by John R McKay
Eventually he stopped and sat back on the chair. She uncurled herself and took her hands from her head, where she had put them to protect herself, and looked over to him. He was slouching in the chair, his head thrown back looking up at the ceiling, his face flushed and sweaty. He had excelled himself this time, she thought.
And then suddenly the shock wore off and the pain hit her. She ached all over her body and with the pain in her ribs and blood clogging up her nostrils she struggled to breathe. She attempted to take air through her mouth and this resulted in a sobbing rattling sound that she could not prevent.
He looked over. ‘Shut up you silly bitch,’ he said calmly. He then rose and left the room, leaving her in a bloody mess on the sitting room floor. It was then that she allowed herself tears. She struggled to her feet and instantly felt dizzy and nauseous and before she could prevent it she vomited onto the floor in front of her. She struggled out of the room and hobbled to the stairs where she sat down to try and get her breath but every time she took in air she felt sudden sharp pains in her side. She wondered how many of her ribs he had broken. She needed to get to her room where she could lock the door and keep him away from her. She also knew that Edwina was upstairs somewhere, getting herself ready to go out for the evening to carry out her duties and hoped that she could find her. The other members of staff were either out of the house or downstairs eating their evening meal but she realised that the only person she wanted with her right now was Edwina and did not want any of the others to see her in this state.
She turned around and half crawled up the stairs, using the bannister and rails to drag herself up, each movement an agony. She looked down and saw that she was dripping blood onto the carpet but she did not care, she just needed to get to the sanctuary of her room.
As she reached the top of the stairs she sensed someone watching her. She turned her head and stood before her was Longworth. The cocky expression he usually wore when he looked at her was replaced by one of shock. So even he was surprised at the level of violence that his master and employer was capable of, she thought. She struggled past him but he offered her no assistance other than to step aside and let her pass. As she approached the door to her room he stepped forward and opened it for her, pushing it wide to allow her better access. When she was through the doorway she turned and closed the door behind her, locking it with the key that was in the keyhole, leaving him standing facing the door, too shocked to say anything.
She turned and painfully walked across the room and climbed onto the bed, where she lay on her back, each movement a struggle, every breath a separate agony. She had never known such pain and she sobbed quietly to herself, which only magnified the pain she was feeling in her chest.
After a while there was a knock at the door. ‘Victoria, Victoria. Are you in there?’ came a whispered voice. It was Edwina. Victoria slumped out of the bed and as she fell to the floor cried out again in pain.
‘Victoria,’ said Edwina, urgently. ‘Please open the door. Whatever has happened?’
Eventually, she managed to get to the door and unlocked it and Edwina rushed in. She stood looking at her, her mouth agape, no words coming out. ‘Please,’ said Victoria, wincing with the pain, ‘Close the door and lock it. Before he comes back.’
‘My God, what has happened to you?’ asked Edwina, transfixed, unable to move due to the shock of what she was witnessing. ‘I saw blood on the stairs and that man, Longworth told me that you may need me. Here let me help you up.’
She bent down and gently assisted Victoria to the bed, careful not to harm her any further. ‘Has Sir Alexander done this?’ she asked. ‘Dear, dear God! I need to get you to a hospital.’
‘No, no,’ said Victoria. ‘Just get me onto the bed.’
When she was settled, Edwina moved back to the door and locked it before walking to the sink at the other side of the room and preparing a bowl of water and a flannel. She returned to Victoria’s side and started to wipe away the blood from her face. ‘Now, are you going to tell me what on earth has happened? You look like you’ve been caught in an air raid but I’m guessing it’s not the Germans that have done this to you.’
‘It was Alexander,’ replied Victoria quietly. ‘He’s gone crazy. When he found out about Gregory being alive he just flipped. He punched me and even kicked me when I was lying on the floor. I think he’s broken my nose and a couple of ribs. I’m in such pain, Eddie.’
‘Dear God, I knew he was a brute but didn’t realise he was capable of this. You need to call the police. And I need to get you to a hospital.’
‘Not yet, my love. I don’t think the police will do anything. He’s too much of a public figure with friends in the right places and I can’t see them seeing this as any more than a domestic issue, a private affair between husband and wife.’
‘Either way, this is terrible and you should not stand for it.’
She continued to wipe away the blood, wringing out the wet bloodied flannel every now and again. She had to change the water twice before Victoria’s face was relatively clean. However both of her eyes were already beginning to blacken. ‘Yes,’ said Edwina quietly, appalled, ‘your nose is definitely broken.’
Victoria started to cry and Edwina joined in, both of them softly weeping together saying nothing for a while.
Suddenly someone turned the handle on the bedroom door and when it didn’t open began to pound furiously upon it. Both Victoria and Edwina started with a jolt, fear spreading across their faces.
‘Open the bloody door,’ shouted Alexander furiously from the hallway. ‘Open it I say. Don’t force me to kick it in.’
Edwina looked at Victoria. ‘What do you want me to do?’
‘You had better let him in,’ she replied softly. ‘He will only get worse if we don’t do what he says.’
‘I’m scared my love. What will he do?’
‘Open this fucking door. Right now!’ he bellowed again.
