by Lisa Hobman
Tears spilled over from Cassie’s eyes and her lip trembled. ‘We do have that. All of it. I love you, Mac. I love you very much but he said he knew things about my mother’s death. He said people in the prison had been talking and that he had things he needed to tell me face to face. I know it was stupid but I had to know if there was the smallest possibility that her death wasn’t as I’d been told. He manipulated me. Told me I couldn’t tell anyone and that he was putting himself in danger by even calling me. I was stupid to go. I know that now. I can’t believe I fell for it. But I honestly didn’t think even he could be so cruel. But he is. He’d lied just to get me there. Just so he could try and split us up. He’s an evil, sick man, Mac. And I’m so sorry. I wanted to believe that our history meant something to him but I was wrong. I know that now. A leopard doesn’t change his spots.’
‘And you should’ve known he’s the biggest damned leopard that ever lived, Cassie. Seriously, how naïve could you possibly have been?’ She hugged her arms around her body and tears streamed down her face. Mac fought the urge to comfort her, knowing what the devious bastard had done and how much it must have hurt her.
She couldn’t seem to make eye contact now. ‘I was too scared to tell you I was going. Especially with what he’d said. And I knew you’d be angry. I knew you’d disapprove.’
‘Damn fucking right, I disapprove! You think I want you anywhere near him after what he’s already done?’ His body shook violently but deep down he knew he wasn’t angry with Cassie. He was angry with Seth and his manipulating ways; his unwillingness to let her go. But he also knew that she was a hard woman to let go of. And sadly, he knew that if she had trusted him she would’ve told him about Seth’s call, regardless of the arrogant arse’s insistence that she didn’t. And after everything they’d been through trust was a necessary foundation for their relationship.
A sad and heavy weight pressed him down and he shook his head; the fight was gone from him. ‘Look, I know I can’t stop you from doing whatever the hell you want to do, Cassie. We’re adults and you’re very much your own person—a fact I wouldn’t want to change even if I could. But we have to be able to trust each other, to not deceive each other. But that doesn’t seem to be the case for you. And without trust… without trust we don’t even have an us.’
Chapter Forty-two
Cassie
After Mac’s parting words that had cut her to the core, he disappeared for a couple of hours. Without trust there is no us. As easy as that it was ruined. She knew he would be down at the beach but she couldn’t bring herself to follow him. He was right. Everything he’d said had been true. She had deceived him. She had gone behind his back and done the one thing she knew he would hate. And all for what? To discover that her original opinion of the Seth Guthrie she had chosen to leave was right all along. He was still the same manipulative, controlling, arrogant pig he had always been, only now he’d sunk to even more wicked depths. And she had fallen for his games yet again. What kind of an idiot did that make her? One that was undeserving of Mac’s love that was for sure. How could he want her now? At times like this she wished Vina hadn’t been Seth’s sister. She really needed advice but how could she ask it of the one person who loved Seth as much as she had? Blood is thicker than water, Cassie reminded herself. Vina had stood by her when the break-up happened, but since Seth had gone to prison she had stopped texting and there had been no calls or emails with details of her wonderful relationship with Harry. The radio silence was deafening. Cassie had thought about contacting her but every time she had picked up her phone to do so she had reminded herself that Seth was in prison because of her when it came down to the truth. How could Vina be her friend now?
She finished putting clothes in her holdall and carried her heavy bag down the stairs with an even heavier heart. Cliff wagged his tail at the sight of her and his hopeful expression broke her heart. He thought they were going for a walk.
But what they were really doing was leaving.
*
Several hours later and after listening to the Beach Boys on repeat knowing it would probably be the last time she could cope with it, Cassie’s dad opened the door and she immediately leapt into his arms as the emotion of the past few hours finally broke her.
‘Cassie, darling, whatever’s wrong?’ her dad asked as he stroked her hair and manoeuvred her inside the cottage as Patch and Cliff skipped around each other excitedly like long lost friends.
‘I’ve ruined it all, Dad. Like I always do. I took the one good thing in my life since Seth and I stamped on it. Why am I so stupid? Why am I so bloody gullible?’ she shouted, anger at herself spilling over along with myriad tears from her eyes.
