Consumed By You

by Alicia Marino

“Yes,” I lie again. “Always.”

  ***

  I kiss Kevin’s cheek and stand up when I spot the familiar limo outside.

  “Thank you so much, Kev. You’re awesome.”

  “Of course, baby.”

  “Feel free to stay as long as you like. There’s soda and leftovers in the fridge. No wine though, sorry.”

  I drank all of it Post-Benjamin.

  “Anything to stay away from my roommate. You know, we should move in together! I’m dying to get out of that fucking apartment.”

  “You’d hate living with me.” I laugh, grabbing my clutch. “I read day and night.”

  “At least you don’t party. I swear, Wesley gets smashed every damn night.” He rolls his eyes and shoos me. “What are you still doing here? He’s waiting. Go on!”

  “Bye!”

  “Bye! Don’t have too much fun. Or do!”

  I’m still laughing when I open the building door and step out. Benjamin’s leaning against the car, his arms crossed, but seeing me, he straightens.

  He’s in an elegant three-piece classic tuxedo. A great choice to complement his long black hair. It’s gelled back loosely, shining brightly in the sunlight.

  Good lord, how can someone be so magnificent?

  “Why, Miss Fontaine, that dress looks even better now than it did before.” He smiles wider as I approach him and leans down. I take in a breath of surprise when he presses his lips to my cheek.

  “You look amazing,” I blurt, wanting to smack myself.

  Keep these things to yourself! You’re just friends! Remember that! Dear God, please remember that!

  “Thank you.” He takes my hand and helps me into the car carefully. These heels are practically stilts. I’m praying I’ll make it through the evening without falling on my face.

  “I’ve never been to a charity function before. What are they like?” I ask as Dimitri sets course for the Javits Center.

  “Immensely boring.” He smirks, unbuttoning his suit jacket.

  I glare at him exasperatedly. “And? What else? What happens at these events?”

  “Speeches, dancing, auctions, usually really cheap food,” he lists off. “Nothing too exciting.”

  “Sounds exciting to me.”

  He looks at me, his brows creased in confusion. “I’ve never met someone excited to go to one of these. You’ve never been to formal functions?”

  “No. Well, other than when I was your assistant, I haven’t.”

  “What about weddings? Parties? Surely you did as a kid.”

  “I’ve never even had a sleepover, Benjamin. Parties were a definite no.” I chuckle darkly, shaking my head.

  “Why?”

  “My uncle wouldn’t let me.”

  “Why?” he repeats again, cocking his head to the side to observe me. I’m guessing he’s trying to read me as usual.

  “I have no idea. The first time I asked, I was nine. He had me make his lunch and then go to my room. I didn’t eat that weekend.” I glance out the window, watching a woman trying to hail a taxi in a tutu. “After that, I didn’t ask anymore.”

  “He starved you?” Benjamin’s gaze is horrified when I redirect my attention back to him.

  “It was a really long time ago. I’m happy and well-fed now.” I pat my stomach, trying to distract him. My lame attempt at a joke doesn’t work. He doesn’t even smile. Dammit.

  “How many of these have you been to?” I ask, trying to change the subject.

  I nudge his arm when he doesn’t answer me and thankfully, that snaps him out of whatever was going through his brain. “Uh, hundreds. I had to do them even as a child.”

  “Really? I can see why they’re boring to you now, then.”

  “Yeah. Some aren’t so bad. They are for a good cause.”

  We’re pulling up to a building now, an enormously huge glass convention center. There are the usual swarms of people outside, flashes brightening the dark areas of the carpet, and my heart sinks to my stomach.

  If my uncle ever saw these pictures, he’d know where I am.

  He’d be able to find me, have me arrested for what I did…

  ***

  Benjamin leads me through the swarms of press and photographers. Thankfully, he doesn’t stop to speak with anyone.

  A gentleman hands us little packets of paper as we head into the room. I read it, noticing it’s the names of all the people on the board and committee.

  “You sponsored this night?” I gasp.

