by KB Winters
Asshole.
Sitting in my office, well Jasper’s office, I picked up my cell and tried to call Terry for what was the tenth time in the past two days. Once again, I got no answer.
“What the fuck is going on?” I demanded of the phone as if it could answer. Then I smiled at the photo of Terry’s sleeping form that I managed to snap when he was asleep the other night. That was the last time I’d seen him, and now I feared those three little words had ruined everything.
Everything.
There was one way to find out, so I dialed the number of the one person who could give me a definitive answer on Terry’s whereabouts.
“What is it, Kat?”
The annoyance in his voice pissed me off immediately. “What’s your problem, Jas? I just called to see where my babysitter was.”
Jasper let out one of his exasperated older brother sighs, which provoked an eyeroll that unfortunately, he couldn’t see.
“Terry is no longer employed by the Ashby Organization.” His words were stern and short, slightly bitter.
“Oh. Okay.” The news was too shocking for me to process in the moment, so that was the best I could manage. It wasn’t eloquent or sophisticated, but it was all had.
“Thanks for letting me know.”
Jasper snorted and let out a low growl to indicate he was pissed off. “What the fuck did you think would happen when I found out about you two, Kat?”
There it is, I thought with a stab of pain in my heart.
“And? Who I sleep with is none of your fucking business, Jasper. Maybe you ought to get laid so you can stop trying to run everyone else’s life! You might be in charge of the business, but you are sure as shit not in charge of me.”
Instead of waiting for whatever condescending shit he had to say, I ended the call and when Jasper called back, I muted the call.
There was nothing to say to Jasper, or Terry apparently, who decided to ghost me. At least now I knew why. Fuck him! And fuck this whole damn place!
I packed up my shit and decided to call it an early day. A small part of me wanted to go to Terry and demand answers, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to hear the truth. Not yet. So I did what any girl in my position would do, I went to talk to my mother.
I found Ma reclining on one of the lounge chairs on the back terrace “Kat, what are you doing here in the middle of the day?” she asked with a surprised smile. Just enough sun flooded the back of the house to feel good without getting the brunt of the desert heat.
I tossed my bag on the table beside Sadie’s bottle of whiskey and sat with a groan. “I came here to talk to you.”
Her brows rose, but that was all I could see of her expression with her sunglasses shielding her eyes. “Things must be bad if you’ve come to me for advice.”
I snorted and reached for the whiskey bottle, taking one big gulp for strength. “Somehow Jasper found out about Terry and me.” I was curious as hell to know how he found out. “I know Terry didn’t tell him. He wouldn’t because he was too afraid of what would happen.”
Sadie took a drag off her cigarette and blew the smoke out. “And Jasper is pissed off. How did you think he would react?” Her calm question put me on edge. I grabbed her gold cigarette case and pulled out a cigarette.
“Smoking will kill you, Kat.”
I took a long draw and glared at Sadie. “I don’t fucking care. My sex life is none of Jasper’s business. He doesn’t own Terry, and he doesn’t own me.” I knew he’d be pissed, of course I knew that, but this was ridiculous. “I guess you approve of the fact that Terry is no longer employed by the Ashby Organization,” I told her, mocking Jasper’s superior tone.
Sadie pushed the sunglasses onto her head, green eyes wide with shock. “I didn’t know, and I don’t approve.”
I didn’t think she would. Terry was family. He’d spent more time in this house than in his own over the years. He stood side by side with Jasper during every battle, put his own safety on the line to protect us, and he’d done it all because he loved us. He was one of us.
“Well that’s what happened when you anointed him king.”
“He’s the oldest, Kat.”
“He is in charge of the business, Ma. Not me or my life. Sometimes I’m not sure either of you realize there’s a difference.”
“As far as I’m concerned, there is no difference,” Jasper chimed in from the door.
I whirled around and frowned at him. “It’s a good thing I don’t give a flying fuck what you think, Jas.”
“That’s too bad. And don’t be pissed off at me. Terry should have known better. And so should you.”
“Fuck you, Jasper. What’s the real problem here? You want Terry for yourself? Because at least that would make sense for why you think you can control who we spend time with.”
I was so angry that I felt my hands vibrating, and I knew there was a good chance I might say something that would be difficult to walk back.
“He’s my friend, and you’re off limits.”
“Since you have so much time to meddle in business that’s not yours, you can get back to work at the casino because I’m done.”
The words flew out of my mouth before I even thought about them, but the moment they were out, I felt a sense of relief.
“No, you’re not.”
“Wanna bet?” I shrugged and stamped out the cigarette. “Since you don’t know the difference between business and personal, we should just take a break from each other for a while.”
“You can’t be serious.” His incredulity was even more insulting than the fact he thought he could dictate my love life.
“I’m done with the casino, and I’m sure as fuck done with you.”
I loved my brother and put up with a lot of overprotective behavior, but this was too far. It was too much.
“I’m your brother.”
“But you apparently think that makes you king. No one runs my life but me, so fuck you and stay out of my life. See you later, Ma.”
“Come back here Kat! We’re not done with this conversation.”
