by Dawn Kunda
She kept quiet as she kicked her foot up and down off the edge of the bed.
“I guess that answers my question.” He turned in disgust. “Before you leave the room, I’d style your hair differently and change clothes.” He said it like he talked to a child. He meant it in an angry manner and didn’t give a damn. The door slammed on his way out to prove his point.
Pumped up, he sprinted down the stairs to the first floor. Stepping into the lobby, he took a quick and thorough view of the people milling about, and then headed for the lounge. It must be happy hour as the bar attracted guests just finishing their tours. He didn’t know how happy his hour would be, but he was willing to give it a shot.
Sidling up to the bar, Cal ordered straight whiskey or whatever resemblance to the dark killer of a drink they carried. The first went down with a gulp and a tightening of the throat. The second and third traveled more smoothly.
As the fourth automatically appeared, he slowed down and swirled the glass of amber liquid. His stomach gurgled as hunger called. Ordering whatever came closest to an American burger and fries, he decided that getting obnoxiously drunk wasn’t the answer. The buzz that already swam across his head reminded him of what would come in the morning if he kept it up at this pace.
The burger stopped the noise of his gut. As he considered contemplating how to stay alive or more accurately, how to feel about Mary, he felt a tap on his shoulder. Two cups of Turkish coffee slid near his arm.
“I treated you badly.”
He looked up to see a swollen-eyed, beautiful woman next to him. “You cut your hair.” He turned back to his burger and took another bite.
She flipped her hair as she always did, even though it barely reached her shoulders now, just covering the menacing artwork. “Can I sit with you?”
He nodded without looking at her.
She sipped one of the coffees. “You should try this. It’s strong. Not bitter. Actually good.”
He looked at the steaming cup. “What brought you down?”
She brushed his shoulder as she sat down. “You did.” More silence. “I need to talk to you.”
“Shoot.”
She picked at one of his fries. “Not here. I have to admit something. Actually a few things.”
Cal downed the rest of his cocktail, took another bite, then offered the remainder to Mary. She took the burger and set it back on his plate, shoving the coffee before him. Taking the hint, he grudgingly sipped the hot brew. She always knew what moves to make with him. Her moves, instincts, or whatever he wanted to call them always proved right, whether better for him in the long run or only for the moment.
“Let’s go back upstairs.” He stood after he announced his spur-of-the-moment decision, turned back to grab the partial burger, and left her sitting as he traversed to the elevator. He heard her shoes tapping lightly behind him as he waited for the sliding door to open.
Chapter 19
He stood by the courtesy desk in their breezy room, finishing the rest of his dinner. His head cleared from most of the alcohol abuse. “What do you need to admit?” He imagined she would tell him that she played him to stay alive, that she didn’t trust him and sex would solve her inability to have faith in him as an operative partner.
Standing near him, she began. “First, about our mission.” Here it comes. “I didn’t tell you—didn’t get the chance—about what I stole from Chenzira’s desk.” He became alert. This must be what Chenzira’s henchmen were after. “I…I got a few memory devices. Flash drives. Obviously I haven’t looked at them yet, but I think they have to do with the arms deal in progress.”
“We had life-threatening information and you couldn’t tell me?” His hands clenched and his jaw tightened.
She stuck out her chin. “We never had a chance to discuss it. Initially, we had to escape the first of Chenzira’s men. Then I had to get out of the embassy. And so on. No time. Whenever I wanted to let you know, something happened and we’ve been running ever since.”
“Okay.” His stance remained the same, yet she had a point.
“I still have them. Do you want to tell Grant next time you contact him?”
“I’m sure he’d get us back faster if he already knew.” She winced at the truth. “Most of the plan, if that’s what’s on the drives, has probably been aborted already. Chenzira had to have found out they’re missing.”
“Probably.”
“Some of the information will still be useful, I’m sure, even if it just tells us who’s after us or what would’ve happened if you hadn’t taken the drives.” She nodded. “I can’t contact Grant any sooner than planned, but I know we can’t be sent back to the Hidden House. Chenzira’s men know us. We’ll probably be used as directors for the next mission. Much safer and in the States.”
Her mouth curved slightly, then she changed the subject. “My other concern is”—she shifted her position on the bed—“is the way I’ve treated you.”
“Oh?” Cal pulled the desk chair out. “I’ll sit for this one.” Right now, in a honeymoon suite, with the woman he wanted since he’d teamed up with her, he felt an unusual weakness.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Sorry for not wanting him?
“Sorry for using you.”
“Okay. So you simply needed a toy while on a mission? Too long for you to go without? Somebody else back home? I’m not your…”
“Please listen.” He stopped the questions. Pulling another chair next to his, she sat and leaned in close to his unshaven jaw and his hard-on-the-outside and melting-on-the-inside strained posture. He dared to wish and direct her next words. “I was wrong to…to seduce you without showing you what I really felt. I can’t trust myself with a man.” She stood up quickly.
His head cocked to the side.
“I don’t trust my feelings to last long enough to make it worth it to you.” She turned and walked to the window, dragging her fingertips down the clear glass.
“How do you know, if you don’t allow more than one night to occur?”