  “Yes,” he says absently, scanning the room for our seats. They’re among the members of the board. I’m going to have a panic attack!

  I’m a bartender! I’m not accomplished!

  “What’s wrong?” Benjamin whispers, pulling out my chair. We’re the first to sit.

  “I think I’m a little out of place here.”

  “Why?” he asks.

  Does he really not get it?

  “I’m a bartender, Benjamin.”

  “You are not a bartender, Darcy. That’s just your job,” he counters sternly, sitting down next to me. He puts his hand on the back of my chair and leans close. “You’re extremely bright. Don’t think less of yourself just because they’ve got more years on you.”

  “And more education? More money? More employees?” I glance around at the successful people around me.

  “I would never bring you here if I didn’t think you could handle it, Darcy. These people are very nice.”

  “You’ve brought other women to these,” I state.

  “I have brought women to functions, yes.”

  “I thought you told me you don’t date smart women. Could they handle this?”

  “How did you know I’ve brought people before?” he asks suspiciously.

  “I Googled you,” I reply with no shame.

  “Ah, good ol’ Google. Look, Darcy, I have brought women to events. I never cared whether I danced with them or if they even had a good time. I think I’ve proven that you are not one of those women.”

  “Right, we’re friends,” I say, not knowing whether I’m telling him or myself that.

  “Yes, we are.” He beckons a woman carrying a tray over to us, then takes two glasses of champagne, handing one to me. “Now listen to me, I have more money myself than everyone in this room does combined, Darcy. I’m successful, and I think you are smart. I think you’re interesting and they will too. Believe me.”

  “Benjamin! Buddy, how are you?” a dark-haired man cheers loudly, and judging by his accent, he’s Spanish. I’m even more surprised when Benjamin rises from his seat, a wide grin on his face. I’ve rarely seen him so happy to see someone.

  “John! I’m great. How are you?” They embrace warmly.

  “Fantastic, dear friend. Fantastic!”

  Benjamin Scott has friends?

  The gorgeous Latino looks down at me kindly. “And who’s this?”

  I stand up and offer my hand, smiling nervously.

  Benjamin makes the introductions. “John, this is Darcy Fontaine. Darcy, John Fuente.”

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” I respond.

  “Please. The pleasure is mine, encantadora.”

  Enchantress? I blush profusely as he bends down to kiss my hand.

  “You are simply hypnotizing! Your eyes…crystal blue. Benjamin, where have you been hiding this beauty?”

  “We’re friends,” I tell him. Benjamin doesn’t say anything. He gestures for John to sit.

  “Where is your wife? Is she here?”

  “Yes, she’s in the powder room. With the baby coming so soon, she’s stressing over her wardrobe all the time.”

  “Oh, she’s expecting?” I ask. “When’s the due date?”

  Benjamin answers, much to my surprise. They must be really close. “Two days before Christmas.”

  The others gradually join the table, and I try to hide my surprise that Benjamin knows these people well, and they love him.

  John’s expression softens, and I notice a brown-
haired beauty headed our way, holding her extended stomach.

  He slides out a chair for her. “Darcy, this is my wife, Jasmine.”

  She presses a quick peck to my cheek in greeting.

  Whoa.

  I try to recover and beam widely. “Nice to meet you.”

  She looks at Benjamin tenderly. “Ben, how are you?”

  “Fine, Jaz. How’s the baby?”

  “Kicking hard these days. He’s going to be a handful when he gets out of here.”

  “Have fun with that.” Benjamin snickers and Jasmine narrows her cat-like eyes.

  “You will too, god-daddy.”

  Wait, Benjamin’s the godfather?

  “I haven’t said yes yet.”

  John rolls his eyes. “You will, amigo. You will.”

  Jasmine addresses me. “You think he should, right?”

  “Um…should be the godfather?”

  “Yes.” John leans back in his chair as if my answer will be the final say.

  Benjamin doesn’t look angry, so I reply hesitantly, “I think he’d be wonderful.”

  Benjamin’s head bobs. “You do?”

