by Marie Dry
“In the sleeping place next to ours, I have all the equipment you need. Zanr requisitioned it from the ammunitions room for you.”
Susannah could feel her eyes growing huge. The ammunitions room? “Will you show me?”
He helped her up, Noah still in her arms, and led her to a bedroom that was slightly smaller than theirs. It had a crib and a rocking chair and a changing table. “Your friend got all this from an ammunitions store?”
“Yes, but Natalie told him what you would need.”
She spent most of the day just looking at Noah. She ate what Azagor gave her without taking her eyes off her precious baby. She’d expected Azagor to demand more of her attention, but it was Killer that sulked in the corner. Noah got extremely excited every time he saw Killer, and she didn’t dare let Killer within touching distance.
When the windows showed it was getting dark outside, she bathed Noah and put him in his crib. She stood there, studying his beloved little face. It was time for her to go to bed, but she was afraid if she left this room he’d be gone in the morning, stolen from her. Susannah looked at Azagor. “I can’t leave him alone. What if they came and took him while we slept?” She knew it was a ridiculous fear, but she couldn’t help it.
Azagor motioned to the corner of the room where a small silver ball hovered. “I have a probe on him. If anyone tries to get to him, all the warriors will come, and we will kill them.”
She relaxed slightly. “I know I’m being silly, but when he was born, I held him, and someone said they had to clean me up and to give him to them, then Joseph came and gave him to the strange man, and I never saw him again.”
“He lives in the dwelling of a Zyrgin warrior. No one will harm him or take him.”
This was why he’d managed to make her shattered heart whole again. The selfless way he ensured her happiness. Never brushing off her concerns. She went on her tiptoes and motioned for him to bend down. She kissed him with tongue.
He picked her up, took her to their bedroom, and laid her down on the bed. “I want many hours with you this night,” he said. He took off her shirt and jeans, his gaze like a hot touch on every inch of flesh he exposed. “I am going to make you feel many sinful, wrong things,” he said seriously. As if warning her.
Susannah bit her lip, she wanted him to. She had this frantic need to reaffirm life by joining with him. She leaned up and pulled apart his uniform. He’d shown he how to take it off, and she never got tired of seeing him step out of his boots or opening his clothes without undoing buttons or the strange zippers on her clothes. “Tonight, I am going to do the same to you, my warrior.”
This time, when he arranged her hair, she wasn’t surprised. She’d decided to trust her own judgment. Caine didn’t have to give her a TC or Killer. He’d done that to make her happy. Now that she’d had some experience with Azagor, she knew how little care Caine had taken with her. But she also knew he was a product of their upbringing, just as she was. She’d remember him with kindness and tell Noah about him one day.
Now she reveled in the way Azagor stroked her hair, followed the curve of her ear, and then moved up to her hairline. “The first time I saw you, when I scared you, I thought your hair look like the darkest Zyrgin night.”
“Is that good?”
“It is the best hair to have. The nights on our home planet are superior.”
She smiled at the way he said it. “I like the way you look too.”
“Human women like our muscles,” he said, tracing her brow, following the line of her brows with his forefinger. “This is strange.”
“No as strange as you not having it.”
He moved on, touching her throat, the pads of his fingers rough against her skin. When he cupped her shoulders, they were swallowed by his big hands. She never knew having your shoulders stroked could make your thighs clench and your toes point.
“This is our first knowing. I am a modern Zyrgin and will allow you to speak with me, but you may not move.”
“But I want to touch you too.”
“You may touch me when we have done this right. A warrior honors his breeder when he does the first knowing.”
She stroked the ridge on his head, surged up to him, and gave him a kiss with lots of tongue. When he deepened the kiss even more, she smiled at him and lay down, putting her hands above her head.
“You are brave to tease your warrior.” Azagor’s eyes flickered to her breasts, but it was as if he couldn’t resist the lure of her hair. After being told it was evil witch’s hair her whole life, it was glorious to have him admire it so much. He never let an opportunity pass to curl her hair around his finger, or to smooth it over her shoulder.
After he’d stroked and arranged her hair, he caressed her face with his thumbs, his eyes blazing red passion at her. She shivered when he touched her behind her ears. Who knew that could feel so good?
He circled her neck with his big hand and, even knowing he’d never hurt her, she shivered. In that moment, she realized the fragility of the human body. His thumbs swirled in circles over her the hollows beneath her shoulders, and then he moved down, spanning her ribs. With his thumbs pushing upward, he caressed the undersides of her breasts.
“You are made like a perfect woman,” he said while he stared down at her breasts with an intensity that would’ve sent her running a few months ago, convinced he wanted to eat her.
He caressed the undersides of her breasts, stroked in wide circles ever upward, until he reached her straining nipples. This was so sinful, and she didn’t care. If it was wrong to feel such pleasure, to desperately want him to touch her nipples, she would gladly burn. She jerked when he flicked his thumbs gently over her nipples.
“I will start over.”
“No please, go on, don’t start over.”
