Why was this kid waking me up? I squinted and realized there was no sunshine to shield them from.
“Go back to bed, Tiffy. It’s the middle of the night.” I made a blind grab for my cover.
“I can’t. I need you.” She got back control of the blanket.
“Now?”
“Yes. It has to be when everyone else is sleeping.”
“Why?” I asked, my brain taking longer than the rest of me to come to awareness. I reached out to the other side of the bed, already knowing I’d find it empty.
“He’s not here,” she said, knowing who I was looking for.
“Tiff, I’m really tired. Can’t this wait?”
“No. You told me that you would do whatever it took to help me. I need help now.”
I’d known at the time that those words might come back to bite me in the ass, but I hadn’t expected it to be so soon. But did she have to do this after a long day working on the fence?
“Dal, please, you have to get up.”
She was trying to drag me from the bed with both of her hands.
“Okay, I’m getting up.” I sat up in bed and felt under the mattress for the potion I had from Bitters. I took the smallest sip, hoping that whatever Zarrod had done would be completely worn off by time I finished what was left in the bottle. Tiffy was too busy digging through my chest to notice. I tucked the last bit away before she turned back and thrust clothes at me.
I pulled on pants, figuring this might take a while either way, and if I had to call in reinforcements, being dressed was a good call. Then I grabbed my knives, because what was the point in being dressed if you were naked of arms? Never knew when you’d have to kick some ass and cut some throats.
“Come on.” Tiffy tugged at my hand, and I made the mistake of following her. I wasn’t sure why it was a mistake yet, but it had to be. No good that I knew of had ever come from wandering around in the middle of the night aimlessly.
Still, wandering around the farm didn’t seem too bad, so I let her pull me down the hall and then all the way out the front door.
It wasn’t until we were in the middle of the front lawn that she stopped.
“Now what?” I asked, becoming a bit curious myself, even as I knew I should be heading back to bed. One thing I’d give Tiffy: she was never boring.
“I’m not sure. I heard my friends saying that Zarrod was using you to find something special.”
“Did they say what?”
“No. They didn’t want to talk about it, and they don’t want you to find it.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, but I have this feeling I need to find it too.”
“Why? Tiffy, you have to tell me whatever you know. This is really important.”
“I don’t know anything else. I just feel it.”
“Feel what?”
“Remember how I told you I didn’t feel like me?”
“Yes.”
“I think you can help me with that.”
“Tiffy, I don’t know what I can do for you.”
“I don’t know either, but I need you to try.”
“How?”
She took both my hands. “Close your eyes.”
I did as she asked, but it was hard to think beyond anything other than what the hell were we doing out here.
“Concentrate on helping me.”
Tiffy, something to help Tiffy. Anything linked to Tiffy I could think of, I ran through my head. After a few minutes, I opened my eyes to find her staring intently.
“Well?” she asked.
I hated to disappoint her, but I had nothing. “Tiffy, I’m trying, but I’m not sure what you are looking for.”
“It’s okay. Just walk,” she said.
I wanted to walk back to the house and go to bed, but I picked a random direction instead. We walked until we got to a spot along the northern part of the property.
“We can’t go any farther,” I said, pointing at the newly reinforced fence, hoping she wasn’t going to want us to scale it.
“It’s okay,” she said. “You tried.”
Something was up. “That’s it? You just wanted me to take you here?”
She took my hand and tugged me back in the direction of the house. “It didn’t work, but it’s okay.”
“I can go back to sleep now?”
“Sure.”
Maybe I should’ve asked more questions, but my bed was waiting and I didn’t have the strength tonight.
Chapter 29
I was standing on the back of the property watching more tents getting erected.
“More?” Bookie asked as he came and stood beside me.
“Yep. We need as many as we can get.”
“Do you think they’ll get less weird with time?”
“Bart has gotten a little better.”
Bookie scratched his head and made some general sighs before he said, “I mean, I guess he has.” His agreement was on the fringe of turning into a question. He sounded as if he had about as much confidence in what I’d said as a new foal trying out its legs for the first time.
There had to be something to prove Bart’s behavior had improved. If not for Bookie’s sake, then my own. The more beast men that moved in, the more I needed to believe I wouldn’t come back to a bloodbath one day after picking berries in the forest. Or maybe cutting throats in the forest, but picking berries was a much nicer visual. “He’s not ripping the whole turkey off the plate and attacking it anymore.”
“We haven’t had turkey since he did that.”
Of course Bookie wasn’t going to make it that easy for me. “Well, I for one am choosing to give him the benefit of the doubt that he wouldn’t do that now.”
A short burst of laughter came out of Bookie. “Why don’t you cook a turkey and test it?”
“Maybe I will.”
“I’ll bet you the first read on the next five Moobies he rips it apart.”
We had a standing arrangement that we’d alternate who got the first crack on all good reads. No way was I going to risk first read on Bart having developed manners. “Deal. But it’s going to be a while, because I don’t cook.”
