by Helen L Lowe
‘Childhood is always a good place to start.’
‘It was pretty boring - not worth talking about.’
‘I find that hard to believe - what about education.’
Julian hesitated. ‘I went to Pendlebury in Cambridge.’
‘Expensive. What age did you start there?’
‘Six.’
‘Shit - I’m surprised they took you at that age.’
‘It wasn’t unusual - there were others the same age.’ Only one that Julian could remember and he went home every weekend.
‘Why did they send you there so young? Were they away a lot or too busy to look after you?’
‘It was 1939 - my father was in the army and my mother was involved in national security. They wanted me out of London before the bombs dropped.’
‘Yeah, it was a tough time for the kids.’ Erikson said, finishing his drink.
Julian emptied his glass and picked up the bottle. ‘D’you mind?’
‘Help yourself.' Erikson held his own glass out for a top up. ‘You know, those old boarding schools have got a hell of a reputation for turning out young men with sexuality issues. I blame them for all these wishy-washy bisexuals that have the nerve to claim they’re gay when they fancy a bit of bottom, and then screw every pretty girl that crosses their path.’ He picked up his replenished glass. ‘And what about you, Julian, do you know what side your bread is buttered on or is it buttered on both sides?’
‘I think it’s time I left,’ Julian said, getting to his feet.
‘No, please don’t.’ He stood up and caught hold of Julian’s arm. ‘I’m sorry for having a dig. We’ll change the subject.’
Julian made a point of looking down at Erikson’s hand still gripped onto his arm until Erikson got the message and removed it.
‘Would you like some coffee?’ Erikson said.
Julian thought of the surveillance team in the flat next door listening to their conversation. All they’d heard so far was Erikson having fun at his expense. ‘Yes - coffee would be good, thank you.’
When Erikson came back, Julian had psyched himself up with the intention of getting some information that could be useful. He drank some coffee before starting.
‘So tell me something about you.’
‘Such as?’
‘Boyfriends - how many boyfriends do you get through in a year?’
He smiled, his dark eyes twinkling in the fire light. ‘You have the wrong idea about me. I prefer to be in a steady relationship rather than one night stands.’
‘Was that barman at the Coleherne one of your steady boyfriends?’
He raised an eyebrow. ‘Yes, for six months or so.’
‘Why did you break-up?’
‘We didn’t actually break-up as such. We had some rows, fights - you know the kind of thing. He didn’t say he was going, he just disappeared. The police think he may have been a victim of the Thames Butcher.’
‘Is that what you think?’
‘No, the trouble with Dave was he liked it rough and when things got really interesting, he changed his mind. He’ll have done a runner - gone back to Scotland where he came from.’
There was a brief silence.
‘You said you owned a gym - it must be doing well to pay for the new Bentley and this pad.’
John smiled. ‘It’s going well but I have my fingers in other pies.’ He looked at Julian seriously and shook his head. ‘I’ll save it for another time.’
‘Can’t you give me a clue?’
He laughed. ‘You’re very inquisitive - perhaps a bit too much for your own good.’ He paused for a moment. ‘I’ll tell you this much - it’s to do with film making, nothing big that you’d see at your local cinema but big enough to bring in a healthy income.’ He put his empty coffee mug down on the coffee table and moved closer to Julian. ‘I know I said we would only talk tonight but don’t you think it would be a shame not to take advantage of our surroundings?’ He slid his arm along the back of the sofa, behind Julian’s shoulders. ‘A kiss wouldn’t go amiss right now.’
Julian stood up quickly and moved away from the sofa. ‘It’s late - I have to be up early.’
‘I thought you were between jobs at the moment,’ Erikson said, as he got to his feet.
‘I am - but I’ve got a doctor’s appointment first thing.’
Erikson laughed. ‘You must have an unusual doctor to be working on Easter Monday.’
Julian went into the hall to collect his coat and Erikson followed him.
