He watched her trembling, knowing he was getting to her. Again.
She lifted her head slowly. “There’s no such thing as Fate. Stop acting like we’re destined or something. It’s nothing but a physical draw. It happens all the time. Even to humans. I’m sure if we threw in the towel and fucked, we’d realize all this posturing had been for nothing.”
He flinched at the flippant way she used the word fuck when he knew full well it wasn’t an everyday vocabulary word in her repertoire. He stared at her for several seconds, trying to decide how to respond to her absurd statement. After licking his lips, he spoke again. “First of all, you know that’s crap. Even though not every single grizzly shifter is easily aware of their mate—and certainly not at such a young age—it does happen.”
She pursed her lips.
He continued, leaning closer to her. “And don’t even try to make light of the passion between us as if a one-night stand would put an end to the curiosity and mystery. If you truly believe we could walk away after having sex, then let’s put it to the test.” He lifted a brow, challenging her.
What the hell was wrong with him? Why was he pushing her to do something he agreed wasn’t in their best interest?
She flinched. “Not a chance in hell, Alton. You’ve lost your mind.”
“Afraid you might be wrong?” he continued to prod.
“What difference would it make? Our families would both flip their lids and explode if they ever caught wind of the fact that we’d been in communication at all, let alone slept together.”
She wasn’t wrong. And there was a good chance he had lost his mind. But some days he simply didn’t care anymore.
At least she didn’t refer to their joining as fucking again. That got on his nerves. He stepped closer, closing the gap between them to inches.
She retreated, shuffling backward farther than he’d approached. She held out a hand. “Stop. You promised.”
He nodded. “I did. And I’ll keep that promise for as long as you insist, but I’m growing weary, Jos.”
“Then you shouldn’t track me. You’re the one who made things worse today by hunting me down.”
He nodded again, slowly. “Perhaps you wanted to be found. After all, as I pointed out, you’re on my land. I could turn you in for breaking the treaty,” he added as if he would ever do such a thing.
She shot him a glare and pursed her lips for a moment before speaking again. “Accident. My bad. Wasn’t paying attention. Don’t read anything into it.”
She was lying. He could sense it. “Fine. But come on. We used to at least be friends, civil toward each other. Now you won’t even take my calls.”
He’d stopped trying months ago when she stopped responding to even his texts. A man could only endure so much rejection.
She lowered her gaze again, her fingers reaching to tuck that same errant lock of hair behind her ear. It immediately bounced free again.
“Jos, it’s simple. We have no choice but to explore this thing. You know it as well as I do.” He’d never been this blunt with her before, and he had no idea why he was doing so now. It was a horrible idea. He knew it. She knew it.
She didn’t acknowledge him.
“Been dating a lot lately?” he asked, knowing the answer. Silvertip, Alberta, wasn’t large enough for anyone to keep their dating habits a secret.
She flinched. “Of course not,” she told the ground. And then, as if realizing how odd she’d worded that statement, she rushed to cover it up, “I’ve been busy at work. A lot is going on.”
He knew that was true. She worked hard. Always had. Even when they’d been away at the University of Calgary, she’d been a workaholic. He wasn’t entirely sure her work ethic back then and still to this day had anything to do with an actual desire to be an overachiever so much as a deep-seated need to avoid the truth. About him. About them. About their future.
In all honesty, he too had ignored that truth for many years, and if he had any sense, he would continue to do so, but he was tired of fighting the pull. Fighting with her. He needed to know for sure. In his heart, he’d known she was his for many years, but was it only lust? Could it possibly be abated? And, more importantly, what would that entail? He knew the answer to that question without voicing it out loud.
Nothing could happen between them. He reminded himself of that often. And yet… He was hardheaded when it came to Joselyn. His loyalty lay with his pack, his family, his ancestors. The ties that bound him to his family were tight. As were the same ropes that tethered her to her pack. Strangling them.
The Arthurs did not mix with the Tarbens. Ever. It had been that way for over a century, and it would continue to be that way forever. Any attempt to defy that truth would only end in heartbreak for both of them. The attempt alone could alienate them from their town, their parents, their siblings, everyone.
And yet…
“I’m never going to give up, Jos,” he whispered. “I can’t. We’ve been back in Silvertip over a year. I miss seeing you. Talking to you.”
“I know,” she conceded. She licked her lips, staring intently at his before jerking her gaze back to his eyes. “It’s hard.”
“What’s hard? Life in general, or denying your mate?”
She winced. “You can’t know for sure we’re meant to bind together.”
He didn’t answer. The only way he could respond would have been to contradict her, and doing so would infuriate her. Instead, he tried another tactic. “I miss you, Jos. We used to be friends at least. Please, take my calls. Answer my texts.”
She swallowed hard. “Okay.”
Finally. Headway.
He lifted a brow. Would she? Or was she simply saying what she knew he wanted to hear?
All through university, they’d been in contact. Like a forbidden fruit, they’d skirted the truth. Ignored the facts. Intentionally.
