by Lacey Black
As I step outside and head back to the office, I pull out my cell phone and send Maddox a quick text.
It was a nice surprise seeing you at lunch today. Let’s do it again soon.
He responds almost immediately. Let’s. Say tonight after Brooklyn goes to bed?
You’re on. See ya tonight.
Absolutely.
I walk back into my office building and can’t help the smile that’s spread across my face. Another night with Maddox. It doesn’t get much better than that!
Who knew entertaining a three year old would be so exhausting? I’ve played Barbie’s, had a tea party, watched cartoons, and even played outside for a bit, and I’m pretty sure I could have laid down and napped when Brooklyn did this afternoon. If I’m being honest with myself, I actually had a great time with the kid. I drew the line though at playing house and dress-up. I’m already pretty sure that the pictures I caught Jake taking on his phone of me playing Barbie’s are going to bite me in the ass soon.
Jake and I were trying to get control over the mess in the living room while Brooklyn slept in Jake’s bed when I remembered that I wanted to tell Jake about running into Erin Anderson. “So, I ran into Erin this morning.”
Jake instantly perked up and turned to face me. “Where?” he asks, trying to sound casual and failing miserably.
“Hardware store.”
“Did she say anything to you? About anything? About me?”
“What is this, sixth grade? We BS’d about her moving back to town, though she wouldn’t tell me where she was going to be working either. Just said that she’d be starting soon. She was buying stuff to fix up the house she’s renting. Apparently, the landlord is cutting money off her rent if she puts a little TLC into the place.”
“What place is she renting?”
“The old Johnson house on Third Street.”
“Really? That’s a pretty big house for one person.”
“Maybe she’s not the only one who’s living there.”
Jake looks wounded at the thought of Erin living with someone. “I didn’t see a ring on her finger.”
“There doesn’t have to be a ring on the finger to live with someone, Jake. Erin’s gorgeous. I wouldn’t be surprised if she doesn’t have a guy living with her.” I see Jake’s ears turn red when I call her gorgeous, but I choose to ignore his irritation at my comment. He’s trying very hard to hide it, and I don’t feel like calling him out on it again.
“Well, good for her, I guess,” he says as he turns back towards the pile of dolls he was picking up. After a few moments of silence, he can’t seem to help but ask, “She didn’t ask about me at all?”
I laugh out loud, hard. “Nope, sorry. I did offer to help her with any of her little home projects she’s got going on. She didn’t say anything about having someone or not who can help her, but I wanted to be polite and at least offer.”
“Don’t even think about it,” Jake thundered back at me, his face starting to turn an angry shade of red.
“Think about what?” I ask, my defenses instantly on high alert.
“Going over there and sleeping with Erin!” he booms, eyes the same color as his sister’s boring hard into mine.
“What? Dude, I’m not going to sleep with her! She’s great looking and seems nice, but I’m not into her. She’s not the one I want.” Before I can stop the words from flying from my mouth, they are thrown out there waiting for Jake to pounce on them. He looks at me, huge questions written all over his face.
“Who do you want?”
“No one.” Time to redirect. “My point is, I don’t want Erin. She’s all yours. I would never do that to you, anyway; knowing that you kinda have a thing for her.”
Jake’s temper simmers down as he replies, “First off, I don’t have a thing for her. I’m not even sure I like her. She’s…I don’t know. She’s just not like anyone I usually date. And second, I know you wouldn’t try to move in on her. You’re a great friend. I know you wouldn’t do anything to break the guy code.”
Great. Now I feel like an even bigger pile of crap. I would never ever do anything to hurt Jake, but I can’t seem to walk away from his sister. I am breaking the unofficial guy code. But, there’s something there that just draws me to her. I have no response for him. Any way I respond, I’m lying to him. So, I decide to steer the conversation another direction.
“I can’t believe one little girl could have so much stuff,” I say as I throw the little plastic cups and saucers into the bag. “Seriously, I’ve never seen so much pink in my life.”
