by Hazel Kelly
A smile spread across his face.
“I’m upset because you seem so hell bent on keeping me from having a normal work/life balance.”
His thick eyebrows drew closer together. “What are you talking about?”
“I realize I made a mistake by pursuing a relationship with you outside of work, but I’m genuinely trying to make amends and get my act together now.”
“I understand that.”
“So why won’t you stop pestering me?”
“Pestering you?”
“Yeah.” I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “And sending me mixed signals.”
“Mixed signals?”
“I don’t know what planet you live on, Will, but if a girl tells you to leave her alone, you don’t go visit her mother bearing gifts.”
“I don’t want to leave you alone.”
I sighed. “That’s what I thought.”
“But you don’t want to be with me either, and you have to choose because it’s not fair to me.”
He raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth to speak.
“Actually that came out wrong,” I said. “Sorry. What I meant was that you already did choose, and I’m trying to deal with that choice.”
He closed his mouth again.
“And I’ve accepted the fact that we don’t want the same things, but you need to let me do what I want because I am doing my best to let you pursue what you want.”
He tilted his head. “Which is..?”
“Somebody else,” I said, though it pained me to say it. “Somebody who doesn’t mind your bullshit conditions and the fact that you-”
He shook his head. “Ella.”
“What?” I stopped to catch my breath.
“That’s not what I want.” He stood up.
“What do you mean that’s not what you want? You’ve tried to say it in a thousand different ways-”
He walked up to me.
“And I’ve finally heard you loud and clea-”
He placed a finger on my moving lips. “I don’t want somebody else.”
I looked into his eyes, but couldn’t move.
“I don’t even want my bullshit conditions.” He removed his finger from my lips.
“Of course you do.”
“No.” He looked at my lips. “I just want you.”
“No you don’t.” I shook my head. “You just think you do because you’re a control freak, and I don’t want you anymore,” I said, lowering my voice so it wouldn’t be obvious that it was shaking.
“That’s not true.”
“I get it, Will. You’re great at these seductive games.”
“This isn’t a game to me.”
“I don’t believe you.” I took a step back to put some much needed space between us. His intense energy was making it hard for me to believe the words I was saying. “I came in here to ask you not to send me mixed signals anymore, and it’s like you haven’t heard a word I said.”
“That’s not true. I’ve listened to every word that you’ve said and you’re right.”
“About what?”
“About the mixed signals. About my bullshit conditions. About me being in denial of my feelings. About everything.”
“You just can’t handle being rejected, can you? I believed you would say anything, but I never thought you would lie to my face like this. I actually can’t-”
“I’m not lying,” he said.
I rolled my eyes.
“But I was lying before when I said I didn’t care about you.”
“This is pathetic. Don’t do this. Do us both a favor and stop yourself right there.” I put my hands around the back of my neck. It was so hard to know what to do with them when he was so close to me. I had to fight every instinct I had to keep them to myself.
“It’s not pathetic. What’s pathetic is the fact that I took you for granted before.”
I wanted to believe him so badly. I wanted to melt into his strong arms and let him prove to me that he believed what he was saying in every way his mouth could think of. But that was exactly what he wanted. He had fooled me too many times and each time it took so long for me to feel better. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake again.
“That’s really nice to hear, but I’m through letting you hurt me. It’s too little too late, and I’m done with this.”
Chapter 8: Will
She turned for the door.
“Wait,” I said. “There’s something I want to say, too.”
“What?”
“Actually it’s more of a question. I want to ask you something.”
She pursed her lips.
“But before you answer, I want you to know I’ve heard and understood everything you’ve said and-”
“Spit it out,” she said.
“Will you be my Valentine?”
Her quizzical smile lifted her expression and I felt relieved… until she started laughing.
“Well?”
She was laughing so hard a tear came to her eye and she wiped it away with her finger.
I waited for her to settle back down.
She sighed. “Oh, thank you for that. I was feeling really tense there for a moment.”
“Ella.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m not joking right now. I want you to be my Valentine.”
Her expression shifted like she recognized some of the sounds I was making but couldn’t tell what language I was speaking.
“That is… if you don’t already have one.”
“Come on, Will. Why on Earth would I want to be your Valentine?”
“What does that have to do with anything?” I asked. “I want you to be my Valentine so I’m asking.”
“Why?” she asked. “Cause you want to have a romantic evening followed by sex?”
“Uhhh.”
“Sorry.” She shook her head. “That was a stupid question.”
“It’s a simple question,” I said.
“With a simple answer. No.”
“Is there somebody else?”
She took a deep breath and her shoulders dropped. “No, Will. There’s nobody else. I don’t want there to be, though. I’m trying to get over someone. Remember?”
“I don’t want you to get over me.”
“But that’s what I want, and if you care about me at all, you’ll respect that.”
“Let’s make a deal.”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh here we go.”
