“You will not be happy.”
Maddy expelled a breath sharply. “Truly? Perhaps you are right. As you once suggested, marriage might be best for me. There is a wealthy man in the village who has expressed an interest. If I marry him, I can live in a fine house and have servants to do all the work. And I’ll have children of my own to mind. God knows I’ve enough experience caring for other people’s.” Her throat thickened, and she felt on the verge of tears.
By God’s light, why did I say such a ridiculous thing? No doubt Nicholas would be the first to bestow his good wishes.
Neither one spoke again.
Their route took them past property owned by the Dodds. Someday, after her own wounds were healed, Maddy would find the courage to visit them and ask their forgiveness for involving Ann in Leonard Dacre’s raid. At present, they would still be grieving, and they would not welcome her overtures. One day soon she would find Ann’s grave in the churchyard and lay some flowers on it.
Maddy felt a fullness in her chest. Weeping would relieve it, but she refused to cry in front of Nicholas. She had been trying to avoid self-pity, attempting to put the horrors of her final day at Lanercost behind her. And now she must put all hopes of a future with Nicholas behind her as well. She refused to speculate on what he wanted to say to her. Probably a final farewell.
When they arrived at an area of the Eden popular with anglers, Nicholas dismounted and helped her down, then hobbled the horse. Squirrels chittered in the branches above, and she gazed at the river. The water pooled here, forming a pond, and fish liked to hide in its depths.
“Maddy.” He was looking at her most intently. “There are a few things I neglected to tell you.”
“Oh?”
“I sent William Cecil a letter and recommended mercy for Lady Dacre. As the queen’s agent closest to the matter, I believe they will give strong weight to my opinion.”
Maddy smiled. “Then I am in your debt.” She hesitated a moment before saying, “I’m surprised that you placed so much trust in my judgment.”
He reached out for her hand. “It was you who lost all faith in me, and for good reason.”
“You are mistaken. I never lost faith in you.” Perhaps she should let go of his hand, but she could not.
“Did you mean it, about wedding that fellow in the village?”
“Should I?”
“Do you want him?” He stepped closer to her. “Has he kissed you like this?” Nicholas crushed her against his chest, wrapped his arms around her, and placed his lips upon hers in kiss full of yearning and desire. She trembled with feelings pent up for too long.
He drew back and studied her, a bit of desperation in his eyes. “My dearest Maddy. Marry me, sweeting. Marry me. I love you, more than my own life.” He paused to catch his breath. “You said you would tend gardens and look after your children. Let it be our gardens, and most definitely our children. We will have as many of both as you like.” He drew back and looked at her, smiling, hope glowing in his eyes. “Five or ten, if that will make you happy.”
“Truly? I don’t think I’ll need that many.”
He threw back his head and laughed, a joyous sound. “Come. Before you answer, sit here with me for a moment.” He tugged her down to the riverbank. “Do you think you can ever forgive me for not being truthful? At first, my cursed duty to the queen stopped me. But when I knew I loved you, I should have been honest with you. I feared if I told you about the pardons, I would lose you. I wanted you to be free, and yet I wanted to hold you close. Can you understand that?”
She couldn’t speak. Not yet.
“About your brother. When I learned he was alive, I should have informed you immediately. My father was against it, and since telling you would have meant revealing everything Robert had done, I knew it would hurt you. How could you live with it? Especially while staying at Lanercost? I convinced myself you were better off not knowing. It was wrong of me and causes me great shame and sorrow to think of it.”
When still she didn’t speak, Nicholas said, “I understand if I am too late. If begging your forgiveness comes too late.”
Maddy shook her head, vehemently. “Oh, Nicholas, I forgave you long ago.”
A smile tugged at his mouth. “After you took the shot at Dacre to save me, I allowed myself to hope that might be the case.”
“I had a great deal of time to think when I was locked up in that room and feared I might die. I was desperate to see you, to tell you I forgave you a thousand times over.”
“Jesu, Maddy, I’ve been waiting so long to hear you say it.”
With that, he pulled her down, until they were lying side by side. For a time, they were consumed by their ardor and fierce desire for each other, and the world simply drifted away. Nicholas loosened her bodice enough to remove it, and then pushed down the straps of her kirtle and smock to free her breasts. “You are so beautiful, my Maddy.” He caressed her, teased her, until she thought she might die of pleasure.
Nicholas unfastened his doublet and removed it, then tugged his shirt off. Holding her against his bare chest with one hand, he raised her skirts with the other. He slid a hand upward until he reached her core. Maddy had been waiting for this, hungry for his touch, needing it more than she’d known. His familiar, clean scent and the feel of his skin drove her to the edge. He was her light and her dark, her beginning and end. All she was now and all she would become.
And then he entered her and they began to move together, locked in their tight embrace. Nothing could separate them now. The intensity of her release consumed her, and she buried her face in his neck until Nicholas found his release deep within her.
After a while, when they lay peacefully together, Nicholas said, “You are the bravest lass I’ve ever known.”
Maddy laughed. “Or the stupidest.”
“Never.” They both sat up, and he helped her straighten her clothing while relating more news. “I’ve told my father that I will no longer work for him or the queen. I’ve had my fill of it. Nearly losing you was the last straw.”
“I’m glad, for your sake. But what will you do? Where will you and Daniel live?”
