“Brett, Baby. There’s something I need to tell you.”
“Oh yeah? Let me guess. You’re still hungry.” She winks.
“My soul feels satisfied, but yeah I am still pretty hungry.” I laugh.
“Mine too,” she murmurs.
“No, it’s something else I want to talk about. Over dinner.”
She squints and nods, some surprise in her eyes that I’m being surprisingly serious.
I help her get our dinner for two set up and think about how to proposition her for something that’s more than our benefits situation.
I help her bring the steak and potatoes and banana bread out onto my back deck.
“I should put on some real clothes,” she says.
“No baby. You shouldn’t. In fact, I think this is going to be your new mandatory uniform at work,” I joke.
We head to the back deck, which is awesome because it’s surrounded on all sides by bushes, and we get to have privacy while still enjoying our meal outside.
We sit outside on my deck in the beautiful fall Blackwell night. Brett sits across from me, and looking at her you would just think she's wearing an apron, you wouldn't think she was naked.
"Do you have enough mashed potatoes?" she asks me, nudging the bowl in my direction.
"Yes, I think I do. I think I have everything I need, except do you want a drink maybe?"
"Sure." She smiles.
"I'll be right back." I head inside and grab a bottle of wine and two glasses. Before I head out to the deck again, I take a moment to watch her from inside like a voyeur. Brett gazes out over my backyard. She has a curious mind, the wheels of her brain are always turning.
I wonder what she’s thinking about right now.
Beyond her hotness and her beauty, she just has that zest for life that makes a man want to step up his game. As I look out into the Blackwell sunset, the orange-yellow sky on the horizon, I know that's what I've been missing and that's why I need to tell her right fucking now. I step out onto the deck, the 'L' word practically bouncing from my lips. I've never told a woman that I loved her until now. I uncork the wine and pour us both a glass and sit.
"I had no idea what you would do when I gave you the keys to the house, and you did not disappoint." I say.
"Well, I aim to please, so I'm glad I didn't disappoint," she responds.
"Seriously though," I say as I pour the wine into her glass and into mine. "How did you come up with the idea to wear just an apron? I mean it's the sexiest thing I've ever experienced." I sit down and leaned back in my chair and a warm breeze wafts across my face. "That is just incredible. Your mind is so great."
"Is that your poetic way of saying that you think I'm smart?" she asks, batting her eyelashes.
"Yes it is, though I'm not poetic. You're the future New York Times Bestseller, so you should be the one using all the fancy words, right?”
She laughs.
“Hey," I say, as I reach my hand across the table. "I want you to know something, Brett. These past few weeks I've felt different. Every day I feel a little more different and I finally realize what it is that I need to tell you."
"What do you need to tell me? Just say it," she answers. Right as I'm about to let her know how I really feel, the doorbell rings. I roll my eyes; you've got to be kidding me.
"It's probably just telemarketers or something," I joke.
"Telemarketers, really? We don't have telemarketers in Blackwell and telemarketers don't ring doorbells."
"Oh right," I say. Well, it's probably just a window salesman then, I'm sure they'll go away." "Yes," I say, as I open the back door that leads out onto the deck. I clench up when I recognize the person.
It’s definitely not a telemarketer.
It's Kim Murphy.
"Sebastian." She smiles, a little too snidely for my liking. "What are you doing with your door open and what the hell? I've been trying to call you all night and you haven't answered." I freeze. I can smell the liquor on her breath from here.
“I was on a plane.”
“Oh,” she replies.
"Who's there?” I can hear Brett calling from the deck.
"Oh, it's no one, just hang on." I go into my house and nicely try to defuse this situation which could get out of hand very quickly.
Five years ago, Kim and I shared a one-night stand.
It was a celebratory night, and then the next day we went back to being normal.
Sometimes though, the awkward face of that one-night stand shows its head.
At times such as right now.
Her weird streak of jealousy in the interview with Brett makes sense all of a sudden.