Her father took her hand. ‘Come on and sit down. I’ll make a pot of tea and you can tell me all about it, eh?’
Another hour later and all cried out, Cassie sat clutching the mug of cold tea that had once been hot and tempting. She’d told her dad everything and sat there awaiting his response. She deserved to be told what an idiot she’d been for throwing away such a wonderful relationship, budding as it was.
But her dad reached out and squeezed her arm instead. ‘That mongrel hit you where it hurt the most. I would’ve done the same. You had to find out. I just wished you had phoned me first, sweetheart. You made an ill-informed mistake. We’ve all done it. But it doesn’t define who we are going to be from now. It simply helps us to realise what our priorities are. And that’s what’s happened here. You now know for sure that Seth Guthrie doesn’t even feature on your list. And that Mac is at the top of it. But you can’t run away at the first sign of problems. You can’t presume that one little bump in the road means it’s over. You have to fight for what you know is right for you. And Mac is that thing. He deserves to know where you are and why you ran. He’ll be worried sick.’
Cassie placed her mug on the coffee table and covered her face with her hands. ‘He’s better off without me, Dad. Look at the shit storm I brought to his life. None of this would have happened if it wasn’t for me.’
‘His uncle would still have died, Pebble. And then he wouldn’t have had you there to support him. And in any case, there’s no point living on what if. The facts are what’s important here. And the fact is he loves you. And you love him. Surely that’s not something you want to lose? Just because Seth was an arse doesn’t mean Mac won’t be good to you. The two are like chalk and cheese. I think you know that. Did he actually say it was over between you?’
She thought back once again to the heart wrenching words he had left her with. ‘He said that without trust there is no us. It sounded pretty final to me.’
Her dad sighed. ‘Why are you so pessimistic, Pebble? It doesn’t sound final to me. It sounds like he’s upset and needed to cool off and think. He didn’t ask you to leave. And he wasn’t the one who packed his bags now was he?’
Her dad was making sense. But in her heart, she knew she was right. Mac didn’t need to pack his bags. Rose Brae belongs to him and he could be happy there without her. He didn’t need her around. She just caused trouble. Made him sad and angry. He’d be glad to see the back of her surely?
Cassie’s phone rang and she stared in the direction of it where it sat on the table. She was too far away to see the screen but too upset to answer it anyway. Her dad patted her arm and nodded once as he stood to go answer it for her. He walked into the hallway as he greeted the caller, presumably in case it was someone she really didn’t want to speak to. She couldn’t hear what was being said but when her father returned she lifted her gaze hopefully, her heart skipping in her chest.
‘W-was it him?’ she asked as she twisted her fingers in her lap.
Her dad’s face crumpled in sympathy and he shook his head. ‘Sorry, love. No, it was Sally Cairns. She said she’d bumped into Mac and he’d told her you’d gone. He looked bereft by all accounts.’
She lowered her gaze to the two little dogs nuzzling at her legs, vying for attention. ‘But he didn’t call. So I’m
probably right after all.’ She wiped the moisture from her eyes and glanced at the clock. It was almost midnight and she was drained. ‘Is the spare bed made up dad?’
He nodded. ‘It’s your bed, sweetheart, and it’s always made up ready for you whenever you need it.’
She stood and kissed his cheek. ‘I think I’ll turn in, if you don’t mind. I’m shattered.’
‘Okay, love. I’ll sort Cliff out. You just get some rest. Love you.’ He kissed her forehead and she headed for the stairs.
Once inside the cosy surroundings of her bedroom she closed the striped blue curtains and lowered herself to the single bed that sat in the centre of the room. The pale blue flowery bedspread still looked pristine and the walls still held the posters from her teenage years. Oh to be a teenager again, she thought. Only the worries of crushes and exams to concern me back then.
She undressed and tugged an old t-shirt and her toiletries from her bag before making her way to the bathroom next door. Once she had washed the tear stains from her face and brushed her teeth she went back to her room to find Cliff curled up in a ball at the bottom of the bed. She bent to nuzzle his fur and he stretched and pawed at her.