‘You know, you’re being ridiculous - it’s just a kiss - and it’s no good pretending you’re not interested - that you’re shocked at my suggestion. What the fuck are you here for? Did you think we were going to play monopoly?’ During this speech, his attitude had changed from assertive to aggressive and he snatched the coat out of Julian’s hand with a sudden violent move. ‘Ok, so I’ll tell you how this is going down. Next time I want to kiss you, you’ll co-operate – and when I decide that you’re ready to go further, you’ll do exactly what I say. If you’re not happy with the arrangement you can leave now but there’s no going back. You’re either in now or out for good.’ He waited for Julian’s response and after a few moments seemed to realise he had gone too far and said in a calmer voice, ‘do you want to leave now or do you want to stay?’
Julian was frozen to the spot.
Erikson shrugged and gave his coat back. ‘I’m going to have another drink. You can join me or leave.’ He turned his back on Julian and returned to the lounge.
Julian had to wait until his breathing had responded to his inhaler before he could think clearly enough to make a decision. If he left now, it would be an end to him helping the police and possibly finding Sam. He simply didn’t have a choice.
Erikson was sitting on the sofa with his feet resting on the coffee table. He looked up from a magazine as Julian walked in. ‘Whisky?’
Julian nodded and accepted the glass held out to him. He remained standing.
‘Do you want anything stronger? I’ve got hash - LSD - cocaine?’
Julian shook his head.
Erikson stood up and walked over to him. He took the empty glass from Julian and placed it on a surface close by. The next move was two moves in one, and resulted in Erikson using his full weight to pin Julian against a wall while he kissed him with full mouth on mouth contact.
‘I knew you’d taste good,’ Erikson said. ‘Man, I can smell you - you’re so hot.’ He kissed him again longer and harder, and groped to undo Julian’s flies.
Julian pushed him away forcefully.
‘You’re not fooling me,’ Erikson said. ‘You want me to come inside you. Look at you, hot and sweaty – panting for more. But it’s ok – I can wait.’ He stepped back, allowing Julian to move away from the wall.
Julian went into the bathroom where the contents of his stomach only just made it to the toilet bowl. When he came out, Erikson was standing by the flat door holding his coat.
‘Come on, I’ll drive you home.’
‘No need, I can get a taxi.’
‘You’ll have to wait for ages to get one at this time of night. I’ll drive you.’
They were down in the underground carpark walking towards his car when a black cab pulled into the entrance to drop off a passenger. Julian stuck two fingers in his mouth and whistled hard to get the driver’s attention. The cab drove over to them and Julian opened the door.
‘When will I see you again?’ Erikson said.
‘I’ll come to the gym. Will it be open Easter Monday?’
‘We’re open every day except Christmas day and Boxing day.’
‘I’ll see you tonight, then,’ Julian said.
Erikson nodded and shut the taxi door for him. As the taxi drove away Julian settled back in his seat.
‘Where to, Gov?’ The driver asked.
‘Sussex Gardens, Paddington.’
Julian caught a glimpse of Erikson with his hands deep in his pockets looking frustrated as he watched them
drive away but for Julian, the arrival of the taxi had been a blessing. It meant Erikson wouldn’t see where he lived, and there was no goodnight kiss.
CHAPTER 16
34 Rutland Gardens, Knightsbridge
12:45 p.m. Easter Monday 27 March
Lizzie felt nervous as she was getting ready to leave her sister’s house. She had arrived last night with her daughters, Josie and Tina, and her sister had insisted that she would take the children to London zoo on Easter Monday; her own three children and Lizzie’s two. Sally was her senior by three years and her support had been the only thing that had kept Lizzie sane over the years. Sally had been there in Scotland when she had given birth to Sam. She had given Lizzie a safe place to come to when Peter drank too much and his overbearing arrogance turned into rage and now, when her world had been rocked with the return of Julian.
