“His name is Luke.”
“Luke? Wh-When did this happen?”
“That’s not important.”
“Yes, it damn well is! When, Darcy?”
“Yesterday…after I read the article about you.”
“When you mean met—”
“I mean, I’ve been with him.”
His eyes flash in rage. “What fucking possessed you to do that?”
“I was messed up. I was hurt! I was trying to forget about you!”
“Well, you succeeded.” He pins me with such a look of disappointment that anger blossoms inside of me.
“Where do you come off?”
“Excuse me?”
“Where do you come off reprimanding me after we haven’t spoken in months? It’s only natural for me to try and move on.”
“Out of spite? That’s not natural.”
“Spite? I did it because I hadn’t looked at another man in six months! And when I did, I realized I can find a man that wants to want me! Who wants to love me!”
“He doesn’t love you, Darcy. It was a one-night stand.”
“He asked me to stay with him. He asked me on a date. I would have done it if I hadn’t had plans to come here. He was sweet, he was gentle, and he appreciated me, most of all. Something you never did!”
“I always appreciated you! The entire fucking reason we ended was because of you! Because you couldn’t get over me not wanting to say three fucking words!”
“Benjamin!”
I spin around to find Doris gaping at us from the hallway. “Is that any way to speak to a lady?”
He looks down at the floor in shame, his chest heaving.
I suck in a gasp. “I-I egged him on, Doris—”
“No, she’s right. That was unforgivable of me.” He snatches his jacket from the counter and storms toward the door.
“Benjamin, don’t go,” Doris pleads.
“I’m sorry for this, Doris. Please say good night to Arthur for me.”
And with that, he’s gone. No last glance in my direction. No goodbye, only the unresolved tension floating above my head.
***
“I’m so glad you called,” I gush as soon as Luke opens the door. I practically throw myself at him and he stumbles back a step before catching me and bringing me inside.
“I’m glad I called too.” He chuckles between kisses as I frantically pull his shirt over his head. He hits the side of his couch and we fall back onto it clumsily, but it doesn’t deter my mission.
“Wait…wait,” he argues when I grab the buttons on his pants. “How was the dinner, Darcy?”
“It was strange.” I kiss his neck and he groans loudly, grabbing my head when my teeth graze the skin.
“I don’t want to just fuck you, Darcy.”
“I want you. Please.” I rock myself freely onto his erection and he bites down on his lip hard. I rake my hands through his brown hair and try to get the memory of Benjamin’s inky locks out of my head.
I stand up, turning him so his legs are planted on the floor, then pull his pants down. He springs free before my eyes and I grin, ready to rock his world. I pull my shirt clear over my head, then remove my pants. He strokes himself, watching me slide my panties down my legs. I move forward and straddle him.
Our lips connect and for a minute, I realize I’m actually enjoying this. Until I remember the reason why I’m so aroused.
Don’t let him own you, Darcy!
Luke positions himself at my entrance and within seconds, I’m lowering onto him.
“Wait,” he whispers when I move. He unclasps the back of my bra and it comes undone, and he slides the straps off my arms.
“Skin on skin.” I clamp down on my lip in shame. Why does he have to be so nice? He brings my head down to his.
“You’re so beautiful.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, hating myself and hating the man in my brain. I open them and see familiar green eyes staring into mine before they quickly change back to hazel.
Fuck.
“Stop…stop.”
Luke opens his mouth in shock as I scramble off of him. “Darcy,” he pleads, reaching out for my hand.
“Please, don’t touch me.” I drop my head into my hands and try to conceal my emotions. “I’m so sorry. I-I can’t do this.”
“Can’t do what?”
“This!”
“Why?”
“I just can’t.” I stand up shakily, snatch my underwear off the floor, and step into them, then finish dressing. “I’m so sorry, Luke.”
“We can talk through this. Just wait.” He grabs his boxers off the ground and pulls them up hastily as I make my way to the door.
“No. Good night.” I open the door and sprint down the stairs.
***
Once home, I practically rip the clothes off my body. My heart still hasn’t slowed. After what happened with Benjamin and then with Luke, I’m quite sure it’s a huge possibility I’ll have a heart attack tonight.
I turn the knob on the shower and let the cold water hit my sensitive body. I’m ashamed that I aroused Luke like that and then left. I couldn’t fool myself into pretending I was thinking about his hazel eyes.
Green. Emerald green…that’s all I see.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“Hello?” I answer my cell groggily, not even bothering to open my eyes.
“Happy birthday, baby girl!” Marilyn shouts and Kevin whoops in the background.
“Aw, thank you. What time is it?”
“It’s noon! Get up! You don’t want to sleep your birthday away!”
Actually, I do.
“I’m sleepy.”
“Too bad. We’re going to be there at five to set up decorations!”
Wait, what?
“Decorations?” I sit up.
“We are the best people ever, honestly.”
“Yes we are!” Kevin sings in the background.
“Please don’t say a party,” I grumble and Marilyn laughs.
“See you at five!”
I am definitely not in party mode tonight. There are three missed calls from Luke. I press his name and let the phone ring.
“Darcy?”
“Hi.”
“Oh good. You’re okay.”
