“It’s not like something out of a fairytale, it’s more like that they’re always there for one another and it doesn’t matter what happens, they love each other unconditionally. It’s kind of a rare thing in a couple,” I said with a long sigh.
Ransom stared at me for an extended beat. I half expected him to laugh at how I had gone all moony over my best friend’s relationship.
“That sounds kind of awesome,” he said with a wide grin. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn’t just saying it, he actually believed what he had said.
“Yeah, it is,” I said, leaning my cheek on my hand.
The conversation moved on to Ransom’s best friend Dave, and how he was stuck on a girl named Paula. Later he told me about how he was in construction, and that he lived a life on the road and how that felt. And as Ransom and I talked, all the awkwardness fell away. In the hotel room we were just two people enjoying each other’s company, where neither of us had a past, just a present. It felt more than amazing to forget, for a little while at least, all the mistakes and regrets that had ruled my life for so long. It was good to just be there with a gorgeous guy who actually seemed interested in what I had to say. Right then, life was uncomplicated, and for the first time in a long while, divinely okay.
17. RANSOM
Lexie wasn’t like any girl that I had talked to before. Sure I had seen her wholesome, good girl kind around before, but I had never had the slightest inclination to approach girls like her. It wasn’t because she was ugly because she wasn’t, in fact she was cute if you went for that bookishly smart kind of thing. Her green-blue eyes had a nice shape and most of the black crap that had ringed them before, had rubbed off. Whatever other makeup she might have been wearing was gone, leaving her face smooth and soft looking. Her dark hair was barely tamed by her ponytail that was half in, half out, and her lips were moist from her drink. She kind of reminded me of the girls that used to be on Noxema commercials on TV when I was a kid.
If it wasn’t for her eyes, that had reminded me of a deer caught in the headlights, when she had begged me to stay, I would have bailed. I had always had a soft spot for people who needed help.
Even while we were talking, she seemed a bit shy and a little nervous. The feeling was mutual. I had no experience with women outside of the bedroom. Sure I could wheel them into sack but this whole chit-chat about life, even if it wasn’t mine, was foreign. I glanced at my watch, shocked that an hour had already passed since we had come into her room. I had to admit it was something of a milestone for me to have been in a hotel room with a girl, and still not have had sex by this point.
“So when are you moving out again?” Lexie asked.
I was beginning to regret telling her that I had a job that had me on the road for most of the year. Talking about it, brought me ever close to the fact that Gab was fighting for his life in the hospital just a few blocks away. I threw back the last dregs of my drink, my second since I had arrived. The first had been strong enough to stand a stick in, the second I had made myself, so it tasted a whole lot better. It had gone down much easier than it should have.
“Are you okay?” Lexie asked, bringing me back to the conversation.
I hadn’t realized that I had drifted off to sleep. The events of the day had me running on adrenalin and now in the quiet of the hotel room, with a soft comfortable bed just feet away, I was wishing that I could curl up and go to sleep. The vodka that I had just downed added to the beers at Clancy’s, had the cumulative effect of leaving me quite bombed.
“Yeah, you know, just wiped out.”
I lifted my drink to my lips and tipped it back, and realized that I had already finished it. I blinked my eyes a few times as if it would sober me up, of course it had no effect. Once again the sound of Lexie’s voice brought me out of my stupor.
“I better get going,” I said, attempting to stand. I was back on my ass before I could count to three. I had always hated drinking vodka for that reason alone, because it always seemed to sneak up on me, where one minute I was perfectly fine and the next I was plastered.
“I don’t think you’re going to get very far like that.”
Lexie’s voice sounded far away as if she was in a tunnel. My eyes were barely slits; I was more than aware that I was well on my way to passing out.
“Come on and lay down for a little while,” I heard Lexie say.
Her face swam in front of me in a watery blur. I felt her hands on my arms, and she was pulling me to my feet. It felt impossible to do anything but follow her lead.
“No, I should go and…”
My words were slurred and unintelligible as she corralled me forward. I got a brief vision of the bed before I went face down on it, then everything went black.
