling.
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