by KB Winters
Terry sat in his usual spot in my office, the sofa against the wall that gave him an uninterrupted view of me. All day long.
“He might be a lot of things,” he said, “but Rob is no fool. He knows he fucked up and knows there will be hell to pay when we catch up to him.”
It wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but it was the truth. Whatever was going on between us, I could always count on Terry to give it to me straight.
“Someone has to be helping him, and I’ll bet it’s either the guy he was talking to when we last saw him or whoever tried to run me over.”
“Kill you, you mean,” Terry clarified, his voice dark and intense. “They tried to kill you, Kat.”
I rolled my eyes at his serious words, but my heart rate picked up. “I know that.” I couldn’t escape the fact that, other than the nights I spent in his arms, those few seconds dodging two tons of steel played in my mind all night. On repeat. And when I actually slept, they played in my dreams.
“Nightmares?” His tone was soft and sweet, at odds with the tough guy I knew him to be, and yeah, it melted me like butter.
“Some,” I admitted reluctantly because the last thing I wanted was for Terry to see me as anything less than desirable and capable. “It’s nothing to worry about.”
“There’s nothing wrong with having nightmares, Kat. Especially after a traumatic experience.” His blue eyes bore into mine, making sure I was unable to look away until I understood what he said. I wanted to believe his long looks meant something was changing between us, but he didn’t give me anything to go on. No endearments, no talk of a future, of going public. What choice did I have but to keep my guard up with this man, otherwise my heart could get broken in so many pieces, I might never be able to put it back together again.
I scoffed, despite his tender tone. I couldn’t help myself. “My life has been a clusterfuck, filled with trauma, and I refuse to let some insignificant jackass fuck with my sleep.”
He nodded and stood, his long legs slowly carrying him closer to my desk, He sat on the edge and gave me a gentle, sympathetic smile. “So you are having nightmares. Tell me about them.”
“You first,” I shot back to more snark than I meant to, but he couldn’t just expect me to bare my soul when he refused to do the same. If he cared, he’d open up, right?
“I sleep just fine, Kitty Kat.” He tugged on a strand of my hair like he used to when I was a little girl, before he decided he hated my guts. “I want to know why you’re not sleeping.”
I looked up at him, blond hair gleaming in the sun that spilled in from two walls of windows, light blue eyes intense and hungry as they connected with mine.
“What if I told you that I wasn’t sleeping because you’re not with me?” It was as much of the truth as I was willing to admit to him. For now.
“You know why I can’t.” The only thing that softened the blow of his words was the regret I heard in his voice.
“I know why you say we can’t, but I don’t agree.” Of course I knew that Jasper would always be a problem between us, but that didn’t mean I had to like it. “Jasper is my brother, not my father. Not my keeper. Or yours, last time I checked.”
He sighed and stood, putting a little distance between us. “Kat,” he groaned, slightly annoyed. “You know this is bad.”
I held up my hands and shook my head. “Don’t worry about it, Ter. Jasper is a good excuse. I get it.”
It stung but I refused to show him just how much. Our little exchange proved I was right to keep an emotional distance from him. He was feeding me bullshit. I saw it coming a mile down the road. No way, Mr. Manning, will I let my guard down only for you to crush every good feeling I have. I’ll keep things as they are, friends with benefits. That’s all. Nothing would make me change my mind.
“I have some calls to make.” I picked up my cell phone and stared at Terry until he took the hint and gave me some space. For some reason, I flashed on Vanessa and her love for her late husband. But that train of thought would do me no good. I’ll never have what she and Lance had, certainly not with Terry, since he was using my brother as an excuse to keep me at arm’s length.
My first call was to my investigator since Molly had held firm on her decision not to return to Glitz with me or reach out to her sister. She was determined that Mueller was more powerful than he actually was, and I understood that from her perspective. How would I explain that to Madison, though? Until I figured this out, I needed Rusty to keep an eye on Molly. Make sure she was safe until Mueller was no longer a problem.