It was so long ago, and I thought we had both moved on. Apparently not.
"Kim, what are you doing here? I'm having dinner,” I ask, my tone firm. I can smell quite a bit of alcohol coming from her direction.
"Well, you said last month how you were working so much and you were a little bit lonely, so I decided I was going to surprise you and just come over so...surprise!"
She holds her hands out and smiles.
I rub my chin, trying to remember saying anything of the sort. Since I met Brett, I don’t remember being lonely for a second. "Kim, I don't know what to say but, this is inappropriate."
"Excuse me?!”
"I’m busy tonight.”
"Oh come on, don't act like you haven't been shooting me eyes when I come in for the projects that we're working on," she says. She runs a finger along her breasts, accentuating the cleavage that she has decided to show me here.
"Kim, I need you to leave. Right now."
"Oh, I have to leave because I'm an employee. Is that what you're saying? You don't date employees?" She takes a step closer to me and I can practically taste the whisky on her breath. I don’t like it.
"No, I just mean you're a little bit drunk and I don't think this is appropriate."
"You act like we don't have a past."
"Maybe we do--a short one, a long time ago--but that doesn't mean you can come barging into my house like this. For the love of God, it was five years ago. Before you even worked at Blackwell."
"Who are you here with anyways?" she says and looks around. Fuck. I can still basically smell the sex in the air from when Brett and I did it in the kitchen.
After the many times we hooked up in the office, I won’t let this be the way we get caught. The first time we decide to hang out at my house.
"Kim, I’m going to have to ask you to leave please, let's talk about this tomorrow."
"No, I'm not going anywhere. I want to hang out with you and talk about the distillery project and how it's going. Who's here?" Kim rushes past me. I try to step in front of her but she sidesteps me and actually trots to the door that leads to the deck.
"No one, Kim, don't please." Kim runs out, and suddenly all I can do is spectate.
"Oh my gosh." She laughs. "Well, hello to you Miss Brett Blue." Brett's face turns ruby red.
"Hi Kim," Brett says sheepishly.
"Oh, wow, this is quite an amusing sight here." She crosses her arms and steps toward me. "The billionaire of Blackwell and his little hook up girl."
"Kim, I’m not going to say it again. Time to go.”
"Oh, so now I see why you don't want me anymore, but you know what, I bet this is a sight that a lot of people would be interested to see." She takes out her phone as if she's going to snap a pic of Brett in only her apron but I step in front.
"Listen Kim, whatever you think about me, that's fine, but don't let it affect what you think about her."
"Oh yeah that's fine, but I’m going to snap a pic." Kim literally runs to the side of the deck, snaps a picture of Brett and I and heads into the house.
I start after her. I can hear her footsteps heading for the door.
"Kim, you don't want to do this! Why are you being like this?"
Almost at the doorframe, she turns back toward me for a moment. "Look, Sebastian sometimes a girl's gotta do what
a girl's gotta do, it doesn't matter why."
“Give me your phone,” I seethe.
“No,” she hisses.
She leaves, heading outside and walking down the street. I want to stop her but there's nothing I can do. Short of physical force, I can call the cops, but what are they going to do? I rush back to the deck outside because no matter what happens here, any slandering of me, I don't care.
People can say whatever the fuck they want to say about me. They’ve been talking shit about me from the day I made my first dollar. What I won't tolerate is if they're talking shit about Brett. But when I walk back to the deck, she's gone. All there is are two plates with steak and potatoes and wineglasses sitting there untouched.
"Fuck," I yell.
A mix of rage and panic surges through me, and my heart speeds. I run back into the house and I hear something at the front door. I rush to it and see Brett in my foyer about to leave. The apron is on the floor, and she’s fully clothed.
She opens the door, and there’s just enough sunlight in the fading sky for me to see a tear rolling down her cheek.
"Goodbye Sebastian," she says. “Goodbye forever, asshole."
“Brett, just give me a minute! I can explain what just happened.”
