by Erin Grace
‘Lily. Please don’t walk so fast.”
Without regard for his evening attire, he followed the sound of a young girl chatting. But the snow had begun falling in earnest, making it difficult to see. Where in blazes were they? He walked near the dimly lit stables, just as two figures began to disappear into the dark snowy night.
Hell, if he’d let her run from him this time. His heart leapt as he headed out after the pair.
‘Lily!’
The woman stopped but didn’t turn around. But the young girl did. ‘Lily, slow down. Stop. It’s the captain.’
‘Quiet, Stephaney. Now please keep walking.’
He approached the pair, almost shaking with the need to hold Lily tight and tell her how much he missed her. She didn’t turn around.
Fog billowed from his mouth as he caught his breath. ‘Am I that horrendous to look upon?’
She shook her head. ‘You shouldn’t be here, Captain.’
‘I believe I can be wherever I choose, madam. This is my house. However, I detest talking to backs. Won’t you please turn around?’
Slowly, she turned to face him. His heart crushed under the sight of her gaunt face and eyes, swollen and red, which had lost their spark.
‘As you wish, sir. Now, may we please go?’
‘No. You may bloody-well not. What in hell have they done to you? Was this your aunt? Lady Stanton? By God, I if they have hurt you…’
‘It is all of my own doing.’ She placed her hands over her sisters’ ears, much to the girl’s dislike. ‘After I spoke to you I stayed awake until dawn, trying to reason with myself. I thought perhaps I could be what you wanted me to be, but I couldn’t. As for my feelings, I can’t say I didn’t mean to kiss you that first time, because I surely did. And, I cannot claim to dislike the way you kissed me back, as it is something I will always treasure, Captain. But what I can no longer do is put aside my responsibilities. Your offer was meant in kindness. I see that now. But, it is time for me to think of my family and make a life for myself.’
‘With this Mr Dunstan, I presume?’
‘He…he is a good man. He will provide for me and my family. In fact, he has already promised that when we are wed, I can bring my mother and sister to come live with us on his farm.’
He reached out and clasped her arms, relishing the touch of her even through her heavy cloak. ‘For God’s sake, Lily, that is your aunt talking.’
‘I don’t like Mr Dunford, Lily. He smells awful.’ Stephaney pulled her sisters hands away from her ears and looked up at her.
Lily wiped a stray tear from her eye. ‘You weren’t supposed to be listening.’
‘I couldn’t help it. I am hardly deaf. Besides, I know you don’t want to marry him. I hear you talking to yourself late at night when you think I am asleep.’ The young girl turned to face him and grinned. ‘He’s the one you really want.’
Lily raised a hand to her forehead. ‘Stephaney, please.’
‘And it’s obvious he likes you too or else he wouldn’t be here.’
Gabriel smiled. ‘I think for such a young girl, your sister has a very mature mind.’
Stephaney beamed. ‘Thank you. That’s exactly what his lordship says.’
‘So, I am led to believe.’ He frowned at the way Lily shivered in the night air. ‘Ladies. It is cold out here. I think it best if we continue this interesting discussion inside. Don’t you agree, Miss Stephaney? In fact, I’m certain if we ask very nicely, Mrs Peel might make you some of her delicious hot chocolate.’
Lily’s defiant glare could have melted the snow around them. But he didn’t care. They would settle this blasted matter tonight. And he’d be damned before he let another man take her away from him.
Lily crossed her arms and began following her sister who’d eagerly dashed back toward the kitchen door. ‘We have nothing to discuss, Captain. I believe I have made myself clear. Why can’t you just accept that?’
He met her heated gaze and smiled with grim determination. ‘We shall discuss this, but inside, where it is warm.’
He opened the door and allowed the two women to pass.
‘Mrs Peel!’ Stephaney dashed over to the cook and gave her a tender hug. ‘I’m back.’
The old cook blushed, looking more than a little flustered. ‘Back? I didn’t know you were here.’ He raised an eyebrow at her remark. Not know? ‘But now that you are here, why don’t you just sit yourself down there at the table, and I’ll have some nice milk warmed up for you.’
