With gloved hands, Leini rubbed her face. “It wasn’t this cold when we left the cemetery. I’m freezing. How about you?”
“It’s grown quite nippy.”
“There’s a café on the corner there.” She pointed. “Let’s stop, have something hot to drink, maybe taste one of their Wienerbrot that just melts in your mouth.”
The café was cozy with a black stove off to one corner crackling with burning logs.
Next to Leini on the settee by the window, Bill sipped his coffee and sampled the flaky Wienerbrot, the size of the platter, oozing with raspberry jam and vanilla crème. “You’re right; this is delicious.” Licking a glob of jam from his lower lip, he wiped fingers on a napkin.
* * *
Most important of all, Leini wanted Bill to meet Grandma Britta. Together with Mira and Papi, they spent an afternoon with her. When they were comfortably seated in Grandma Britta’s living room, coffee poured, home-baked plum tartlets served, Leini excused herself and left Papi and Mira to keep Bill company for a few minutes while she follow Grandma Britta into the kitchen. She grabbed her by the arm, excitement like a hum inside.
“You like him, don’t you?”
Grandma Britta smiled. “I’ve just met him, my dove. He seems very nice. I see love in the way he looks at you. He takes his eyes off you only to be polite when talking to someone else.” Grandma gave Leini one of her penetrating looks that saw everything. “What about you? Is he the man of your dreams?”
Leini grinned. “I don’t know that I’ve had ‘a man of my dreams.’ I love Bill, Grandma Britta. I truly love him.”
They were constantly accompanied by Papi, Mira or Samy, separate or all three together. Bill seemed to have a good time, taking everything in its stride. With so many people around them all the time, Leini’s frustration was like a bomb looking for a place to explode. Very much in love, she wanted time alone with Bill. The way they keep watching me, I’d swear I was holy. Bill gazed at everything through gray eyes soft as velvet.
Bill accompanied Papi into his study, closing the door behind them. In the living room, Leini sat with legs folded under her, one of her hands busy twining a strand of hair. She kept winding and unwinding the lock of hair around fore and middle fingers, pulled at it until she winced from the burning pain in her scalp. She wondered where Mira was. Right now she would have welcomed her company rather than be on her own. Her hands were damp from nervous perspiration. What if Papi says “no” to us marrying? She sighed. Would Bill marry her against Papi’s will? Would she? And knew the answer immediately as the question arose in her mind. Much as she loved Papi, would be loath to hurt him, She loved Bill; her life was with him.
She jumped as the door to Papi’s study opened. The two men entered the living room together. Leini studied each of them. Papi’s face revealed nothing; he looked the same as always, his face maybe a bit flushed. As she gazed at him, Bill smiled and winked. He’s always winking at me. What’s the wink supposed to mean? This is all so medieval; only in my family does a boy ask a girl’s father for “her hand.”
Leini stood. Unable to curb her curiosity, knowing it was inappropriate to ask, she did so anyway. “What have you two been talking about?”
Papi gave her a stern look. “I’ll tell you later. Dinner’s ready, so let’s eat.” And he marched ahead to the dining room, his back a little straighter than usual.
Bill had second helpings of roast beef. “Wonderful dinner,” he said to Mira, who beamed. She seemed to glow whenever he was near.
Samy, planning on studying law, quizzed Bill about the Swiss justice system. None too familiar with the laws, she listened to him, somewhat surprised to find Samy wrapped up in his explanations, his eyes intent on Bill, and his questions seemed intelligent to her.
Dinner over, Leini helped Tatta clear the table. When she made to dry the dishes, Mira took the towel from her. “Go keep Bill company.”
Instead of going straight to the living room, Leini stopped in the powder room to run cold water over her trembling hands. She filled a goblet with water, took a gulp to swirl it around in her mouth to relieve the dryness. This is agony. I wish Bill had just made love to me. We’d live together for a while, then get married. Without a doubt, this kind of behavior was out of the question, unless she wanted to hurt her family.