When they’d been younger, he’d agreed with her. His family would have wigged out if he’d made any overtures of intending to bind to a member of the Arthur pack. The feud between their families was over a century in the making and ran so deep that many of the older generation harbored a grudge so absurd it made Alton’s skin crawl.
When they’d gotten away from Silvertip, they’d at least started speaking. Of course, this was due in large part to his bargaining skills—or what she preferred to refer to as blackmail.
Alton took things incredibly slow with her. For one thing, in theory, he agreed. They couldn’t possibly end up together. However, he’d been drawn enough to ensure they saw each other often. He’d been a sophomore when she started at U of C. He’d moved into an apartment. Alone. Intentionally? Perhaps deep inside he’d always wanted the door to be open to the possibility she would one day be his. And he certainly didn’t want to have to contend with a roommate if and when that day came.
But it didn’t. Joselyn was serious about her convictions from the beginning. She insisted he never touch her, and she held on to that persistence the entire five years. Nothing about their relationship had ever been conventional.
He sighed. “Okay?” Hope.
She nodded. “I don’t have many friends. I could use one. No one has to know.” She narrowed her gaze. “But that’s it, Alton. Friends. Stop badgering me for more. I won’t give in. Besides, it would ruin our friendship.”
Such as it was.
He missed her laughter. The way her hair fell around her face the few times she wore it down. The way she tucked her feet under her when she concentrated on her homework. He’d never had more than a strict friendship with her, taking what she would offer and not complaining. At least not often.
He hated that she didn’t have friends, but who was he kidding? He didn’t have many close relationships, either. His sibling and parents, but not many outside friends.
He knew the reason why too. His world was consumed with Joselyn. He had few other thoughts. If he couldn’t share this thing with her, what else was there to discuss? Besides, any close friend
would wonder why he chose not to date or turned down offers to go out for a beer.
Alton Tarben spent his days in his own family’s rival brewery, Mountain Peak Brewery. He worked long hours, and when he wasn’t at the office, he filled his time running in the mountains in bear form or working out in human form. He did anything and everything to avoid thinking about Joselyn.
Her life mirrored his. He was sure of it. And she’d just admitted she didn’t have close friends either.
“I’ll call. You’ll answer. We’ll talk.”
She nodded. Was she merely humoring him?
He fought the urge to reach out and touch her. It was stronger than ever. This futile attempt to deny him by avoiding skin-on-skin contact was driving him mad.
She stepped back, her hands shaking with nervousness. “I gotta go.” Without another word, she shifted into her grizzly form and dashed off into the trees, leaving him standing there unable to move.
Hope. Was this a good thing? Or would renewed contact with her only drive him more insane than he already was?
Chapter Two
Joselyn stared at her phone one week later, flipping it around and around and then gripping it tighter to smooth her thumb over the text she’d received two minutes ago from Alton.
Can you talk?
He would text her like that first without calling. He wasn’t insensitive to the fact that she lived with her parents and would need to ensure she was alone in her room to take a call.
At the moment, she was alone. It was nine thirty at night. She had retreated to her room as she did most nights to read or watch television.
She stared at the message again. She wanted to hear his voice. Desperately. But was it a good idea?
Discussing work would be totally off limits. They’d established that rule when they finished school and returned to Silvertip to join their respective family breweries. But the situation at her job was currently far more stressful than usual, and no way in hell could she bring it up.
Talking to Alton made her feel like a traitor to her pack. While her family was in the beginning stages of developing a fresh new competitive product, leaking even one detail would be devastating.
At the same time, any conversation with Alton in which she intentionally chose not to discuss her pack’s business would also feel unfaithful to him as even a friend. It made her cringe.
She should not be speaking to a member of the competition for any reason. And she sure as shit should not be experiencing such a dry mouth, tight nipples, and wet panties at the prospect of hearing his voice while she lay in her bed under the covers. She moaned out loud as she rubbed her legs together. Fuck.
Thoughts of Alton always made her horny. She used him as her muse every time she masturbated. It was unavoidable. His image crept into her head against her will.
She’d never so much as touched the man, but the effort to avoid doing so took an immense amount of willpower.
What was the worst that could happen? She asked herself the question for the millionth time, knowing full well what the answer was. Sparks could fly, igniting a passion she was powerless to avoid. And Heaven only knew where one touch would lead. Undoubtedly in seconds, they would find themselves naked, their bodies pressed together at every possible point of contact.
Could they flush the need out of their systems and move on with life? She’d asked herself that question a million times also. And the answer was undoubtedly no. She feared he was right and they were meant to be together.
But why would Fate play such a cruel joke on them?
She came from a close-knit family. She loved them. As the youngest of three and the only daughter, she had spent her life doted on by her parents and brothers. Though she rarely heard them speak directly ill of the Tarbens, she couldn’t be sure how they would respond to finding out she had befriended one of them.
The same was not true of the rest of her pack. Her father’s two younger brothers held on to their feud with the Tarbens as if their life depended on it. She’d heard so many ridiculous stories in her lifetime that she had no idea which were valid and which were total fabrications.
