by Mary Wood
The thought came that the world was a dangerous place and all of this could be shattered in an instant, as had happened to her before when she’d lost her darling Simon. But then something very strange happened. An image of Simon floated above the dresser. He was smiling, and a feeling entered Flo that told her he was always by her side, that he was happy for her and that he’d never let anything hurt her again.
She smiled back.
Art squeezed her arm. ‘Are you all right, darling?’
‘Aye, I am. I’ve never been more all right in me life.’ And she meant it. With Simon looking out for them, she and Art were going to come through this war, she was sure of it.
26
Molly
Finding a Way
The tea burned Molly’s lips. She sipped slowly, tentatively, blowing the steam away and making whirlpools in the top of her cup. Her thoughts were far away from the little kitchen in which she’d suffered so much abuse from her dad, but which now looked different as she’d painted it a bright yellow and had accessorized in blue. She’d been lucky to get the roll of yellow material covered in blue flowers, which had run to making curtains and a cloth for the table. The decor spoke of happiness and gaiety, but Molly felt neither.
The news that her dad had died in prison from a sudden heart attack was playing with her emotions. Part of her felt glad she’d never see him again, but the little girl inside her remembered the jolly, handsome, kind man who always had time for her, and had cared for her in a gentle way after her mama had died. How did he turn into the monster he became?
A tear plopped onto her cheek for the lost dad of her young days, though her heart was full of hate for the one who lay on a cold slab in the prison mortuary.
She’d refused to take charge of his body. They could do with it whatever they wanted to. She wanted none of the pretence of a funeral, where mourners gathered just for the food and drink.
Her thoughts went to David. How often that had happened since she’d been back home. How often her walks had taken her past the ruin of his house, and through into the park. It was a different feel from talking to Hettie. Hettie was gone – really gone – and Molly could connect with her spirit, but was David dead? She didn’t know. There was plenty of talk of concentration camps, so maybe he was in one of those? The thought of the treatment of the Jews, which David had told her about, shuddered through her. If David’s alive, please God, keep him safe. Funny how much she prayed these days. And how much store she now set by doing so; after all, prayers had become a solace to her at times, and she could say they were answered. Hadn’t she prayed for release from the clutches of Eva, Gus and Lofty? And for an end to the Blitz? And for the safety of Ruby? All had happened; now all she needed was for God to bring David home.
Sighing, Molly picked up the Registration for Employment form. She and Ruby had both been issued with one, now that the welfare officers who’d been taking care of them and Martha, throughout the trial and since it ended, had finally declared them mentally able to cope, and their doctor had said they were strong enough physically.
They rarely saw or heard of Martha. It seemed that her parents’ estate, which hadn’t amounted to much at the time of their deaths, had been astutely taken care of by their solicitor, in the hope that one day Martha would turn up. Now that she had, she was a wealthy young woman and had taken an apartment in the West End. Molly doubted whether Martha would ever be called upon to take up war work, as the trauma she’d been through was considered to be far worse than that of Molly and Ruby. Another sigh escaped her as she thought of the hard-faced Martha. Trauma? I doubt that lady knows the meaning of the word!
Filling in the form, Molly put her preference down as the ATS. She knew this force was the least popular among women, as the conditions were said to be inferior to the other forces and ATS women had a name for being promiscuous, but she’d always fancied the army.
Just as she was signing it, Ruby burst through the door. ‘Guess what? Trixie’s here!’ Ruby’s excitement gave Molly a pang of jealousy – Ruby had always adored Trixie. Oh, Ruby returned the love Molly had for her, but theirs was just a friendship, whereas the feeling Ruby showed for Trixie seemed to be a lot more.
Trixie followed Ruby through the door. Molly noticed but didn’t comment on the suitcase she placed at her feet. Standing up, Molly opened her arms to Trixie. ‘What’s wrong, love?’
Trixie’s sobs filled the room, distressing Ruby enough to make her cry, too. ‘Refill the kettle, Ruby. Come on, Trixie, let’s go through to the parlour and you can tell us all about it.’
