Slightly Shady

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by Amanda Quick


  “I don’t believe we’ve met,” Anthony said.

  Pomfrey looked him up and down and apparently made the decision to dismiss him out of hand.

  “Pomfrey,” he drawled. “I’m a very good friend of Mrs. Lake.” He turned to give Lavinia a smile that was little more than a sickening leer. “One might even say an intimate friend. We knew each other well in Italy, did we not, Lavinia?”

  Lady Wortham gasped.

  It was past time to take control of the situation, Lavinia thought.

  “You are mistaken, sir,” she said brusquely. “We were not at all well acquainted. You were a friend of Mrs. Underwood, I believe.”

  “She was, indeed, the one who introduced us,” Pomfrey agreed in tones fraught with sensual implications. “For that, I am deeply indebted to her. Have you heard from her since she ran off with the count?”

  “No, I have not.” Lavinia smiled coldly. “As I recall, you are married, sir. How is your lady wife these days?”

  Pomfrey was not put off stride by the reference to his long-suffering spouse. “At a country house party, I believe.” He glanced at Emeline and a wide-eyed Priscilla. “Won’t you introduce me to your lovely companions?”

  “No,” Lavinia said.

  “No,” Anthony said.

  Lady Wortham’s eyelid twitched. “That will not be possible.”

  Anthony took a step forward. “As you can see, the box is crowded, sir. Kindly take your leave at once.”

  Pomfrey looked irritated. “I don’t know who you are, but you are in my way.”

  “And that is where I plan to stay.”

  More heads turned. Lavinia caught the glint of light glancing off lenses at several points around the theater. People were aiming their long-handled lorgnettes and opera glasses in this direction. She doubted anyone could overhear what was being said, but there was no mistaking the air of tension that hung over the Wortham box.

  Lady Wortham’s growing horror was also unmistakable. Lavinia could almost feel her hostess cringing at the realization that a scene was taking place and the lovely Priscilla was center stage.

  “Step aside,” Pomfrey said rather casually to Anthony.

  “No,” Anthony said. His voice was low and steady in a way that was reminiscent of Tobias. “You must depart at once, sir.”

  Pomfrey’s eyes squeezed into an angry glare.

  Lavinia’s stomach knotted. Anthony was taking a stand that, if worse came to worse, could get him challenged to a duel. She had to put a stop to this.

  “Leave, Pomfrey,” she said. “Immediately.”

  “I wouldn’t think of leaving until you honor me with an invitation to pay a call upon you,” Pomfrey said. “Tomorrow afternoon would be convenient. Why don’t you oblige me with your address, madam?”

  “I don’t think tomorrow would be at all convenient for me,” Lavinia said.

  “I can wait until the following day to renew our intimate connection. After all, I have already waited for some months.”

  Lady Wortham made a valiant attempt to take command. “We are expecting another guest, Pomfrey. We really do not have room to allow you to remain here. I’m sure you understand.”

  Pomfrey surveyed Emeline and Priscilla with an unpleasant expression. Then he turned back to Lady Wortham and bowed somewhat unsteadily.

  “I wouldn’t think of leaving without paying my respects to these exquisite young ladies. Indeed, I insist upon an introduction. Who knows? We may meet again at a ball or a soiree. I may wish to request a dance.”

  The thought of having to introduce this well-known debauchee to her daughter caused Lady Wortham to turn an unbecoming shade of puce.

  “I’m afraid that is impossible,” she declared.

  Anthony clenched his fists at his sides. “Leave, sir. Immediately.”

  Pomfrey’s rage surged in his eyes. He turned on Anthony with the air of a vicious hound confronting an irritating pup.

  “Do you know, you are really quite annoying. If you do not get out of my way, I shall be forced to teach you a lesson in manners.”

  Lavinia went cold. This was getting out of hand.

  “Really, Pomfrey, you are the one who is becoming extremely tiresome,” she said. “I cannot imagine why you would wish to make such a nuisance of yourself.”

  She knew immediately that she’d gone too far. Pomfrey was not the most stable of men, she reminded herself. When he drank, he was unpredictable and inclined to violence.

  Rage flashed in his eyes, but the curtain parted before he could respond to Lavinia’s insult. Tobias entered the box.