“You’ll like it. I swear.”
She folded her arms. “I’m listening.”
“I just want one more chance.”
“One more chance to what?”
“To convince you that I’ve changed, that I’m ready to stop jerking you around.”
She looked down at the floor. “I don’t know.”
“Have dinner with me on Saturday. If you don’t want to spend time with me after that, I’ll leave you alone.”
“You promise?”
I took a deep breath. “I promise. And if you decide you like what I have to say, we’ll start seeing each other on terms that work for both of us.”
She looked visibly confused. “So if I accept your invitation but end up telling you not to pursue me anymore, you’ll be okay with that?”
“Yes, but only if you give me one more chance.”
She squinted at me.
“Otherwise I will continue to make your life hell.”
She laughed.
I was relieved she got the joke. “Come on. You owe me a shot to fix things between us.”
“I don’t owe you anything.”
“But you agree that what we’re doing right now isn’t working for either of us.”
“Yes.”
“So have dinner with me on Valentine’s Day,” I said. “Regardless of what happens, it will be a fresh start.”
“I need to think about it.”
“No you don’t. Just say yes.”
“No,” she said. “I do.”
> I had half a mind to spoil the surprise and tell her how much goddamn trouble I’d gone to for her.
“Is that okay?”
I shrugged. “It’s not what I was hoping you would say, bu-”
“Please.” Her eyes were wide. “I need to process this.”
“Process away. Just be at my place on Saturday at seven o’clock.”
“I’m not promising anything.” She scratched the back of her head. “And I would rather meet you at the restaurant if that’s okay.”
“It’s not really. That would sort of spoil the surprise.”
I saw a twinkle in her eye. “What surprise?”
“Oh no you don’t.”
She put her hands on her hips. “I hope you haven’t gone to any trouble. That would be totally inappropriate.”
I pretended to lock my lips with a key.
“I haven’t even agreed to join you.”
I lifted my palms to the ceiling. “I can’t say anymore.”
“I’ll think about it.” She walked towards the door and turned to face me after she pulled it open. For a brief second, she parted her lips like she was going to say something, but then she changed her mind and left.
Part of me thought it was cruel that she would leave me hanging like that, wondering whether I had a date for Valentine’s Day or whether I was about to have the loneliest romantic meal in history, but I knew it was my fault. She didn’t want to get hurt and she thought that was all I was out to do.
Fortunately, I had everything under control. Patrick had given me very strict instructions about how to do the cooking, and both the starter and dessert could be prepped a day in advance. Plus, I’d already heard from the florist, and not only did they confirm my order, but they said they would throw in a basket of free rose petals.
At first I laughed because I didn’t know what they were talking about. I assumed the roses came with petals, but when they said the extras were for sprinkling on beds and stairs and things, I realized what they were suggesting. And while I didn’t want to be too presumptuous, a romantic dinner followed by epic sex was exactly what I had in mind.
A moment after I took a seat back at my desk, the phone rang. When I looked down I could see it was coming from Emily’s extension.
“Hi.”
“Will, a personal call has come in for you.”
“Who is it?”
“Kendra Phillips. Says you’re old friends. Will I put her through?”
I groaned. “Yeah, okay.” I waited for the beep. “Hello?”
“Will!”
“Kendra.” How did you get this number? “What a surprise.”
“A good one I hope,” she squealed. “But I’ll make it quick cause I know how busy-busy you are.”
“What can I do for you?”
“I’m calling because I’m throwing a party for my sister this weekend, and I was wondering if you might want to come. There will be lots of booze and drunk women, and I figured I would be a lousy host if I didn’t invite the sexiest man in New York.”
“I’m flattered.”
“We’ve rented out the VIP lounge in Club Chic- you know the one below the Worrington Hotel- and-”
“I’ll stop you there, Kendra. Unfortunately, I already have plans.”
The gasp of disappointment she let out was comical. “Of course you do. Silly me. It was worth a try.”
“I appreciate you thinking of me though.”
“What a shame,” she said. “This is my last weekend in town, and I was really hoping we could get together.”
“I’m sorry things didn’t work out.”
“Well if your plans change, you’ve got my number.”
“I do.”
“Even if you can only stop by,” she said. “It would be great to see you.”
“I hope you have a fun night, anyway. All the best.”
I hung up the phone and stared at it.
Frank was right. The attention of all the women in the world was nothing compared to earning the affection of the only woman I really cared about. And now that I’d realized what a waffling idiot I’d been for weeks, I couldn’t wait to make it up to her.
One rose, one bite, one kiss at a time.
Chapter 9: Ella
I couldn’t stop thinking about Will’s proposition. I knew if I spent Valentine’s evening with him, I probably wouldn’t be able to resist him when he turned on the charm.