Molly and Ruby sat staring at Trixie. Molly could see that Ruby couldn’t take in what she was hearing, no more than she could herself. They knew Peggy hadn’t been well, but for her to have gone and died just didn’t seem believable.
‘We all took care of her. All of her girls, and there was a funeral to be proud of, with all the street workers – no matter who they worked for – turning out. It was like a bleedin’ carnival, a right good send-off.’
‘Oh, Trixie, I’m sorry. I always envied you having Peggy to look after you, when me and Ruby . . . well, you know. More than most, you know what I mean. But for you, we’d still be there. If there’s anything you need, no matter what it is, we’re here for you, love.’
A tearful Ruby nodded.
‘I’ll be all right. I’ve had enough of working the streets. To tell the truth, I’ve had enough of men, an’ all. I’ve volunteered for the Land Army.’
‘What!’ This was such a shock, and nothing Molly had ever dreamed of happening, that it caused her to giggle. ‘What about that house you were always going to run, eh? I can’t see you getting your hands dirty, Trixie.’
‘I told yer, I’ve had enough. And if I have, I can’t expect others to do the work for me, can I? Anyway, I’m capable, you know; you needn’t bleedin’ laugh at me.’
‘I’m not. Oh, Trixie, you have to see the funny side, though. I can just picture you in wellies and dungarees,’ Molly spluttered, then laughed uncontrollably. The others hesitated, but were joining in before long. It felt good. As if they were truly healed.
‘Well, I’m joining them, an’ all, then. And if they don’t send me to the same place as you, Trixie, I’ll refuse to pick up a bloody spade!’
This, from Ruby, had them in stitches once more. ‘Oh God. Help! Me sides are splitting.’
No one could help Molly as they were all in the same predicament. It was as if the world had gone mad, and it took a while for them to calm down. Each time they tried they would look at each other and burst out again.
When at last the bout of laughter passed, Molly asked Trixie to tell them all about it and what she’d done so far. ‘Not a bleedin’ lot. I went to the exchange to register me interest in war work, and the cow behind the desk looked me up and down and said, “Don’t you think it’s about time?” I told her to mind her own, and give me the bleedin’ forms. She had the cheek to say, “I think you’d be more suited to one of the factories.” And that’s when the Land Girls popped into me head. It was a poster on the wall that did it – a jolly-hockey-sticks type waving a pitchfork. I wished I had one of them and could jab the miserable cow with it, so I thought: That’ll do me. Every time I stuck a bale of hay with me pitchfork, I could imagine I was sticking it through all the men who’ve taken advantage of me.’
Molly wanted to laugh at this, but she’d exhausted her ability to and was only able to manage a giggle.
‘So I’m fully signed up and awaiting me deployment. I’ve given this address, Molly, I hope yer don’t mind. And if I could beg a bed till it happens, I’ll be grateful to yer.’
‘Yer can share mine, Trixie.’ Ruby said this with such enthusiasm that Molly found herself blushing.
But Trixie surprised her. She looked at Ruby with love in her eyes and, much as a lover might, answered, ‘I’d like that, girl. I would.’
Molly didn’t know what to make of everything.
‘Molly, me an
d Ruby might as well tell yer. I expect yer’ll be shocked, but we realized, when we were forced apart, just how much we meant to each other – and that it was more than in the way friends are close. We started writing to each other, and our letters turned to love letters. And since Ruby’s been back, we’ve met up a few times and, well, we both know our love is different, but it’s real. We want to be together for the rest of our days.’
‘I – I had no idea! I don’t know what to say.’
‘Yer could bleedin’ say yer pleased for us.’
‘Trixie, don’t talk to Molly like that. She’s me best friend, and it’s been a shock to her, that’s all. Yer have to give her time to get used to it.’
‘No, it’s fine. I – I’m pleased for you. I am. Really pleased. Two of me best mates becoming a couple. It’s wonderful. Like Ruby says, it’s just so unexpected, that’s all. Come here, let’s give you both a big hug.’
The three huddled together. Molly couldn’t really take in what they had told her, but these women had been her life for so long, and she knew she wouldn’t have made it through without them, so no matter what made them happy, she was happy to accept it and allow their happiness.
