by Mary Wood
‘I’d put money on it. He was armed, for one thing. An innocent visitor doesn’t carry a gun. Aldric even being in this country, under the guise of being French . . . Oh, I know he could hardly come in as a German, but the authorities in France are German and would be unlikely to give a pass to a Frenchman. I can’t understand how I was taken in by that. I didn’t even question it. Whereas you—’
‘I had prior knowledge. Anyroad, Aldric’s in captivity now and I don’t have to carry a lie inside me, and that’s good. But what do you think the police will make of me story?’
‘You couldn’t possibly know that Aldric was a spy, or that he would come here. I don’t think you have anything to worry about. The moment he did show up here, you went into action. I should think you’ll be given a medal for your bravery.’
This made her feel better, but something still niggled at her. ‘We have to tell Roland the truth about his nationality. I lied to him about that. But I was just trying to protect Lucinda’s good name and keep some of the confidence she’d entrusted me with.’
‘He’ll understand.’ Simon shifted to sit next to Flo once more as he said this. ‘Come here. Snuggle up to me again.’
As his arm came round her, part of her felt this was where she was meant to be. If things were different – if Simon was different – she could let her feelings for him have their full rein. Because she loved him dearly. No, it was more than that. She’d already acknowledged to herself that she was in love with him. But it was all so hopeless.
As if her feelings had been spoken aloud, Simon nuzzled her neck. His whisper was of love. Her heart thudded desire around her body – desire she knew would forever remain unrequited. Sighing, she sat up. She had to address their situation before it got out of hand and ruined everything. ‘You’ve to stop being so demonstrative in your loving towards me, Simon. I have feelings for you. I knaw it’s daft. I knaw your situation. But I can’t fight them on me own. And you’re not helping matters, kissing me neck and holding me so close and – well, your words. They make me believe things could be different.’
‘Oh, Flo, there’s times when I’m with you that I believe they can be. I do love you. I love you in a way that I’ve never known before. I even feel aroused by you, which is something I was certain couldn’t ever happen with a woman. But it’s true. I want to make love to you – with you. Oh God, what a mess.’
Flo’s heart sang a joyous song, but only for a moment. Soon it was crying with pain.
It wasn’t easy standing up in the Anderson shelter, but if you moved towards the middle you could. She did that now and stood with her arms folded. ‘I’d not be able to share you. It ain’t in me. I’d have to ask you to choose, and I can’t do that. I knaw the love you have for Roland. It ain’t that I don’t believe it’s not possible to love two people – I do; but I don’t reckon as it’s possible to carry on a relationship with both. This between us has to end now. We have to get over it, and put our friendship back onto a proper footing. I think it may be our grief for Lucinda – and yours in particular – that has made us cling to each other in a physical way, as well as being bound like soulmates. But that will pass. Or at least it’ll get easier, and we won’t be dependent on each other so much. Shall we make a pact?’
‘Yes. We will make a pact. I promise not to show how much I love you ever again. I promise to love and treat you as a dear friend only. I promise . . . Oh, Flo, it’s going to be difficult, very difficult. What’s the matter with me? My life was all cut-and-dried, and now you have turned it upside down.’
A tear ran down Flo’s cheek. Another followed it and dripped off the end of her nose. Just yesterday she’d found a way to cope, but now the future stretched interminably. A future of being near to Simon, of loving him, and of watching him love Roland. She should be jealous of that, but she wasn’t; they were right for each other. She was the one who should bail out, but could she?
The wail of the all-clear siren filled her mind. It seemed to signal not only the end of the air raid, but the end of her dreams.
18
Molly
No One is Who They Seem
Molly shivered uncontrollably. Every limb shook with fear and pain. Hunched up on her bed, she lay still, hardly thinking, hardly functioning. The last beating had nearly finished her. She just wanted to die.
The sound of the bedroom door opening had no effect. No one could hurt her any more than she already was hurting.
‘Molly?’
Shocked at whose voice it was, Molly wanted to turn and spit in Delilah’s face.
