‘That bloody gym.’ Andy snorted. ‘You know, if you’d ever asked me, I would have told you we didn’t play tennis or squash as often as he said. As for Tony, he’s wouldn't know the difference between a tennis racquet and a squash racquet.’
‘He got away with whoppers for a long time, didn’t he? He lied so well we were all easily fooled. None of us thought to question what he said.’
‘True. But he wouldn’t have gotten away with as much if Tony and Lisa hadn’t been in on it, too,’ Brigid said. ‘I never did like Lisa, but I thought Tony was straight up. We all did.’
‘What happens now?’ Andy asked.
‘We all pick sides and move on,’ Brigid said. She was decisive in all areas of her life. ‘What about you?’ She threw him a piercing glare.
I watched him, interested. He’d known Eddie for years. Despite his stern moral compass, his longstanding friendship comprised half his life versus only knowing me since we met at work.
‘I hate this.’ He twisted his hands together. ‘I hate to make a choice that changes everything, but what’s he done is unconscionable. If it was just an affair, a fling, I’d want to understand why he’d do that to you.’ He flicked me an apologetic glance. ‘But it’s so much more. I can’t get past all the lies and cover-up, all the secrecy and slinking. What the hell was he thinking? Why not just admit he’d fallen out of love with you and get divorced? That would be bad enough, but the months of making fools of all of us was pointless. He’s not my friend anymore. He’s a gutless asshole dicking around with someone who doesn’t have much going on between her ears.’
‘Plenty going on between her legs, though,’ Brigid muttered. She saw my face and clapped her hands over her mouth, flushing. ‘Sorry, Rose. That was truly horrible.’
‘True, though,’ I said, with a reluctant chuckle. ‘I haven’t heard from him since I threw his stuff on the lawns, but the more I think about it, the more I’m convinced he married me thinking he could take away fifty-fifty share in this house, without having contributed much.’
‘He can’t, can he?’ Brigid said, horrified.
‘Nope. That’s sorted. He might not even get a quarter, it depends on the judge’s decision at the end of the day. Dominic’s presenting him in a bad light, of course.’
‘Whatever your brother has to say will be true, though. Won’t it?’ Andy asked.
There were plenty of comments from random people over the ensuing weeks. All of them with varying levels of sympathy for me.
Mind you, I couldn’t help wondering what people thought of me. Mostly I didn’t care, but sometimes I’d lie in bed at night, in the spare room bed, watching shadows flickering on the wall and wonder if friends, acquaintances, even family, thought maybe I was so boring it was no wonder Eddie had gone looking for something more exciting.
Even I wondered if I was crap in bed. I didn’t have a lot of previous experiences to go by.
One outcome of my failure as a wife was a complete loss of appetite. Sure, I still ate ice cream, pizza and chocolate, just not that much, and only a few mouthfuls. Everything tasted like cardboard. In the first month I lost half a stone. I shrugged. Last year I would have jumped up and down with delight, but now I was indifferent. Even if I’d never gained any weight, Eddie would still have dumped me. Nothing I could have done would have changed the outcome.
At the end of two months I’d lost another seven pounds. My heart beat a little faster with pleasure. Dieting didn’t work for me, but unhappiness did. Rotten reason, satisfying result. With a bit more pride and the passing of time I began to feel the first stirrings of life.
During those two gloomy months I managed to remain upright and functioning by just gritting my teeth and going to work each day. Work was my solace. On weekends my parents and friends took it upon themselves to cheer me up. I had more fun thrown at me with them in eight weeks than I’d had with Eddie in more than a year. Our highlight had been the infrequent sex.
Some of the blame surely lay with me. I’d been so good at living frugally that I’d forgotten to pencil fun into our diaries.
‘That’s not true,’ Shona stated emphatically upon her return from Sydney. ‘You had weekends in Paris, Amsterdam and weekend outings to the coast or up to London to visit galleries, before you married dickhead.’ Her new name for him.
I couldn’t argue with that. Brigid nodded vehemently from a yoga position on the floor. ‘You definitely had fun. A lot more than I did. I’m the sit-at-home type, quietly reading, knitting or having a bottle of wine with you two. That’s when I have fun, when you’re around.’