‘You’re such a sweetie, Cliff. What would I do without you?’ He wearily wagged his tail and curled back into a ball. Once in bed she flicked off the lamp and lay there in the darkness going over everything that had happened with Seth and then every special moment she had shared with Mac. She swiped at the tears trickling down her face and into her hair and closed her eyes, doing her best to fight the images of Mac, bare chested in bed, staring at her with that love-filled gaze of his. But it was futile. He was etched in her mind and on her heart forever. And it was something she would have to learn to live with.
*
Mac
Hi Mac
I want to apologise for all the pain I’ve caused you. It seems that I’ve brought nothing but trouble into your life since I arrived. I really hoped we had a future but I see now that you are better off without me. It seems that Seth will do his utmost the ruin my life and the lives of those around me too. Perhaps I just need to be where he can’t do this. Far away from you and the others I love. I will send for the rest of my things soon. But please know that I truly love you and never intended to lie to you or hurt you. I wouldn’t do that for all the salt in the ocean. Please don’t hate me. Be happy.
With more love than I can express on paper,
Pebble
Mac shook his head and scrunched the paper up in his fist. He yelled out as he threw it across the kitchen and didn’t bother to watch where it landed.
‘Oh no, Seth Guthrie. You don’t get to ruin us. You don’t get to win this time,’ he said aloud to the empty room before grabbing his car keys and leaving the cottage. As he switched on the engine a text pinged though to his phone. In a desperate hope that it was Cassie he scrambled around the passenger seat until he picked it up and stared at the screen.
She’s gone to her dad’s. I will send the address and phone number. I hope you’re okay. Sally x
Chapter Forty-three
Cassie
Cassie awoke with a start as a loud banging noise vibrated up through the walls and floors from downstairs. The noise eventually registered as someone pounding on the front door. Both dogs barked in alarm and her immediate thought was that Seth had somehow been released and had come to look for her. Her heart hammered at her ribs and her breathing rate increased as adrenalin surged through her veins. She heard her dad jogging down the stairs yelling at whoever it was to keep their hair on.
‘Dad! No!’ Cassie yelled, terrified as she leapt from the comfort of her bed and ran for the door. But when she arrived at the top of the stairs, she could see Mac standing in the open doorway and a combination of relief and trepidation flooded her mind.
Mac was running his hands over his hair. ‘I’m so sorry, Mr Montgomery. I didn’t mean to scare you. It was stupid. I should’ve called first but, in all honesty, it couldn’t wait.’
‘You’d better come in, Mac, Cassie’s sleeping but—’
‘It’s okay, Dad. I’m here,’ Cassie interrupted as she made her way down the stairs to the door.
Mac’s eyes lit up when he saw her but his excitement was quickly replaced by a glare of anger. ‘Can we talk?’ he asked tersely. She nodded and gestured towards the lounge.
Her dad placed his hand on her arm. ‘Will you be okay, sweetheart? I can stay if…’ he shrugged and glanced across at Mac.
She smiled warmly. ‘No, no it’s fine, Dad. You go on back to bed.’
He nodded and turned to Mac. ‘Whatever you’ve come to say, go easy on my girl you hear me?’
Mac’s icy demeanour melted a little and he smiled. ‘She’s safe with me, Mr M. I promise you that.’
Once her dad was gone she closed the living room door behind them and glanced around the homely familiar surroundings. The room was small and tired but clean. Embers still glowed in the fireplace and above it on the mantle sat photos of Cassie at various ages throughout her life. Mac would be seeing it all; from the plump faced toddler in pigtails to the brace-mouthed, spotty teenager.
She took a deep breath and turned to face Mac. ‘Can I get you a drink? Some food? We’ve got coffee, water… We do have wine but I’m guessing you drove here so—’
‘You’re doing that stressy thing again. I’m fine. Let’s just sit, eh?’ He had softened much more and so Cassie sat, pulling her old tatty robe from her room tight around her.