“And this is only a tiny part of it. You should see her room. By the way, you looked great holding that little pink teapot earlier. The guys at the station love it.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“Oh, I already texted those pictures to the guys,” he responses with a huge grin. I sigh heavily. I just knew he couldn’t keep that shit to himself. Some friend. I can’t help but shake my head and laugh a little because I’m pretty sure I would have done the same thing to him.
*****
I grab the ice cream that I picked up on my way home from Jake’s from the freezer and head out the door. It’s only a few block walk over to Avery’s house, but I don’t mind. The cool night air helps clear my head, and as I discovered on the walk home very early this morning, it also helps wake me up.
After I knock on the door, it takes her a few moments but Avery answers the door looking a little disheveled. Her normally long, blond hair is pulled back in a crazy sort of bun thingy and she has a wild look of worry and fear in her eyes.
“What’s wrong?” I ask as I close the door behind me.
“Brooklyn has a fever. It just started a little bit ago along with this deep cough. I was just going to call you and tell you not to come over. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, babe. What can I do?” I lean down and kiss the crown of her blond head.
“I just dosed her with Motrin and am getting ready to put her in a lukewarm bath. She was fine an hour ago. And now she’s coughing and whining and has a one-hundred and three fever!” Avery starts to tear up as she recalls the past hour with Brooklyn. “I hate it when she’s sick. I feel so helpless.”
“Come here, babe,” I say as I pull her into my chest. She snuggles in close, resting her head on my chest, her hands around my waist. I feel so content with her pressed against me.
“What’s that? It’s cold,” she asks as she starts to squirm and pull away. I realize I still have the ice cream in my hand and just laid it against her back.
“Oh, that’s the dessert I brought for us,” I respond.
“Wait, you have ice cream? That might be good to help cool her.” She grabs the carton from my hand and pulls me into the kitchen.
“I’m going to go get her in the bathtub for a little bit. Can you dish her out a small scoop of ice cream, please?”
“Of course. Whatever you need.”
Avery takes off towards Brooklyn’s bedroom, and I set out to dish up some ice cream. Her kitchen’s pretty small so it doesn’t take me too long to find her bowls and utensils. I can hear Brooklyn start crying when she’s placed in the bathtub. It’s hard for me to hear so I can’t imagine how Avery’s holding up back there. After the bowls are dished up and put in the freezer to keep frozen, I head back towards the bathroom to see if I can lend a hand.
I slowly step into the doorway, not really sure where to look or what to say. “Maddox!” Brooklyn stops whining long enough to holler at me. So, I walk into the little bathroom and crouch down next to Avery who is using a cup to cover her daughter with water. “I sick.” She starts to whimper again and has this glassy, empty look in her eyes.
“I know, kiddo. Your mommy’s gonna try to make you feel better.”
“We pway,” she says and hands me a cup that’s floating in the water. Play in the tub? She might as well have spoken a foreign language. Since I have no idea what I’m doing, I dip the cup down into the water and poor it into ano
ther floating cup. We continue to pour water back and forth between all the floating cups while Avery continues to gently pour the water over Brooklyn’s head, back, and chest. Before I know it, Brooklyn and I are playing happily while she takes her bath. She’s oblivious to the fact that all of this is an effort to try to bring down her fever.
“She hasn’t coughed since she’s been in here,” Avery says as she pours water over her head one last time. “She’s been in here awhile so I can probably get her out now.” I reach down and release the drain as Avery stands Brooklyn up and wraps the towel around her.
“Come on, baby girl. Let’s get a t-shirt on and then we’ll go have some ice cream that Maddox brought over.”
“Ice cweam! I want chocowate ice cweam!”
Avery winks at me as she heads across the hall to Brooklyn’s bedroom. I finish picking up the remains of the bath and head back into the kitchen. I pull out the bowls I stuck in the freezer and set all three bowls of chocolate chip ice cream on the kitchenette. I hear Brooklyn before I see her as she runs around the corner and grabs onto my leg. I pick her up and start to put her in her booster seat at the table, but she won’t let go of me. She’s clutching onto my neck like she’s afraid I’m leaving forever.