Ignoring her entreaty, he started at her hair again, caressed her face, and moved on to her neck and shoulders, this time barely caressing her breasts before he stroked her body in a long powerful caress that started at her neck and ended at her toes.
“I want to take my time touching each part of your body. I also want to kiss every part of it.” He touched her rounded stomach, linger as if he enjoyed every inch he touched and didn’t want to stop.
“I will learn to please you until you want many hours with me.”
“This is what you meant when you talked of many hours? Many hours of relations?”
“Yes, my breeder, we will spend many hours here.”
This time when he moved down her body, he touched the hair between her legs, and she clamped her legs together and tried to jump off the bed. “You can’t do that.”
“I will start over.”
“No, first promise you will not touch me there. It’s not--”
“I will touch you there, and you will feel pleasure. Do not let Joseph steal this from you, too,” he said.
She bit her trembling lip. “I’ll try.”
He started again and this time when he touched a very gentle finger to the tops of her thighs and then higher, she closed her eyes, but didn’t try to jump up. It wasn’t as horrible as she’d thought it would be, but she didn’t feel pleasure until his finger touched her where she never even touched herself. A strange sensation rushed through her, and she jerked. Her eyes widened. With pleasure.
He kept stroking, small circles that made her hips move and her heels dig into the bed. Something took hold of her, and she couldn’t stop her body from tautening, clenching until her ears rang, and she lost herself.
“Pleasure, that is what I will give you with the many hours you will not bargain about,” he growled.
Susannah opened her eyes and stared at the alien. “Is that what relations are supposed to be like?”
“That is what relations are like when you belong to a modern warrior. It won’t work with other warriors. And it is best to do it without any bargaining.” He leaned over her, his elbow planted into the bed. Beautiful and savage and hers. And lying. She didn’t know what he meant
about bargaining, but she knew, even if this bargaining happened, relations would still be magical with him.
He started again and now he used his lips and tongue, if she’d thought his hands brought her pleasure, his mouth, the licks and nips and small bites, nearly drove her out of her mind until she gave herself over to the strange pleasure that stole her mind and left her blind and deaf for minutes.
He lay on his side next to her, lazily stroking her hair back from her face, when she became aware of her surroundings. “This time I will come into your body. If you do not want that or do not feel ready, I will wait.”
“I want it, I want you.” She never thought she’d want that aspect of relations, but she had this curiously empty feeling, even with her body lazy from pleasure.
He kissed and caressed her, this time starting behind her ears. While she still shivered with pleasure from that touch, he moved onto her breasts, taking her nipples into his mouth, and she lost herself again. When she came to, he gently moved her thighs open, settling between them.
“You are ready?”
“Yes.” It was strange looking at him during relations, talking to him seemed scandalous. And when this first knowing was over, she could do the same to him. Touch him and explore his body and find out how to give him pleasure. She’d do everything that she used to think was wrong. With Azagor, it became something so beautiful she almost couldn’t bear it.
His gaze locked with hers, he slowly entered her, stopping and waiting for her body to adjust before he pushed forward again. When he was fully inside her, he held himself still for a long time. She’d braced for that sore, too-full feeling, but he pulsed warm and sensuous inside her. She knew this part of relations, but instead of a few quick pumps and groaning and sweating, he moved slowly, watching her. The pleasure started slowly, built into a wave, and then crashed over her.
No one would ever again convince her that something this beautiful was a sin.
A long time later, she lay in his arms, lazily tracing the big veins on his body. She used to think them ugly, but now she thought it was beautiful, like every part of him.
“Do you want small warriors with me?” he asked.
Susannah knew exactly what that entailed. Natalie had told her how hard it had been to never have her sons as babies. How proud she was of the men they’d become. “I want to have children with you, but I’m concerned about what will happen to Noah when he grows up? He’d be in a society where only warriors matter.” She didn’t want him to be pushed aside for the children she had with Azagor.
“I have thought of this. When he is three earth years, I will give him a training sword. I will teach him to be a Zyrgin warrior. I will also teach him my skill with equipment.”
“What if he doesn’t want to be a warrior? Or a fixer like you?”
“He will be a trained warrior by the time he is a grown human. If he decides to do something else, his warrior discipline will aid him.”
“You won’t resent him. Ignore him when we have more children?”
“No.”
Susannah believed him. If he was going to shun Noah, he’d never have brought him here. “I want to go and check on him.”
“No need.”
She was about to let him know that he didn’t know what she needed and didn’t need when it came to her baby when the far wall lit up. She could see Noah sleeping, his chest rising and falling. “He’s so beautiful.”
“He is strong and will be a good warrior.” He grunted something and the image disappeared. “Go to sleep, my breeder.”
She closed her eyes and waited until he fell asleep and then carefully inched out of the bed. Putting on the beautiful robe Natalie had sent her, she tiptoed to Noah’s room. She couldn’t sleep, didn’t want to chance waking up and finding him gone. Even as she pulled the chair closer to Noah’s crib, she knew she was acting irrationally and didn’t care.
“You are a difficult breeder,” Azagor groused from the doorway.