As Leini entered the living room, she found Bill standing by the French windows, hands stuck in the pockets of his slacks, staring into the night. Leini wanted to ask him to come to her room for more privacy, but refrained from deference to Mira and Papi; a tête-à-tête in her room wouldn’t sit well with them. Sighing in resignation, Leini stood next to Bill to slip an arm under his. He turned to face her, hands cupping her shoulders. He looked so serious she held her breath.
“Leini Bauman, will you marry me?”
Tears pooled in her eyes. A sob escaped her. He’s already asked me. I’ve already answered “yes.” Having Papi’s blessing, this is the official proposal.
“Yes, Bill Gardet. Yes, I will.”
Chapter 29
Helsinki, Christmas 1957
From a pocket in his slacks, Bill brought a midnight-blue velvet box. Opening it, he removed a ring and slipped it on the third finger of Leini’s left hand. Unable to stop looking at him, hardly able to breathe, she found it difficult to believe this was happening to her, wondering how such overwhelming happiness was possible.
“It’s a perfect fit,” he said and kissed her finger. “Do you like it?”
Leini lowered her eyes to look at the ring. Breath caught in her throat. Through tears, she gazed at the diamond-studded eternity band. Arms around his neck, she pressed her cheek against his.
“Oh Bill, it’s beautiful. I’ll always wear it.”
“I’ll kiss you,” he said, “if you promise not to cry anymore today.” Cupping her face in his warm hands, he kissed her forehead, closed eyelids, a soft, tender kiss on her lips. “I love you, Leini chérie.”
Sobbing and laughing, she responded to his kisses. “I love you, Bill.”
A commotion at the door made them draw apart. Mira came carrying a tray with glasses. Papi held a champagne bottle in a cooler, Samy close behind them. Papi handed them filled flutes and raised his in a toast.
“To Leini and Bill.” His voice broke. He kept blinking his eyes. “I wish you both all the happiness your hearts can hold.”
Mira raised her glass to them. “Congratulations.” After she drained her flute, she placed the glass on the table. “May I see your ring?” Taking Leini’s hand in hers, she brought it close the better to see. “Very beautiful.”
“Leini.” Voice raspy, Papi cleared his throat. “I’ve talked to Bill; I want to be clear about this. Both Mira and I are happy for you. It’s good and proper that you two get engaged, but you’re too young to get married. Bill agrees with me.”
Catching Bill’s eye, Leini mouthed “Traitor!” and saw him wink at her again.
At their interchange Papi interrupted, “Are you listening to me, Leini?”
“Yes, Papi.” Feeling like a naughty little girl.
“I want you to finish your studies. You’ll be going on twenty-one then, a good age to get married. What do you say?”
By then my teeth will be in a jar. “If I study very hard, take extra courses, I’ll get my degree next fall. I’ll be twenty in November, so we can be married before Christmas next year. Right, Papi?”
“Yes, if you’re prepared to work hard and have your degree next fall. You should be able to support yourself. You never know what life has in store.”
That she would work was a given. In Finland, most women were employed. The only stay-at-home mom Leini knew was Paula’s mother, Berit.
After her parents left the living room, Bill held her close for a long time, Leini afloat on a cloud of happiness. Home. When I’m with Bill, I know I’ve come home. With arms around each other they sauntered along the corridor to her suite. By the door he held her close, his kiss long and demandi
ng.
He removed his arms. “Go now, while I can let you.”
About to open the door, she turned to gaze at him from under her brow, a faint smile painting her lips.
“Now that we’re engaged, will you make love to me?”
With a hand under her chin, he raised her head until their eyes met. “Right now? Here in your parents’ home?”
“Well, no. But…”
With the palm of his hand against the small of her back, he gently pushed her inside. “Good night, Leini, sweetheart.”
Alone in her room, Leini sank onto the couch standing in an oasis of light from the wall lamps, the rest of the room semi-dark. She leaned against the armrest, legs stretched on the settee. Moving her hand this way and that, she admired the stones’ sparkle as the light played on them. Her entire being filled with joy so intense she caught her breath, heart drumming fast. This ring joined her to Bill; it was a stronger bond than any marriage vows. At the knock on the door, she brushed at tears of happiness and gratitude; swallowed before she answered.