“I sit wiff you,” she says in a small voice. How in the hell can I deny her that? I can’t. Period. So, I sit down and place her in my lap. I reach for the small bowl I had just set down in front of her seat and hand her the spoon. She digs in with gusto.
I look up and notice Avery staring at us; watching us very closely. When she looks up and catches my eye, she gives me a little smile. I slide the second bowl in front of her chair and point at her to sit. She does, and together we sit quietly eating our ice cream.
“She’s going to need another bath,” Avery says.
“That’s what I had planned after ice cream tonight. Though, she wasn’t factored into my original plans,” I say coyly with a half grin.
“Sorry that tonight got all messed up.”
“It didn’t. It might not have gone exactly as I was planning, but this actually is just as good.” I take another bite of the ice cream and give her a big smile.
When the ice cream bowls are all but licked clean and mouths have been washed off, Maddox gets up with Brooklyn and takes her into the living room. I hear the TV flip on and he doesn’t seem to have any troubles finding some cartoons, even being after nine o’clock at night. I set out to straightening up the kitchen. Since Brooklyn seems content and there is no noise from the living room except the television, I take the opportunity to wash up a few dishes.
After the dishes are clean and drying in the rack, I head to the living room to check on Brooklyn. When I walk in the room, the sight before me stops me dead in my tracks. Maddox is sitting on the couch, head back, legs stretched out in front of him, and Brooklyn is curled up on his chest, both sound asleep.
I’ve happily raised Brooklyn her entire little life by myself, with no one to help with the day to day meals, laundry, or bedtime, and I wouldn’t change a thing. I’d do it exactly the same all over again and have had not a single regret. Yet, sometimes I wonder if she’ll resent me when she gets older for not making it work with Drake or finding another dad for her. She’s missing out on so much in that respect. I’ve never really thought about it until this moment when I see her curled up in his protective arms, sleeping on his chest. When will my quick answer to the ‘where’s my daddy?’ questions no longer be enough? When will she want to know about Drake and why he’s not in her life? My heart aches for her and what she’s missing out on by not having a relationship with her dad. I won’t force someone like Drake to spend time with her or love her. I want to give her a real daddy. A good daddy. The best daddy. Someone who will protect her and love her like she’s his own fresh and blood. Someone who will do anything for her like I would. Maybe someone like Maddox.
Lost in my own thoughts, I watch them sleep for several more minutes before I decide it’s time to put Brooklyn in her own bed. I start to slip my arms underneath her body when Maddox startles awake. His eyes lock on mine, arms protectively wrapping around Brooklyn. “Sorry, I guess we dozed off.”
“It’s okay. She needs to rest. I want to take her temperature again, get another dose of medicine to make sure the fever is still coming down, and then get her in bed.”
“I’ll help you,” he says as he stands with her tucked securely in his arms. We walk to the bathroom where I use the ear thermometer to take her temperature again. Down to one hundred one point two.
“Much better,” I say as I pull the infant Tylenol from the cabinet. I squeeze out the right dosage in the little syringe administrator that comes with the bottle as Maddox goes about waking her up. She stirs a little but doesn’t fully wake up.
“Wake up, sugar. Your mommy has a little medicine for you to take,” he says as he rubs her forehead and back. She opens her eyes which are still glassy and sick looking, and opens her mouth for her medicine.
“Good girl,” I say.
“Maddox take me nigh-nigh.”
He walks her across the hall and lays her down in her bed. He starts to cover her up, but I interrupt. “Only the sheet. I don’t want her to get too hot and spike her fever again.” He gently lays the sheet over her little body and bends down to kiss her forehead.
“Good night, Bean.”
“Nigh-nigh, Maddox.”
I walk over and crouch down next to her bed. “Mommy’s going to wake you up in a while for more medicine so you better get to sleep.” I bend down and kiss her little lips. “Night, Brooklyn.”
“Nigh-nigh, mommy. I wove you.”