“You said you never slept with an employee. Sure seems like you and Kim share something. Chalk one up in the liar department.”
“Kim and I were together one night, before she ever worked at Blackwell.”
“Oh, so you slept with her and then you hired her. Well I’m glad you can get off on a technicality.”
I block the doorframe so she can’t leave. I’ve never seen her this worked up.
“It’s more complicated than that. She was hired by a different department. I had no idea. We’ve come to terms with the night we spent together. It was just that--one night.”
She shakes her head. “I thought I was special.” She shrugs. “I’m not. Please, move Sebastian. I would like to leave now.”
I hesitate, and then finally move aside.
As I watch her silhouette walk away, the sky seems to fade from blue to black in an instant.
This fall night couldn’t be more gorgeous. I guess Brett and I were only mean to be a thing in the thunder and the rain, like our first night.
Worst of all, I never got to tell her the four words I’d been thinking about all night.
I love you, Brett.
21
Brett
It's late on Saturday, and the locals of The Watering Hole are buzzing around us enjoying themselves. All I know is I'm getting drunk tonight.
Crystal takes a sip of her Pineappletini. I suck on the straw of my Long Island Iced Tea. Baseball highlights play in the background buzz of the bar, and the scene cuts to an interview of baseball’s bad boy Jake Napleton.
I take another sizeable sip of my drink, unfocusing my eyes.
Crystal nods and processes the sob story I’ve just filled her in on.
"You can’t trust any men. That’s the moral of this story. Except for Zane and Lacy.” She furrows her brow. “Zane didn’t lie to Lacy, did he? He’s a dick if he did.”
As morose as I am, I can’t help but smile a little. "I think I just wanted to believe that a billionaire playboy type like him could have a genuine connection with someone like me. But apparently, I was very wrong. But I'm not wrong about wanting another drink right now. Mason can you get on it? Shots here!" I nod toward the bartender and point to Crystal and I.
"I mean, that's all just too crazy to imagine. So, this Kim girl just came in and you heard everything?"
"Well, I heard her saying that she and Sebastian had a past when weeks ago Sebastian distinctly told me that he had never had an affair with an employee before."
"So Sebastian was lying."
"Right, and if he’s lying about that one thing, who's to say he's not lying about lots of other things.” I take a deep breath. “I admit the sex was so good. It was incredible, mind-blowing. I can't imagine doing that with anyone else but him."
"So he owns your pleasure?" Crystal says, stirring her drink.
"No,” I quip back. “He doesn't own my pleasure...I just really like having sex with him. Fuck, I'm a bad person." I let out a sigh, and just in time, we’re rescued by the bartender.
Mason puts the shots in front of us and we cheer greedily.
"To whisky!" I say, and we raise our shot glasses.
"To whisky!" Crystal smiles. "You know, I've stopped taking so many shots. But for you, for a friend in need, I’ll take this bad boy down." We clink our glasses and both scrunch our faces as we take the shots down.
We slam the shot glasses back onto the bar.
"Well, I'm sorry you had to go through that, it seems really dramatic. Have you talked to Sebastian since then?"
"No, I say. I stopped answering his emails, and I blocked his number on my phone."
"Oh wow, taking extreme measures. You haven’t done that since..."
"The one who shall not be named. I know. But I'm just done with him. You know me; what's the one thing I don't stand? What’s my deal breaker?"
"Cheaters," Crystal affirms, because she knows me.
"Right, I'm sorry that's a deal breaker. If he's hooking up with this Kim Murphy lawyer chick on the side, I just don't think I can look him in the eye now."
"So you're going to go back to work right? Or are you a bestselling author yet?” she jokes.
I roll my eyes. "The book is fine. It’s almost done.”
“Glad you...finished it in spite of your lack of inspiration.”
I take another sip of my Long Island. The book is exactly what I don’t want to talk about right now. Sebastian was such a good inspiration, it’s a pity he had to turn out how he did.