She tried on three outfits before settling on a smart slim fitting dark turquoise skirt and matching jacket. It was one of her favourites and although not as short as the latest fashion it was a good two inches above her knees. She spent ages on her hair, putting it up in an elegant high bun, but just as she was about to leave she caught sight of herself in the hall mirror. She looked like she was going to a job interview.
‘Damn.’ She pulled the clips out of her dark chestnut hair as she rushed back upstairs. Five minutes later she emerged with her hair down around her shoulders, wearing a cream sweater dress that hugged her shapely figure and showed just a hint of cleavage, and a wide black patent leather belt. Her sensible flat shoes had been replaced by black patent stilettos which matched the belt and the black patent shoulder bag. When she looked in the hall mirror again she saw the blush on her cheeks and smiled back at her reflection.
She felt confident as she walked down into Knightsbridge Road and through into Hyde Park but became anxious when she realised she was five minutes late. The Serpentine Restaurant was busy and Julian sat at a table by a bay window. He was watching a man playing football with a young boy and Lizzie noticed the sadness in Julian’s face. He didn’t see her until she was standing by the table.
‘I didn’t see you come in.’
He stood up and kissed her on the cheek and Lizzie was immediately reminded of how much she loved his scent. She had never met another man in her life that smelt so good without using cologne. With a racing pulse she looked at the menu but couldn’t concentrate enough to choose and in the end said she wanted the same as Julian; steak, new potatoes and a side salad.
‘What would you like to drink?’ he said.
‘Drink? Yes, thank you.’
He smiled at her. ‘Water, coffee - wine?’
‘Wine – yes, I think.’
Julian glanced at the wine list and chose a Chardonnay. ‘Are you alright?’ he asked when the waitress had left.
She blushed and smiled. ‘Yes.’ She reached towards him to touch a bruise on his jaw. ‘But you’re not - have you been in a fight?’
‘It’s nothing.’
‘I can see you’ve had stitches on the cut by your eye. You’re not going to say you walked into a door, are you?’
‘How’s your sister?’
She managed not to laugh at his attempt to change the subject to deflect the attention away from himself . . . nothing’s changed there . . . she thought. ‘As energetic as ever - she’s taken all five children to London zoo for the day.’
‘Five?’
‘My two and her three.’
‘That makes me feel rather under-productive,’ he said, laughing softly.
She felt her stomach flip at the sound of his laugh . . . oh my God, I still love him.
‘I’ve not had much success with finding Sam, I’m afraid.’
‘Not much? That sounds like you’ve had some news, at least.’
‘One of the soup kitchens said they had seen him a few weeks ago, and someone in a pub that Sam visits said he was there but again not recently.’
‘And the police?’
‘They say he’s a priority because he’s under eighteen but apparently there are too many missing teenagers.’
The waitress came to their table with the wine. When she had gone and they were alone again, Julian put his hand over Lizzie’s on the table.
‘There’s something else - I wasn’t sure whether to tell you or not. I don’t want you to worry.’
‘Is it about Sam?’
‘I don’t want you to get upset.’
‘You’re starting to worry me now,’ Lizzie said. ‘Please, just tell me.’
Julian took a deep breath and let it out slowly before speaking. ‘I went to the squat and asked them if there was anywhere that Sam liked to go. They named the pub, the one I’ve just mentioned. It’s the Coleherne in Earl’s Court.’
‘And?’
‘The Coleherne has a reputation as a gay pub.’
‘Are you saying Sam is homosexual?’
‘I don’t know for sure but the girl at the squat said he went there when he needed money for drugs.’ He held her hand. ‘I’m so sorry, Sweetheart. I was hoping I’d find him before I had to explain all this.’
Lizzie didn’t know if it was her distress at hearing the truth about Sam or Julian calling her ‘sweetheart’ that did it but she dissolved into tears and quickly left the table, leaving Julian to face the accusing looks from the other customers. Ten minutes later she was back at the table with puffy red eyes.
‘I bet I look a sight,’ she said.