“I don’t.”
Cal stood, yet remained by his seat. He needed a little more. She could cut him off completely because of her fear of herself.
She turned to him, unbuttoning her blouse. “I’m willing to give it a chance.”
He rubbed his hands across his face and shook his head. “Wait a minute. What exactly are you telling me?”
“I want to give it a chance. Us.” Her statement cleared the moment, but confusion for the future interrupted his train of thought. “I trust you. I always have. I know what happened when I was shot during our first op together.” Her hands played with the waistband of her slacks.
“Why are you telling me this now?”
“Because I’ve been too stubborn to tell you before. The only thing I make commitments to is my work and I’m afraid of making a personal commitment. I’ve never tried it before. Never wanted to.”
“Again, why now?”
The thin material of her pants cascaded to the floor. “I know you want me or else you wouldn’t have put up with me for so long. I feel a great sense of relief being hidden in this monstrous-sized city along with throngs of tourists. And you’ve saved me many times.” She took a few steps forward. “And every time you put yourself in front of the man, the bullet, or risked your life for me, my heart lurched at the thought that you might not make it.” A small tear slipped down her cheek.
His hands unclenched. “Do you still feel in control? Do you want to be in control?” The thought of their one sexual escapade rolled through his mind.
“No to both.”
He felt lightheaded as he became aware of his blood flooding to his manhood. “You want to treat these couple weeks as a time to get familiar with each other?” He couldn’t believe he dared such a question so soon after his furious escape to the lounge.
“I don’t know about a commitment thing this soon, but I’m willing to hold your hand.” She reached out and took his hand in
her tender palm. “I’m willing to kiss you softly.” She leaned forward and brushed her lips across his. “I’m willing to, shall I say, touch your body with mine.”
She moved against his rigid frame, sliding her near nakedness against his fully clothed torso.
If nothing else, he wouldn’t be sleeping on the floor tonight. Hell, he didn’t want to sleep on the floor for the rest of the time they’d be together. His body shivered as he considered making love to the curvaceous body against him.
He finally found the ability to raise his hands and run them down her arms. Her skin felt like warm silk. Without another word, he finished her undressing and hurriedly yanked off his shirt. She undid his pants and allowed him to lead her to the bed where he gently pushed her down onto her back.
Glancing down her body and soaking in the sight of her bare skin, the full breasts, and curve of her waist, he reprimanded himself for falling into the pattern of short-term decisions. Everything had been explained away. Again. Yet, he needed to feel and experience what she had.
He didn’t take his eyes off her as he went to his bag and dug out one of the saved condoms. While he watched, she ran her fingers over her belly and around a pert nipple. This may not be the longest sexual act he’d ever commit, but he knew it’d be one of the best. He walked to the edge of the bed, standing between her legs as they relaxed to the side. Not taking the chance of waiting too long, he pushed his pants and briefs to the floor and slipped the condom over his already-stiff sex.
Falling over her, he supported his bulk with his arms on either side. Without hesitation, he dipped down and drew his lips across her neck. His libido took over and he swore he’d burst into flames if she stopped him at this point.
Her hands wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him closer. He liked the feel of it and damn it, he deserved to be close to Mary. Shoving aside any misgivings, he let his mouth slide lower. Her breasts felt wondrous under his tongue. He dug his hands beneath her bottom, let them wander to the back of her thighs, and then lifted her to his heated torso. His doubts trailed behind to a vanishing point as she offered what he craved.
Her lips found his neck and sucked greedily. She wanted him and demonstrated the response he’d been looking for. Not noticing when or how fast it occurred, his hardness searched for the slippery heat between her thighs. The hot wetness covered him and encouraged his body to push and pull against her to heighten both their excitement. Her legs rose up and tightened around his hips as if she didn’t want to wait for him to enter.
Lifting his head, he found her lips and crushed them with his mouth. Her tongue swirled and dove into his mouth creating shocks that plummeted straight to his groin, as if the energy of his body wasn’t explosive already.
Rubbing his chest against her, reveling in the connection of their skin, he needed to take her on his terms. He juggled his hips, easily spreading her legs further. With one hand beneath her butt and the other behind her head, he weaved his fingers into her thick hair. As close as imaginable, their bodies writhed with desire, back and forth. A slick, lust-filled heat pasted their bodies together, and neither attempted to pull away as he continued to grind against her. With too much desire and too much need, Cal lost his ability to extend the seductive torture any longer. His hips lowered and pushed his hard member, slowly at first, into her flaming juncture.
She grabbed his buttocks and pulled down. He went deeper and felt the tightening and releasing of her muscles as they claimed him. His rhythm grew faster and harder as his pulse rose. She followed his demand, rocking with his body so closely that he felt they were created for each other.
With this last thought, he felt her body stiffen and clamp around him. Her breath came out in a low scream of his name.
“Cal, Cal, don’t stop. I want more. I want all of you.” Her hands slid up his back to grip his shoulders and hold him close.
As if it was a calling card, her voice, saying his name, prompted his body to answer. He gritted his teeth and lowered his head to her collarbone as he thrust hard, holding himself deep as his body shook with ecstasy. He pulled back just enough to push in and feel the quivers her body sent to his. He did it again and extended the low screams from his partner as if the ride would go on forever.