Almost like magic, the old cook produced a huge variety of cookies, cakes and treats and placed them before the young girl.
Mrs Peel paused and looked up. ‘Would you and Miss Lily like anything, sir?’
Lily glared at him. ‘Yes. I would like to go home.’
He took Lily’s arm and began leading her from the kitchen. ‘No, thank you, Mrs Peel. We will be fine.’
He near dragged her out into the hallway. ‘We will talk, madam.’
‘You have no right to command…wait…no!’
He bent over, grasped her by the waist then slung her over his shoulder like a sack of wheat - albeit a warm sack of wheat that kicked and fussed like the chicken she’d once tried to capture.
‘For heaven’s sake. Put me down at once!’
‘No.’
‘Oh, you arrogant wretch! Someone might see.’
‘You do have a point.’ And with that he made for the servants’ stairs. ‘Stop wriggling or I might drop you.’ He wasn’t pretending. He climbed the stairs, his thigh shaking under the strain. Hell, and damnation. ‘Argh. You will not marry this Mr Dunford.’
She poked him in the back. ‘It’s not your place to decide, Captain.’
‘Damn it, Lily. It is my place. I will not let another man have you.’
He reached the top of the stairs, unwilling to stop and catch his breath in case his leg buckled beneath him. Reaching his bedroom, he pushed the doors open, stalked to the bed and gently tossed the little baggage upon the covers.
‘Ooh!’ She hurled a pillow at his back as he closed the doors. ‘I will not stand for this!’
After securing the locks, he turned and rested his back against the door, as the pain in his leg slowly ebbed away to a dull ache. ‘I’m not asking you to stand, so sit!’
Her mouth opened as if to say something, but she seemed fixated, her gaze trained upon his leg. Blast. He’d never liked to speak of his wound, but there seemed little point hiding the obvious from her.
‘My thigh was run through during my last battle in India.’ He pushed away from the door and struggled not to limp as he approached the bed. Damn, he hated not walking like he used to.
She moved away from the side of the bed, allowing him enough room to sit beside her. ‘It pains you, doesn’t it?’
He forced a wry smile to try and dispel the look of sorrow on her face. He didn’t want pity, especially hers. Bad enough feeling like less of a man when he couldn’t ride properly, run or even walk without limping. ‘It’s nothing.’
‘I didn’t realize. Is there a large scar?’
He sighed and nodded. ‘Yes. Does that bother you?’
‘No. Why would it?’ Her answer was a mere whisper.
‘Then you are stronger than most. Many women would swoon at such a terrible sight.’
‘I never swoon. I should think you knew that by now.’ She crept to his side, a look of uncertainty washed over her face. ‘May I see it?’
Good God. The woman was incredible.
‘You wish to see the scar?’ She nodded then sat back down.
He thought about how she may react. Would she think him a monster? ‘As you wish.’ He began unfastening his breeches, unsure if she really knew what she was asking of him.
She watched him intently. ‘And then you may also explain just why you have defied my every wish by bringing me here.’
He stifled a groan as he removed his pants down to his knees, revealing a jagged red scar down one thigh.
>
She stared at it for what felt like forever then looked at him. ‘It was a miracle you survived. I can’t bear to think how it must have pained you.’
‘No more than I have obviously pained you, madam.’ He covered his leg with part of a blanket. ‘I was a fool to leave you that letter, hoping that somehow I could convey my feelings accurately. My actions were as ineffective as they were foolish. And for that I am sorry.’ He reached out slowly and held her hand. He swallowed in relief when she didn’t pull away. ‘Please understand, I can offer you nothing more than I promised. My reality is that I shall never marry. In truth, I have no desire to carry on a line which has become nothing more than a hypocritical farce to everything it once held true. I’m quite certain I’d make an abominable husband and would never wish to subject a poor wife to a lifetime of misery.’
