As the night wore on, it became louder and louder in the pub. Finn and Ashleigh mooched amongst the few guests, hardly seeing each other. Reece and Sam said several times how proud they were of Ashleigh, who truly felt they were her parents. Jack and Madeline welcomed Ashleigh into the family, embarrassing her when they mentioned grandchildren.
They made their exit at eleven thirty, both exhausted from the excitement of the day. No-one seemed to mind them going. Simone agreed to take the wedding cake home with her that evening. Ashleigh just hoped she didn’t drop it. She did seem rather drunk.
Alone at last, they snuggled closely in the taxi. There were no signs of snow even though it was bitterly cold. They laughed as he carried her over the threshold, accidently banging her head on the door frame. Placing her gently onto the bed, he bent over her small frame, kissing her lips tenderly. Once again, she felt as though she was in paradise. His hands on her body made her feel like a queen. Not once did he rush their love making, helping her to reach heights she never knew existed. Laying in each other’s arms afterwards, Finn turned to face Ashleigh.
“With all the planning of today, I haven’t even bought you anything for Christmas yet.”
“That’s alright. I’ve got the best gift any girl could have.”
“Thank you for marrying me Ashleigh.”
“Thank you for asking me.”
They talked for a while before the day finally caught up on them. With excitement flushing through her body, Ashleigh never thought in a million years she’d be able to sleep. With Finn by her side, breathing deeply, she said a small ‘thank you’ to God. She’d been guided somehow by an invisible force, taking her to where she was today. It was as though she’d been thrust into a parallel universe, exchanging the horrible life she’d had for so many years to this new one. Everything she could have ever wanted had eventually come to her. Knowing she had a lot to be thankful for, she was desperate to repay her debt.
Chapter Nine
When Ashleigh stretched out her arm in bed after spending the past three days virtually in bed, only to feel coldness, her heart raced with panic. Had it all been a dream? Once her eyes had become accustomed to her surroundings, she realised where she was, the ring on her finger confirming she hadn’t been dreaming after all.
She found Finn in the kitchen buttering toast. Somehow the smell was always more enticing when made by somebody else. Freshly squeezed orange juice sat in two glasses on the table, with a red rose standing in a tall slender vase next to where Ashleigh usually sat.
“Happy Christmas Mrs Watson,” Finn said.
“Happy Christmas to you. What’s all this?”
“It’s only toast and juice but I wanted to start married life on a good note, put my skills into practice.”
Ashleigh hugged him before saying, “Thank you. It’s a lovely gesture.”
“Now,” he began. “Would my delicious wife care to be seated? I’ll pour some coffee.” She chuckled as she took her place at the table. Her eyes kept catching her wedding band, still unable to believe she was married.
“Dad wants us to go to his this afternoon,” Finn added.
“Alright. I want to pop round to mum and dad’s later. I’ve got them a little something.”
“What are they doing today?”
“They’re going out for Christmas lunch to the place where we had our reception. Mum agreed it was about time they were waited on for a change.”
“Can’t say that I blame them,” Finn added.
There wasn’t much to wash up and once it was out of the way, Ashleigh changed into warmer clothes. Finn had settled himself in front of the television, not that there was much on.
“I won’t be long,” Ashleigh said on her way out before planting a kiss on Finn’s lips.
“Okay. Don’t forget we’re leaving here at one thirty. The taxi is already booked.”
The streets were deserted as Ashleigh made her way to see Reece and Sam. Yet another Christmas which wasn’t white, leaving the atmosphere somewhat flat. It was quite mild for the time of year but the persistent drizzle made the day look grey and gloomy.
Sam welcomed Ashleigh into her home with open arms. She showed affection towards her as that of a real mother. Ashleigh loved the close bond she’d made with her. It’d been something she’d always been deprived of from Linda, her real mother.
“Come in darling. Reece is in the kitchen making a drink. Can I get you one?”
“No thank you. I had two cups at breakfast.”
“Is Finn alright?”
“He is. He’s so lovely Sam.” Sam could tell by the generous smile Ashleigh carried on her face how much she cared for him.