Before I could make any more phone calls, my office and cell phone lit up like a switchboard.
“As soon as I know, you’ll have answers,” I assured one of Sadie’s associates who’d lost six figures on the fight. “Yes, that’s straight from Sadie.”
“You should speak with Jasper about that,” I told another who wanted to know why he still hadn’t been paid for his winning bet.
“I called you, sweetheart.”
“The name is Kat, not sweetheart, Dale. And Jasper can give you a concrete answer, whereas I cannot.”
Sometimes I hated dealing with those douchebags, but they made up a good chunk of Ashby money because they were big time gamblers who couldn’t pick a winner if their lives depended on it. But in their minds, they were winners.
“Why don’t you tell me what happened, over dinner?”
I rolled my eyes and had to suppress the urge to vomit. “That sounds great, but you know Jasper would break your legs if he ever found out.”
My gaze lingered on Terry. I could see his ears had pricked up at this conversation. I said, “My big brother still treats me like I’m a little girl, you know?”
Dale’s deep laughter was so loud, he could be heard across the room.
“You’re definitely not a little girl, Katherine. You are all woman and definitely worth the risk.”
My dark brows arched in Terry’s direction, but I looked away because there was no point poking the bear.
“That’s nice of you to say, but this is a big win for you.” And rare. Chances were good we’d get that money back right away, and then some.
“True. Maybe another time,” he said, true regret sounding in his voice.
“Don’t forget to call Jasper,” I reminded him and ended the call with a smile. I didn’t want Dale or any other man but Terry, who apparently didn’t want me enough to deal with the fallout from Jasper.
“You are, you know.” Terry’s deep voice pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked up at him, a question in my eyes.
“Worth the risk.”
“Totally,” I said, my tone mocking his words.
“Kat, it’s true.”
I rolled my eyes at him, shaking my head. I wanted to believe him, but I couldn’t.
“I don’t need you to soothe my ego. We had a ton of fun in Reno but now we’re back in Glitz and our lives are returning to normal.” It wasn’t what I wanted, but when had that ever mattered in my life?
“I’m not trying to soothe anything. I’m just telling you the truth, even if it’s hard for you to hear.”
I laughed. “My ears work fine, Manning. I heard you loud and clear, I just don’t believe what you said.”
Our eyes locked for several long seconds, a war waging between us, with no clear winner when I finally looked away.
It was useless. What I thought might be the start of something, even if it had to be a secret for a little while, had turned out to be just another one-night stand. It was a depressing thought, one I had no desire to wallow in, so I went back to expense and booking reports. Back to the tedious details of everyday life.
And that’s how it went on Tuesday and Wednesday. A silent war between us. Terry was determined to get me to accept that Jasper was a legitimate reason that we couldn’t be together. I refused, just as he refused to acknowledge that I was a grown ass woman who was perfectly capable of making my own decisions about who I had sex with, who I dated, and who I fe
ll for. No matter how stupid it was.
When Thursday rolled around, Terry was feeling playful. “You plan to ignore me forever, Kat?” he said with a tease in his voice. But I wasn’t there.
It was just another sign that he didn’t care as much as I did. And that stung. Men seem to only care when their dick was hard, then they go back to their business of not caring.
“I’m not ignoring you, Terry. I am reverting back to our previous relationship. Just like you wanted.”
He’d insisted on lunch at The Bistro, during which we’d been silent and tense. Hell, it was pure torture and even Leander’s flirting couldn’t bring me out of my funk.
Later, he leaned on the top of the car. “It’s not what I want, Kat.” I yanked the door open and sat in the passenger seat.
“Bullshit.”
Since this conversation was getting us nowhere, I pulled out my phone to return a few emails and put out some corporate fires that should have been moved back to Jasper’s plate and would have been, if we weren’t still hunting down Ravager.