‘Well, get your stuff moved in then, Trixie, love. You’re very welcome. And you move yours too, Ruby. You two can have the room with the double bed in. When you’re ready, we’ll have a bite to eat. We can sit out in the back yard. It no longer smells of rotting meat. I had a couple of blokes come and clean it all down.’ And in doing so I’ve finally erased the smell of Foggy. May he rot in jail, the rotten sod!
As Trixie and Ruby went through the door giggling together, Molly wondered if she’d ever get used to this turn of events. It embarrassed her, if she was truthful, but she was happy that these two dear people were at last safe and joyous. She’d try to celebrate that for their sake, and for the sake of the friendship she couldn’t live without.
The situation wasn’t without its irony. Ha, that’d make her dad turn on the cold slab: two lesbians in his bed! Molly nearly laughed out loud, but the photo of her dad and mum caught her eye. She picked it up off the top of the piano and for a moment wanted to take it out of its frame and rip it in half, keeping just the half with her mum on. But no. Her dad was her dad. She remembered him how he used to be. And for the sake of her mum, and any regrets that she herself might have in the future, she would contact the prison and tell them she’d changed her mind. She wouldn’t have a big funeral for him; in fact she’d not tell anybody about it, but she’d have him brought to the church down the road and buried next to her mum. She could do that much for her mum, couldn’t she?
On her way home from the church two weeks later, Molly felt a sadness in her that she couldn’t explain. It wasn’t for her dad, not altogether; but for everything – broken London, the lives lost, her own experiences, her mum, David; oh, just everything. She wished she could scream and scream, as that seemed the only thing that would give her release.
Turning into Sebastopol Road, she was taken aback for a moment. A large car, black and sleek, stood outside her house. It took a few seconds to register that it wasn’t the car of her nightmares, but a Rolls-Royce . . . Flo! Oh God, Flo and Art are here.
Breaking into a run, Molly was out of breath by the time she arrived at her house. She banged the knocker, as if her life depended on someone opening the door, before she remembered she had her key. The door swung open and she was in Flo’s arms.
‘Oh, Flo, why didn’t you tell me you were coming? Oh, I’m so pleased to see you.’
‘Eeh, lass, I’m pleased to see you, an’ all. Pauline’s here, and Art, and we’ve met your mate, Ruby, and Trixie of course.’
‘Oh, Flo. You’re really here.’
‘Aye, I am. And you’re looking well, love. Though a bit on the tired side. Are you all right?’
Molly burst into tears.
‘Eeh, lass, what’s to do?’
Feeling stupid, Molly blurted out, ‘I’ve just buried me dad.’ But instead of the tears continuing, laughter bubbled up. ‘He’s gone, Flo. It’s over. Over.’ The tears took over once more, crumpling her body, draining her.
‘Eeh, Molly, let’s get you to a chair. Move, everyone, let Molly come through.’
Molly saw a sea of faces lining the entrance hall. She couldn’t distinguish who was who, but they all moved to let her into the parlour. Once there, they came into focus, and she smiled weakly at each of them.
‘I’m sorry to intrude on your grief, lav. Here, take me hanky.’
‘Thanks, Pauline. It’s good to see you, love. And you’re not intruding and this ain’t grief – at least, not for me dad, it’s not. I think seeing Flo just released a knot that needed shifting, though it will never go until I know what’s happened to David.’
Why she said that, she didn’t know. Only Ruby knew anything of David, and she doubted she’d remember the early days, when Molly had talked of trying to get a message to him.
‘The kettle’s hot, and I was just going to make a cuppa. Me and Trixie will bring it through – the tray’s all ready. I’ve told Trixie about David, so you tell the others while we’re busy in the kitchen, eh, love?’
‘So you remember then, Ruby?’
‘Of course I do. How could I forget the pain I knew that you, me best mate, was suffering.’
‘Ta, Ruby. I could do with unburdening meself. Everyone, find a pew.’