“He’s no more than you deserve love. Every girl needs someone to love them.”
“I know. I just can’t believe I’m married.”
“It took me a while to accept I’d married Reece.”
“Did it?”
“Oh yes. The amount of cheques I had to destroy because I’d signed it using my maiden name. You’ll get used to it in time.”
“Anyway,” Ashleigh began. “While I’m here, I’ve got you a present.”
“Oh love thank you. There’s one for you under the tree.” Ashleigh smiled. It was the only one she’d got but that didn’t bother her. Finn was like all the Christmas presents she’d never had rolled into one.
Sam tore off the paper to reveal a new set of table mats. She’d commented on how tatty the ones they had were, so much so, she was embarrassed to invite friends round for dinner.
“They’re lovely Ashleigh. Thank you. I’ll sit them in the middle of the table and use them tomorrow.”
Once they’d been set neatly in their place, Sam gave Ashleigh her gift. It was a set of peach towels. Just what she wanted.
“Thank you so much Sam.”
“You’re very welcome.” Slapping her thighs she said, “I’m sorry to have to get rid of you so soon, but once I’ve have the cup of coffee Reece is making, I’ll need to be getting ready. We’re leaving at twelve.”
“That’s okay. It was only a flying visit anyway to give you your present. Enjoy yourselves won’t you?”
Reece was just coming out of the kitchen with two cups as Ashleigh got up to leave. “Hello love. Sorry I’ve been so long in the kitchen. I was reading the paper.”
“No worries. Have a good Christmas dinner.”
“We will love,” Reece confirmed patting his stomach. “You too. Give our best to Finn and his parents.”
“Of course. Bye. Thanks once again for the towels”
She was soon back home, excited for getting ready to go to Jack and Madeline’s. Knowing they’d put on an extravagant meal didn’t alarm Ashleigh like it would have done in previous years. They were people with good taste but very down to earth. She felt they thought highly of her and worthy to be married to their son. If her real mum and dad had still been on the scene, no doubt things would have been very different. They’d probably have felt that Ashleigh wasn’t worthy enough for their son.
The taxi arrived on time. Ashleigh zipped up her jacket as far as it would go, while Finn chose a bottle of wine to take with them.
A magnificent Christmas tree stood in a corner of the lounge. Ashleigh had never seen one so beautifully decorated. Christmas had never been celebrated when she was younger so now, as she touched the individual baubles, she felt like a child all over again.
“Beautiful isn’t it?” Finn said after a minute of watching her face so mesmerised by the dancing colours and lights.
“It really is.”
“Mum has always enjoyed decorating at Christmas. Does yours?”
A flash back of Christmas morning when she was twelve years old, wormed its way into her thoughts, poisoning her mood for a moment. The flat had been freezing. Her dad was playing poker with four men. Mum spent all day in her arm chair watching television. She remembered sitting in her bedroom feeling really hungry when her dad walked in, closing the door firmly beh
ind him. He’d ordered her to lie down on the bed whilst he undid his trousers. Unsure of what he was doing, the only thoughts she’d had were that something didn’t feel right. Her hands felt clammy as he began to walk over to her. And then a big hand clamped over her mouth.
“Don’t scream or I’ll kill you.” He got into bed with her and touched her breasts. Frozen by fear, all she could do was lay there, praying for it to be over, struggling to breathe under the weight of his grubby hand. But nothing else happened. Linda barged into the bedroom and called him out because the film he’d mentioned he’d wanted to watch was about to start. Ashleigh never knew if her mum had sensed what was going on that day, but it was the only decent thing she’d ever done as a mother. As he climbed out of her bed, his watery, bloodshot eyes leered at her.
“There’ll be other times,” he whispered. Then he was gone.
When an arm touched her shoulder, she jumped a little.
“Are you alright Ashleigh? You’re trembling.” The silent tears which rolled down her cheeks startled Finn. Taking her in his arms he said, “Whatever is the matter? You’re crying and trembling.”
It had been a while since she’d thought about that unwanted life. The damage it had done was still evident though, still buried away somewhere, only moments away from ever being disturbed by a simple reminder.
