“This is one that I've been thinking about for a while. I don't know if I'm ready for it to be honest.”
“You’re not ready for it? Well, we can always take a break or not do anything for a little while, go back to being just friends.”
I laugh. “Yeah like that's ever going to happen now.”
“What, we can always go back to being just friends.”
“I don't know how I could after knowing how good you can make me feel.”
He leans across and kisses me on the lips. I taste the coffee in his mouth and it’s glorious. Electricity shoots through me, jolting me, making me feel awake even this early in the morning. I moan as he sticks his tongue into me. I wonder if he tastes the same coffee I do.
“You can trust me; I hope you know that by now,” I muse.
“I know I can trust you but I don't know, this fantasy is really dirty,” he counters.
“Dirtier than you crawling under the desk and going down on me during the fucking webcam conference meeting?”
I laugh. “Maybe, I guess it depends on your point of view.”
“So are you going to tell me this one?”
“I would, but aren't we playing the whole 'write about it, don't talk about it' game?”
“I suppose so. Zane and Lacy are one lucky couple, am I right?”
“That book is going to be a freaking bestseller when you're done with it.”
“Stop, it's just a silly little project. To be honest, I don't even know why I'm doing it. It's not like I'm that good of a writer or anything like that.”
His smile fades. And suddenly he looks very serious almost grim. He takes hold of my chin, turns me toward him, and looks me dead in the eye.
“Hey, I don't want to hear you say things like that.”
“Like what?”
“I don't want to hear you talking about you're not good enough, you are good enough. You're good enough for anything. All you have to do is decide that that's what you're doing and you'll do it, do you understand that?”
“I guess.” I shrug.
He grabs hold of my thigh. “No, not you guess, you do. You do understand you're a fucking brilliant writer and that book you're writing is the first step on your way to becoming a bestseller. Got that, Brett?”
His dark brown eyes gaze deep into me, and I feel as though he's approaching the entrance to my soul. A warm feeling washes over me and I'm not sure what it means.
“No one has ever really believed in me. Why do you think I can actually make it?”
“Why do I believe so much in you? Let me think.” He rubs his forehead with his thumb and forefinger.
“You know, it's kind of a sixth sense I've had since I've been little, but I can always tell when a person is bullshitting me or themselves. I don’t know how I know, but I do know that last night, when I was looking you in the eye I was feeling you, the real you. You feel genuine Brett, you’re talented and you have a spirit that uplifts others around you. Maybe you can't see it because you're you. You don't see the effect you have on people. And I swear to God it's there. And if you don't realize that yet well, I'm going to help you. You are a fucking genius. Now all you have to do is choose your path. Hell, if it's writing romances you're going to be fucking successful at it trust me. I can tell with every word I read from Zane and Lacy. I get fucking turned on.”
I giggle. “You do?”
“Yeah, whenever I read your writing, I've had to relieve myself a couple of times.”
“No, get out of here.”
“Yes, no exaggeration.”
“You're so fucking silly,” I chide.
“Hey, can I ask you a question?” he retorts, his tone serious again.
“Yeah.”
“Why did you agree to work here?”
“Why did I agree to work here? What kind of a question is that?”
He takes a sip of his coffee before he elaborates. This isn’t the kind of conversation I expect to be having so early in the morning. But then, I haven’t expected a thing that’s happened between me and Sebastian.
“Yeah, I mean you're good here, don’t get me wrong. But your heart is obviously in this writing thing. So why are you wasting your time at a corporate place like Blackwell Industries?”
“You know I ask myself that too sometimes.” I sigh. “But in the end I thought it might provide a little bit of security. I mean, after I bounced from job to job, and I guess I just wanted to try something new. When you reached out to me I was flattered that you would even consider me for a company like this without having a college degree.”
“So you’re insecure that you don’t have a college degree?”
“Yes.” I nod. I take a sip of my coffee and enjoy the warm feeling on my throat. The sun is starting to rise higher on the horizon, and a reddish-orange glow starts to show through the office window.
“I think a college degree is worth less and less. It’s more of a fancy pile of paper that comes with a bunch of student loans. It doesn't mean you're smarter or dumber than anyone else. I personally didn't go to college, so maybe I'm biased, but I'm glad I didn't, even though some days people look at me and I can tell that’s what they think of me. That look in their eyes says it all. They think Sebastian Blackwell is just a lucky son of a bitch who won the lottery. They have no idea about how hard I've worked to make this happen. They don't know what it's like losing your first million then going all-in on an investment with your last pennies, only to have that one come through. I'm ranting now, but all I'm saying is you're smart as fuck, Brett. I know that.”
My chest swells with pride at hearing Sebastian say those words. He’s so sincere, I can tell he truly means them.
“Thank you. I guess I'm smart. I'll accept your compliment.”
Breaching the space between us, he uses his finger to tip my chin into him and he kisses me on the lips. I feel his sexy stubble on my cheek.
“So changing topics,” I continue. “I do have a conundrum I'm in right now, I can't wear the same clothes I wore yesterday in the office, people will think it’s weird if they notice. They’ll think I’m homeless or something.”
