I looked up to see his reaction, some small part of me still believed this whole situation to be nothing more than a cruel joke at my own expense.
His face lit up with happiness and his beautiful eyes glittered in a way that I feel like comparing them to stars would be an injustice. The tenseness in his shoulders relaxed and his smile could make the moon and the stars weep with jealousy, never being able to match even half of the beauty that practically oozed out of every pore of his face. The shine in his eyes outshone the sun itself and I felt that I had to look away before he blinded me with it.
Before the sight of his eyes and the thought of his beauty rendered me speechless and weak. Before I would just agree to anything he asked of me just to get him to keep smiling.
He hid his emotions well, after a moment to get his bearings, though his eyes continued to light up. He didn’t let me see his beautiful smile for long and it’s not fair. I deserved more of that dazzling scene that came to life in front of my eyes. “Good. We should have a big ceremony… for the ruse.”
I rolled my eyes. What is up with him? He already told me he loves me. What more could he be worried about? This dork. “Sure.”
He wants me to believe he wants me to marry him not because of love, which is bizarre. Why would he want me to think that? He told me he loved me multiple times already! But I know better than to look a gift horse in the mouth. We will be married. We will be happy That has to be enough.
He was happy right now though, and honestly… that was all that I really needed to be on board with this decision.
When I thought about it, it worried me, just a tiny bit, to know how much I valued his happiness over anything else. Even my own.
It should have worried me more. But being in his strong arms seemed to comfort me, no matter how truly illogical I knew that was.
Chapter 11
It didn’t help my worries and suspicions about his work. Living with him, that is. See! I’m so out of sorts I can’t even string a decent sentence together! It’s just the hormones. Werebear offspring bring a lot more than any normal pregnancy would.
I was eating some disgusting concoction of mayonnaise, sushi, and fried egg that I had to beg Damian to get for me. Cravings make a girl even crazier than normal, evidently. I’m eating this food and I don’t even know if I like it. I also don’t think cravings should come in the third week of pregnancy, but what do I know? Werebear anatomy vs Human anatomy is so different that I can’t even try and find a middle ground to figure out how this pregnancy is going to go.
Adding to that stress is that he still won’t tell me about his job. And he goes out in the middle of the night. I would think he was a masked vigilante… if there were any masked vigilante’s around, that is.
Since there aren’t, I really need to know the truth. I promised I wouldn’t try and ask him about it, and I promised not to follow him to work. Gah! Why am I so easy to convince? I should have never made that promise.
“I have to go to work. I’m sorry for the short notice.” He kissed my forehead as he got up from the bed and pulled a nice 3-piece-suit from his closet indiscriminately. It doesn’t matter which suit he used. He looked beautiful regardless.
“It’s three in the morning.” I couldn’t help but argue. Did he really have to leave me now? Can’t somebody else go? Why can’t he stay? Why does he need to leave the house in the middle of the night? He barely ever works in the daytime. “What do you have to do that requires you work in the middle of the night?
I blushed when I realized I had immediately broken the exact promise I made. I promised not to ask and that was exactly what I did.
“I love you more than anything else in the world.” He promised me, giving me this genuine smile that made me melt inside. He turned me into a pile of goo with just a kind word, and I wish I could be angry about that, but I love him too much for it. I love him much too much to think twice.
“But,” I prompted him, knowing he was struggling. I couldn’t help but help him out, even with something like this. He acted like the world was against him sometimes, and deep down, I think he even subconsciously sees me as being against him. I’m not his enemy, and I never would be. I just need to be patient with him. He’ll understand me, understand our love someday.
He growled to himself. “I just can’t. Why don’t you get that?”
“I can’t get it because you haven’t explained anything to me yet!” I shouted back at him, earning a growl from the man whose baby was currently in my stomach, making me even irater than I already was. “Stop growling!”
“Clarissa.” I hate how he said my name right now. Almost patronizing. He was trying to make me calm down. Trying to make me just accept this is the way things are. Because my husband is an overly complicated nut-job sometimes.
“I have to go- Stop- Clarissa- Antony Nelson needs my help. He’s my best friend and I’m not abandoning him!” I kept interrupting him and each time, he became louder and louder.
Was it bad how excited I was all of a sudden? I got exactly what I wanted. A name. A lead. I can use that name!
All I have to do is search that guy. But Damian can’t know. I know it’s wrong to keep secrets from my love, I mean, I know he’s keeping secrets from me. But that can all just be forgiven. He’s too lovable for that.
Well, it’ll be forgiven the second I figure it out.
I schooled my expression into a mask of indifference so he would be unable to find out what I am thinking of. “Okay.” I made sure to sound extra whiny. Impossible to ignore. I sounded like I would do anything to keep him here.
Did he buy it? Wow. And I thought Werebears instincts told them everything? I guess, because a large part of me wished for him to stay here, in my arms, he couldn’t tell the truth.
Either way, I wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth.
“I will return to you as soon as possible, Love.” He pressed a soft kiss to my lips and I was filled with guilt. He clearly picked up on it, attributing it to my guilt over being so possessive over his attention and time. “I would not leave you if I didn’t have to. This is, however, a necessary evil.”