“Work is going to be awkward but I'll probably go back on Monday, it will just be very different and Kim knows, what if she tells other people in the office? Oh my gosh, I'm going to be like the 'office slut'. No, this isn't happening." I pound my fist on the countertop. "I never thought I'd be like 'that girl' and here I am, I'm 'that girl'.
"You're not that girl." Crystal shakes her head.
"Ok so, I know I just told you tonight but let me rehash it for you. I've been sleeping with my boss for weeks now and using him as inspiration to write the best romance novel anyone has ever written."
"Ok, so it makes you 'that girl' how?"
“I signed an NDA with him, which I'm breaking by the way to tell you this, so I'm not supposed to tell anyone I'm just hooking up with the boss behind everyone's back."
"Look," Crystal says. “I know you probably think this is the end of the world, but I mean there are a lot of guys; look around." I look around the bar; there are only two guys in the bar that aren't with girls and they're both playing pool. They're not super attractive. One has shaggy hair, the other one has a buzzed head. The only hot guy in the place is the bartender, Mason. And I’ve been noticing one of the waitresses shooting him looks all night.
"I appreciate your attempt at comfort, but there aren’t a lot of guys as ripped and as driven as Sebastian."
"He really is ripped, huh?" Crystal asks.
"So ripped, I mean you wouldn't think it because he wears a suit a lot, but he's basically a cowboy in a suit."
"We can agree that we're not gonna talk about this anymore and focus on getting drunk." She nods.
"I can get on that pony and ride it late into the night." I laugh, half-heartedly. We clink glasses, drink, and laugh into the night and I try to forget that I'm in quite a pickle. Crystal gets up to go to the bathroom, and I stare into my drink. For days at the office; even just yesterday, Sebastian was fucking me senseless against his marble counter island. These are some of the most erotic experiences in my life and now what's going to happen to us? We're just going to not talk anymore? I take a sip of my Long Island and let the alcohol linger on my throat. Something tells me we're not over yet.
A few shots deep, the buzz starts to sink in, the alc
ohol flows through my veins and I feel good.
Crystal is off in the corner dancing with some cute young guy and I’m feeling a little bit claustrophobic and stuffy inside, so I head outside The Watering Hole into the open night air. I wave hi to the bouncer in on my way outside so he'll let me back in, and join the group of people standing outside ― mostly smoking.
I don’t join them in their cigarette smoking, instead I take in the night air, making sure to breathe upwind from the smokers. I look up at the sky, I can tell it’s a cloudy night. In the distance, thunder rumbles and I’m reminded of that very first night I slept overnight with Sebastian in his office and how ridiculous we were together.
Together.
The word rings through me. What a shame we never truly were able to be together.
The implications of yesterday still haven’t fully sunken in, or maybe I just can’t process them. I don’t know.
Maybe that’s just how all men are, that’s why I left my ex-boyfriend, only to find more or the same, well who knows?... I think about the story of Lacy and Zane. How their romance was just perfect. They were all hot, forbidden, sexy love in the office. It’s just simply true that real love in the real world won’t be matched by its love on paper because in books, there doesn’t need to be any hurt feelings. I resolve to write a section of my book though, where Zane and Lacy take a horrific downturn, to at least match with reality to a point.
I take a deep breath wishing that the stars were showing tonight, but the clouded sky is quite appropriate for how I’m feeling, dark cloudy ― the future ahead feels murky. I don’t even know why I should show up for work on Monday, but I’ve still got to help my Mom pay down our debts.
Just when I’m about to head inside to the bar, I hear a voice to the side of me. I spin around.
“Hey there,” the deep voice says.
I turn and see Sebastian standing there in jeans, boots, black T-shirt, and a baseball cap.
“What do you want?” I say crossing my arms.
“Brett, you just ran out yesterday. You didn’t give me a chance to let you know what was going on. I want to explain.”
“Explain what?” I say. “Explain how you’ve been having dueling romances with two of your employees at the same time?”
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