‘Okay, so we did have fun. But it stopped before the wedding. We were just so busy getting ready for the big event that we stopped enjoying ourselves.’
‘Hm.’ Shona thought about that for a moment. ‘You know, I don't think that’s true, either.’ She counted on her fingers. ‘One, you had a low-key wedding. Two, you planned it with your mum – she’s a powerhouse of organization, and so are you, so there were no screaming tantrums or mishaps with anything. Three, I distinctly remember loads of dinner outings with the gang and you never stopped going to Friday pub and grub nights. All of this while doing full-time shift work.’ She stood, hands on hips. ‘Stop trying to blame yourself, Rose. Eddie changed, not you. He stopped spending time with you and told you it was your fault. He’s a bastard, that’s what!’
My eyes filled with tears.
Shona shoved the tissue box under my nose, patting my back. ‘Time to stop the weeping and wailing and get over the rotten prick.’
‘I must be boring. He told me I was boring in bed. And fat and useless. Even Bianca and Lisa knew I was boring in bed. They threw it in my face on that godawful Christmas shopping day.’
‘Oh yes.’ She dripped sarcasm. ‘Because, of course, everything Bianca, Eddie and Lisa said must be the truth. Never mind that they all lied to you for months and months, but on this occasion they must be telling the truth.’
I managed a half smile at that. Brigid nodded again from the floor.
‘That’s a bit better. And anyway, at what point were Bianca and Lisa ever in the bedroom when you and Eddie were having sex? How could they possibly know what was going on between you. Eddie was the only one there. And let me see – oh yeah – we trust everything he says.’
I tittered. She was right. A few nasty sneers and I’d lost my self-esteem, especially sexually.
Shona pushed on. ‘Don’t let a two-timing, lying, cheating, piece of scum like Eddie make you feel worthless. You’re easily a million times more valuable as a woman and as a human being than those two oxygen thieves.’
‘What’s an oxygen thief?’
‘Duh.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘Waste of space, people who don't deserve to breathe.’
‘Ouch! Harsh.’
‘True, though. Some people should never be born, they live only to make other people miserable.’
Brigid seconded everything Shona said.
She reiterated it much more bluntly, though, when the three of us were having a pajama party at Brigid’s flat. It was like the old days, except for the conversational content.
‘You’re gullible,’ Brigid said, not beating around the bush. ‘You always want to see the best in everyone. Bianca saw that and played you every time she rocked back into your life. Don’t take any of this the wrong way, because being generous to a fault is an endearing quality. But your naivety with a shyster like Bianca is why you’re sitting here today waiting for a divorce. You know what you also did?’
I shook my head, wary. Brigid can be brutal.
‘You made the assumption that your needs weren’t as important as Eddie’s. So instead of challenging Eddie about abandoning you for the gym, you let his selfishness win. He browbeat you if you made even the tiniest protest. So, when he bumped up against someone even more selfish than him, they hit it off. They both viewed you as a pushover, too dumb to see what was under your nose.’
‘Well, that’s true.’
We both shook our heads.
‘I think Tony and Lisa are getting divorced, too.’
‘Oh, do tell,’ Brigid’s eyes brightened. ‘Serve ‘em right!’
Just being with my two best friends was some of the best medicine. That and the passage of time.
While I felt impregnable in the house, knowing Eddie couldn’t legally enter without my permission, I was wary about meeting him or Bianca whilst out shopping. Sure enough, I bumped into Bianca about eight weeks after Eddie defected to her flat.
Her face blanched at first, then her face transformed from guilty sneak to brazen sneer.
‘You!’ She gave me a slow head to toe once-over. ‘Still the sad, fat loser. I finally took everything from you, didn’t I?’
I returned her scornful look. ‘Why Bianca, why? I don’t understand. You come to me whenever you’re in need, and then turn around and stab me in the back. Why?’ I knew I sounded pathetic, especially as my eyes watered, even as I blinked them away. Maybe Bianca should know I was hurting.