And then he was walking out of the house.
Yes.
Chapter 12
If I had one flaw, it would be… well, shortsightedness. Obliviousness? Recklessness? A single-minded determination to always get what I want?
Dammit. I was going somewhere with this!
Oh, yeah. If I had one flaw, it would be nosiness.
I always had to know everything that was going on and exactly why and what it was, how to stop it or make it go on longer. How to get what I want. How to change the world.
How? Why? Where?
Mother used to tell me I have the heart of a journalist. I told her I have the soul of an artist.
Mother-Dearest may be more right than I have ever given her credit for. I drummed my fingers on the laptop in my lap. The sound relaxed me as I considered my options. This is my last chance. I could put it away. Pretend I wasn’t going to attempt to betray my true love’s trust by poking my nose where it doesn’t belong.
Prove that he was right to classify me as, at least on some small level, an adversary. Someone, he can never tell the truth to and really trust him.
I wasn’t one though.
I lived and breathed for him. I would do anything for him. Except this. Like a stubborn dog with a juicy bone, I have a one-track mind and I need to know. It would drive me mad if I didn’t at least try. It would be in the back of my mind for the rest of my life.
This is purely unselfish, I promised myself. It would drive a wedge between the two of us. I’m merely attempting to prevent such a thing from happening. Prevent myself from getting too fed up. Prevent a million fights over the same stupid topic.
Not even I bought what I was attempting to sell.
It would be better if I did. Easier. Simpler.
The truth was, I was afraid on some level. That all of this was a lie. That his sto
ries didn’t line up. That he isn’t the man I think he is. And only the truth can alleviate that fear.
With this in mind, I decided to engage in this pure stalker behavior. I began to look him up. Antony Nelson. At the very least, I will match a face to a name. At worst, I’ll get truths that I am unprepared for. Anything, any answer, is better than what I have now to go off of. My fingers dance around the keyboard as I put his name in every search engine I can find.
I’ve never been good at research, but I’m hormonal and determined.
And there is nothing more capable than a woman on a mission! (Except, you know, somebody who is actually competent at the subject matter.
I nearly threw my laptop away and smashed it when I came up with nothing. There were whispers here and there of A. Nelson, some kind of a master manipulator. But it couldn’t be. Damian wouldn’t surround himself with those kinds of people.
All the images were of different men. Some Hispanic, a few Scottish, one Japanese. Maybe it’s a code name? Like a cool superspy. Is Damian a superspy? That would explain a lot.
Okay, if I’m being honest, it wouldn’t explain anything.
Grasping at straws here!
I love him, so I’ll pretend that that’s okay and I don’t care.
Chapter 13
Sure. Every girl spends their childhood dreaming of their fairytale wedding. And sure, I never got the answers to my questions. And sure, it’s annoying being rushed through the planning phase, but we needed to be married as soon as possible.
He wanted us to get married before I began to show.
I never thought a wedding could be planned and executed in 3 weeks, but he has somehow done it. I guess enough money can really get anything you want done the way you want it to be done.
We are in some kind of large cathedral. It was an eggshell white and ornate paintings covered the ceiling. There were mosaics on each of the windows. The seats were lined with silk and there were beautiful flowers strewn about the room.
I could name every flower and what they were. The first flowers were white with blood red streaks coming from the stem to the petals. Tulips. And they were variegated. Beautiful eyes. That is the meaning of the flower.
He chose each flower, and I didn’t understand why this one. His eyes are like molten sapphire, pools of emotion that I could just drown in. But he was not arrogant. Not enough to pick flowers for himself. I suppose he told me once or twice that my blue-grey eyes were like a storm, that belies the softness I hold deep inside my heart.
He thinks I’m beautiful.
He really, truly does.
The next are these tiny white star-shaped flowers. Simple and traditional. Stephanotis. Happiness in Marriage. He wanted us to have a happy marriage together.
The third flower was orange blossom. Sure, they were not the prettiest flower, simple and almost plain, like me. That may be why they were my favorite. They are so unremarkable, yet they stand for Eternal Love.
Just like that, my pre-wedding jitters all melted away.
Staring into the mirror, I saw a different person. I wanted to be beautiful on my wedding day. To dazzle the world, the way he dazzles everyone he meets. Spending all day getting ready is almost worth it.
My usual uncontrollable bush of curls was tamed into a smooth updo that makes me look like Cinderella. My thick glasses stayed, as contacts bothered my eyes. My makeup was professionally done and I looked like a fairy tale princess.
My dress fit my form beautifully. I didn’t look as chunky as I always felt. Made of duchess satin fabric, it probably cost more than anything else I own. Good thing I didn’t pay for it. It has a trumpet silhouette and I feel like I just stepped off of a glamor magazine.
Feeling like a princess and walking down the aisle to see my perfect man. I doubted my wedding day could get any better than this.
Sure, my dad wasn’t invited to walk me down the aisle, because I don’t want him to be part of my life anymore. My closest friend, Kitty, has her arm wrapped around mine as she leads me to my husband-to-be.