As we both watched the tents being set up, one of the newer beast men appeared. I was fairly certain this one was called Bert. I might have to talk to them before they got stumped and ran out of names that went with Bart.
Bart, who was setting up the tents, waved Bert over. The two of them then stood back, looking at the tent he’d just set up, appearing in general good spirits about his accomplishment.
The whole scene was amusing, but Bookie was still beside me, and that was how I knew what the next subject was going to be.
“When do you go back?” he asked.
“Tomorrow. I don’t really want to discuss it.”
“Why?”
“Because I have to, and I don’t want to hear how I shouldn’t from someone who would do the exact same thing.” That bought me a couple of minutes of silence, just enough to think he might drop the subject and then screw me up when he didn’t.
“Is it bad?”
“I don’t even remember it. I’m asleep the whole time.” I cleared my throat and thought of a different topic, anything that would change the subject. It was hard enough to not worry, and I didn’t need everyone worrying for me. “I’ve got to go hit up a section of the fence. What are you doing today?”
“I’ve got a mare about to drop a foal that I think is going to have complications.” He rocked back and forth on his heels for a minute. “You want me to try and score some more birds?”
I shook my head. “No. I think that might be a lost cause.” I couldn’t waste more birds on something that had already failed so epically.
“You know what they say, if you don’t succeed—”
“You shouldn’t listen to them. They have no idea what they’re talking about and shouldn’t be relied upon for any good advice.” I patted Bookie on the shoulder, hoping he took it for what it was, a silent
thanks for trying, but let’s call it quits.
He nodded, and I left to go work on the fence.
* * *
It was late afternoon by the time I was able to squeeze some gardening time in, and I patted the dirt around the newly transplanted eggplant and then leaned back and looked at the thing.
“Why are you staring at the eggplant?” Tiffy asked as she stopped beside where I was sitting on the ground.
“Because I think I had a dream about it last night.” I’d been sitting in the same place staring at this plant, trying to remember what it was.
“You think you dreamt of that plant? Is that why you moved it all the way over here?” she asked, looking back at where the rest of the garden was, yards and yards away.
“Yes.”
“As far as eggplants go, it’s a nice one. I’m not sure it’s worthy of a dream, but…”
Her words trailed off as a fleeting chunk of the dream from last night returned.
My teacher was standing over me here on the farm. “Lovely eggplant you grew. Just the right place to put it.”
“Why are you here? You don’t belong here,” I asked.
“But I’m your teacher. I’m here to help you learn, Dahlia. Pay attention to what you’re doing.”
I grabbed my canteen and stood, annoyed that the Cement Giant was now invading my gardening time. Would I never rid myself of those damn people?
“Where you going?” Tiffy asked.
“I’ve got to get back to the wall.”
I’d slowed to see the progress on a portion nearby when I caught sight of Dax talking to some workers farther down the border.
Dax’s head turned, as if he knew I’d stopped to watch him. Even from this distance, without a flicker of emotion running across his chiseled features, I could feel the heat.
I stood, brushing off my pants, and started toward him, trying to keep my libido in check, at least until later, when we were alone. In those moments, I wasn’t sure who I was sometimes. I didn’t think in those moments, not about anything as stupid as how I looked or what people might think of me. I simply grabbed on to him like he was all that mattered in the world. I usually didn’t think about what happened after we were done either, or my skin would start to burn.
It was hard to push it from my mind, though. Not when I felt like I did with him, like I was finally complete. I was home.
My steps faltered until I was barely moving. Wait a minute. I’d read stuff like this. I’d been so busy not wanting to ruin those perfect moments with him that I’d missed what they really were. What they meant. I hadn’t just been having sex with him and exploring my newfound freedom and the joy of living. I’d been making love!
How had this happened? When? My thoughts scrambled back to the first time I’d slept with him. Damn, it had been the same thing. I’d never had sex with anyone else, so how could I have known?
I looked up and saw him heading my way and closing in. His forehead was wrinkled as he approached. He always knew when I was out of sorts.
No, no, no. Not yet. I needed to do research before I could deal with this.
“Dal!” he yelled.
“I forgot something! Gotta run!” I yelled as I hightailed it back to the house.
One of the other workers walked over to talk to him, buying me time. I had to get back to the house, like now.
I ran past Fudge and straight to the trunk, scrambling to the good books I hid underneath my clothes. I grabbed the first one I found. I’d read the sex scenes so many times that the book naturally parted to those sections, but that wasn’t what I was looking for this time. I needed research. I needed information.
I frantically flipped through pages, giving myself a paper cut in the process until I found it. The passage where the girl talks about her feelings for the hunky guy.
I looked at him and my heart fluttered.
Did my heart flutter? Sometimes it raced. Yeah, there might be some fluttering.
He touched me and my skin burned.
That was an easy yes.
I couldn’t get him out of my mind. He was always in my thoughts, no matter what was happening at the time.