“I’m so sorry I did that to you last night. I shouldn’t have,” I apologize, lacking the brain power to grovel any further.
“I understood that you were upset. I’d really like to know why, though.”
“Still? Even after what I did?”
“Blue balls eventually go away, Darcy.”
“I seriously hate myself right now.”
“Look, Darcy, I don’t care if you don’t want to be with me. You’re an awesome person and I at least want to know you. We can be friends if you want. I mean, I’d like it if we could, you know, date but—”
I giggle. “You’re rambling.”
“Oh.”
“I just found out I’m having a little get-together tonight if you want to come.”
“A get-together? Okay. Sure. What’s it for?”
“Uh, my birthday.”
***
“I don’t even know what I’m gonna wear!” I whine, clutching my head in despair.
“Have no fear, my love.” Marilyn picks up a bag from the couch and hands it to me. “Happy birthday.”
I reach into the bag and pull out a crimson dress. I examine it closely, wondering how she found something so perfectly in tune to my taste. “This is so beautiful. Thank you.”
“I’m glad you like it. I found it in a vintage dress shop.”
I trace the lace embroidery. It even feels delicate.
“Well go on! Put it on!” Kevin shouts, entering the room with even more confetti.
I hop up and down in excitement and race to the bathroom.
***
“Wait, you invited him?” Kevin looks intrigued. Marilyn appears shocked. “Your one-night stand?”
I shrug. “I felt
bad.”
Kevin frowns. “Is he even good-looking?”
“Yes, he is,” I reply confidently.
“And he’s a lawyer?”
“Yes.”
“I can’t wait to meet him.” Marilyn narrows her eyes sarcastically.
“He’s a really nice guy, honestly. If I wasn’t so fucked up, I could seriously be into him.”
“We’ll see tonight if he passes the test.” Marilyn holds up a finger. “I still have a best friend veto left.”
“Oh please,” I groan. “I never agreed to let you veto my boyfriends.”
She sets down her streamers and steps into the kitchen. “That’s the sweet thing, honey. You don’t have a choice. If I think he’s a dipshit that’s only going to break your heart, I have the power to veto him.”
“Then shouldn’t you have vetoed Benjamin?” I counter.
“No, I still think there are some redeeming qualities about that man.” She grins, taking a bottle of water from the fridge.
“Such as?” Kevin chimes in, raising an eyebrow.
“The way he can make Darcy’s eyes roll into the back of her skull within seconds. Do you think just anybody can do that?”
I’m seriously regretting telling her that right now. I blush the shade of the dress I’m wearing.
“What about how he can’t commit?” Kevin argues. Oh, my sensible, wonderful friend.
“Darcy told me he wants to be with her.”
Kevin looks over to me. “Excuse me?”
“He misses me. Doesn’t mean he’s changed.”
“Maybe he could learn to love?”
“Maybe he could, but I don’t know if I’m willing to risk my heart like that.”
***
The doorbell rings and I jump up to get it before one of my loud, already slightly drunk friends manages to drag themselves to the door.
I turn the knob and open it, smiling wide. “Luke!”
He’s in a black long-sleeved shirt and jeans. His coat is on his arm along with a gift bag.
“Darcy.” He kisses my cheek. “You look amazing.”
“Thank you.”
“Who is it?” Marilyn asks from behind me and I silently plead, Please, be nice.
“This is Luke Hemingway. Luke, Marilyn Edwards, my ex-boss and best friend.”
Marilyn extends her hand. Luke smiles warmly and takes it. “Nice to meet you.”
“Wow, you are really good-looking!” she exclaims, glancing over at me. “You know how to pick ’em, girl.”
“Mare!” I gasp. She just wants to kill me.
“Thank you.” Luke laughs.
“I’m sorry, Luke. They’ve already broken into the liquor.”
“It’s fine. She’s nice. Oh, I forgot. Here.”
He hands me a small blue bag. “You really didn’t have to.”
“It’s just a candle. I’m the worst at picking out gifts.”
I smile, touched. “It’s a great gift. Thanks.”
I step aside so he can enter. The small living room of my apartment is filled. Doris, Danielle—my new friend from work—and her boyfriend Daniel, Kevin, his boy toy from the club, Marilyn, and her boyfriend of the month, Jamie, are all cozied up, talking comfortably.
“So how old are you today?” Luke whispers with a secretive smirk on his face. “I know we haven’t covered all the grounds yet.”
“I’m twenty-four today.”
“Oh, not far from me,” he replies. “I’m twenty-nine.”
“Really? I still would have pegged you younger than me.”
Seriously. He looks so young.
“Really?” He rubs the back of his neck. “I’m glad to hear that.”
“Everyone, dinner is served,” Kevin proclaims. Dinner tonight is cheap Chinese takeout, my favorite.
“Can I get you something to drink?” I ask, taking Luke’s coat. “We have practically any liquor you can imagine, wine, beer, soda, water…”
“I’ll have a beer, thanks.” Marilyn takes his arm and leads him away, introducing him to the lively bunch.
I fetch the beer from the fridge and set it on the counter. Where is my bottle opener? Shit. I’m digging through my junk drawers when Doris asks, “What are you looking for?”