He let go her hand then raised his fingers to her cheek and gently stroked along it. Heartbeat racing, he could barely keep his hand still as he touched her soft skin. ‘But I do care for you, deeply so. Perhaps even more than I dare admit. And, I never want you to be anyone but who you are. You’re all I could ever hope for. Come with me to London, Lily. Or anywhere else you choose to go. You once said to me that I didn’t know what I really needed, but I do. I need to take care of you. I need to hold you, my haven from the world outside. I need to see your smile, as it lights up my very existence. I need to feel your warmth, your breath, your body against mine. I know you deserve so much more than I can give, but I’m asking you regardless. Indeed, I am humbling myself before you.’
Her eyes glistened with emerald fire. ‘Gabriel, I…’
He gazed longingly at her mouth, placed a finger upon her lips then traced over them lightly. ‘Please, at least think about this before you answer.’
Her eyes pleaded with him not to want her, but how could he not? He cupped her trembling chin, leaned in then kissed her.
Chapter 22
Incredible heat rushed from her toes to her head as his gentle kiss deepened into something much more. She hadn’t planned for this to happen – any of it. But, there was something telling in the way he touched her this time. Not simply desire, but passion, pain and need all tumbling into a chaos of emotion that threatened to engulf her within its sheer force.
Her lips parted on a gasp, and his tongue swept inside. Good heavens. Her mind was swimming and she began to find herself floating away on a current of pleasure she’d merely tasted before. Now she craved more.
He released her mouth, only to wrap his arm around her middle and pull her across his lap. Trying to catch her breath, her hands braced against his chest then quickly melted into the delicious heat radiating from his skin. She reached up along his neck, her fingers entangling themselves within his dark hair.
Gazing into Gabriel’s eyes, she saw everything she knew he was and everything he could be. And her heart hoped that somewhere within those deep blue depths, love lingered, and that one day she would claim it for her own.
She moistened her lips, leaned in and gently brushed her lips across his.
A deep growl resonated from his throat and she found herself tumbling to the covers. He was above her, his tousled hair framing his handsome face.
He smiled, slow and seductive, sending shivers of anticipation rippling along her skin. ‘You are so beautiful, Lily.’
A spark of hunger burned in his eyes and it made her body react in a way that shocked her. She began to move restlessly beneath him and she prayed silently for him to kiss her once more.
He leaned in and brushed his cheek along hers. The tickle of his fine stubble caused her to giggle. It wasn’t a girlish laugh, but a strange purring sound from somewhere in her throat. What was happening to her? Everything she did and felt was new.
She gasped as he began kissing her neck with a maddening slowness that made her body ache with a nameless need.
‘Gabriel…’ but her mind was robbed of coherent thought as his hand crept beneath her skirts, traced the curve under her thigh then he softly grasped the flesh within his hand. The air left her lungs and breathing became a challenge. ‘Heavens.’
She should make him stop now. She had made up her mind not to be with him…hadn’t she? Now was definitely not the time to second-guess everything she thought she’d wanted. And, despite the war of reason waging within her head, one thing rang true. She wanted this. She wanted him.
And regardless of what her future held, she wanted this night to keep for her very own.
She pulled back a little and met his curious gaze. Her trembling fingers traced down along his neck and fumbled with the crumpled folds of his cravat. Then, as he held perfectly still above her, she carefully undid the fastenings on his shirt and reveled in the heat from his body.
As she slid her hand inside his shirt, he reached up and held his hand over hers. ‘Lily, you have no idea how much I want you right now. But I refuse to let you give me something too precious to waste when you are still so undecided.’
She took his hand, raised it to her lips and kissed it. His eyes closed at her touch and he began breathing hard.
She rubbed her thumb along the back of his hand and smiled with a sense of longing she’d yet to understand. ‘Whatever I decide for my future, Gabriel, it will be my choice and my choice alone. But now, in this moment, I choose you.’
He pulled her hand toward him and held it tight against his heart. She could feel the steady beat beneath her fingers, like a drum calling her to him.
‘Lily.’ His eyes sparked with such intensity she felt her blood would catch fire. Lord knew her every fiber in her being was rapidly melting into a pool of simmering desire, dragging her down along with it.