“Yes, come in.” Thinking it was Papi, come to wish her good night. And swung to a sitting position, surprised to see Samy, a rare visitor, as he usually avoided her. With a couple of strides he crossed the floor. His teeth flashed in a brief smile before he sat next to her.
“I wanted to congratulate you on your engagement.” His voice trailed as he stared into the room as if he was looking for the words he wanted to say in the half-light. Turning to her, he cupped her shoulder. “I think Bill is a great guy, lucky to have you.” He stood, leaned close and, much to her surprise, planted a smacking kiss on her cheek. “I wish you both lots of luck.”
Before she could react, he smiled again, waved and closed the door behind him.
After Samy left, she sat staring at the door for a long moment. While she still lived at home, they rarely spent time together, hardly exchanged more than a few words. It still rankled somewhat that he’d chosen to be absent when she returned from Vienna after corrective surgery on her eye. Tonight he came to see her for an instant so brief he was gone before she could say a word, but her pleasure in his good-luck wishes warmed her.
Chapter 30
Helsinki and Geneva, Fall 1958
When she received her degree in psychology, it was something of a let-down to Leini, nothing like graduation from college. After working hard to obtain her degree in record short time, she figured it should be more than just an announcement on the university’s bulletin board that she passed the exams with a high average and the paper that confirmed the fact sent to her by mail. In the balance, joy jumped inside that the pursuit of her goal with single-mindedness of purpose paid off. She had satisfied Papi’s condition to graduate before she and Bill got married.
In the mid-morning hours, Leini lolled in the beanbag, glancing at her watch every few minutes. At eleven sharp, she made her way to the ground floor to check the mailbox. Sorting through a letter to Vickie and some junk mail, her shoulders sagged that the letter she awaited with growing impatience wasn’t there.
But, hold it, wait a minute. What’s this? A linen-textured envelope addressed to her with the company logo and name embossed in the corner escaped her on first look. She took the stairs two steps at a time, heart palpitating so fast she was panting as she reached the apartment and slumped in the beanbag, the envelope like burning cinders as she turned it this way and that. I have to open it. But what if Schurr & Co has turned down my application? And what if they’ve accepted me!
With eyes closed, she ripped open the creamy envelope, stared inside at the single sheet of paper as if she could divine its message. After she pulled out the letter and smoothed it against her thigh, she threw a furtive look at the text. She blinked. And blinked again, breath rasping in her throat. Ohmegod! Jumping from the beanbag, she hopped and twirled and skipped on her way to the phone and dialed with shaking fingers. Misdialed the first time. Dialed again and danced from one foot to the other while the phone rang. Please, Bill, be at your desk; not in court, not out to lunch already. When he answered on the third ring, she took a deep inhalation, throat so dry she had to swallow a few times to make her voice carry.
“Can you imagine! I just received the letter; I got the job! Oh, Bill, isn’t it wonderful?”
“You sent several applications, but you sound so excited, this must be the one you wanted more than any other. Is it?”
“Yes, yes, darling. As of the first of the year, I’ll work as alcohol counselor with Schurr & Company.”
“Fantastic! Congratulations. I’m very happy for you.”
Letter in hand, she kept staring at the few lines of acceptance. “Thanks, darling.” Brow creased, she took a deep inhalation as excitement whooshed inside. “Until I knew there was an opening as alcohol counselor I didn’t know I wanted to work as one. I really wanted this job; it’s a great opportunity to make a difference for people who can’t stop drinking.” People like Mira.
When Leini phoned Papi in the evening to tell him about her new job, he was every bit as pleased as she’d hoped.
“Wonderful news, Leini girl. You’ve worked hard to get your diploma and now you’ve landed a good job. Congratulations.”
“Thank you, Papi. I knew you’d be pleased.”
“Pleased doesn’t begin to cover it. I’m very proud of you. Mira, too, when I tell her.”
Huh? Would it matter to Mira one way or the other?
As she replaced the receiver in the cradle, Leini chuckled to herself, happiness bubbling.
* * *
As the plane was about to land at Vantaa airport, the forest beneath was like an explosion of yellows, copper, ochre, rust and purple, so sumptuous Leini’s breath caught.