He smiled at her. ‘Never.’
‘So, are you going to tell me where you got those cuts and bruises?’
‘Maybe you’ve heard enough for one day.’
‘No, you need to tell me,’ she said, taking hold of his hand. ‘Tell me everything, please.’
An hour later, they were walking along by the calm water of the Serpentine with arms linked.
‘Julian, what are you going to do if this man Erikson really fancies you?’
‘He already does, that’s why they want my help.’
She looked at him confused. ‘But what are you expected to do - what do the police expect you to do?’
‘They haven’t said exactly - but they promised to get me out if they think I’m in real danger. I don’t want you to worry about me - I can handle him and if not, I’ll give him enough diazepam to knock him out for a week.’
She stopped walking and turned to face him. ‘I know you’re putting your life in danger to help the police but really you’re only doing this for Sam, aren’t you?’
‘And for you - and myself. You probably won’t appreciate how I feel about Sam. Years ago, after you went away, I gave up on the idea of marrying and having children, and over the years although I’ve dated many women none of them changed my mind. Now I have a son, a son who needs me. I can’t turn my back on him.
* * *
Erikson’s Gym, Fulham Road
6 p.m. Easter Monday 27 March
When the receptionist phoned John in his office to say that Julian Hartmann had arrived, his first reaction was to rush down to greet him but he managed to restrain himself and sat down with a whisky to watch the security monitors. His office was on the first floor and had windows overlooking the swimming pool but he had security cameras set up in the main areas of the gym so that he could see them on monitors in his office. Julian was sitting in a chair facing the panoramic windows that looked out onto the pool.
After fifteen minutes, Julian was looking impatient and glanced over to the receptionist. When John came down the stairs Julian had picked up his bag and was walking towards the door.
‘Julian.’ John called out.
Julian stopped in his tracks and turned around.
‘Sorry I’ve kept you waiting.’
‘Better late than never, I suppose.’
John was amused to see a frostier side to his character. ‘I said, sorry - come on, I’ll show you around.’
John led the way through a set of swing doors into a corridor with doors marked ‘Guys�
�� and ‘Dolls’. The men’s changing rooms were busy but he found an empty locker for Julian’s belongings. He gave Julian a guided tour around the gym and the usual patter about the facilities and regulations, pointing out the signs in every room listing the house rules. He could see Julian was impressed, particularly with the boxing gym and the twenty metre pool.
‘You should take it easy for the first time, especially if your injuries from the other night are still bothering you,’ John said. ‘Maybe just a swim and a hot sauna would be best.’
Julian nodded. ‘I was thinking that myself.’
‘Well, I’ll leave you to it.’ John walked away from him and went back up to his office. He sat down on the large swivel chair by his desk and swung it around to look out onto the pool. Five minutes later, Julian came in via the changing rooms and walked the length of the pool towards the deep end. John was expecting him to be in good shape but he exceeded that tenfold. He was well built with muscles developed through exercise rather than using weights. He was lean, strong, and totally gorgeous. Julian had to be the hottest guy he had seen in years.
He watched Julian swim lengths of the pool, alternating between the crawl and breaststroke, but every now and then he rested and appeared to be in pain. When he had done about thirty lengths he got out and went back into the changing room. John guessed he would be going through to the sauna. That wasn’t a place for privacy but there was a fifty-foot walk down a corridor from the changing rooms to the sauna, and off that corridor was a door to a room that was used for appointments with the physiotherapist. Of course, today being a bank holiday meant the room would be empty.
John timed it perfectly and was in the corridor as Julian was leaving the sauna. He was carrying his swimming trunks and wearing a towel tied around his waist. He was dripping with sweat. When he saw John in his path he slowed down and gave him a questioning look.
‘Didn’t you see the house rules? No nudity permitted in the gym. There are signs up in every room. If you want to walk around with no clothes on you should go to a nudist camp.’
‘You expect me to be fully dressed in a sauna?’