Terry shut the engine off, and I reached for my purse, prepared to head right to the elevator and back to my office, where I could work in tense silence for the rest of the afternoon.
But when I looked up, we weren’t at the Black Stallion. We weren’t even in Glitz, but a cozy little boutique hotel in downtown Mayhem.
“I want you, Kat. I want you more than I realized I wanted you, until I had you.”
“You want to fuck me,” I clarified angrily even as my nipples tightened to peaks and my clit throbbed in anticipation of the next hour. Maybe two.
“That’s not all I want, but it’s a damn good start.”
He’s not being honest with himself. Terry wasn’t a cruel man by nature, so I knew he had to be lying to himself. This relationship could never be more than sneaking around, which meant it could never be more than sex. Really great sex, though.
“It’s all we have, and I guess I’m fine with that.” At least I was trying really hard to be fine with it, and by the time we were locked inside the floral decorated room and tearing each other’s clothes off, I was more than a little fine with it.
On Friday, I booked a reservation at a little inn on the outskirts of Vegas and by the time we returned to my office after lunch, a little flush and a lot satisfied, I knew that just like Terry, I was also lying to myself.
It wasn’t enough.
It never would be when it came to this man.
I wanted all of him, and everything that came with it.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Terry
When Sunday rolled around, I was not prepared, at least not mentally, for Sunday Dinner at Ashby Mansion. Thoughts of Kat invaded my brain and I couldn’t stop thinking about her, not that I had time to erase her from my mind when we’d spent Thursday and Friday getting lost in each other.
But nothing compared to yesterday because I had four full hours to explore her beautiful body, to make her come, and to hear her scream my name. But the best part, and I knew it made me sound like a pussy, was having her in my arms while we watched some stupid comedy on the hotel television.
I was a fucking idiot for letting it continue, but the thought of Kat hating me, of thinking that I didn’t want to be with her when I wanted it—badly—didn’t fucking sit well with me. At all. The whole situation had disaster written all over it, but the problem was, when Kat was around, I didn’t give a damn. I couldn’t think of anything but her and how much I wanted her.
The family settled around the dinner table, including Emmett and Madison. “How’s Kat?” Jasper, sitting next to me, leaned in and whispered the question to avoid drawing attention from the others.
“She’s fine,” I grunted. “You know Kat, resilient as ever.”
“You find anything on the sister, yet?” His question had an edge to it, and I turned to look at my best friend. He was concerned, nothing more, but the fact that I thought it could be more, meant I was fucked. Sooner or later, I knew he’d find out.
I shook my head. “Nothing concrete,” I told him quietly, turning my head away from Madison. She missed nothing. “Just a bunch of loose ends, so far.”
“Sorry I’m late,” Kat said as she breezed into the dining room wearing jeans—again—that hugged her ass and long shapely legs. More distracting than the jeans, was the low cut pink top she wore that showed off more than a hint of cleavage. “Had some things to take care of.”
Sadie let out a huff of laughter. “That should be your theme song these days, sorry I’m late. We’ve been waiting.”
Said without anger or frustration, just a hint of amusement.
Kat froze, halfway to sitting and looked around the table with a frown. “’Scuse me. I don’t see Bonnie, either, so it’s not just me holding up dinner.”
The decanter of whiskey was in her hand before her cute little ass hit the seat, pouring three oversized glugs straight into a wine glass.
“Bonnie isn’t feeling well,” Cal said defensively.
“Yeah, what else is new,” Kat mumbled loud enough for the whole table to hear. “Fine, I’m sorry. I have so much fucking work that I don’t even get a day to myself.”
The wine glass looked close to snapping at the stem with her white-knuckled grip and I wondered what had Kat so on edge.
“What’s up with her?” Jasper’s whispered question echoed in the room as the dining room door opened and the platters of food delivered to the table.
Before I could say a word, Kat jumped in. “Why don’t you fucking ask me what’s wrong, Jas, if you actually give a damn?” She held up a hand. “Never mind, I don’t care if you do. Or not.”