Momentarily, she wouldn’t meet my eyes, then a cruel smile curved her lips and her eyes lifted to meet mine with a slight toss of the head. ‘Because I can take anything I want from you. You’re such an easy target.’
I suddenly felt light-headed and a lump formed in my throat. The sneering contempt felt like a slap to my face, my cheeks even throbbed as if she’d hit me.
‘You were never really my friend, Rose. I just used you to get everything I wanted, and you, you stupid bitch, gave me the things I needed with a big, daft smile on your homely little face. Now I’ve used you up and I’m tossing you aside like an old pair of shoes. You handed me everything on a plate, most especially your husband.’ She licked her scarlet lips suggestively, laughing at my gullibility.
The air punched from my lungs. I stood there willing my brain to unfreeze my tongue, but nothing came. I stared at her, speechless.
Bianca laughed derisively. ‘Cat got your tongue, you big, fat slug?’
Air whooshed back into my lungs, this was my most hated nickname.
‘Believe me, Bianca, you won’t get everything you want. You might have my worthless husband, but you won’t get my house and you won’t get my holiday.’
‘Watch me.’ Her contempt for me all-encompassing.
I actually felt the hackles rise on my back. I was in the presence of a predator. I resisted the urge to flee – she’d have loved that.
‘I’ll watch.’ I feigned calmness. ‘I’ll watch as you try to take everything, cos you won’t succeed; the law is fair and Eddie is in for a shock. Good luck on trying to get anything else, Bianca.’
Bianca’s face underwent a range of emotions, before the cruel smile returned. ‘I’ll get your ring, though. You can’t keep that.’
Baffled, I realized she meant it.
‘I don’t know what planet you live on, but two things strike me as bizarre. One, why would you want a second hand ring? And two, just how do you suppose you’re going to get it off my finger? It belongs to me and it’ll never be yours.’ I lifted my hand, waving it in her face.
Face acquisitive, her eyes followed my hand. ‘We’ll see about that.’
A light bulb went on in my head. ‘You think Eddie paid for this, don’t you?’ I sniggered. ‘Well, you’d be wrong. He paid for half of it. I paid the other half, so you see, even if he wanted it back, it’s not his to take from me. Honestly, Bianca, you’re as dumb as they come.’ Her eyes went flinty at this. ‘He hasn’t told you everything has he? Maybe you should watch out, dummy, he’ll already be lying to you, he’s obviously very good at it.’
Bianca’s face went hard, her eyes icy chips. ‘We’ll see about that ring, Rose, we’ll see.’
‘Hell will freeze over.’ I rolled my eyes and walked off. Bianca must have rocks in her head.
However, once out of her sight, I paused, and stared unseeing into a shop window. The ring was mine, but did I still want it?
Bianca would never have it, but Eddie would try to con me out of it.
Fat chance.
On impulse, I walked right through the shopping center until I reached my uncle’s jewelry store. Uncle Bill specialized in bespoke engagement rings and had made mine with great care.
‘Rose, darling girl.’ Uncle Bill swept me into a huge hug. Releasing me, he stepped back assessing me with a frown. Patting my hand, he took me into the tiny kitchenette at the back of the store. ‘To what do I owe the pleasure of your delightful company?’ he asked, his frown transforming to a smile.
‘Well,’ I began, ‘I’m sure you’ve heard on the family grapevine my unhappy news.’
He nodded, a quick smile slipping from his face, tut-tutting. ‘Most unpleasant for you, precious girl. Little toad. I wish him giant carbuncles on his flabby backside.’
I giggled. ‘You’re incorrigible. You paint an irresistible picture.’ In fairness, though, Eddie’s backside had never been flabby while mine certainly was. I didn’t need to mention this unimportant fact.
‘Well, well, nothing less than the nasty chap deserves, I’m sure. Coffee?’
I nodded. He makes great coffee.
‘I just bumped into the little slapper he’s taken up with,’ Uncle Bill’s eyes twinkled at my words, ‘and she seems to think she can not only acquire my husband, but my beautiful engagement ring, too.’ I held out my hand, admiring the diamonds.