“A bottle opener. I can’t find it.” I move to the next drawer.
“Listen, I wanted to talk to you about the other day…”
“No, no.” I look up at her. “It’s fine. I know you were just trying to help.”
“But now you two aren’t speaking.” She exhales, pouting like a little girl.
“That happens every time we see each other, Doris. Don’t blame yourself. We’re champions at stupid, passionate hissy fits.” I touch her arm. “Really, it’s fine.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes. I told him I was seeing someone. He knows now, so I’m glad I was able to tell him.”
“So there’s no chance for you two?” she asks hesitantly. “I mean, I just hate to see you both like this. Benjamin has never cared for someone like he does for you. You have some kind of power over him.”
I inhale deeply. It’s taking all the strength I have tonight to act like he’s not the one person I want to be with me for my birthday.
No, Luke is here. He’s kind, and good, and he wants to be with me. He believes in love. I have to remember that.
“I wish I could think like he does. I want to be with him more than anything, but I want him to love me. What point is there in giving him my heart if he can’t give me his? If he refuses even the idea of it?”
“That’s a gamble in any relationship. He can learn to love you. I know he can.”
“Have you been speaking to Marilyn?” I ask suspiciously, putting my hands on my hips.
“Just a bit.” She grins. Her silver hair is down today, making her look a decade younger.
“Well, stop!” I chuckle exasperatedly, going back to my task of finding something to open up this damn beer. I end up finding it in my dishwasher and quickly snap off the cap.
“Let’s get this over with.”
Beer in hand, we walk back out into the dining room.
The drink I’m holding easily becomes ten times heavier as I stare at the incredibly tall billionaire speaking with Marilyn. In a sudden panic, my eyes drift between Luke and Benjamin.
No. No, no, no.
“Did you invite him?” I hiss at Doris, unable to look away from him.
“No,” she answers, sounding just as shocked as me.
Looking very much like the heartthrob people know him as, Benjamin’s wearing a brown leather jacket, black shirt, and black jeans. His hair is wind-blown and dusted with snow due to the intense winter weather, and he’s staring at me.
“Look who’s here!” Marilyn grins, in obvious heaven that she’s standing inches away from a Greek god. He instantly holds the attention of everyone in the room, even Luke. Benjamin has that way about him. He radiates power and celebrity.
“W-What are you doing here?” I whisper, glancing at Luke. God, this could be a disaster.
“I came to wish you happy birthday. I didn’t know there was a party going on. I’m sorry,” he replies politely.
How did he know it’s my birthday? I don’t think I’ve ever told him…and how does he know where I live?
“Oh…thank you.”
He moves from Marilyn’s side and approaches me with a small rectangular box in silver paper. “Happy birthday.”
I hesitantly take it from his hands. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” He nods somewhat oddly. “Well, I’ll be going now.”
“No, stay. We have plenty of food if you like greasy Chinese,” Marilyn coos, batting her eyelashes.
Oh girl, you are one flirtatious drunk.
Benjamin looks back to me, obviously inferring if it’s all right. I glance at Luke, knowing I should tell him to leave.
If only I had the willpower to kick him out…
“Yeah, um, stay.” I clutch
the present to my chest.
“You’re sure I’m not intruding?”
“Of course not. There’s a seat here.” Kevin pats the chair beside him. As soon as Benjamin moves, I shut my eyes in agony.
This can only end badly.
I force my legs to move and follow Doris to the table. I set Benjamin’s gift on my counter by the rest of them and take a seat next to Luke. He looks at me curiously and I smile, hoping to reassure him I’m okay.
“So who is everyone?” Benjamin asks.
While dishing out the food, Kevin goes around the table in order.
By the time he gets to Luke, I’m fidgeting in my seat. Kevin takes pity on me and doesn’t mention anything other than his name.
Dear God, help me get through this dinner in one piece.
***
“Anyone want refills?”
The meal has been pleasant so far and surprisingly, Benjamin and Luke are getting along well with everyone in the room. Never would I think Ben could get along with Kevin, but they both are laughing over some movie they saw recently.
“No! You’re the birthday girl! Sit your ass down!” Marilyn shouts, pointing to my seat.
“The wine is getting to me. I need to move around.”
“Humph. Well I’ll have another moscato if you’re going back there.” She hands me her glass. Danielle does as well, and her boyfriend asks for another beer.
I barely look up as I ask Benjamin if he’d like anything.
“No, I’m fine. Thanks, Darce.”
I swallow with difficulty. “Luke?”
“I’ll help you.”
“Okay.”
I take the glasses to the kitchen, feeling Luke’s presence behind me and Benjamin’s searing gaze on my back.
“Beer is in the fridge,” I say, reaching for the wine.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.”
“You’ve been fidgeting nonstop since that guy got here,” he states, opening the door to the fridge. “Let me guess…he’s the reason for last night’s late visit?”
Dammit. “Yes.”
He’s quiet for a moment, and all I hear is the sound of the cap of the bottle being pulled off.
“I’m sorry. I had no idea he was going to be here. I don’t even know who invited him,” I apologize.
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