‘Go on, Eddie,’ said Victoria. ‘You had better go and do it.’
Edwina walked to the door and turned the key. As soon as it was unlocked Alexander burst in, throwing the door wide open and knocking it into her, sending her careering back into the room, Longworth following close behind. Without looking around Alexander said to him, ‘Take that old bitch out of here, Longworth. I have business with my wife.’
Longworth wasted no time in complying with Alexander’s order and grabbed the stunned Edwina roughly by the arm and dragged her screaming from the room. ‘Leave her alone, you animal,’ she yelled furiously. ‘Leave her alone.’
‘Come with me you old witch,’ sneered Longworth as he dragged her down the hallway to another room. ‘This is none of your business.’
When they had left, their voices becoming fainter as Longworth carried out his instructions, Alexander shut the door calmly and approached the bed. He leaned over until he was only inches from Victoria’s face. ‘We need to talk,’ he said.
Despite her broken nose, it was only now that Victoria realised that Alexander had been drinking. She could smell the whiskey fumes as his breath hit her face. She knew he was capable of seriously bad things when he was sober so she feared even more now she recognised that he was possibly drunk. She had never been more terrified in all her life. Even in her battered state, she was able to see the irony of this considering that she had been dodging German bombs for the past four months.
‘You need to be taught a proper lesson,’ he said. ‘I have been too soft with you over the years. Allowing you to take in that bastard and let you treat him like he was a son of ours was a massive mistake, one I have always regretted. Well know this. He will never be welcome back here again. Never. If that little prick ever shows his face around here again I will have him killed like his father, mark my words.’
Victoria was too frightened to respond. She could not comprehend what he was saying to her.
‘Anyway,’ he continued. ‘That boy was never a Holbrook. He will never have my name and h
e will never take away what is legally mine. Never. He enlisted as Cooke anyway and as a private soldier? Not even an officer.’
‘He had to,’ replied Victoria, wincing with the effort she had to make in order to speak, each breath she was taking causing her more discomfort, ‘it was on his birth certificate. He couldn’t go in as Holbrook. And he never wanted any of this. He never asked for it and he never wanted it. If his poor mother hadn’t died he would have still been with her.’
‘He’s a bloody coward too,’ said Alexander ignoring her. ‘He only left to get away from me. He couldn’t stand me nor I him. And I could never understand the way you doted on him. You always loved him more than me. Always. I could never do any right in your eyes, no matter how hard I tried.’
‘You never tried. You’re fooling yourself.’
‘Oh yes I did. But you always chose to spend your time with him and the twins.’
‘You were always off with other women. You never wanted me, Alexander, and I never wanted you. We should cut our losses and get divorced. We should have done it years ago. There is no need for you to be so violent toward me, no need at all.’
Alexander began to weep. ‘My mother and father loved him more than me. I was always their mistake, their inconvenience. When he ran off with that whore it broke them. He turned his back on this life. The Baronetcy didn’t matter to him but it was all I craved and it destroyed them when they realised that the line would end if he chose to abandon it. If he died then I would get it but that wasn’t what they wanted. They hated me.’
‘No they didn’t,’ replied Victoria. ‘They loved you. You were their son. They were upset when he left but I think it was more out of embarrassment as to what he’d done than anything else. They loved you both equally, I’m sure of it.’
She was starting to feel a little sorry for him, despite what he had just done to her, but then it struck her what he had said a few moments earlier. ‘What did you say a minute ago, about John’s death?’
‘What?’ he said defensively. ‘What do you mean?’
‘What was it you said, ‘have him killed like his father’? What did you mean by that?’
‘Nothing,’ replied Alexander nervously. ‘A figure of speech that’s all.’
‘What do you know of his death? Do you know how he died?’
‘He died at Arras didn’t he? The Germans killed him,’ Alexander stood up and walked to the sink in the corner of the room. He turned on the tap and splashed cold water into his face.
‘You know something don’t you?’ said Victoria, sensing his discomfort at the way the conversation was going. Then she remembered what Georgina had said to her all those years ago, about the mysterious way in which John had passed. About the broken officer who had met her and told her what had happened. She remembered then that she had written it in the journal she had been keeping. If she got the chance then she would take a look later and re-read what she had written.
‘I have no idea what you’re talking about,’ replied Alexander after a while. Victoria could see that he was lying. He was flushed and she could tell it was not from the alcohol. However, she did not want to push him too far, the pain in her head and ribs was unbearable and the last thing she wanted was for him to attack her again.
‘OK,’ she said, ‘so where do we go from here?’
‘Nowhere,’ he replied. ‘We carry on as we are. I will not grant you a divorce, no matter what you say.’
‘After what you’ve done to me I don’t think that you really have a choice.’
Alexander approached her once more. ‘I have a choice alright,’ he said. ‘It’s you who have no choice. You will do as I say. You are my wife and you should not forget it.’
‘I haven’t been your wife for a long time.’
‘Well it’s about time that you started to be a proper wife again then isn’t it?’