One more thrust and then he noticed their bodies release the intensity and slowly settle against the other in sweet exhaustion.
Chapter 20
A bright light seeped through the cracks of the blinds at the eastern window. Mary slowly blinked away the hours of sleep, hours that had passed like minutes, considering this was the first uninterrupted sleep she’d passed since they’d entered the Hidden House.
Her thoughts tumbled around everything she needed—wanted—to figure out. Her and Cal are now caught deep in an operation with leaks of who knew how many and where they existed. Could they rely on Operations Officer Vic Grant? The lack of steady communication diminished the ability to trust. Again, who could they contact and make plans with for a safe return to the
States? She had no doubt that Chenzira still had men on their trail. How close was another question.
As the episodes of the last few days ran through her mind and brought her to full attention, she turned her head toward Cal. Apparently he needed more sleep than she. The covers had found their way to his waist, and she watched the metronomic cadence of his chest.
The last act came to mind. She frowned and tightened her lips as she recalled her weakness for his body when she all but seduced him again, although she had purposefully let him lead. Again, her decision, not his. This time she had allowed emotions to season the demands their bodies gratified. If only she could always give herself to him in this manner. She would have to curb her emotions as they had work to finish. An emotional and fulfilling relationship was not part of a CIA agent’s destiny.
She regretted coming to this conclusion, but she knew her current life which only consisted of work couldn’t change because of a few hours of pleasure. Pushing back her section of the blankets, she slid off the edge of the bed and felt a welcome chill race up her spine. Her naked body absorbed the scant slats of sun between the goose bumps.
Glancing back at Cal to make sure he hadn’t woken, she tiptoed to the bathroom to wash the pleasure of the night from her skin.
In the bathroom, she stared at herself in the lit-up mirror. Her hair no longer hung to the center of her back, but rather brushed her shoulders. Pushing the dark mass of wavy hair to the side, she viewed the careless etching of Roman. The dark plot of their work flooded her mind. She knew they needed a plan and she shoved the confusion about their intimacy to the corners like a forgotten toy in the closet. Always there, but will it be found again?
Dabbing the makeup over the dark lettering on her neck, she prepared to hide amongst the residents and tourists of Antalya. The dark circles under her eyes had lightened. The rest of her had remained the same. As if she expected any flaws in her body to be fixed or eliminated from the night of lovemaking.
She surprised herself as she scoffed at the thought. If sex meant feeling and caring, she needed no part of it. Cutting herself off wasn’t a pleasant thought, but it may be the only way to keep herself focused.
* * * *
The bathroom door silently opened. Cal sat on the edge of the bed with his pants back on and unbuttoned at the waist. “Good morning.” He watched her reaction. Although he ached for a repeat of last night, he wondered what kind of mood she’d wear this morning, or any other morning. He wasn’t completely convinced she wouldn’t change her mind again.
She passed a quick glance over his half-dressed, muscular body as she stumbled while attempting to pull on a pair of slacks. She grabbed her brassiere and a blouse and turned to the window to finish dressing. “Good morning.” She walked to the blinds and pushed a slat to the side for a view of the courtyard. “We probably should make a plan for the day and for what our next move will be.”
He stood and took a step. His mind raced to think of something
smart to say. It couldn’t be that she hadn’t been affected by their night together. “Do you want to order a breakfast and make plans while we eat?” She looked rigid against the backdrop of diffused light.
“Why don’t we grab something downstairs? I have a shopping list.” Since she wouldn’t close the distance, he walked to her and reached for her hand. The hold lasted a split second until she pulled hers away to brush the side of her hair back. “I’ve covered the marking. Can you tell it’s there?”
God damn. She did it again. Only this time she wasn’t cold and frigid and controlling in bed. Just after. He buttoned his pants. “You did a good job. I don’t think anyone will notice.” He grabbed the lump of his shirt from the floor near the desk.
“Cal—”
“Why don’t you call me Agent Guevin? I see we’re back to that stage.” He forced calmness as he buttoned his shirt, then strode to the bathroom.
She followed and stopped the door from closing. “Cal, I said I’d try. And I did.”
“Sometimes trying takes more than one act.”
“We need to think about surviving first, and I don’t see how I can mix the two.”
“Okay.” He turned to face her as he wiped a cold splash of water from his face. Watching her stare remain above the belt line, he dropped his pants and stepped into the shower. Talking over the run of water, he added, “You only trust me on one level and I won’t expect more than that for now.”
She let out an exasperated breath. “That’s not it. I told you that I trust you, that I know what happened last time, and that you saved my life.”
“Right.” He resisted the urge to grab her arms and pull her into the shower. “And the trust can only cover partnership right now.”
She briefly dropped her stare to the floor. “For now. While we work together.”
He finished a quick rinse and towel-dried his body and short hair without another word.
Keeping his chin high and chest out as he stepped forward, he brushed against her blouse while exiting. That she remained in the door of the bathroom surprised him. He wouldn’t allow it to mean anything. She backed away from the bathroom as he continued to walk. He stopped when he had her next to the bed.