  His voice betrays an immense amount of uncertainty. It’s a rare occasion when Benjamin is unsure of himself, and an even rarer instance when he cares what someone else thinks. Those two words cause the entire table to stop their conversations and wait for my answer.

  Wow. No pressure or anything.

  “I’ve never seen you with kids, but you’re one of the most selfless people I know.” I stare at my hands, hoping I can conceal my tempestuous emotions. “You should say yes.”

  “Smart girl!” John exclaims, extending his muscular arms in triumph. “Looks like you’re going to have to do it, Benjamin!”

  Benjamin remains silent, although he has a brighter look. Maybe my answer helped him. I hope so.

  “Darcy, want to dance?” John offers. Jasmine has already whisked Ben off to the dance floor. He’s watching me quite intently, while twirling around with her. He’s a fantastic dancer.

  God, is there nothing he can’t do?

  “I can see the wheels turning in your brain, Darcy.” John places an arm around my waist.

  “I’m sorry, perhaps I’m just tired,” I lie. The music is lively and fun, and I find it extremely hard to keep up with the quick feet of Mr. Fuente.

  Did Benjamin happen to meet this man at a dance class?

  “I’ve heard much about you, Darcy.”

  What?

  I try to remain passive. “From Benjamin?”

  He nods and spins me around. I somehow manage to maintain my balance in these ridiculous heels. “Yes.”

  “Oh.” I can only imagine what he’s said.

  “He’s extremely fond of you. One might even say he’s falling in love with you.” I stare up at him, waiting for more, but he seems to take enjoyment in watching me suffer.

  “He isn’t.”

  “Why don’t you think so?” His dark eyebrows curve into each other and he regards me curiously.

  “Because he told me he didn’t. He doesn’t believe in love.”

  “Ah, well, there is one thing I’ve learned since I met my young friend over there.” He glances over once at the suspicious Greek god eyeing us like a hawk. “It’s that he has a hard time believing he has a heart but, he does. A very big one. He’d probably slit my throat if he knew I told you, but this particular event isn’t an easy one for him. He’s never brought anyone here.”

  “Why not?”

  “I know him well enough to know that he would want to tell you himself in his own time.” He smiles warmly down at me and dips me back elegantly.

  What hasn’t Benjamin told me? Why won’t John tell me?

  “He cares a great deal about what you think. That never happens, Miss Fontaine. My wife and I are happy to see him affected so.”

  “Look, I don’t know what he’s told you about our past. I want to help him, but I can’t risk my heart again, John. I can’t.”

  “He has told me some things, things he’s guilty for,” John says with a frown. “I know it may be past the point of no return, but he’s a good man who needs someone to fight for him. He can be a great man, Darcy. The best of them.”

  The song is finished now and we’re not moving anymore. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Benjamin and Jasmine headed for us.

  “Darcy, I think you have it in you to love him enough to fight. Think about it.”

  “Couldn’t help but notice you talking her ear off, John,” Benjamin says when he reaches us. I see the worry beneath his features. He’s worried what John’s said.

  “Just casual chitchat.” John pats his back, then places his arm around Jasmine’s shoulders and guides her back to her seat.

  A part of me wonders if she knew why he asked me to dance. My mind is spinning in circles.

  Fight for Benjamin’s love?

  I’ve been doing that all along. What else can I do?

  “What did he really say to you?” Benjamin presses as soon as they are out of earshot. I shiver when he puts his right hand against my back and he draws me close.

  “That you’re a good friend to him.” I relish in the feel of his body against mine. “He loves you.”

  He remains quiet for a couple moments and I’m totally and completely okay with that. I unwillingly dream of another time where things would be uncomplicated. A time where Benjamin could love me like I love him.

  “What else?” he asks. “You looked particularly invested, Darcy.”

  “Can you stop being so paranoid?”

  “I’m not being paranoid.”

  “Could have fooled me.”

  He clenches his jaw, but doesn’t argue any further.