Wiping her eyes she sniffed, “It’s nothing. I’m fine honest.”
Still concerned Finn replied, “It doesn’t seem like nothing Ashleigh.”
“Please, let’s just forget it. I’m just being stupid. Come on. Let’s see if your mum needs a hand in the kitchen.”
She turned to go, leaving Finn by himself for a moment. Ashleigh’s sudden change in behaviour had worried him a little but he couldn’t understand what had happened to trigger it off.
Finding Ashleigh in the kitchen with his mum, a glass of wine in hand, he filled a glass for himself. His dad was in the lounge stoking up the huge fire. An open fire was a must on Christmas day.
Throughout the dinner, Finn cast small glances over at Ashleigh. She seemed fine now, as if the earlier incident had never happened. He’d thought that perhaps they could talk about it when they got home later but decided against it. Something, he was sure, had pained her earlier. It would be cruel of him to put her through it again.
They stayed at Finn’s parents until ten o’clock that evening. Ashleigh helped Madeline clear away, feeling completely relaxed in her company. On the way home, Ashleigh suggested they call at the church to light a candle. Finn wasn’t too keen on the idea. It would mean getting out of the taxi early and having to walk the rest of the way home. He succumbed to her idea eventually, deciding he’d use the time on foot to walk off the huge meal they’d eaten.
There were already a couple of people kneeling down at various pews saying silent prayers. Holding Finn’s hand, Ashleigh led him to the Altar. Taking two candles, she lit one and asked if he would light the other. He rolled his eyes at her and tutted.
“Do I have to Ashleigh? It’s mad.”
“No it isn’t. Come on. It won’t hurt you.” After several attempts, his candle was finally lit.
“Can we go now please?” he asked.
“No Finn, we have to say a prayer.”
“Not me. I’m an atheist.” His words scolded her like acid. He’d mentioned before that he wasn’t religious but this; this word ‘atheist’ sent shock waves rippling through her body. It had been the only time he’d said something she could only describe as mortifying. With a huge sigh, Finn turned on his heel, leaving Ashleigh on her own as he stormed off. Her breath caught in her throat at his sudden change in mood, as her body began to shake for the second time that day. Taking her place on the kneeler, Ashleigh bowed her head, praying for strength, forgiveness and guidance. As she said Amen, looking up from teary eyes, a blurry image of a man stood in front of her. Her first thoughts were that Finn had come to apologise. It was the soft Irish accent which confirmed it wasn’t him.
“I don’t mean to pry miss but are you alright?” Finding a tissue in the depths of her coat pocket, Ashleigh blew her nose before dabbing her red eyes. The man beside her was a priest. He had black hair with flecks of grey highlighted by the flicker of candles. His dark eyes searched her face. She remained on her kneeler unable to speak, finding herself mesmerised by this stranger. Holding out a hand to her he said, “My name is Father Michael. I’m taking over soon from Father Patrick.”
Knowing she couldn’t continue to stare, she eventually found a voice.
“I’m very pleased to meet you Father. I’d heard Father Patrick was leaving.”
“He’s been here for a very long time, so it’ll be a hard job taking his place,” he admitted.
“It’s a lovely church. I think you’ll be fine.”
“Do you attend a lot?”
“As much as I can. My mum …” After realising she was about to divulge information about her mum’s funeral, she froze mid sentence. Looking confused at her abrupt ending, Father Michael sensed from this young girl there was something she wasn’t comfortable to reveal.
“Does your mum come here also?” he asked, trying to be tactful.
There was no way she could lie to him, so she said something which was partly true.
“Not really.” An awkward silence made Ashleigh blush. “I’d better find my husband,” she said. “He’ll be freezing outside.”
“He’s here right now,” Father Michael replied, nodding his head towards the front door where Finn stood. Ashleigh was shocked that the priest had been able to remember who she’d come into church with, hoping he hadn’t heard Finn’s earlier comment about being an atheist.