‘Now, don’t worry,’ I jumped in quickly, seeing his mouth open to protest, ‘I know Eddie’s not entitled to it in a divorce settlement, but it occurs to me that I could settle any potential dispute by, um, how shall I put it...disposing of the problem.’
Raising my eyebrows, I slipped off my ring.
‘Hmm, I see your point.’ Uncle Bill rubbed his chin and bestowed a shrewd glance on me. ‘You’re sure about this?’
‘Never more sure, Uncle. I paid for half of it and it was still a gift given to me supposedly with love, but it’s lost its allure now Eddie’s not only left me, but got his little tart up the duff, as well.’
Uncle Bill lifted his eyebrows, peering over half-moon spectacles. ‘Well elucidated. Pithy and to the point, my dear. Must remember that delightful turn of phrase for future reference.’ His mouth twitched up at one corner. He pulled out his jeweler’s monocle and took his time examining the ring, while I sipped coffee.
‘The diamonds are, of course, intact, although the gold shows a little wear and tear. To be expected, of course. Well,’ he looked at me frankly, ‘if I were you, I’d get rid of this post-haste, leaving Eddie out of the loop. I can give you a fair price for the diamonds, love, but the gold’s only useful for melting and re-using on something less valuable.’
He named a sum and I smiled – it was better than an anonymous jeweler would have offered, while still a businesslike sum.
‘What do you say?’
‘You know what? That sounds fair to me. Thank you, I’ll take it. I don’t want the ring anymore and with that much money I can buy myself a very nice present. Something expensive.’
‘Good girl. That’s the ticket. Might I recommend a classy timepiece as an enduring gift to yourself, a sound way to spend your money. Something that will last you a lifetime. A word of warning, though.’ He wagged a finger. ‘Don’t tell him what you’ve done. I certainly shan’t. I’ve had a few men back in here, trying to flog their ex-wives rings. It’s poor form, very poor form indeed. The rings aren’t theirs to dispose of. They belong to the woman who received them as a gift.’ His mouth turned down in disapproval.
‘Thanks, Uncle. You’re a gem.’ I hugged him.
‘Would you like me to deposit cash in your bank account, if you give me the details?’
I thought for a second and shook my head. ‘No, I don’t want any unexplained money in my accounts, in case his lawyer ferrets it out. No, if it’s okay with y
ou, I’ll take it as cash and keep it safely hidden. Thanks for the offer, though.’
‘Just so. Let me open the safe. I’ll be just a tick.’
The safe is at the back of his work space. He scurried off, looking like a furtive plump squirrel. I’ve always adored Uncle Bill, he’d played the best Santa when we were children. I finished my coffee. He was back in five minutes, eyes everywhere, looking for thieves, a velvet bag hidden in his jacket.
‘Here you are, love. Now, might I suggest not putting this in your handbag, put it somewhere about your person. Perhaps tucked into your waistband?’ He hovered fretfully, anxious to be sure the bag was secure.
‘I don’t think anyone’s going to find this,’ I said, wriggling the bag into place in the waistband of my jeans. ‘They’d have to crash tackle me to find it.’ I giggled. It’s a decent sum of money, and for a split second wondered if it would be better in the bank.
No. Eddie shouldn’t have any share of this loot.
With a final hug and more dire warnings, I left, and made my way home without any undesirable attempts “on my person”.
Lying in bed that night, I played and replayed Bianca’s humiliating words and her spiteful smile. Wave after wave of mortification left me restless. Bianca had been right – I’d been played for a fool all the way through from high school to present day. Why had I allowed her so much space in my life?
Admitting her utter disdain for me today had shown me a side of myself I hadn’t understood before. Coupled with Eddie’s sneering scorn.
I’d behaved like a doormat.
No more.
Nobody else would control my life.
Decision made, tension slipped away, sleep crept up in waves. My last fleeting thought before I slipped into uneasy dreams contained a dim memory of Bianca today. She hadn’t looked glowing in her pregnant state. Pale and tired instead. I half smiled. Maybe all-day sickness.
Did I care? I did not.
Chapter Sixteen
After my disagreeable meeting with Bianca, Eddie embarked on regular phone calls to insult my intelligence.
Promises Made- Promises Kept Page 21