‘Molly, I’m sorry, I . . .’
Through squinting, swollen eyes, Molly saw Delilah slump down on the bed opposite. ‘You’re vile, Delilah, vile.’ The words would hardly form, but Molly put as much venom into them as she could.
‘I shouldn’t have done it. I know that. I was only trying to make me own life a bit better. But they beat me, too. And the others, as I gave away that we were all out on Christmas Day, when we’d been locked in.’
‘Christ, Delilah, why? You’d never have gained from it. And from what I can see, you’ve had more than a beating.’
‘The others set about me, after Gus had finished with me. I want out, Molly.’
‘Don’t look at me.’
‘Please, Molly. I know I ain’t to be trusted, as I’ve done bad things, but I know stuff about this place. There’s a back way out. And I have money, an’ all.’
This all sounded incredible to Molly. Delilah couldn’t be trusted in a month of Sundays. Turning away from her caused pain, but she managed it.
‘Think about it, Molly. Two together have a better chance than one. I can’t undo all the bad I’ve done, but I can make amends, if yer’ll let me.’
Molly didn’t answer. If she could, she’d get up and punch Delilah, but instead she curled into a ball and closed her eyes. Flo came into her mind. Somehow hope had been planted in her since she’d met Flo. She hoped with all her heart that Flo had survived the terrible air raid of Sunday night. London hadn’t experienced anything like it before.
A plan began to form. She’d get better, then she’d leave and try to find Flo. She’d find that ARP first, as it sounded from what Flo was saying that his wife also worked for the Sallies. Maybe she knew how to contact Flo and that bloke. Though he wasn’t all that friendly. Trixie’s fault, for she’d put his back up when she spoke a bit hard to Flo. Funny bloke. He looked like a nancy boy, and yet he seemed more than fond of Flo.
These thoughts led to thinking of David. Would she ever see him again? If she did, would he want her? Her hand brushed away the tear this provoked – she’d cried all she could and it got her nowhere. She had to keep a level head and think about her escape.
‘That Trixie were asking after you. She threatened to kill me if anything happened to you, but I told her I was sorry and wanted to help.’
Molly remained silent.
‘She believed me when I said I wanted to help yer.’
‘Why should she believe you? Everyone hates you, Del. No one trusts you.’
‘I can prove it. She said to tell you she has left the coat yer wanted with Dolly, in case yer make a move and she ain’t around. But if yer do, then contact her as soon as yer know yer safe.’
‘What, Trixie said all that to you! You’re a liar. You’ve found out something and you’re testing to see if it’s true. Well, it ain’t. I know nothing about any coat.’
‘Trixie and me used to be mates.’
What crap is this? Trixie would have said, if she’d known Delilah before. She hates the girl. Trixie would never lie. Not to me, would she?
‘Look, it was a long time ago. We were at school together, only she didn’t remember me. Me name was Martha Gardner. When I told her, she said there was always sommat familiar about me. She was shocked, but understood how I’m like I am. She didn’t blame me. She said that she wished you’d be a bit more like me.’
Molly couldn’t take this all in. Something in
her felt sorry for Delilah, but she knew she could never be like her. ‘No, thanks. I wouldn’t shop any of the girls in here, even though none of them give me the time of day.’
‘Gus kidnapped me as well, yer know.’
Martha Gardner? Of course, I remember when she went missing. It was all in the papers. It was Gus who took her? My God! Molly turned painfully round to stare at Delilah; she hadn’t guessed anything like this. Delilah always gave the impression that she was there because she wanted the life. She watched a tear trickle down Delilah’s face. Pity entered her, but she cautioned herself, still unsure whether to trust her.
‘It was a long time ago, before he hooked up with Eva. Gus murdered me dad and raped me mum, over and over. I was only twelve. He took me as a punishment to me mum, though I don’t know what he was punishing her for. He made me into his own personal slave. He took me so low that I could no longer think for meself. When me mum died, he laughed as he told me, and used it as another reason that I couldn’t leave, as I had nowhere to go; and no one who would keep up the pressure to look for me, like my mum had. I still don’t know how me mum died, and wonder if Gus murdered her, too. Me name’s still on the missing list. Gus set me to spy on the girls they have here. It’s the only way I can please him. I’ve been under threat of death. And I know he would do it, as what I’ve told him over the years has led to some girls being found in the Thames.’