“Tell me your size,” Sebastian says without hesitation. “I will have some clothes brought in.”
“But won't people suspect that when they see me wearing them that I'm yours? Like your assistant could tell people. And this is a small town.”
He takes a deep breath, and rakes a hand through his hair. “You're right and fuck, I love hearing you say that, but you don't want to be seen with me, right?”
“Oh well.” I hesitate. It's not that I don't want to be seen with him but I also really don't want the other employees to think that I'm receiving any type of special treatment from the boss. “You know what”, I say. “I'll text my friend Crystal. She probably hasn't left yet and we're the same size, so I'll have her bring something. She won't ask questions, she's a good friend.”
“Whatever you want.”
“But I should get moving,” I say. “The early risers will probably start getting to the office soon, right?”
“Stay a few more minutes. Come on,” he chides.
I slide my hand on his thigh and feel between his legs. He lets out a low moan and I respond by moaning a little bit as well. “I really need to go.”
“Yeah you fucking do, oh gosh you fucking do,” he mutters. “So don't do that, don't get me all worked up if you're just going to leave.”
“Alright, I'm getting up. No more teasing.” I jump to my feet, finally, and Sebastian looks slightly disappointed.
“Go on, get out of here, Miss Blue. I'll get you back for this.” He winks.
I text Crystal then change into the clothes I wore yesterday. I kiss Sebastian goodbye for the morning. Luckily, I catch Crystal right before she's leaving her house. A half hour later she meets me in the local coffee shop Grinds for the handoff.
“Hey. Good morning!” she says cheerily. She walks up to me at the table I'm sitting at, sipping my coff
ee and reading the local newspaper since my phone is close to dying.
“Hey yourself,” I say as she hands me the bag.
“I got something cool, something I thought you'd like. A blue dress.”
“Oh that's perfect,” I say. “Thanks so much.”
“So...” Crystal says, letting her voice trail off and taking a seat across from me.
“So what?” I imitate; as if I don't know what she's about to say.
“Oh come on,” she says. “You really aren't going to give me any more information?”
I take a deep breath. If I tell her I signed an NDA. is that breaking the code? “It's complicated,” I say.
“Oh stop it. I told you about the time when I gave Bobby McCallum a hand job underneath the bleachers in twelfth grade. Honestly, that was a low point. I'm not saying you're having a little boy right now, I'm just saying I'm curious so, no information for your best bud?
I take a deep breath. “I can tell you that it's no one you know personally, and I just had a good fun night,” I admit, giving her little detail to work with.
She laughs. “Going to keep things vague, well all right, I see how it is.”
I want to make sure she knows that I don't mean to keep things from her. “Look, I will tell you about it the instant it's important, but right now it's just not that big of a deal. Yet.”
I wonder if Sebastian and I could ever be a thing, but I have my doubts.
“Fine,” she retorts, though I can tell she was excited for some juicy gossip.
“But let me buy you some coffee to return the favor.” I get her drink, a grande vanilla sweet cream iced coffee, and hand it over to her.
“So how is your book going?” she asks.
“My book?”
“Uh yeah. The romance novel you were telling me about. That was like when you started this job, right? I’m just thinking you're making progress so I'm curious how it's going.”
“Oh that thing, it's going ok. You know. Chipping away at it.”
“Like, have you been getting any inspiration or...oh. I know,” she says, tapping her nose. “This one-night stand guy is your inspiration! Aha! It all makes sense now.”
“I don't like writing about one-night stands anyways.”
“I'm just throwing out possibilities. You’re saying you don’t get any inspiration from him?”
“The book is going pretty well,” I say, trying to skirt the subject. I’m sure I’m probably blushing. “I can let you read it in a little bit, I'm almost done with it, about two-thirds of the way through.”
“I can't wait to read it,” she says, taking a big suck of her iced coffee.
“I can't wait to be done with it.”
“By the way, my little sister is really getting good at designing covers so if you need anyone...”
“I'm pretty sure your little sister is too young for this kind of book,” I cut her off.
“Oh shoot, well she can still make the cover, right?”
“I suppose there's no harm in that.”
“Have you thought of a title for the book yet?”
“I haven't actually. I have no idea what I'm gonna call it.”
“Ok well, I have some ideas when you're ready.” She takes a sip of her coffee and looks me in the eye.
“You've been thinking about this a lot, haven't you?” I giggle.
“Yeah actually. I was thinking about it the whole ride over here so I'm kind of an expert now at titles.”
“Alright. What do you think it should be called?”
“Well, I was thinking it's about a boss right and it's got a lot of hot scenes in it, so how about 'The Boss’s Office Slut'?”
I laugh. “I’d like to think that she's a little bit more than a slut.”
“Hmm, okay. Well, maybe she's not a slut slut, but she’s slut-y, like in an empowering way. Oh! What about the 'Boss's Innocent Slut Virgin'?”
I chuckle. “That just sounds like a bunch of buzzwords struck together.”
“It sounded better in my head,” she says. “Anyways, what were you thinking for the title?”
“I was thinking something more like; well they have a benefit situation so, ‘Boss Man with Benefits.'”
“'Boss Man with Benefits,'” she says out loud. “That's actually not bad. You came up with that all on your own?”