But, instead of words, she leaned forward into his embrace and pulled his mouth down to hers in a move which seemed to startle and delight him.
He responded with a deep, masculine growl as he sat up and removed his shirt with a few deft movements.
A lump, about the size of a small walnut, formed in her throat. Good God. She’d seen a shirtless man before. The odd farmer in the field. Statues from Rome in the London Museum. But the man before her was nothing short of perfection as she knew it.
The soft lamp light danced upon his skin, still bronzed from spending time in the hot Indian sun. He slowly backed off the bed and removed his breeches, before throwing them onto a chair.
Her breath caught, and she found herself staring at him, despite every propriety screaming at her not to. ‘Oh dear.’ The Roman statues had been a lot more accurate than she given them credit for. Only he was more…well, more…oh dear. Heat blazed down the length of her body.
Distracted by her thoughts, the soft rustle of fabric was little warning as her petticoats were swept down her legs, tugged from her feet and unceremoniously tossed to the floor. She tried to sit up further, so she could see just where her clothes were landing, but she laid back against the bed as he crawled toward her on all fours like a lion on the prowl.
And she was his prey. The odd notion strangely excited her.
His eyes, like ice on fire, smoldered as his hand slowly pushed up her skirt, exposing her longs legs.
Stifling a groan, she winced at the sight of them. ‘I know they are not fashionable, my legs I mean.’
He grinned as his fingers trailed lightly along the entire length of her legs, causing a wave of goose bumps to erupt in their wake. ‘You have magnificent legs. They are perfect.’
She bit her lip then smiled shyly. ‘They are?’
He kissed the top of her thigh and she shuddered in delight. ‘Oh yes. And, I will be only too pleased to demonstrate later, just how perfect they are.’
Oddly relieved, she smiled and allowed herself to be taken away on the warm tide surrounding her once more. But the giddy, sensual calm was short-lived by the heat of his hand between her thighs.
Her mouth went dry and she struggled to remember how to breathe. ‘Oh.’ His fingers toyed with the fine curls of hair that covered her womanhood, cau
sing her hips to move beneath his touch, as if seeking something more. Just what, was beyond her comprehension.
He pulled away, sat up and smiled at her. ‘Happy, my sweet?’
Like a person who’d had too much champagne, she nodded and smiled back.
‘Good.’ He gently touched her nose then lips. ‘We have only just begun.’
Thrilled by the prospect of more of this delicious torment, she watched as he slowly undid the buttons down the front of her dress, pushing the fabric apart to reveal her worn corset and chemise.
With a skill that shocked and surprise her he loosened the front corset ties enough to reveal the sheer muslin cloth of her chemise and her bosoms that lay beneath. An awkward smile touched her lips. ‘I should make you my lady’s maid.’
He growled playfully and began nipping along her bared shoulder. ‘Gladly, madam. If it means I get to undress you every night.’
He leaned in and kissed her nipple through the fine fabric, causing her to buck with her hips. Spurred on by her response, he dragged the fabric down until her bosom was free, then took her nipple within his mouth, nipping it gently between his teeth.
She fought to breathe, her mouth parched.
‘God, but you are sweet. You have no idea how you affect me, Lily. Your every touch scorches me with your fire, your passion. And together, we will go up in flames, I promise you.’
His hand reached her womanhood once more, only to delve beyond the matt of auburn curls to the sensitive folds beyond. Oh my. The air rushed from her lungs as he stroked her intimate heat before he pushed deep within her. She gasped at an unfamiliar sensation, unsure of just what she was feeling.
Whatever it was, she wanted him. Her body told her so as it began moving against the pressure of his hand, the burning hot sensation within her building to a peak beyond her sight.
‘Gabriel!’ Release was upon her, shimmering through her body like the first fall of snow. Delicate, beautiful and fleeting.
Panting softly, she clung to him, not knowing where to look or what to do her greatest fear that she somehow shamed herself before him. After all, she’d never been with a man before. Was this how making love was supposed to be?