The tear turned to a deluge.
‘I’m sorry for what happened to you, Delilah, but I’m still struggling to understand how you did what you did, knowing it would cause the death of someone you worked here with. I could be next. All of this could be a ploy that you’ve cooked up to get me to trust you, and then you run to Gus and I’m a goner.’
‘No! I promise. I’ve had enough. I have too much on me conscience. When they started to beat you, and the other girls got a punishment for leaving on Christmas Day, I felt sick to the stomach. I think they are planning on you being next, and I can’t take another killing. When the first one happened I nearly took me own life. I swallowed some pills, but I vomited them up. It was then that I realized I didn’t want to die. I wanted some sort of a life. The more I told Gus, the better me life became. But I kept it to snippets – nothing I thought would lead to another death. The second one died because she was going to go to the police. I thought she’d just be punished, but they used her as an example. You’ve taken one punishment, because of me finding your stash, and though it was bad, they didn’t kill you because Gus likes to have you himself sometimes. But now you’ve helped one of us to escape, I’m really scared. I want to help you to get away, but I have to go with you or I’ll die, I know it. Please, Molly.’
‘You’re scum, Del – scum. You don’t deserve to live. But if I’m to get out without you blabbing, then I can see that I have to take you with me. We won’t stay together. I couldn’t have you along with me. I’ll talk to Trixie, and we’ll get you out and help you to get away, but you’ll be on your own.’
‘Thanks, Molly. I just need help to make that break. I’ve always been too scared to do it, and wouldn’t know what to do. I might appear worldly, but I know nothing other than a few years with me mum and dad, and then being under Gus’s control. I never saw the light of day for years. Try to understand, Molly.’
‘I’m trying. And maybe, when I’m free, I’ll be ready to forgive you. But me life is in danger because of you. And for what reason, eh? Just so that you could make yourself look good in the eyes of that bastard, Gus.’
Delilah wiped her eyes, then said she was sorry once more and left the room. Molly’s stomach clenched. Is she really genuine, or has she gone to Gus right now, to tell about me planning to get out? Oh God!
Getting off the bed caused Molly excruciating pain, but she managed it. Feeling her ribs tenderly, she felt sure they were broken, for a sharp pain stabbed her as she gasped in air. She’d hoped to recover for a few days, but now she had to leave – and leave now!
The door opened and Delilah sidled back in. ‘Here, if you won’t take me with you willingly, then I’m not coming, but I want you to have this.’
Molly stared at the wad of notes. ‘You mean it? Really mean it? Will you help me to get out that back way you spoke of?’
‘Yes, I will. Eva, Gus and Lofty are out. If you can make it now, I’ll help you, but where will you go?’
‘I’m not telling you that, Delilah. But I will take you with me. I’ll get Trixie to help you get away, using the same route as Ruby did, but we’ll not tell you about it, just in case. I still can’t trust you. You will just have to follow our directions. I’ll have to make a phone call. But this has to be the end of it. Once you’re free, you’re to go to the police and tell them everything. But you have to wait until Trixie lets you know that I’m safe, otherwise they’ll intensify their search for me. I intend joining the ATS. They can’t get hold of me then, as I’ll be protected. But as soon as you’re given the word I’m in the ATS, you have to smash this evil gang. I can’t do it, as I still have someone I . . . well, that I’m attached to and need to protect.’
Delilah’s eyes leaked tears, but she wiped them away. ‘Your dad?’
Molly was shocked. ‘How did you know about him?’
‘I know a lot, Molly. I didn’t just tell, I listened. But thanks. Thanks, Molly. I promise you, I’ll go to the police once we’re both safe. Will you be able to contact me to let me know you’re all right? I won’t do anything till then, as your life could still be in danger.’