I smiled with every step I took away from Jasper, refusing to respond to his words. Or his demands.
It was time to seek out Terry.
I was ready.
I used the drive over to Terry’s place to gather my thoughts and prepare what I wanted to say, but by the time my fists rapped on the door, all thoughts had fled.
“Hey,” I said when he opened the door.
Terry looked…awful. His hair was all disheveled but not in the usual sexy way, this was more of a dirty hobo look. There were red stains on his white t-shirt, probably pizza and he had a beer in his hand.
“What are you doing here?”
“I haven’t heard from you in a few days, so I came to check on you. Plus, my asshole brother said you stopped working for AO.”
He hadn’t made it clear whether Terry had quit or gotten fired, and I didn’t want to say the wrong thing, especially since it looked like he wasn’t going to let me inside. “What happened?”
“What do you think happened, Katherine?” His words were sharp like daggers, every syllable slicing open my skin.
“If I knew that, I wouldn’t be asking, Terry.” Just because I loved him and wanted this to work, didn’t mean I would take his shit, or let him take his anger out on me.
“Is this about being let go? If so I’m happy to find a place for you.”
“So I can be at the Ashbys whim again?” He took a long swallow of his beer and said with a pop, “No thanks.”
The disdain, the anger in his voice made me wonder if he had some other underlying issue I wasn’t privy to. I winced again at his words, feeling them filet my heart wide open. “You’re not blaming me for this, are you?”
His blue gaze narrowed as he stood taller, still not inviting me in. His face reddened in anger.
“Of course, I am,” he snorted at me. “I’ve tried to keep my distance from you for years. Fucking years, Kat. And it was e
asy when you were strutting around all high and mighty. The bitch. Acting like you were better than everyone else.” His words were filled with anger, maybe even hate.
“I wasn’t,” I insisted, cutting off his diatribe before tears filled my eyes. “I always thought you hated me; guess I wasn’t far off.” I blinked and looked away, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing that he hurt me. More. Of hurting me more.
“I know that’s not who you are, Kat! You were nothing at all like you presented yourself to the world, which only made everything worse. Every fucking thing. How could I resist that smart mouth and those sexy designer clothes you prance around every damn day? You eat like a frat boy, cuss like a sailor and you do it all with the grace of goddamn princess. I didn’t stand a fucking chance.”
I swear, I swooned a little at his sweet words, his compliments, even though I was apparently the only person who was happy about it. But the more I thought about it, I wasn’t happy about this either.
“Yeah well, right back at you, Terry! You think I wanted this? Knowing that heartbreak was certain? Knowing that you would never in a million years choose me? Well I didn’t, but I couldn’t resist you. Not your smile, your laugh, your attention. Your body.” I shook my head and looked away again, threatening every tear gathering behind my eyes with certain death if they fell before I made it back to my car.
“So? Where does that leave us, Terry?”
“Where does it leave us?” His voice was thick with sarcasm. I took a step back at the anger that darkened his blue eyes.
“Just…fuck. Go back to your fucking life, Kat.”
Go back to your fucking life. It was the same as if he’d said, you’re not welcome—or wanted—here.
“So that’s it? Jasper throws a goddamn hissy fit and now that we can actually go public and be together, you tell me to go away?”
I stared at him, looking for any sign, any hint that this wasn’t what he wanted, but I could see the signs of resolve in his squared shoulders, his stick straight spine and the white line of his lips.
“Oh. Okay. Right. I get it now, you’re a fucking coward.”
He said nothing. There was no indication my words had even registered because Terry was done. With me, anyway.
“I love you, Terry, I meant those words when I said them, and I mean them now. I was hoping this was, finally, the start of something good and real for us. I guess I was wrong. Again.”
“You were.”
Ouch. “Yeah, well, fuck you and have a miserable life!”
I walked away with my head held high, my steps slow and deliberate because I refused to run away like a heartbroken little girl. I took my time walking back to the car, and since I didn’t have any place to be, I headed to Mayhem and booked a suite for the next week.
That was where I’d drown my sorrows in expensive alcohol and room service, and then I would put all thoughts of Terry Manning away and get on with the rest of my life.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Terry
“I’m an asshole.”
That was my mantra over the past three days, ever since my idiotic blow up with Kat. “Such a fucking asshole.” And according to her, a coward as well.
Kat was right. We both knew it, me in particular, which is why I’d spent the last three days drinking away my sorrows with the curtains drawn and rock music blocking out all thoughts of anything.
Or anyone.
No visitors, no phone calls. No people whatsoever.
The only person I couldn’t seem to shake was Kat and the look of hurt and betrayal in her eyes, watery with tears she was too damn strong to let fall in front of me. It only made me love her more.
“Not that it fucking matters. God, I really am an asshole.”
“You are but we love you anyway.”
The deep voice scared the shit out of me, and I grabbed my piece and aimed it in the direction of the intruder.
“Goddammit, Emmett, I could have shot you.”
Emmett laughed and shook his head. “You’d have to figure which one of me is the right one first. And I’ve been here for five fucking minutes so if I wanted to kill ya, you’d be dead already.”