“My father has given me the house. To my great surprise, he said I deserved it because I am raising Daniel. All the money his country estate earns is to be mine as well. He has removed to London, to serve the queen there.”
“We will have our own home,” Maddy said.
“Ah, then your answer is yes?”
She laughed. “I have missed you so, and Daniel, too.”
“And we have been miserable without you.”
Tears welled in her eyes, and she made no effort to stop them. “I love Daniel, Nicholas. How could I not?”
“And do you love his uncle then, too, lass?” He looked as though he were not quite certain of the answer.
“How could you doubt it?” Maddy asked, putting him from his misery. “Why did your father have such a change of heart?”
“He received a reward from the queen for thwarting the plot to capture Mary and arresting the conspirators. A grant of land and money. Knowing my father as you do, you must be aware he would not give up his home without the promise of something grander.”
“But he could have had both. Kept the land in Brampton and added the gift from the queen.” Maddy did not say it, but in the future, she wouldn’t put it past Francis Ryder to once again draw his son into his intrigues. To use this gift to make Nicholas feel he owed him something in return.
“Since the glory and rewards should by rights go to you and me, I believe he felt this was my due. I did not expect it, and I’m overjoyed that we’re to have our own home. Humble though it is, it’s a step up from a tenant’s cottage,” he said, a smile in his voice.
Somewhere, the queen’s enemies schemed against her. Her own machinations continued, abetted by her councilors and countless other men in her thrall. It was an endless cycle, and Maddy thanked God they would no longer be part of it.
Instead, t
hey lay on the riverbank wrapped in each other’s arms, the water lulling them and a fresh May breeze grazing their skin. Maddy could have remained there forever, but a pressing matter beckoned. Nicholas drew her up beside him and they rode home together, so that he might ask Robert for her hand.
Epilogue
Everywhere Maddy turned, there were roses. White, pink, yellow, even orange. And the striped Rosa mundi, the one she thought of as their rose. Hers and Nicholas’s. In the year since they’d wed, her husband had undertaken the painstaking work of importing and cultivating roses to sell. Business wasn’t yet thriving, but it was growing. Nicholas was content. He maintained his correspondence with other importers and growers, and it occupied much of his time.
Maddy got to her feet, no easy task these days, and placed her knife in the basket she carried over her arm. It was filled with roses for the house. Rubbing her back to ease the pressure, she glanced up. Nicholas was striding toward her. Even from this distance, she could see his furrowed brow. He worried about her. The child was due any day, and he was jumpy as a cricket.
She smiled, and by the time he reached her, he was smiling, too. “You are well, sweetheart? Our daughter isn’t ready to greet the world?”
“I’m fine, Nicholas. And I don’t think the babe will arrive today.” Daniel, her husband said, was like a son to him, and why wouldn’t he wish for a girl, who would be just like her mother? Maddy had ceased pointing out that he may not get what he wanted.
“Is Daniel coming?” The boy had developed a keen interest in the rose bushes and sometimes fussed over them more than his uncle. “We should have our meal before your visitor arrives,” Maddy said. Nicholas took the basket from her, and they started for the house, the little beagle, Useless, prancing after them.
As she had predicted, her husband continued to be drawn into the queen’s work. Whenever mischief was suspected in the north, his father called upon him to investigate, since he himself was now in London. Most of the time, it amounted to nothing much and could be easily dispatched. Only occasionally did the work demand more time and attention. Maddy enjoyed assisting her husband by reading documents, studying maps, and offering her counsel. Nicholas depended on her advice, and she admitted to feeling a degree of pride in that. What would happen if an assignment from Francis Ryder involved greater risk and danger, she could not say. Thus far, that had not happened. But she was confident she and Nicholas would decide together whether to take on weightier matters.
Daniel skipped alongside her and grabbed her hand. The three of them ambled toward the house together. In these moments, so ordinary and familiar, Maddy felt deep joy and contentment. After the turmoil of the previous year, she had never expected to be so happy.
Nicholas leaned down and whispered in her ear. “I love you, sweeting.”
Yes, always.
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Acknowledgments
I am most grateful to my editor, Erin Molta, for her commitment to each book she edits. In all matters, both large and small, she never misses a thing. And thanks also to the Entangled Publishing team of behind-the-scenes professionals who do so much to bring each book into the world.
Thanks also to my agent, Jill Marsal, who believed in this story from the first. She is such a pleasure to work with!
Ceil Boyles, Meridee Cecil, Claudia McAdam, and Lisa Brown Roberts critiqued an early version of Mistress Spy. Many thanks to them for their insights and suggestions.
And always, a special thank you to my husband, Jim, for, well, everything.
About the Author
Pamela Mingle found her third career as a writer after many years as a teacher and reference librarian. Her love of historical romance was nurtured by Jane Austen, and her novels have all been set either in the Regency or Tudor periods. Many long walks in England, Scotland, and Wales have given her a strong sense of place around which to build her stories. She is the author of Kissing Shakespeare, The Pursuit of Mary Bennet, A False Proposal, and A Lady’s Deception.
Learn more about Pam and sign up for her newsletter at www.PamMingle.com. She enjoys hearing from readers and would love to connect with you on social media.
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A False Proposal
A Lady’s Deception
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