Oh no. This was not looking good for me.
He was leaving, and as he did, I felt like a part of my soul was being brutally torn from me with each step he took.
The book fell to the floor with a nice thump. I was so screwed. I didn’t have time for this. My life was already too much of a mess.
No. I needed a second opinion from a living, breathing person. But from who? Lucy was crazy, although more accurate than I gave her credit for. But on love? Most of the time she was a better source for anger, vengeance, and the run-of-the-mill negative emotion. Her declaring love for Bart after one day was also a red flag on her judgment. Bookie was too optimistic and happy. He might think it was love just because he liked the idea. Tank didn’t seem to love anyone longer than a couple of weeks by the way things were looking. Bitters? No way was I going there with him.
That left Fudge. She’d probably loved someone in her life, but they were also probably dead now.
Which brought me all the way back to Lucy. I couldn’t believe I was going to do this.
* * *
Where the hell was Lucy the one time I wanted to talk to her? I must be off my rocker to even want to discuss this with her. Had to be. I stalled halfway down the steps of the back porch, telling myself that I should turn around and forget the whole thing.
Then I saw Lucy leaving Bart’s tent, her hair sticking out every which way. Damn, didn’t those two do anything else? She was walking toward the house as happy and stupid as I’d ever seen her. She might as well be shitting rainbows from the look on her face. She smiled as she saw me, and that wasn’t getting any more normal for the frequency.
“What?” she said, stopping halfway up the stairs.
Do I or don’t I? “I need to talk to you for a minute.” I grabbed her arm and tugged her with me. This was not a conversation I could risk having overheard by beast ears. I wanted to have a clear view of all approaching. I didn’t stop walking until we were in the middle of the field, halfway to the gate with a good view from every angle.
“I wanted to have a talk with you about…” I definitely should’ve thought this out a little better. “About you and Bart,” I finally spat out with as much conviction as I could. Now, Lucy would either spill all, because she seemed to like talking about Bart, or she’d punch me in the face. Either way, she wasn’t leaving until I got some answers.
“What about us?”
Her hands shot to her hips, but that was better than my face. And she didn’t look mad. More confused.
“Why are you so sure you’re in love with Bart?” I asked, knowing that even if she did decide to punch me in the face for my invasive question, I’d tackle her to the ground and sit on her if I had to. I was in a bad place, and this idiotic woman in front of me was the source of my answers. The whole situation made me want to sigh and hang my head in shame. How had I let this happen?
She looked up at the sky and the goofy smile made its return.
“I just know.”
I’d never heard Lucy’s voice so soft. It matched the smile, and none of it matched what I knew of her.
And then it disappeared and I was afraid the punch had been delayed but was still coming. “I hope you’re not going to try and warn me off like everyone else, because it’s not happening. I love him and I don’t care if he’s weird.”
Jumping on the weird bandwagon would be such an easy out, but I couldn’t do it to her. “No. I’m happy for you. I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were doing. It’s just that you did only meet him. Why do you think you love him?”
“When a woman is in love, she knows. I mean, come on. You know that.”
I cleared my throat and nodded. “I’m sure they do. But it’s a tricky subject. How can you confirm that it’s love?”
“Holy berries in the Wilds! This isn’t about me. Yo
u’re fishing for information because you’re all messed up,” she said, pointing at my chest. “You don’t know what the hell you’re doing, do you?”
“Shut up! Must you be so damn loud all the time?” I asked, looking around the place and hoping no one had heard her big mouth. She was reminding me of why she’d been last on my list.
Her head cocked to the right and the goofy smile turned into a smug puss. “Fess up—you’re all sorts of confused.”
“I wouldn’t call it confused so much as looking for some finer points.”
She jutted a foot one way and a hip the other while her brows went skyward as she settled in to wait for me to acknowledge she knew all.
“Fine. You’re right. Now spill.”
The smug puss got even smugger. Why had I thought she had redeeming qualities?
“Just spill,” I repeated, before she thought she could gloat for an hour or something equally Lucy ridiculous. “How do you know?”
“Love is easy. You’d die for them, and not because you feel like you should, but you want to, because if they died, you couldn’t imagine going on.”
“How do you know when it’s like love, love, though, and not just a super-special friend?”
She quirked her mouth to the left and then the goofy smile came back, and I knew she was thinking of Bart.
“It’s a hard thing to explain, but I’ve got a feeling you might understand this. When you’re with them, everything is better. You feel like the sun shines brighter, food tastes better, and jokes are funnier when they’re laughing with you. Stupid shit you do every day, like walk from one point to the next, is more enjoyable because they’re walking next to you. Even when you fight with them, the fight is feistier.”
I needed a chair, and soon. There was no doubting it now. I was in love. Damn it all to hell. How had this happened? I was so screwed.
“Can you undo it?”
“Why would you want to? You’re so weird.”
The Magic Page 18