After all, I hated resisting him. I wanted to give into him and let him dominate me like he was so good at. How could I not want that? He was ridiculously sexy. If he lit some candles and set his mind to getting me naked, I didn’t stand a chance.
Accepting his invitation would be easy, and sleeping with him would be even easier. It was the morning after that I was afraid of. It was the harsh light of day rushing in to highlight the fact that I didn’t respect myself enough to stop sleeping with my boss when all it did was make me feel like shit afterwards.
I mean, I never had a drug problem, but I had to imagine that the highs and lows of addiction felt very much like giving in to Will Abbott. First there was the exultant high of being made to feel like the most interesting, exquisite creature on Earth, but that was soon followed by the low of returning to reality.
It was like living a fairy tale and waking up to find out that it was all a dream- or worse- that the prince was just out for a good time which meant I wasn’t really a princess at all.
And he sucked at taking a hint. I mean, even if I went, had fun, and kept my wits about me long enough to tell him we were through, I had no guarantee that he would keep his word about leaving me alone. It’s not like I’d ever seen any proof that he knew when to back off.
And as much as it hurt to admit it, I did think he was only asking me to be his Valentine because of his twisted control issues. He couldn’t accept that I wanted to move on, that I didn’t want to sleep with him anymore. The whole “one more chance” thing was just an attempt to prove to himself that I wasn’t out of reach at all, that I was still his if he wanted me. If.
Of course, the real reason I had to think about it was because I still cared about him. I still hoped that my affection for him wasn’t unrequited. Unfortunately, based on our shared history, the likelihood was that once he got what he wanted, he would go right back to claiming we were just having fun while my heart continued to break.
At least I didn’t have to decide on my own this time. Jackie was flying in tonight so she could help me figure out whether I should accept his invitation for tomorrow.
When the clock struck five, I didn’t stick around long enough for Will to ask me if I’d come to a decision. I knew it was rude to keep him guessing, but so was letting him take me from behind in his office during work hours, and I’d done that without a second thought.
I closed up my work station and locked my drawers before heading to the elevator. I had just enough time and gas in my Mom’s tank to get to the airport and meet Jackie even if the traffic wasn’t great. Though my luck wasn’t looking too good when the elevator doors opened and Ben and the ex Mrs. Abbott were standing inside.
“Hello,” I said to no one in particular as I stood along the opposite wall.
“Floor?” Ben asked, his fingers poised over the buttons.
“I’m going to the parking garage,” I said, noticing the button was already lit.
“Ella, this is my Mom, Laura,” Ben said. “I don’t know if you’ve met.”
“Not formally,” I said, sticking my hand out automatically. She was slightly less intimidating with her severe blond hair pulled back.
“Ella, is it?” she asked, squeezing my hand a little harder than necessary.
“Nice to meet you,” I said, thinking things couldn’t possibly get any more awkward.
She made a little hmmf noise like she got that a lot and couldn’t be bothered to say it in return. That- or more likely- she already knew exactly who I was.
“Do you have any exciting plans for the week
end?” I asked Ben.
He shrugged. “Not particularly. A friend of mine is coming in from the UK so that should be fun.”
“Oh I have a friend coming to town, too- well moving here actually. And not from the UK, of course, but-” I needed to stop rambling. “Is that where you’re headed now? To the airport?”
Ben shook his head. “No. Right now we’re going to see my Grandpa.”
I felt my forehead crinkle. “Your Grandpa?”
He shrugged. “Not exactly a wild Friday night I know, but-”
“I thought your Grandpa just passed away?”
The elevator doors opened.
“I’ll get the car,” Laura said, taking off across the dark cement floor.
Ben lingered behind to answer me. “That was my Grandpa on my Mom’s side.”
“So your Dad’s- Will’s Dad- is-”
“At Mercyhurst in Jersey.”
My mind was spinning.
“Are you okay?” Ben asked, touching my elbow.
“I’m fine. I must’ve gotten confused. I thought Will’s Dad- anyway, it doesn’t matter.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“It’s nice that you’re going to see him anyway.”
“Too bad he doesn’t think so.” He looked around and his eyes stopped scanning when he saw a black car pulling out of a spot a few rows over.
“Excuse me?”
“Forgive me. That’s not fair. I’m sure he thinks it’s great on some level.”
“I’m sorry, Ben.”
“Don’t be. It is what it is. Plus, I’m the one that should be sorry for getting you all depressed when you’re supposed to be excited to see your friend.”
“Not at all.”
Laura hit the brakes in front of us, and Ben ran a hand down my arm. “Have a good weekend, Ella.”
“You too,” I said, watching him walk around to the passenger side.
I stood frozen where I was while I watched them drive away. I didn’t know what to think. On the one hand, I was sad to hear that Will’s father was in a nursing home. On the other hand, I thought he was dead. After all, that’s what Will told me the night we went to Saltera’s.
I replayed the scene in my mind’s eye…