  “Mrs. Lake is not entirely correct, Pomfrey,” Tobias said casually. “You are not becoming tiresome. You have advanced far beyond tiresome to the state of being a complete bore.”

  Pomfrey started at the unexpected attack. He recovered swiftly but his scowl held astonishment as well as raw fury. “March. What the devil are you doing here? This is none of your affair.”

  “Ah, but it is very much my affair.” Tobias gave him a direct man-to-man look. “I’m sure you take my meaning.”

  Pomfrey was incensed. “What’s this? You and Mrs. Lake? I never heard a word about a connection between the two of you.”

  Tobias gave him a smile that was so cold, Lavinia was surprised Pomfrey did not freeze to the carpet.

  “Well, now you have heard about our connection, have you not?” Tobias said.

  “See here,” Pomfrey blustered. “I knew Mrs. Lake in Italy.”

  “But not very well, obviously, or you would have been aware that she considers you a complete bore. If you are unable to exit this box on your own two feet, I shall be happy to assist you in your departure.”

  “Bloody hell, is that a threat?”

  Tobias considered that briefly and then inclined his head. “Yes, I believe it is.”

  Pomfrey’s face worked. “How dare you, sir?”

  Tobias shrugged. “You’d be amazed at how easy it is to threaten you, Pomfrey. Not difficult at all. I’d say it comes quite naturally.”

  “You will pay for this, March.”

  Tobias smiled. “I believe I can afford the price.”

  Pomfrey turned red. His hands bunched. Lavinia was suddenly terrified that he was about to issue a formal challenge.

  “No.” She was halfway out of her chair now. “No, wait. Pomfrey, you must not do such a thing. I will not permit it.”

  But Pomfrey was not paying any attention to her. He was intent only on Tobias. Instead of making her worst fears come true with an offer of pistols at dawn, he stunned everyone by launching a sudden, powerful blow aimed at Tobias’s midsection.

  Tobias must have been expecting the swing because he stepped back, barely avoiding Pomfrey’s fist. The sudden movement affected his balance, however. Lavinia saw his left leg falter. He seized the edge of one velvet curtain for support, but the heavy drapery proved unable to withstand his full weight. It tore free of several of the rings that secured it to the rod and sagged.

  Tobias staggered back against the wall.

  Priscilla uttered a little shriek. Emeline leaped to her feet. Anthony swore softly and put himself in front of the two young ladies in a futile attempt to shield them from the view of masculine violence.

  Tobias slid down toward the floor just as Pomfrey’s fist crashed into the wall with a jarring thud. Pomfrey uttered a muffled groan of pain and cradled his injured hand in his palm.

  Lavinia heard a strange roaring noise. It took her a few seconds to realize that the crowd was cheering and applauding the spectacle. Judging from their shouts of encouragement, they seemed to find this better entertainment than anything seen onstage this evening, she thought.

  She heard a choked groan followed by a heavy thump. When she glanced to the side, she saw that Lady Wortham had fallen out of her chair and was lying flat on her back on the floor.

  “Mama.” Priscilla hurried toward her. “Oh dear, I do hope you remembered to bring your vinaigrette.”

&n
bsp; “My reticule,” Lady Wortham gasped. “Hurry.”

  Tobias grabbed the railing and used it to haul himself to his feet. “Perhaps we should finish this in a more appropriate place, Pomfrey. The alley outside would do nicely.”

  Pomfrey stood blinking at Tobias. He seemed to become aware of the wildly screaming crowd. The rage in his eyes metamorphosed into a dazed expression. Several men in the pit yelled up at him, urging him to strike another blow.

  Rage did battle with humiliation as it began to dawn on Pomfrey that he was involved in a public spectacle.

  In the end, the forces of humiliation won.

  “We will settle this another time, March.”

  Pomfrey sucked in a shuddering breath, then whirled and stumbled out of the box.

  The crowd voiced its disappointment with a chorus of boos and hisses.

  On the floor, Lady Wortham groaned again.

  “Mama?” Priscilla waved the vinaigrette beneath her mother’s nose. “Are you all right?”

  “Never so humiliated in my life,” Lady Wortham moaned. “We won’t be able to go out in public for the rest of the Season. Mrs. Lake has utterly destroyed us.”