‘It’s three in the morning Mac, what couldn’t wait?’
Mac huffed and shook his head. ‘A fucking Dear John letter. You did a runner and left me a Dear John letter.’
She pulled at a thread in her lap and shrugged. ‘I didn’t know what else to do. You said we were over. So I left.’
‘Erm, no. What I actually said was that without trust there’s no us. I never once said we were over. But you chose to read between the lines, Cassie. You heard something I never said. Yes, I was angry. And I was hurt. And if I’m honest I thought you were ready for us to be over seeing as you went to see him. But I didn’t want to hear it so I went for a walk to clear my head. I never expected to find you’d gone when I returned.’ She listened intently and suddenly felt very foolish. ‘And when I found that letter I had to come and find you. I’m not ready to give up on us. If we’ve hit a hurdle we figure out a way around it. We don’t quit.’ There was a long pause and he pleaded at her with his eyes. ‘Unless… unless you want to quit?’
She slowly shook her head as the sting of tears prickled at her eyes. ‘I don’t want to quit,’ she whispered.
He stood and walked around the coffee table to sit beside her. ‘That’s so good to hear.’ His voice cracked as he spoke. ‘Because I really don’t want to lose you.’
Her lip trembled as she saw her own emotion mirrored in his eyes. ‘You haven’t lost me. I’m so sorry for what I did. So very sorry. I wish I could go back and change things.’
He reached up and cupped her cheek in his large rough palm. ‘Let’s just forget it, okay? What’s done is done. We can’t let him spoil things for us anymore. He has to be in the past now. For both our sakes. Okay?’
She nodded as tears left damp trails down her cheeks. ‘Okay.’
‘We’ve got so much to look forward to, Cassie. And I… I have something I want to tell you.’
Unable to manage any more words she simply nodded in encouragement and he wiped at his own cheeks. ‘I’ve decided I want to build a house on the land. Thanks to my uncle Rab, I have the original plans for the house my folks wanted to build and I want to go ahead and fulfil their dream. And… And I want you to live in it with me.’
She gasped. ‘Really? But what about Rose Brae?’
He laughed. ‘Well we can’t live in two places at once, can we? But we’ll stay there until the house is built and then… well then maybe we’ll rent it out. It’ll make someone a lovely home.’
She gave herself a mo
ment for the news to sink in. ‘I can’t believe you’d let me have a room in your brand new house. That’s so kind.’
He scrunched his face. ‘Hang on. I don’t think you’re getting this. I’m not renting you a room, you daft wee mare. I’m asking you to live with me. With me in our home and in our bedroom.’
She widened her eyes as his words actually sank in this time. ‘Oh god, I’m so stupid. I didn’t realise you meant… And that I’d… Oh Mac!’ She flung her arms around his neck and crushed her lips to his as his arms came about her and he returned the kiss with as much passion and desperation.
He pulled away and smoothed her hair back from her face. ‘So you’ll come home?’
She ran her nose the length of his. ‘I’ll come home.’
Chapter Forty-four
Mac
Cassie had been home for a few days but Mac still grinned like an idiot every time he looked over and saw her sitting there on the couch. It didn’t matter that she was makeup-free, in her joggers and a t-shirt with her legs tucked under her, a mug of coffee in one hand and a romance novel in the other.
To him she couldn’t be more perfect.
‘Tiger, you’re staring again,’ she smiled as she spoke. He loved that she had taken to calling him by the silly pet name all the time and he responded in kind with hers.
‘That’s because you’re bloody gorgeous, Pebble.’
The day after she returned to Coldingham, he had spread out the plans for the house and explained each and every aspect of their home to be. He loved how enthusiastic she was about it all and how she got excited about the prospect of choosing wallpapers, paint colours and carpets. He knew she had a good eye for such things and couldn’t help being equally as giddy about seeing the house when she’d worked her magic. From what she’d said about Seth’s apartment it had been a stark, white pristine palace of a place and she was staunchly against their new home being in any way similar. There would be colour and local artwork along with antique pieces and second-hand furniture. It would quirky and eclectic. And theirs.