  We dance in silence and I’m surprised when he doesn’t let me go for the next song. It’s slower. He slides his hand lower until he’s caressing the small of my back. Barely realizing I’m doing it, I lean my head onto his chest, completely content in his arms.

  “Are you feeling better after what happened?”

  I visualize the yellow bruises on my legs. “Yes, I’m fine,” I answer, not moving my head from the cozy spot on this chest.

  “Have you heard anything from the cops?”

  “Yes, they received a fine and six months in jail. They’ll be released in three on good behavior.”

  Benjamin stops swaying abruptly and I sigh with regret.

  “Repeat that, because I honestly don’t think I heard you right. You said six months?”

  “Yes,” I whisper, looking up at him. He looks furious.

  “How the hell did they pull that off? They are fucking sexual offenders!”

  “Please, keep your voice down.”

  “When did you find out about this?”

  “This morning. One of the guys’ dads has a lot of money apparently. He already paid the fines for all of them.”

  “This is ridiculous.” Benjamin lets me go. “Come with me.”

  You should have kept your big mouth shut, Darcy! He was being all romantic and sweet and then you had to fuck it up.

  I take his hand, letting him lead me through the ballroom. A ravishing woman with dark blonde hair smiles widely when she spots us. “Benjamin!”

  “Cindy, hello,” Benjamin says, kissing her cheek. This must be the editor I’m here to meet.

  “You must be Darcy Fontaine.”

  “Yes. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” I shake her hand firmly.

  “I’ll be right back, ladies. I have a phone call to make.” The look Benjamin gives me tells me everything I need to know about who he’s planning to call.

  He disappears out the door and I focus my attention back to my potential employer.

  “So, Darcy, how do you know Benjamin? He’s told me you’ve dated before?”

  Why would he tell her that?

  “Yes, briefly.”

  “You were his assistant before that?”

  “I was his assistant when it started.”

&
nbsp; “He’s very fond of you.” She scans the people passing by us. That’s two people today that have said Benjamin cares for me. I can’t say I’m upset about it. “He said you were one of the best assistants he’s had, and that’s saying a lot considering Doris was a gem.”

  “That was nice of him to say.” I clasp my hands together, attempting to conceal my ridiculous nervousness.

  “I’m actually searching for an assistant at the moment. My old one is pregnant with her second child and decided to leave. Benjamin referred you when I brought it up. It’s hard work but I’m a pretty nice boss and it’s decent money. Something you’d possibly consider?”

  “Yes. Yes, absolutely.”

  “How about you stop by on Monday? We can get better acquainted and see if it’s something you’re really up for.”

  “Absolutely, Mrs. Dante. Monday is great for me. Thank you.”

  Benjamin reappears and strides toward us.

  “How are you enjoying the event, Darcy? None of this could happen without Benjamin’s help.” She smiles. “He’s been so devoted to this foundation. It’s beautiful, really.”

  I wish I knew why. Does he know someone with cancer? Maybe it’s because of Doris’s husband?

  “How long has he been part of the foundation?”

  “I was diagnosed probably six years ago with breast cancer and he was already on the board. He was probably, what, twenty-one then? My lord, he’s young.” She chuckles, shaking her head.

  “Sorry, ladies.” Benjamin joins us. “What have I missed?”

  “Nothing. You were right about this young lady, Ben.” Cindy grins, touching his arm fondly. “I see Lyle waving me over.”

  She kisses his cheek and extends her hand to me. “I look forward to seeing you on Monday.”

  “As do I. Thank you. It was nice to meet you, Mrs. Dante.”

  “Cindy, sweetheart.” She smiles once more and melts into the crowd.

  “So I’m guessing it went well?”

  “So it would seem.” I smile ecstatically. “Thank you, Ben. Really.”

  “It was my pleasure.”

  “What was the phone call about?” I ask as he leads me back to our table. John and Jasmine are already seated, talking with the others.

  “I talked to my attorney. He’s finding out what we can do to get another hearing.”

  “What?” He looks at me in confusion. “No, please. Don’t.”