The bottom line was that at some point more than one hundred years ago, the two families fought over land and water. Someone from one pack claimed someone from the other pack encroached on their property, and an all-out war began. Every time any member of one family ran into a member of the other pack in town, they would end up in a brawl.
Over time, tensions grew until blood was shed. Joselyn shuddered at the memory of the lore. She hated thinking about it. It gave her a sick feeling in her stomach every time. Until both packs were willing to come to a truce and let the past go, nothing would ever change.
And yet the animosity survived. Relationships between the packs were strictly forbidden. Even friendships. Who knew what would happen if something even more serious resulted from communicating with a Tarben?
Joselyn shuddered, still staring at her phone.
In her soul, she didn’t believe any member of her immediate family would deny her whatever her heart desired, but the rest of her pack was another story. The feud ran deep. Fraternizing with the perceived enemy would cause a battle. Sleeping with one of them would cause a war. And she couldn’t imagine what would happen if she bound herself for life to a Tarben. Half the pack would probably self-combust.
She should not take his call. Pure torture. She should send him a snarky message and nip the idea of renewing her friendship with him in the bud.
It was one thing to hang out with him while they were at U of C. No one was around to discover them. But they were back in Silvertip now. Those days were over. So was that friendship. Why the hell had she agreed to renew communication with him last week?
She thought about her response. Spun the phone around in her hand for a few minutes. She should ignore the text. Tell him no. Tell him to stop stalking her. Tell him to find someone else to badger.
Instead…
Sure. She hit Send on the text before she could chicken out.
Two seconds later, her phone rang. She took a deep breath and answered. “Hey,” she whispered. Her voice came out unintentionally husky. It wasn’t as if her parents could hear her conversation from the other side of the house. She cringed, not wanting to give him the wrong idea.
“Hey, yourself.” He sounded winded. “How was your day?”
“Busy.” She soaked in his voice as if she could store it for later. Every tone was memorized anyway. She had no trouble conjuring his words in her mind anytime she desired. And judging from the pulsing of her clit between her squeezed thighs, tonight would require a vibrator and memories of his soft voice filtering into her mind before she could relax enough to sleep.
“Me too. Why did I ever think two engineering degrees was a reasonable decision? Some days I’m pulled in two directions like a rubber band. It’s possible I might snap.”
She smiled.
For several moments, neither of them spoke. She heard his rapid breathing. It matched her own. Her stomach was in knots. She needed to shore up her libido and keep her feelings to herself. This friendship thing wasn’t going to work. She could already tell. She should never have taken his call.
Work. Vague work conversation was a good thing.
“You think coming home to take the spot of marketing director right out of college has been a walk in the park?” she asked. “Seems like I spend more than half my time proving myself. I have to work twice as long and twice as hard to get my job done. At least half my family doesn’t think I can do the job, nor do they trust me. It’s infuriating.”
“Damn. I’m sorry. At least I don’t have to contend with that. My family respects me. Do you think it’s because you’re a woman?” he asked. She could hear the tentative tone of his voice. He didn’t mean to insinuate they would be right. He was merely inquiring.
She sighed, pressing her thighs together as she closed her eyes. Why did he have to be so damn kind? “Probably. Plus there’s some
grumbling of nepotism.”
He chuckled. “Nepotism? That’s crazy. Everyone working in your brewery is a member of your pack. Same as mine. How could anyone accuse you of benefiting from nepotism?”
He was right, but he didn’t understand the dynamics. “Because my father’s the CEO and pack leader. He gave me this job. Two of my uncles think I spend the day coloring.”
“What?” Alton’s voice rose in anger. “What ignorance. My father is also pack leader and CEO, but no one has accused me of being incompetent.”
“Probably because your degree is in a respectable field with visible results,” she pointed out.
“Marketing is respectable. And do they not realize you worked your ass off in school to also get a business degree?”
A flutter that started in her belly when she answered the phone crawled up to include her heart. Why did he have to be so reasonable and supportive? She needed to end this call before she said something she would regret.
“Jos?” The way he said her name made her breath catch. It always did.
“I’m still here.” She sighed. “I should go.”
“No. Please, Jos. Don’t hang up.”
She bit her lip, fighting a new emotion—sadness. His tone was desperate. This thing… This thing between them had to stop. Why did she keep torturing herself like this?
“Jos?” His pitch was higher this time.
“Yeah.”
“Meet me somewhere.”
“That’s not a good idea. If someone caught us…” It was a bad idea for many reasons far more important than anyone seeing them.
“No one will catch us. I stumbled upon this old rundown cabin. It’s just one room, hidden among the trees. No idea how long it’s been there or who it belongs to, but whoever it is hasn’t been to it for years.”
Was he asking her to meet him in private in the mountains?
“I’m gonna clean it up a bit. I want you to meet me there.”
She groaned. “Alton, that’s a horrible plan, and you know it.”
“What I know is that we’re more than friends. What I know is that I need a bigger piece of you. What I know is that it’s futile to deny the pull and ignore it forever. We’ve played that game. It’s not working. Meet me.”
Grizzly Secret (Arcadian Bears Book 3) Page 2