Then Gabriel was there, broken and bloody, and I couldn’t reach him. He was dying and I couldn’t get to him. The next image was of Gabriel in the hospital, tubes trailing from every part of his frail body and just like before, I ran. As I raced away all I could think was that I needed to forget, go somewhere else because the concept that he could die and leave me was too much to shoulder.
Then he was gone and in his place was a blonde in a skin tight black dress that fell to just the top of her shapely thighs. The bodice of her dress covered half of her huge breasts, leaving me more than a little excited to get below the filmy fabric to see everything she had to show. She moved toward me and the urgency to have her was overwhelming . I wanted to get lost inside of her, where the feel of her body was all that mattered and nothing existed outside of mutual gratification.
“Oh baby, I’m going to take you to places you never knew existed,” I murmured reaching for her. Then time seemed to fast forward and she was already in my arms, and we were in bed. Her dress was gone, and now she was in just a sheer black bra and matching panties. I buried my face in her hair. It smelled of something exotic and tropical, like coconuts and the beach. I inhaled deeply, appreciating the silkiness of every strand.
But it was too dark. I had always hated having sex in the dark, because seeing her beautiful body only made it that much more satisfying. Not capable of letting go of her for even a second to flick on a light, I ignored the fact that I couldn’t see all of her, using all my other senses to explore.
“Oh god you smell good,” I rumbled, pushing my face even deeper into her long hair. I slipped an arm around her torso, drawing her even closer until we were in a perfect spoon position. I felt the cheeks of her ass wrap around my erection like a pillow of softness that left me almost too horny to wait until she came. Then my hands found her breasts, oddly they felt smaller than I had originally expected, but it didn’t matter because they were like silk beneath my fingertips. Her nipples were hard and swollen against my palms. Feeling her body respond to my touch, made me wonder if I might actually orgasm before I had a chance to make her come for me.
I forced my mind and body to slow it all down. No matter how much I needed the release, I couldn’t break my cardinal rule. First her, then me, then her again if she wanted it, but always her first. It was the only way to treat a lady.
Desperate to pleasure her, I slipped my hand lower, pushing the waistband of her panties down until I reached the space between her legs. Her fine hair was silken against my fingertips, she shuddered in response. I urged her legs apart and slid a finger into the delicious moistness of her femaleness. She startled at my touch then a moan escaped her lips. I pushed another finger inside her warmth, gliding gently in and out, until she began to move her hips in rhythm with my strokes. I slid a third finger in and quickened the pace, her pelvis smashed against my hand as I thumbed the nub of flesh that left all the women I had been with begging for more. With every thrust of my fingers she grew slicker and more responsive.
“Yes, oh my god yes,” she said in a breathy whisper.
The sound of her voice made me stop for a moment, because it was familiar, like a recently lost memory.
“Please don’t stop,” she said, riding
my curved fingers with a force that said she was almost there. The hot desire in her voice was all I needed. I went even deeper, to the spot that I knew would take her over the edge. Then she clenched rhythmically around my fingers as she panted and moaned. The sound of her voice, raw with ecstasy made me almost come right then. Only my years of experience with holding back kept me from joining her. She rode and moved against me until the feeling crested and finally fell away. When she was done, I pulled out of her then rolled her over, so she was flat on her back facing me.
Her breathing came in stilted gasps. She smelled of minty toothpaste, not exactly what I had expected. I leaned in closer, covering her mouth with mine, kissing her softly, tickling the tip of her tongue. She responded by tugging my head even closer, arching her body up as she moved her mouth against my lips, leaving no doubt that she wasn’t finished with me. She latched onto my tongue, sucking hard which had the effect of making me even more excited. Her hand found the top of my waistband and she fumbled to unbutton my pants. When she had no luck I helped her, sliding my pants off without breaking our kiss. I snatched a condom from my pocket before I threw the pants aside.