“Yeah.”
“I like that.” She looks at her watch and sighs. “Anyway, I need to get to work. Speaking of boss, my boss has been working my ass off lately and not in a good way. Although he's a little bit too old for me.”
“Hey, maybe you got some inspiration there for me,” I say. She chuckles as we both walk out the door together. She turns to leave but before she does, she asks me a question that makes me think.
“So just friends with benefits? Is that like the kind of situation you have set up with your man toy or whatever you're getting these clothes for? Your one-night stand you had last night? Or is the title just pure fiction.”
I sigh. “Honestly--I’m not sure. It's not really a benefits situation. At least I'd like to think it's more than that.”
“Well, you know how guys think. He's probably fine with the situation as it is. Anyways I got to run, catch you later, boo.”
She heads off and I'm left with a thought; is that all Sebastian Blackwell wants with me? He seems quite fine just to keep things casual. I take a breath. I don't have time to think about this. It’s too much right now, I have another fantasy to write.
I need to get this book done with, and with one third of it to go, I’m nearly in the homestretch of my novel.
That morning at work, I type up a fantasy that I want to do today with Sebastian.
Screw it. This isn’t even about Lacy and Zane any more. I might as well stop kidding myself.
This morning’s scene is very over the top, and I’m a little worked up when I’m done with it.
It’s so filthy I can't even believe that I'm the one who's writing this.
But this is what Sebastian does to me. He brings out the dirty in me.
I do wonder if he'll think I'm just really dirty, or if he'll think differently of me now that he knows I’m capable of being this dirty.
I try not to overthink it. But this one is even worse than the under the table fantasy.
I hit send in my email that includes the text of the next chapter between Zane and Lacy. Five minutes later, a message pops up on my screen from Mr. X.
Mr. X: Are you fucking serious with this?? Lacy is a very very dirty girl in this chapter
I clam up, I'm a little bit nervous now even more so than when I typed it.
Brett: What, you don't think you can handle it?
Mr. X: Oh I can handle it. The question is can you handle the spin on this. Lacy wants to be taken like that in the office. The how she wants to have a quickie is clear. But I might play with the where.
Brett: I handled your little under the table strategy, so I think I'll be ok with whatever you have in store for me with this
Mr. X: Do you even know me? It's like we haven't been sleeping together for one night
Brett: Ha. Good one.
Mr. X: I can’t wait for this one. You are such an incredible writer. And I love your filthy mind.
Brett: Is it weird that when you say you love my mind that turns me on?
Mr. X: It is weird. You’re fucking weird. I’m weird too. Couple of weirdos who are going to do some weird stuff later
Brett: I love that you’re accepting of my weirdo-ness
Mr X: It’s my favorite part about you. Btw make sure you have a light lunch today. I don't want you to get too... shall we say, sleepy
Brett: How can I get sleepy when I have a boss as sexy as you?
Mr. X: Good point, plus I'm the most interesting one that does presenting in this building. I'll see you at 1:30 for the meeting. Don't be late.
Even though he’s not near me, I can picture him winking with that mischievous ‘I know something you don’
t’ look in his eye, and my heart skips a beat. I wonder what he’s got in store for me.
18
Sebastian
After I read what Brett writes me today, it’s all I can do not to walk around with a hard-on at the office. I know this romance novel that she's writing is just that; a novel. It's fiction, it's made up, it's not real. Yet when I read about Lacy and Zane I just wonder what she thought about last night. She said she doesn't want to be serious, but maybe there is a chance. Fuck, I think, leaning back in my office chair. I'm so hard I want to get after it right now.
Over the years, yeah sure, I've rubbed a few out in my office, I'm not going to lie. But usually I wasn't thinking about anyone specific. Now, I'm thinking specifically about a girl I barely know and goddamn it, I might even be falling for her; fuck. It makes no sense, it all happened so quickly. I shake my head out and tighten my tie. I need to stay focused; it's only 10:00 am, and I still have a lot of work to do with that distillery project before I can think about taking a break.
I look through the designs of the new two-story factory that we're building. The project will employ over 500 people from Blackwell. It will bring in a whole hunk of tax revenue for the area and last but not least, the people of the town are going to have access to what they need most in this world; fresh whisky. Yeah, sure I'll make a little money here too but it feels better thinking of the project as a sort of goodwill; that I'm making it possible for all the people the world to get their drink on.
Finally, I'm able to get into the work I have to do. I grab lunch then prep for the 1:30 meeting that I'm going to be running. When I go into the meeting room, everyone is standing around. I motion for them to get into the circular desk and we get to work. Halfway through the meeting, I clasp my hands together and ask if anyone has any questions; they don't, so fantastic.
“All right then, if you don't have any questions, I assume you all know your roles here, so let's dismiss early.”
They seem eager about the early dismissal and head out of the room and into the elevator. I pick my path of attack; carefully walking right behind Brett. She looks fucking lovely today. I watch her ass as it wiggles in the blue dress that she got from her friend. We stand nonchalantly waiting for the elevator. The shiny silver doors finally flash open and we get in. Me, Troy, and Brett are headed up.
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