I lowered the gun with a sigh. “Five minutes, really?”
“Yep. You’re too drunk to be aware of your surroundings, a dangerous habit in your line of work. Wanna tell me why you’re drunk in the middle of the week?”
“No reason. Just taking a sabbatical to figure out…some shit.”
Emmett took in my surroundings. The discarded delivery bags and boxes, the empty bottles and half unpacked grocery bags. He shrugged and took a seat in the chair beside the window, far enough away that I couldn’t just slug him and make him leave.
“Doesn’t look like nothing. Looks like something, a really big something if I had to guess. Plus, you stink.”
He fanned a hand in front of his face just in case I didn’t get the picture.
“Feel free to leave at any time, Em.”
“And miss out on some world class moping from my older brother? Not a fucking chance.” He sighed and looked out the window, trying to wait me out.
“It’s not gonna happen.”
“What?”
I groaned. “You sitting there in silence isn’t gonna get me to talk. Don’t you have fighters to train or something?”
“I do, and I will, but now I’m here. For you.”
That was all he said for a long time, his silence doing fuck all but making me think. About Kat. “I was surprised when I called Jasper to find out why you weren’t answering my calls, and he said you didn’t work for the Ashbys anymore.”
“I don’t.” And I hadn’t heard one fucking word from my alleged best friend since I left.
“Why?”
“You don’t have to do this, Em.”
“Duh. You’re my brother, and I love your dumb ass, so let’s just skip to the part where you tell me what happened?”
It wasn’t like I had anyone else to confide in. I lost everything I thought I wanted, everything I thought was un-fucking-touchable. No Kat. No Jasper. No Ashby family. No Ashby Organization. Nothing.
“Fine,” I moaned and told him the whole sordid story about kissing Kat and then fucking her, and all about falling for her.
“He found out and he wasn’t happy about it. Said he couldn’t trust me.”
“And you walked away?”
I nodded and Emmett whistled. “I’m surprised, even a little bit impressed.”
“Yeah well, don’t be,” I snorted. “When Kat found out she came to me and told me, again, that she loved me. Me, Em. She said she was in love with me, a gutter rat from the wrong side of the tracks.”
“Hey, that’s my brother you’re talking about.” He flashed a sympathetic grin and motioned for me to continue.
“I threw it back in her face. Told her to go back to her life because there was no us, no future for us.” Shook my head as those images played in my mind again. “She refused to cry, but I saw the tears. I made her fucking cry, man.”
“Of course you did, Terry. Kat has been in love with you for as long as I’ve known her, and yeah, some of that was just a crush or puppy love back in the day, but it’s been obvious from the start.”
It has? “Not to me.” And it didn’t matter anyway. “There you have it, the whole damn story. Now you can go away, please and thanks.”
I tried for a smile, but it felt wrong, strange to my facial muscles.
Emmett nodded, taking in all the details of everything I just told him because he was thoughtful like that. He was a guy who took his time to make decisions, to offer up advice. And he took his sweet goddamn time as I reached for the bottle of Jack on the table.
“I get why you walked away from Jasper and all, but I don’t get why you’d give up Kat right now when the path is clear for you guys to be together.”
I shook my head and waved my empty hand dismissively, taking another slow sip. “I screwed that up too, by throwing her l
ove back in her face. Didn’t I say that part already?”
“You did, but it still doesn’t make a damn lick of sense. She loves you, and you love her, which all sounds like a good thing to me. You don’t have to work for her family to be with her. Would probably make things easier if you didn’t.”
“It’s all too fucked up now. It’s over for me. I’m done with the Ashby family. All of them.”
“Bullshit,” he snorted. “My advice is that you figure you which Ashby you want more, and then go make it right with Kat.” A smile flickered at the edges of his mouth, the smart ass.
“Yeah, maybe I should, but for now, I’m just gonna drink. I’m gonna get drunk as fuck and not give a fuck about anyone. Not even Kat.”
I planned to drink until I could get the image of Kat’s blue eyes, slick with tears, out of my mind. Or until my heart stopped aching. Whichever came first.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Kat
My phone pinged, but I had no interest in talking to anyone who wasn’t Terry.
Except for my best friend.
“Hey Maze, what’s up?” My voice sounded as tired as my body felt, as tired and as heavy as my heart.
“You okay, Kat?” Though I couldn’t see her face, her concern came through loud and clear. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”
I hated the worry in her voice, and I refused to share the tale of my heartbreak with Maisie while she was planning her wedding.
“I’m fine, just tired I guess.” I was distracted and hurt and goddammit, I was angry. Angry at Jasper for butting into my personal business and angry at Terry for breaking my heart.
“What’s up?” I said, attempting to put some sunshine into my question.
“Oh, right. Well I managed to get an appointment at Wicked Wedding Apparel in Mayhem because someone else’s wedding was postponed. Indefinitely. Makes ya wonder, huh?”
I laughed at the wince I heard come down the line.
“It happens, Maisie, and it’s no reflection on your own vows. Besides, I happen to know Virgil would just take you to the courthouse before he let you go. The man is going to fit his big ass body into a tux. Just for you.”