“I love you too, sweetie,” I say as I stand and start to walk towards Maddox who is standing in the doorway.
“I wove you, Maddox,” she says as she drifts off to sleep. Maddox and I stand there, watching each other for a few moments, not really knowing what to say. We walk back into the living room and he slides up behind me, arms around my waist, pressing his soft lips into my neck.
“What more do you have to do before you can go to bed?”
“Nothing now. I’ll have to get up in four hours to check her temperature again.”
“You’re exhausted. Let’s go lie down.” He grabs me by the hands and starts pulling me towards my room at the end of the short hall. I’m wearing a comfy pair of yoga pants and a well worn concert t-shirt. He slides my pants down, lifting my legs one at a time to have me step out, and removes my t-shirt and bra. He leaves my underwear on which isn’t even a cute pair since I hadn’t had the time to change yet before Maddox arrived. Maddox basically just saw me in my mom panties. He slips off his own jeans, socks, and t-shirt but takes his t-shirt and throws it over my head. I slide into his still warm t-shirt which smells deliciously like him, all masculine soap and deodorant.
He takes me by the hands again and leads me towards my bed. “Come on, let’s go to sleep.” As we slip into bed and snuggle up close, my head resting on his chest, leg thrown over his leg, I can’t help but think about how comfortable this whole evening was. How content I am in this moment. “Good night, babe.”
“Night, Maddox.”
*****
My alarm goes off at one-thirty in the morning so I can take Brooklyn’s temperature again. I disentangle myself from Maddox’s warm, sleeping body, head into the bathroom to grab the thermometer, and go to Brooklyn’s room to take her temp. One hundred two point seven. I head back into the bathroom to grab the Motrin. Once I’m able to rouse her enough from sleep to take the medicine, I head back into my room, resetting the alarm for five-thirty.
“What’s her temp?” Maddox whispers without even opening his eyes.
“One oh’ two point seven. I dosed her and she’s already back asleep.” I snuggle back up against his hardness. He’s so toned and muscular with broad shoulders and strong arms, chiseled face and strong jaw; it’s like snuggling with a Greek God. I could get used to sleeping like this. I’ve never slept with anyone
like this before. I never got to experience this when I was dating Drake. He hated to be touched while he slept.
“Good. Come here, you,” he says as he rolls over, cradling my body underneath his. He bends down and gives me a tender kiss. My body responses to his touch immediately. It doesn’t take long before our kisses turn needy, passionate. His hands roam under his t-shirt that I’m wearing to my bare skin underneath. I run my hands up and down his back, feeling the muscles tighten with my touch. He places his knees between my legs, spreading them apart wider to accommodate his large body. When he presses his body down on top of mine, I feel how ready he is for me, and I moan at the contact. His lips are back on mine hard and with a fury, an urgency. I can tell he’s close to losing control.
His hurried hands remove the shirt I’m wearing and slide down my panties. Then he shucks his own boxer briefs. He reaches for his jeans on the floor and pulls a condom out of his pocket. He starts to rip open the package, but I have other plans. “Let me,” I say, holding out my hand for the condom. His wild eyes lock back on mine as he hands me the little foil package. “Lay down on your back.”
He does as he’s told, and I rip open the package with my teeth. His shaft jerks as he watches my movements, his eyes going from dark brown to black with lust. I reach down and grab a hold of him and slowly, oh so slowly, begin to roll the condom on. “Shit, that feels so much better when you do it,” he says, his voice breathy and barely a whisper.
I resume my position, straddling his waist, and slowly sink down on top of him. He’s so big and hard and stretches me, filling me completely. Our moans are mixed together, and I can’t tell what sounds come from him and what come from me. I lean forward and take his lips in mine, my hair hanging down against his face, his chest. His hands that grip my hips border on the line of pain and pleasure. I know I’m going to have marks tomorrow, but at this moment, I could care less. I devour his lips, raking my teeth over his lower lip, down his chin. I feel him shudder from the contact and it seems to ignite him even further.