Finn approached cautiously, putting an arm around Ashleigh’s waist as he stood next to her. Again Ashleigh blushed at what she thought was inappropriate behaviour in a church.
“Are you ready to get out of here Ashleigh?” Finn asked with eyes transfixed on Father Michael. “The place gives me the creeps.”
“Yes I am. Sorry if you’re cold.” He didn’t comment further.
When Father Michael held out his hand to Ashleigh again, Finn studied his handsome features with suspicion.
“Hope to see you again,” Father Michael said.
“Me too,” Ashleigh replied. His eyes broke away from Ashleigh’s as he turned to walk away. Ashleigh stood frozen for a brief moment, aware there was something about him which had intrigued her. She’d felt hypnotised as her hand had touched his. Ashamed of feeling a twinge of excitement upon looking into his eyes, Ashleigh turned to Finn saying, “Come on, let’s go and get warm.”
He didn’t return her smile or hold her hand when they left church. Neither did he notice he was being watched by someone he’d felt threatened by tonight; someone who appeared to show an un-healthy interest in his wife. Father Michael had also felt electricity running through his hand as he’d taken hold of Ashleigh’s. It was a sensation he’d never experienced before and one he didn’t know the meaning of. He had to remind himself he was a man of the cloth, married to the church now and would have to confess for being tempted by the Devil.
Their walk home was wrapped in total silence, the atmosphere as icy as the wind wiping around their feet. Finn wouldn’t answer any of Ashleigh’s questions. She couldn’t understand what had gotten into him. He went straight to bed that night, turning his back on her. As Ashleigh lay in bed, too confused to sleep, she knew her encounter with the priest had felt strange, weird almost. The scary thing was she’d liked it. The most frightening thing about the evening was that she found herself admitting she’d liked the priest too. He was older than her by probably ten to fifteen years. The silly thoughts she’d had about him needed to be extinguished immediately, but that wouldn’t be easy. His dark eyes had held so much kindness, she’d felt hypnotised by them, finding it hard to break their intent gaze. Her mind was thinking dangerous thoughts. Finn was her husband of only a few days and she loved him more than she’d ever loved anyone.
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br /> When she snuggled close to him that night, he made no attempt to turn over to return the gesture. It was the first time he’d shown moodiness towards her and she didn’t like it. In the morning, she’d talk to him, get things sorted out before the situation got out of hand. There was no way she was going to let any silliness get in their way.
Father Michael put out the last of the candles, locking the doors behind him. He’d never asked what the young woman with the tears in her eyes was called. He hoped he’d see her again, someday soon.
Chapter Ten
January started with a vengeance. With strong winds and heavy rain, it was enough for anyone to want to batten down the hatches and stay inside. Ashleigh had found her way in her new role at work, enjoying working with Finn. They kept their relationship very professional, enjoying their time as a married couple once behind closed doors. Although they’d never spoken of the incident on Christmas day, Ashleigh thought she’d noticed a change in Finn whenever she mentioned anything about the church. Only having been twice since the time she’d gone there on Christmas day, Ashleigh had felt disappointed when she’d gone there only to find it empty. Father Patrick was still conducting his sermons on a Sunday morning. He was a man still capable of filling the church with a large congregation. Ashleigh had always enjoyed listening to him. His soft but deep tones had always been able to get inside her head, keeping the thoughts of her childhood from tormenting her. Many times she’d wanted to talk to him in the confession box but the dream which had scared her still prayed on her mind. She knew deep down that she’d never be able to tell Finn about her past either, but everyday it ate away at her conscience. Maybe she should have explained it all before their wedding day. It was too late now. Too much damage could be done if he knew she’d kept things from him for this long. She’d even been thinking about confiding in Father Michael when he eventually replaced Father Patrick but that would mean she’d have to enter the confession box.
Jack was away on holiday with Madeline for two weeks and Finn was away at a conference for the next two days with Miss Taylor, Jack’s p.a. Ashleigh had been surprised when Finn had sprung it upon her on the Sunday evening that he was going away. He reckoned he’d told her about it weeks before but no matter how much she tried, she could not remember him uttering a single word about it.
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