Clasping her hand, Bill pointed. “This is magnificent. I’ve seen pictures of changing colors, but they don’t do justice to this. It’s spectacular.”
“The colors change in Switzerland, too, but they’re not quite so rich. Here the first frost comes early, before the trees shed their leaves, that’s why you see this explosion of colors. “
They arrived three weeks before the nuptials, to a flurry of activities, invitations and details. Leini was relieved to count on Mira’s competent planning, knowing that she got things done fast and managed to make people see it her way.
That night after dinner, hand in hand with Bill, Leini followed her parents and Samy into the living room. When the second cup of coffee was poured, Papi rose, holding a small packet wrapped in white paper held together with a seal. Turning to Bill, he handed him the parcel.
“To my future son-in-law.”
Rising from the couch, Bill faced Papi. He took the packet, stared at it as he turned it in his hands as if he was afraid to open it.
Observing them, Leini wondered about the packet.
Bill tore off the wrapping to reveal a flat square box in black satin.
Smiling, Papi pointed. “Open it, Bill.”
Leini watched him raise the lid, its hinges creaking slightly. He brought the box closer to stare inside.
Leini’s “Oh!” was a mere whisper as he removed a round object on a gold chain.
Bill looked at them all in turn, surprise etching furrows between his brows. “It’s a watch. A pocket watch.”
“That it is.” Papi gave him an affectionate pat on an upper arm. “It belonged to my father. Grandma Britta gave it to me after Grandpa—my father—died.” He stopped to inhale, eyes shiny.
“I…we all think it’s appropriate Leini’s future husband should have it.” He held his hand to Leini, drawing her close. “Leini will tell you all the fond memories attached to this watch.”
Overcome by memories, Leini could only stare at the watch. With her mind’s eye she saw Grandpa pull the watch from his vest pocket. Taking the watch from Bill’s hand, she secured the chain in the buttonhole of his vest and slipped the watch in the small pocket.
“There. This is the way Grandpa used to wear it. He would entertain me for hours on
end, snapping the lid open against my nose. Then he’d tickle me under the chin, and we’d both laugh out loud. Again and again.” Tears blurred her eyes.
Holding her by the shoulders, Bill kissed her cheek before he turned to take Papi’s hand between both his own. “Thank you, sir. This is an honor. I’ll be proud to wear it.” He brushed his lips against Mira’s cheek. “This means a lot to me—I was so young when I lost my parents. You make me feel I belong, something I’ve missed very much.”
“Welcome to the family, Bill.” Papi’s voice was hoarse, as if something fuzzy clogged his throat.
Mira reached to hug Bill and planted a resounding smack on each cheek. “Welcome, my son-in-law.”
Incredulous, Leini wondered what magic Bill weaved to so have conquered Mira, who seldom took to people. I’m not so sure I like her gushing over him. Makes me wonder what she’s up to. Or maybe she really likes him, and I’m too suspicious.
For a brief instant, Mira brushed her lips against Leini’s cheek. “Congratulations.”
She was about to kiss her back when Mira’s next comment made her recoil from surprise and hurt.
“I don’t know what good you’ve done in life to deserve such a wonderful man.”
Leini closed her eyes, wishing she were miles from here, somewhere safe with Bill.
* * *
On her wedding day, Leini stood in front of the mirror in lacy white underwear and sheer stockings. At a soft knock on the door, she called, “Yes? Who is it?”
“Grandma Britta. May I come in?”
With a few long strides, Leini opened the door and hugged her. “I didn’t expect to see you before the ceremony, but I’m glad you’re here.”
Grandma Britta fumbled with something in her sequin-studded evening purse to bring out a square flat jewelry box. “Your grandpa gave this to me when we were first married. It was his morning gift; made me feel I was his woman.” She sighed. “It no longer exists, the morning gift, precious as the custom was. I don’t have a daughter, so it’s natural you should have this.” She opened the box, holding it so Leini could see the bean-shaped diamond pendant on a platinum chain Grandma Britta used wear for special occasions. Gasping, Leini stared. Her eyes swam with tears that Grandma Britta would give her this lovely piece.
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