  “Oh dear,” Lavinia said.

  It was all his fault, Tobias thought. Again.

  A funereal silence filled the hackney. Anthony and Emeline sat opposite Tobias and Lavinia. No one had said a word since they had left the theater. From time to time, everyone looked at Lavinia and then looked away again, helpless to find words of comfort.

  She sat stiffly on the seat, head averted, and stared out the window into the night. Tobias knew she blamed him for everything.

  He forced himself to do the manly thing.

  “I apologize for ruining your plans for the evening, Lavinia.”

  She made a small, inarticulate sound and jerked a hankie out of her reticule. He stared, stunned, as she dabbed at her eyes with the lacy square.

  “Bloody hell, Lavinia, are you crying?”

  She made another odd noise and buried her face in the hankie.

  “Now see what you’ve done,” Anthony said. He leaned forward. “Mrs. Lake, Tobias and I cannot tell you how much we regret what happened tonight. I swear, we never intended to cause you such distress.”

  Lavinia hunched her shoulders. A shudder went through her. She did not raise her face from the hankie.

  “Pomfrey is a perfectly dreadful man, Lavinia,” Emeline said gently. “You know that better than most. It was unfortunate he chose to show up tonight, but given that he did make a pest of himself, I really do not know what else Mr. March and Anthony could have done.”

  Mutely, Lavinia shook her head.

  “I know you had hopes of attracting some attention in my direction this evening,” Emeline added.

  “If nothing else, we were successful in that regard,” Tobias said dryly.

  Lavinia sniffed loudly into the hankie.

  Anthony glared at him. “This is hardly an appropriate time to indulge yourself in your decidedly odd notion of humor. Mrs. Lake believes she is confronting nothing less than an unmitigated disaster, and not without reason. I think it is safe to say the scene in Lady Wortham’s box tonight will be the main topic of conversation over every cup of tea served tomorrow. To say nothing of the gossip in the clubs.”

  “Sorry,” Tobias muttered. He could not think of anything else to say. He had seen Lavinia in a variety of moods, but there was a resiliency in her that he realized he had begun to take for granted. This was the first time he had seen her cry. He would never have imagined that she would succumb to a bout of tears simply because of a social fiasco. He was at a loss, far out of his depth, and he knew it.

  “Well, it certainly isn’t a disaster so far as I’m concerned,” Emeline said bracingly.

  Lavinia mumbled something incomprehensible.

  Emeline sighed. “I know you worked hard to encourage Lady Wortham to invite me to the theater tonight, and you did sacrifice the Apollo for these lovely gowns. I regret that events did not transpire in quite the way you had anticipated. Nevertheless, I did tell you I was not particularly keen to be put on display.”

  “Mumph,” Lavinia said into the hankie.

  “It wasn’t Mr. March’s fault that Pomfrey made an ass of himself,” Emeline continued. “Indeed, it is not fair for you to blame him or Anthony for what occurred.”

  “Please don’t cry, Mrs. Lake,” Anthony said. “I’m sure the gossip will die down very quickly. It is not as though Lady Wortham occupies a particularly elevated position in the Polite World. The entire affair will soon be forgotten.”

  “We are m-m-most certainly ruined, just as Lady Wortham said,” Lavinia mumbled into the hankie. “That cannot be h-he-helped. I doubt if a single eligible gentleman will call on Emeline tomorrow. But what’s done is done.”

  “Tears will do no good,” Emeline said worriedly. “Really, it is not like you to weep over this sort of thing.”

  “Her nerves have been under a great deal of strain lately,” Anthony reminded them all.

  “Don’t cry, Lavinia,” Tobias muttered. “You are affecting the nerves of everyone present.”

  “I fear I cannot help myself.” Lavinia slowly raised her head to reveal damp eyes. “Th-the expression on Lady Wortham’s face. I vow I have never seen anything so entertaining in my entire life.”

  She collapsed into the corner of the seat, convulsed by another fit of laughter.

  They all stared at her.

  Emeline’s mouth curved at the corner. Anthony started to grin.

  In the next moment they were all laughing uproariously.

  Something deep inside Tobias relaxed. He no longer felt as if he were being driven to a funeral.