Normally I would have let the girl I was with, take my boxers off, but I couldn’t wait. I needed to escape, as much as a plant needed sunlight and water to survive. I needed to orgasm long and hard, to set my world right. I broke away from her, just long enough to roll off my underwear and toss them aside. With the barrier of my clothes gone, I was long past wanting and well into had to have. With expert precision and only my right hand, since I was still clutching the condom in a fist, I undid the clasp of her bra. It found a home with the rest of the clothes a moment later. Her panties, the only material separating us from becoming one, came off even faster than the bra. With nothing left to do, I opened the condom and had it in place moments later.
My mouth found her breasts as I teased her nipples with my tongue and teeth until her breaths came out in short puffs of hot air. She tasted salty, her skin slick with sweat. I circled each nipple with my tongue, sucked on the raised flesh and flicked my tongue quickly across the tips. She arched her back, bringing her hips up to meet my body. My hand was between her legs again, spreading her wide. When I started to push inside her she seemed to tense for a moment, enough that it made me stop; it was the last thing I wanted to do. I shoved a finger, then two inside her, pumping slowly in and out until she was relaxed again, and riding me with renewed enthusiasm.
When she was moving with the vigor of someone who was ready for a second round, I slipped my fingers out and slid the length of me into her warmth. If she tensed this time I didn’t feel it. I was too lost in the rhythm that my body had automatically slipped into. She was so delectably tight around me. I gripped her ass, driving deeper until our pelvises were mashed together. With a hand supporting the small of her back and one on her hip I thrust into her over and again, each move bringing me closer to the release that clawed to get out. She seized my hips, forcing me with her hands to go faster and deeper. Then I tipped over the edge, one more push and everything exploded around me, my body seized as if my muscles had forgotten how to move, just my hips continued moving as I came with a force that was uncommonly powerful. Soon after, each pump became a little less intense than the last one, until I was spent. Absolute bliss washed over me and for a moment I was completely satisfied.
Exhaustion, that always came after I’d had a good lay, crested over me. I rolled off the condom, knotting the end, then dropped it to the floor beside me. I was too tired to attempt to get to the bathroom and would have to do the disposal after I’d had a few hours of sleep.
I drew her closer to me until her head rested on my chest, her satiny hair felt so soft against my flesh. As I drifted into slumber I thought for a second that I didn’t remember her name, then velvety black took me away.
18. LEXIE
I hadn’t really been thinking about what I was doing when I had tucked Ransom into my bed, because from the way he was snoring there was no chance he was leaving anytime soon. The truth was, no matter what I had gotten myself into I needed sleep, which meant I either bunked with him or I flaked out in a chair. I decided to take the former, something that an un-inebriated me would never have done. I stripped off my clothes until I was just in my cotton underwear and bra.
Too exhausted to bother to wash off my makeup, I brushed my teeth, promising to scrub my face extra well in the morning. Mom had always said that you could never ignore your pores. And just like that all the thoughts that I had pushed to the recesses of my mind converged in a steady stream, tears followed shortly after.
When I was sure I didn’t have any moisture left in my body, I stumbled out of the bathroom.
My throat ached and my eyes felt so puffy, that I was sure they looked like a guy named Kevin Smatt’s eyes had looked, after he’d had an encounter with a beehive in grade 2. Kevin hadn’t planned on playing kick the can, or in his case kick the hive, but that was how it had played out. Even as he had raced screaming back to the school, the bees had managed to get in quite a few stings. They had even stung his eyelids, so by the time he got back inside, his eyes were swollen shut with just dark slits where his brown eyes should have been. It felt weird to remember him now after all these years, but it seemed the evening had been about resurrecting skeletons from the past, whether I liked it or not.
I had turned all the lights out before I had gone into the bathroom, so the hotel room was pitch black. Worried that I might unintentionally run into a wall or something else, I threw my hands up in front of me, searching for where the bed was. A short while later my shin hit the wooden box spring. I cried out in pain. I was sure that I had skinned my leg, but I was too exhausted to care. I heard Ransom stir then turn over, then he went silent. It still felt exceptionally crazy to have him in the bed, but I guessed that was what it felt like to have a one night stand, though in those cases sex was involved. I didn’t like that once again my mind had drifted to sex. Clearly there was something about Ransom that made the usually ignored subject come front and center.