She was about to insist that she’d stay there, try to explain her feelings to him when he sat down against the wall. “We will both guard your Noah this night.”
He sat with his head against the wall, his arm on his up-drawn knee. Her beautiful alien.
“I love you, Azagor. I love the way you care for me, and teach me things, and listen to me, the way you care for Noah and Killer.” She could feel a blush spread over her cheeks. “And I also love the way you have relations with me.”
He sat there, looking at her for the longest time, and she feared she’d embarrassed him, that he didn’t want her to love him.
“I love you, my breeder. I love your courage, your insistence on learning things that make you afraid, the way you love your small human, the way you look at me.”
***
The next few weeks passed in a blur of happiness. Noah became stronger, and Killer didn’t see him as a threat anymore. She even allowed the two to play while she kept an eye on them.
Azagor gave her paint and an easel, and she started a portrait of Noah and Killer. She’d also started a vegetable garden. Natalie gave her seeds, and Susannah planted vegetables around the dwelling. She looked forward to serving them fresh food. Again it was Natalie who’d told Azagor what kind of stove and oven to install in the kitchen. It was shiny and modern, but not so strange that she dreaded using it.
From the moment they’d brought Noah home, she’d worried that Azagor would resent the time she spent with her son. She should’ve known better. He was home most nights, but he worked long hours. When he came home, he greeted Noah. “Hallo, small human. You are going to bed now, and your mother will be spending time with me.” She didn’t know what would happen as Noah got older, but for now, their lives worked. When Azagor had the rare hours off in the daytime, he arranged for one of the other women to come and take Noah for a few hours. The two little girls played with him as if he was their personal live doll and Noah loved the attention. She noticed that he learned to crawl and say words much faster when the other children taught him. Now the two little girls were on a mission to teach him to walk.
During this time, she noticed Natalie acting strange. It was almost as if she was grieving.
Susannah knew something was happening. Azagor worked even longer hours than usual, and Natalie seemed to be on the point of crying all the time. Susannah could feel the air of “something about to happen” hang over the mountain. She knew the feeling. Whenever Joseph was going to punish someone, this same sense of dread used to descend on the farm, and everyone would barely whisper, in case they turned out to be the one to be punished.
“What is happening with Natalie, Azagor?” she asked him late one evening when they were lying in bed. She didn’t know Natalie well enough to approach her.
“I will tell you when I can. As a warrior, I am forbidden from telling you.”
She heard the worry in his voice. She’d already figured out it had something to do with Zorlof and a project in space. A few weeks after that, she didn’t notice Zorlof when she went to the cave to spend time with the other women, and Natalie had gone quiet until a long time later, during one of her tea parties, she smiled and told them she’d seen Zorlof and that he was all right.
Susannah still had trouble allowing Noah out of her sight. The first time Natalie came to take him, Susannah hyperventilated, and Azagor called Viglar.
As if he knew she thought about him, Azagor walked into the room. Julia and the two little girls right behind him.
“We’ve come to kidnap your son and your dog,” Julia said and, suiting words to action, grabbed Noah. Alissa carefully picked up Killer, and then Susannah and Azagor were alone.
“I have come to claim many hours, my breeder,” Azagor said.
She should be running for safety because he wasn’t exaggerating when he said hours. If it wasn’t for the salve he gave her, she’d be unable to walk. Never in her life had she been as embarrassed, but now she was grateful for it.
“Will you let me
take off your clothes?” She never tired of seeing his uniform come apart. It was like magic, like most things around here.
He picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, and she reveled in his strength. Every time he picked her up, she felt a secret thrill deep inside her body. She’d never get used to how strong he was. The brothers on the farms were strong but not fit and active like Azagor. He’d once told her they had to train at least six hours every day because leaving Zyrgin warriors with too much energy always led to trouble. She could easily believe that. He managed to keep her quite busy in their bedroom, in spite of the long hours he worked and trained.
They made love, and she enjoyed that she now had the confidence to touch him, kiss him, and explore his body. She was careful not to get on top of him. She thought he was more open minded than the other warriors, but something about letting a woman be on top set him off. He was all right with her exploring his body, but having her on top seemed to be a big no-no.
She was laying in his arms, exhausted and sated, her bones feeling like soft grass when he said, “I have a surprise for you.”
“You have? You know I don’t need surprises. You have given me more than I ever thought I’d have.” She enjoyed the clothes and the things she got for their house, but mostly she loved being with Azagor and Noah. She got up on her elbow. “I have a surprise for you too. We will have to go to the kitchen for it,” she said.
They got up and dressed and, taking his hand, she led him to the kitchen. Susannah walked to the synthesizer and said, “Two coffees with sugar and cream and chocolate muffins please.” She remembered Julia’s advice. “And please add cream.” She took the cups and the plates from the box that had expanded to accommodate the order. With a flourish, she put it on the counted in front of Azagor. “Do you like my surprise?”
His eyes flashed the hottest passion. “Yes.” He kept telling her about his terrible instinct, but she didn’t believe for one moment he could ever harm anyone helpless or weak. He was a big old softie, trying to act like a mean warrior.