  “There you are, March.” Crackenburne lowered his newspaper and peered at Tobias over the tops of his spectacles. “I heard you were responsible for a very entertaining diversion at the theater last night.”

  Tobias lowered himself into a neighboring chair. “Wild rumors and unsubstantiated gossip.”

  Crackenburne snorted. “You won’t be able to make that version of events float for long. There was an entire theater full of witnesses. There are some who believe Pomfrey will call you out.”

  “Why should he do that? He was clearly the victor in the match.”

  “So I was told.” Crackenburne looked thoughtful. “How did that come about?”

  “The man has taken instructions in boxing from the great Jackson himself. I never stood a chance.”

  “Humph.” Crackenburne’s bushy brows came together over the bridge of his impressive nose. “Make light of the matter if you will, but watch your back around Pomfrey. He has a reputation for becoming violent when he is in his cups.”

  “I thank you for your concern, but I don’t believe I am in danger of being called out by Pomfrey.”

  “I agree. I’m not worried that he will invite you to a dawn appointment. Pomfrey would work up the nerve to issue a challenge only if he were inebriated. Even if he managed that, I’m quite certain he would immediately retract the invitation as soon as the effects of the drink wore off. At heart he is not only a fool, he is a coward.”

  Tobias shrugged and reached for his coffee. “Then what is it that concerns you?”

  “I would not put it past him to find some underhanded means of avenging himself on you.” Crackenburne raised his paper in front of his face again. “I advise you not to take long walks alone at night for a while—and do try to stay out of dark alleys.”

  fourteen

  Lavinia pulled the voluminous cap low over her eyes and arranged the woolen scarf so that it veiled her features. The apron she wore over the much-mended gown was the one Mrs. Chilton always used when she scrubbed the floors. Thick stockings and sturdy shoes completed the disguise.

  She looked at the woman seated on a stool near the hearth, a woman she knew only as Peg.

  “You’re certain Mr. Huggett is away for the afternoon?” Lavinia asked.

  “Aye.” P
eg munched a meat pie. “Huggett takes his treatments every Thursday. The only one who’ll be there is young Gordy. No need to fret about him. He’ll be out front sellin’ tickets, assumin’ he’s not entertainin’ his girl in one of the back rooms.”

  “What treatments does Mr. Huggett take?”

  Peg rolled her eyes. “Goes to one of them quacks what use animal magnetism to ease aching joints and such.”

  “Mesmerism.”

  “Aye. Huggett’s afflicted with rheumatism.”

  “I see.” Lavinia hoisted the bucket of gray water. “Well, then, I’ll be off.” She paused, turning slowly on her heel. “Will I do, Peg?”

  “Yer a sight, ye are.” Peg picked up another meat pie and squinted at Lavinia with rheumy eyes. “If I didn’t know ye was a fine lady, I’d be worrying that ye was after takin’ my place.”

  “Never fear, I don’t want your post.” Lavinia gripped the handle of the dirty mop. “As I told you, my only intention is to win the wager I made with my friend.”

  Peg gave her a knowing look. “A lot of the blunt at stake, eh?”

  “Enough to make it worth my while to pay you to let me carry out this masquerade.” She started up the steps that led from Peg’s tiny room to the lane. “I’ll return your things within the hour.”

  “Take yer time.” Peg settled back on her stool and stretched out her swollen ankles. “Ye ain’t the first to want to borrow me bucket and mop for an hour or two, although yer the first to say she only wanted me things in order to win a wager.”

  Lavinia halted on the top step and turned quickly. “Someone else asked to take your place?”

  “Aye.” Peg gave a phlegmy chuckle. “I’ve got a regular arrangement with a couple of ambitious girls. I’ll let you in on a little secret. Old Peg has made more renting out that bucket and mop and those keys than she’s ever received in wages from that closefisted Huggett and that’s a fact. How d’ye think I managed to obtain me own little room?”

  “I don’t understand. Why would someone pay you to let her scrub floors in your place?”

  Peg winked broadly. “Some of the gentlemen customers get downright frisky when they tour the exhibits in that special gallery at the top of the stairs. The displays generally put ’em in the mood for a bit o’ sport, and if there’s a willin’ lass about, well, they’re happy to give her a few coins to let them lubricate her, if ye know what I mean.”

 

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