Having found the bed the hard way, I slipped into the space at Ransom’s side. I tugged at the bedspread that he was sprawled out on, barely able to get a corner to cover myself with. As soon as I was flat I got the dreaded bed spins. The last thing I wanted to do was vomit again, so I threw a leg over the side of the bed, positioning my foot on the floor. Trinity had shown me the trick a long time back when we had drank too many Peach Schnapps shooters. It had worked then, so I hoped it would work now too.
It eased the twirling enough that I could begin to relax and settle into sleep. Yet before oblivion took me, a movie of the alley and what had almost happened played through my mind. All I could think was that it had been too close. I was more than aware that I was getting more reckless by the day, the scene in the alleyway had proved it. Even slipping into bed with Ransom in just my underwear was way out there, but somehow I didn’t care.
In fact lately it seemed all that I really focused on was getting the right person to solve the one problem that was quite possibly unsolvable. I was certain that if I continued on the same path, I would eventually pay for my mistakes. For now though, I was grateful that Ransom had been there to catch me before I fell too far. A shiver ran through me and I instinctively reached for Ransom, touching his arm for barely a second, as if he was a touchstone that confirmed that I was safe. Though I had struggled with the idea about whether I had done the right thing asking him to stay with me, now I was glad that I had done it. In the quiet of the night with memories too real to forget, his presence felt like the only thing that kept me tethered to sanity.
I squeezed my eyes shut, actually counting sheep for a little while, like my Grampa had told me to do a long while back. When I had been a small child and couldn’t sleep, he had shown me how to count sheep, saying that it was less about the sheep and more about keeping your mind free of all the thoughts that would keep you awake. Back then I had been scared about the monster
s under the bed, now it was more grown-up fears, and the feeling that I no longer knew when enough was enough. But even after what had happened in the alleyway, I wasn’t sure if I was done searching.
Eventually my body gave out and I fell into a deep sleep.
At first I thought I was in the middle of a kinky dream, one where someone was touching me in a way that I had never been touched before. It felt more than good, it felt scintillating and naughty. But when I came around and realized that it was no dream, and that Ransom was doing things with his fingers that should have been illegal, I was both puzzled, but also very much enjoying what he was doing.
I still wasn’t sure when it had started or even why, but all those questions lay inert in my brain as something more animalistic took over. I didn’t want my hips to work against his hand, as he plunged deeper and more urgently inside me. The prude in me said what I was doing was all wrong, that you weren’t supposed to let strangers do things like he was doing to my body. The deprived and lonely woman told me to shut up and enjoy it.
Slut flashed in neon in my mind because that’s what I was, only sleazy girls did this with guys they hardly knew. But somehow the label had none of the impact it should have had. Stacked against Ransom’s expert hands, that were making me gyrate against him like a porn star, I was helpless to stop it from happening. Which made me think that if this was what it felt like when the porn queens were doing their job then I might not have judged them as harshly as I had before.
As his fingers moved faster in and out of me, his thumb also rubbed in time over the sensitive parts of my sex. It seemed impossible to catch my breath long enough to tell him to stop. Not that I was entirely sure I wanted him to quit what he was doing, because it felt so freaking amazing.
I released a moan that sounded like something out of the back seat of a car at a drive in, and was a little shocked that it had come from me. I didn’t do this kind of thing, ever, and was surprised at how my body seemed to be on autopilot. Without my permission my pelvis bucked in response to his fingers, and I was riding him shamelessly. His scent, of sweat and the remnants of alcohol, and something that was hard to name, but if pressed I would have said all man, filled the airspace around us. It of course only served to arouse me even more than I already was. It was odd how he didn’t need even a drop of cologne to improve on what was natural.
Ransom (Holding Ransom # 1) Page 18