Without warning Alexander leaned over and placed his hand over her mouth. He climbed onto the bed and lay on top of her. Victoria struggled, but the pain she was feeling made escape impossible. She could not breathe, the blood had congealed in her nose and with his hand over her mouth it was impossible to take in any oxygen. She did the only thing that she could and she bit down hard on his hand in an attempt to free herself.
Alexander let out a short scream and jerked his hand away. As she struggled to regain her breath he looked at his hand and saw that she had drawn blood. ‘You fucking bitch!’ he yelled and struck her across the face.
The pain was now becoming unendurable. The blow to her face set her nose bleeding again and his weight upon her ribs was agonising. She could not move and there was absolutely nothing she could do to prevent him from taking control of her. She had never felt so helpless.
She was aware of him fumbling and realised that he was unfastening his trousers. Then the shock of what he was about to do hit her like a bullet. How could he even think of doing such a thing? How could he be so cruel and evil? She was totally at his mercy and she understood that there was no way out for her. If she struggled then he was likely to use extreme violence and she was not sure that she could take it. She genuinely feared for her life. He rummaged at her clothing, pinning her to the bed, leaving her helpless. Her attempts at escape from what he was about to do were weak at best, and she realised that there was nothing she could physically do to prevent it.
As he entered her she tried to take her mind away to a different place. It was the only thing she could do to defend herself against such an attack. She thought of Francis and Elizabeth, her beautiful twins, and of Gregory, as children, all playing happily on the lawns of Ardleigh Manor in the summer sunshine. That had been her happiest time, when they had no cares in the world and life had been as good as it possibly could be. She was aware of him grunting and sweating upon her but she felt nothing. She recognised at that precise moment that what she felt for him was neither hate nor anger. She had never loved him and even at this moment, when he was performing the ultimate violation upon her, she realised that she did not really hate him. The only feelings she had for him was those of pity and repulsion. Other than that there was absolutely nothing, just total indifference. She did not care if he lived or died, or if he even existed. He was a nobody to her.
When he had finished he rose sharply from the bed, adjusted his clothing and quickly left the room, leaving her dishevelled upon the bed.
She could not move. The pain was at a point where all she wanted to do was to sleep, or even to die in order to escape it. She was aware that her breathing was erratic and that she was sobbing gently. She mentally admonished herself for allowing her body to react this way. She did not want to give him the satisfaction of thinking that what he had done had ‘put her in her place’. There was no way she could let him win.
After a few minutes Edwina entered the room. On seeing her lying on the bed, semi-conscious with her skirt raised, she immediately understood what had taken place. She gently closed the door behind her and walked to the bed. She tried to contain her sobs but was unsuccessful, the tears pouring down her face.
Victoria was only half aware of Edwina’s presence. Then she saw her and smiled but Edwina could tell that she wasn’t fully cognisant of her surroundings.
Edwina went to the sink and poured a glass of water. She returned to the bed and stroked her forehead, applying the glass to her lips which Victoria drank from readily.
After a while Victoria attempted to sit up, struggling with the pain.
‘Be careful, my love,’ whispered Edwina. ‘Stay still. I’ll have to get a doctor or an ambulance. You need medical attention which I’m unable to give you.’
Victoria was becoming more conscious. ‘Not yet,’ she said. ‘We’ll have to wait until he has left the house. There’s no way he will allow anyone else to see me like this.’
‘We need the police too. He can’t get away with this. Look at the state of you, this is terrible.’
Victoria smiled at her. ‘Do you think he is going to allow th
at either? He will see me dead first.’
Edwina started to cry again.
‘Don’t cry Eddie,’ Victoria said gently. ‘Please don’t cry. Once he has left we will get to the hospital and then we’ll move out. We’ll find somewhere to go where we can work out what we are to do next.’
Edwina stroked her head again and smiled back. ‘Yes,’ she said after a few moments. ‘Let’s do that.’
‘What happened to you?’ enquired Victoria. ‘When that horrible little man took you away?’
‘He just locked me in one of the rooms down the corridor. When Sir Alexander came back he was told to let me out. I came straight back here.’
Victoria was lost in thought. After a while she said. ‘Edwina I’m concerned about something Alexander said when he was in here. About John.’
‘What was that, my love?’
Before Victoria could reply a familiar wailing noise filled the air outside. The air raid siren, the sound that had disturbed their lives for the last four months, was letting out its warning to the masses that the Germans were back. Back to wreak more devastation and hardship upon the already hammered city and its people.
‘Here we go again,’ said Edwina. ‘I think they will have to manage without us both for one night. And if I can’t move you from here then we’ll have to sit this one out where we are.’
Victoria nodded weakly.
‘What were you about to tell me?’ asked Edwina.
‘Something Alexander said about John. It was as though he knew what happened to him. He said if Gregory returned then he would have him killed. And then he said ‘like his father’. I asked him what he meant and he became very defensive, saying it was a figure of speech but I could tell he was lying. If you remember what Georgina told us….do you remember….about some officer who met her after the war to give her John’s things? He told her that the way John died was rather strange. I wrote about it in my journal.’
Edwina held her hand. ‘You need to calm down. Don’t overexcite yourself. You need to relax.’
‘Yes, but do you remember?’ asked Victoria anxiously.