“Don’t you dare have second thoughts.” She hissed at me, noticing I tensed up. She assumed I had cold feet. I have to admit when I first saw her, I did. She even looks better than I do on my own wedding day. I took it as a sign.
She was wrong though. I didn’t want to escape, I wanted to fuck tradition and run towards Damian. I finally saw him after a long night without him, and it was like a year without rain wasting away in a desert as I missed him.
And oh god, is he beautiful.
He was wearing black eyeliner, making his beautiful blue eyes even more noticeable. A thin sheen of pink lipstick drew the eyes closer to his kissable lips. I don’t know how some people think guys don’t look good in make-up. It just enhances what is already there, and on Damian, it just improved what is already perfect. His bronzed skin almost seemed to be glittering in the soft light of the room. I requested he wear a new suit, and it looked hot on him.
Apparently, Kitty picked it out. I would be jealous if I didn’t know that Kitty was a lesbian. She wouldn’t touch any guy I liked, even if she was straight. She might be a nosy little brat most of the time, but there was no one on earth I trusted more than her.
That trust should definitely go to clothes too. Look at that drool-worthy tux he was wearing.
The burgundy color matched my dress and it complimented his skin color so beautifully. Oh dear. I have to stop from drooling, or crying, or sweating. Just make sure no liquids pour from my mouth.
The sight of me made his face crumple up and I froze. Is something wrong? Was this all a mistake? Is he getting cold feet? Oh my god, I must look ridiculous. And then I heard him begin to sob. Does he regret proposing? Does he regret being with me?
I’ll be honest, if not for the way I felt Kitty’s nails biting into my arm, I would have had a panic attack and bolted. I stayed my ground and walked forward.
I looked into his eyes, afraid of what I would find. I was wrong. He loved me. There was a wide smile on his face. Tears slipped down his cheeks and he looked at me with such love in his eyes.
His mouth was moving but I couldn’t comprehend the words, my eyes just followed his mouth movements. The blood was rushing in my ears as I thought of how he was crying, real actual tears. I strained myself to try and read his lips but kept getting distracted by how perfect and beautiful his mouth was.
I came to my abrupt decision. Come hell or high water. Nothing will keep me from this man. This man who makes the world go around and makes my world so much better. This man who would tear apart the cosmos themselves for me.
This man who provided for me and saw the greatness in me and loved me. Love isn’t a good enough word. He worships me, like some kind of celestial goddess that I definitely am not. He who loves and worships me so much he is crying, letting his shields down for everyone to know that I am his love and he worships the ground I walk on and when it comes to me, he doesn’t care who knows about it.
My heart felt so full I wanted to sob.
What have I ever done to deserve such a wonderful man who loves me so much he can’t even stand it?
What have I done to earn the love and tenderness and care that shown in his glittering eyes?
Of course, I know love isn’t something you earn because you are worthy of it. It is something you have to work for. And I believe, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for this love.
The wedding moved at a blur as I held onto his hands for dear life. Nothing else mattered and I felt completely incapable of noticing anything but him. I stared into his passionate blue eyes and wondered if he could see the love I felt for him twinkling back in my eyes the way I devoured the sight of his eyes looking at me with such pure love.
I was barely lucid enough to whisper a soft “I do,” when the priest asked.
The breathless way Damian’s response sounded, made my heart beat a million times in a second.
“The couple has written their own vows.”
Dam
ian grabbed my hand and brushed a soft kiss against the knuckles. “Beloved.” My face flushed against my will at the term of endearment. “I humbly give myself to you, all that I am and will be. I only pray that you are willing to teach me how to love you correctly. I promise to be your willing pupil and your devoted disciple as long as we both shall live.”
Sobbing in happiness was all I could do. “Without you,” He continued. “I am in darkness and with you, I see only the light.” He slipped the ring on my finger. “With this ring, I thee wed.”
I had to compose myself. Get to my vows. The words were getting jumbled up in my frazzled brain as I felt so many emotions at once. I don’t even know if I will just combust with the happiness I feel in this instance.
When I was calm enough, I began. My voice stronger than ever before. I have never been surer of anything than I am about this. This man is the man I will spend the rest of my life with and there is nothing I will allow to step in our way. “I promise to stay with you. Through thick and thin. When the rains fall and the cool breeze freezes you, you can count on me. Let’s travel through this adventure of life together. Whose most painful trials will be diminished by your presence, and whose moments of happiness will increase exponentially by you being by my side.”
I slipped the ring on his finger and pressed my lips to his in a deep kiss.
This kiss was so different than every other kiss we have shared.
Every passion fueled moment was nothing compared to this. Compared to the taste of his lips as they caressed mine with all the gentleness and love that he could feel.
All of a sudden, I found the secrets didn’t matter to me. Who cares? If we can be together, then it has to be enough. It has to be enough.
The rest of the wedding and the reception was a blur. Who cares who we meet or what’s happening or where I am? His hands were in mine and his eyes were on me. And that is enough for me.
Daddy In Charge_A Billionaire Romance Page 18