Flo sat next to her and Molly felt her arm come round her. When Molly had finished telling them about David, Art was the first one to speak. ‘You say he was a pilot, lost over Italy? I’ve heard of a list that is kept of servicemen in concentration camps. It’s part of the Geneva Convention that all prisoners have to be reported to their own countries. That’s how they are able to let families know that loved ones are prisoners of war. I’ll try to find out for you, especially with David being in the RAF – he’s one of our own. Write David’s full name down for me, and I’ll do what I can.’
‘Aye, and me an’ all. Me mate who I live with, she’s from top-drawer folk and they have their own solicitor. He’s been helpful to me in getting information about Roland. You know, me friend as is in prison. I could ask this solicitor to help, an’ all.’
Hope surged through Molly. She looked from one to the other. In a way, she didn’t want to know, in case David’s name wasn’t on this list they were talking about and she had to finally face the truth of his death. But neither could she stop them from trying, as a big part of her wanted to know. Had to know.
‘Reet, we have news for you, an’ all, Molly. Me and Art are engaged – look!’
Molly felt her heart fill with warmth, shutting all the cold fear from her. This was such good news. ‘Oh, Flo, Art, congratulations, I’m so pleased. We knew you loved him, didn’t we, Pauline?’
Pauline nodded. She seemed a bit overcome, but then she had her own troubles. But, Molly decided, she wouldn’t ask about them now, for there was a celebration to be had. ‘Right, hold the tea. That lot who raided this place left behind an opened bottle of whisky, as they said they couldn’t be sure it hadn’t been bought legitimately by me dad. I think this calls for us all having a drop.’ Glad to have the distraction, she jumped up and went to the cabinet in the corner of the room. ‘Here it is. Ruby, get some glasses, there’s a love.’
With the glasses filled, Molly lifted hers high. ‘Here’s to Flo and Art: may they have a long and happy life together.’
Everyone clinked glasses and murmured, ‘Flo and Art’, before taking a sip. Amidst the coughing that followed from the women, as none of them were used to such fiery liquid, the chatter started up, mostly questions: When would the wedding be? Where? And would they live in England?
‘Eeh, hold on, let me get me breath,’ Flo laughed, as she told them how the wedding wasn’t being planned until the end of the war. Though she sobered as she said they had discussed where they would live, and she would be going to Canada.
Art broke the silence that followed this
. ‘I’m sorry to take your Flo away from you, but I have a business that I will inherit. I have to be there to run it. But we have plenty of room, and you’re all welcome to come and visit, any time.’
Even knowing this, Molly felt a lump of sadness.
Flo lightened the moment. ‘By, girls, why the long faces? We have a war to win first. This is 1941 and the world is in turmoil. Sadly, it could be years before all this is over, so I’m not going just yet.’
‘But we are, Flo.’ Molly told of the plans they all had; and how she was to go for a medical in a few days and if found to be fit would be despatched to goodness knows where for training. And how Ruby and Trixie would be both going to a farm in the Midlands to work as Land Girls.
Molly could see all of this had an impact on Flo, but she soon brightened. ‘Well, we will all get together when we can. We’ll all have leave to take. We can write to each other, and make arrangements to see each other whenever it’s possible.’
‘That’s right, we can. And, Flo, we have news for you all, an’ all. Me and Trixie are a couple!’
Molly watched Flo, but there was no sign of shock or embarrassment on her face, only joy. ‘By, I’m so glad as you’ve found happiness together. No one deserves it more than you two, after all you’ve been through. I knaw we hadn’t met until today, Ruby, but you’ve been in me mind ever since Molly told me about you. I’m reet happy for you.’ Flo hugged and kissed Ruby and Trixie, and at that moment and for the first time, Molly really accepted them herself.
She’d never told them any different or showed how she felt about their union, but there had been dissent in her. Now that had gone. She rose and joined in the hugging, finally hugging Pauline to her. This kindly little woman had saved her life, and had been with her through some of the worst moments of it. She hadn’t spoken much since being here, but now she said, ‘And I have happy news an’ all. Me mam and me kids are coming home.’
Everyone clapped, even though Trixie and Ruby hadn’t got much idea what Pauline was talking about.