‘I will. Now tell me about this back door.’
‘There’s some stairs behind the door that’s marked “Private” and is always locked. I have a key to that, and to the door at the bottom of the stairs that leads into an enclosed yard. I stole them once and had a set cut. There’s three, so I think the third one will fit the gate to the yard, but if it doesn’t, then there’s some crates stacked in the yard. It’ll be a matter of climbing onto them to get over the wall, but there’s a five-foot drop on the other side. I don’t know if you’ll make that.’
Molly couldn’t believe what she was hearing. ‘So why haven’t you left before, then?’
‘Where would I go? I need you and Trixie to help me, but she won’t help me unless I help you.’
‘Ah, so we have the truth of it now. You’re only doing this to save your own skin.’
‘It’s a good enough reason, and one you’ll believe, so what’s the odds?’
Molly acknowledged that Delilah had a point, as it was a reason she could understand and trust. This made her feel better about it all. She eased herself down onto the edge of the bed and thought about everything for a moment. Getting Delilah away shouldn’t be much of a problem, for they’d already proved that the route to her Aunt Bet, and then on to Scotland, worked, or at least it seemed that way. She only hoped that Ruby had contacted Trixie by now, so that she would know for sure. There was just herself to consider. In her present condition she wouldn’t get far. She needed the help of someone to hide her for a few days. Flo came to mind. Molly felt certain Flo would do anything to help her. She hadn’t spoken to her much, but there was something about her. A caring nature and courage. But what if she couldn’t find Flo?
Admitting she might have to do this by herself was frightening, but she couldn’t let the fear take root. She’d have to hide out on her own until she was well. There were plenty of boarded-up places. Yes, most were condemned, but that would suit her, as no one would go near them. Warmth and food might be a problem, though. For a moment Molly felt despair drag her down, but she dismissed it. She had to do this, and she had to do it now. She would lie to Trixie and say she was going to the ARP’s wife. Well, it wouldn’t really be a lie, as she would do that once she was better. She’d ask Dolly to pack her some food up – enough to last a couple of days, just in case.
‘What’re yer thinking about, Molly?’
‘More than I can cope with at the moment. Look, initially we’re going to need each other.
I want you to find something to strap me up with, so that I can walk. Then help me to dress. I need to put several layers on. And I need a blanket.’
‘None of that’s a problem. We can rip the sheet to strap you up and take the—’
‘If that’s the way you think, then we have a big problem. How’s it going to look, if one of the girls comes in and finds the bed wrecked, eh? Where are the others, anyway?’
‘Out. Despite what happened last time they went out without Eva knowing, they’ve done it again. They didn’t say where.’
‘They wouldn’t, would they? They know what you’re like. I’m surprised they’ve even taken the chance of you knowing what they’ve done.’
‘They said they would kill me if I told, and they meant it. That Elsie scares me. She held a knife to me throat as she threatened me. They seemed satisfied that I was telling the truth, when I promised I wouldn’t breathe a word.’
‘Good. So the coast is clear. Get a sheet and blanket from the store cupboard. And hurry.’
Stepping outside gave Molly the full impact of the dreadful night of the 29th. Utter and complete destruction met her. Blackened buildings teetered, bricks and debris lined the road and the path. The smell of smouldering fires choked her. Placing her handkerchief over her nose and mouth, she lowered her head and, with the help of Delilah, set off for Dolly’s cafe.
Trixie stood outside Dolly’s. She waved to Molly in what seemed like an excited, hurry-up kind of way. Molly thought she’d never be able to hurry again. When she reached her, Trixie burst out, ‘I’ve heard from Ruby. She’s in Scotland, and all settled. Having the bleedin’ time of her life she is, mate.’
The words drained Molly. It was all she’d been waiting to hear, and now that she had, it was as if her last strength left her.
‘Here, have they been at you again, girl? You look a mess. Let’s get yer inside.’
‘Ooh, don’t hold me there, Trixie, I think me ribs are broken.’