The room fell silent for a quick moment, but Sadie didn’t let tension linger at the dinner table, especially on Sundays.
“I spoke to Ronan this week, several times in fact, and I’m confident he had nothing to do with the attempt on Kat’s life.”
Madison gasped and looked at the woman she thought of as a hero.
“Are you all right?” She put a worried hand on Kat’s forearm and it was the first smile she flashed since she arrived.
“I’m fine. It happened a long time ago.”
“A week isn’t that long ago, Kat.” Virgil glared at his sister, worry and anger still swimming in his eyes. “If not Ronan, who?”
“Ten days,” Kat clarified, “give or take. And my money is on Mueller. He’s got a better, more pressing reason to come after me than Ronan.”
“Because of me and Molly?” For all her toughness and street smarts, Madison was shit at hiding her emotions. She wore her guilt all over her face.
“No, Maddie, it’s because he’s a piece of shit. Got it?”
Madison nodded but from the scowl on her face, she didn’t buy it.
Smart girl.
“I’ll take care of it,” Sadie declared with the air of a queen.
Jasper shook his head and sent a worried glare my way because we both knew what that meant.
“No Ma, I’ll handle it. Don’t get involved. Please.”
Sadie lifted a shoulder in acknowledgement of his words, but I didn’t miss the fact that she hadn’t actually agreed not to get involved.
“Let’s eat,” she said instead and picked up two slices of roast, gracing the table with an easy, maternal smile.
“What’s up with you man, you seem distracted?” Jasper was focused today, which meant he noticed every fucking detail, including the fact that I couldn’t focus. Not on anything but Kat, anyway.
“Nothing, man. Just…everything. Ravager. Emmett. Mueller. The Rhymers. Take your pick.”
“No fucking shit,” he growled and shook his head. “And we still have no line on who killed Lance. We’ll figure it out, though,” he said confidently.
“Of course, we will,” I agreed. One thing I knew for a fact was that we’d get to the bottom of everything. Eventually. We always did.
We were a damn good team, and the only way that would continue w
as for Jasper to never find out I was banging his sister. His kid sister. “We always do.”
Sadie placed her fork loudly on her plate and cleared her throat. All eyes swiveled to the head of the table as she announced, “Where is Savannah Rhymer? No one has seen hide nor hair of her. I find it worrisome.”
She was more than worried if she voiced her concerns out loud because that wasn’t Sadie’s style.
“I have an investigator,” Kat offered. “He’s damn good.”
Sadie looked interested, but Jasper shut it down. “I said I have it handled,” he growled.
“Obviously not or we’d know where she’s at. It’s time to use your digital skills to see if there’s been any trace of her, Cal. If she hasn’t found her way back to Ronan yet, she’s still out there on her own.”
Cal nodded and continued to chew his dinner. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Perfect. Let me know the moment you—”
Bonnie stepped into the room with a scowl on her face, “Calvin, I need you,” she said without bothering to offer a greeting for anyone at the table.
“Oh, look who decided to show up for dinner,” Kat said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “It’s Bonnie the bitch.” Her smile was more of a sneer, and I wondered what the hell that was about.
Bonnie glared, but wisely, she stayed silent.
“Calvin,” Sadie continued. “One of my contacts managed to dig up an ali—”
“Calvin,” Bonnie whined. “I need you. Please.”
Sadie glared at the rude woman, but, strangely, said nothing to her. But to Cal she said, “Oh, for fuck’s sake. Go!” shooing him away, her anger evident in the red crawling up her neck, the way her jaws clenched.
Jasper smacked the table and stood, staring at his brother and then Bonnie. “You don’t come to dinner,” he growled, “then you don’t fucking interrupt dinner. You need a doctor, call one. This is your only warning.” To Calvin he said, “Go,” a little gentler, who then stood and hurried after his woman.