Crash Into Me

by K. M. Scott

  "Hello? Is this Tristan Stone?" a man's voice asked.

  "Yes. Who is this?"

  "Sir, my name is Jacob Nestle. I'm from the New York State Police. A car registered to your name was in an accident tonight. A BMW, sir."

  I jammed my foot on the brake, and the Jag skidded to a dead stop. My hands were shaking too much to hold onto the steering wheel. My mind went blank with terror and I mumbled, "The woman driving the car...what happened?"

  I couldn't bring myself to ask how she was, dreading the words he might say.

  "Sir, she's been taken to Roseland Memorial Hospital with severe injuries."

  The man continued to say something, but I didn't hear him. Every part of my brain shut off, except for the part that screamed for me to get to that hospital. I had to see her.

  I stood in the doorway to Nina's hospital room where I'd remained for hours watching each labored breath she took. Someone touched my arm and I looked down to see Jordan standing there next to me.

  "Tristan, thank you for sending your car to get me. What happened?"

  "It was a car accident. That's all the police know so far. She rolled the car."

  Her gaze moved over to Nina and I felt her hand squeeze my arm as the first sight of her injuries settled into her brain. Both arms were bandaged because of cuts and scrapes, tubes and wires seemed to be attached to everywhere on her body, and her head was bloody from where she'd slammed into the windshield. Even worse were the cuts and bruises on her face. She looked like someone had beaten the hell out of her.

  But it was the internal injuries—the ones we couldn't see—that were worse. A bruised spleen and kidney. Three broken ribs. And a head injury they couldn't say how bad yet.

  Jordan covered her mouth and made a noise that sounded like she was going to cry or be sick. I knew that noise because I'd heard myself make it hours earlier when I'd first entered Nina's room. And even now, I felt sick at the thought that she was lying there hurt and unconscious.

  "Is she going to be okay?"

  "The doctor told me she'll recover, but they don't know how long she'll be in the coma. She's hurt badly," I answered robotically, as I'd done on the phone with Nina's sister.

  As she stood there looking at her friend, Jordan began to cry. "What was she doing in the car alone? You never let her go anywhere alone, Tristan. Why wasn't your driver there?"

  I didn't know how to answer her questions. I'd spent hours beating myself up over the very same ones. Why didn't I stop her before she left? If I had, she wouldn't be lying there in a hospital bed hooked up to machines to keep her alive.

  "I'm going to get some coffee. I want to make sure someone's here with her all the time, so I can get you some, if you like. I'll only be a few minutes."

  Jordan grabbed my arm as I turned to leave. "Honey, are you going to be okay? You sound exhausted. Get some sleep. You look like you need it."

  Shaking my head, I said quietly, "No. I can't sleep. It's better that I stay up. I want to be up when she comes out of it."

  "Okay. Take your time and get some coffee." She smiled at me and added, "Don't worry. She's going to be okay. Nina's tough."

  I tried to smile but my mouth couldn't do anything but stay in the frown it had been in since hearing the officer say she'd been hurt. My body felt numb as I went in search of a coffee machine or a cafeteria. My brain wasn't much better. Nothing mattered but Nina recovering, but I couldn't do anything to make that happen. No amount of money, nothing I could say would help her.

  By the time I returned, her sister had arrived. Shorter than Nina, she looked like an older version of her. Looking at me strangely, she had no idea who I was as I took my position in the doorway.

  "Kim, this is Tristan. He's Nina's boyfriend. Fiancé, I mean," Jordan said as she introduced us. "He's been here since right after it happened."

  I stuck out my hand to shake Kim's and mumbled my hello. I didn't want to talk or socialize. I wasn't good with this kind of thing, and talking was only going to lead to having to explain to her why I wasn't with her sister when the accident occurred.

  Kim studied me like I was something foreign she'd never encountered before. "It's nice to meet you. Nina told me just yesterday," she said flatly, but I clearly heard disapproval in her voice.

  The two women talked about something I didn't care about. I didn't want to hear about the last time Nina visited her sister or how Kim had been planning to drive out to Brooklyn over the summer but never got the chance. I just wanted to be left alone with Nina, to hold her hand and hope she heard me when I told her how sorry I was and how I would make it all up to her.

  Jordan seemed to read my mind and led Kim out into the hallway. I slowly crept over to the hospital bed and reached out to touch Nina's brown hair that laid against the stark white pillow. She didn't move when I ran my knuckle softly over her jaw.

  I took her hand in mine. It seemed so small as my fingers surrounded her entire hand. "Nina, I'm so sorry, baby. If you can hear me, I love you. Don't leave me."

  All I wanted was to see those soft blue eyes look up at me and to hear her say she loved me. But she didn't move.

  Bringing her hand to my lips, I whispered, "Don't make me go on without you, baby. Open your eyes and tell me you still love me."

  Nina laid in that hospital bed unconscious as I watched nurses do their best to keep her comfortable. The doctors visited every day and seemed to feel the need to constantly explain how it was normal for patients with head injuries to stay unconscious and how her body simply needed time to heal. I didn't want to hear any of their explanations. All I wanted to hear was that she'd be okay and awake so I could tell her I loved her.

  Jordan came every afternoon after school and sat next to Nina holding her hand and telling her silly stories about their time in college. Kim left after the first day, but I knew Jordan made sure to call her with updates every day.

  After eight days, her face showed what I knew she was thinking. I was thinking it too. What if the doctors were wrong? What if she never came out of it?

  Exhausted, but afraid if I left Nina might wake up and I wouldn't be there, I sat slumped in the chair next to her bed as Jordan joked with her about the first time they met in college. My eyes slowly fell closed as the sound of her voice faded away.

  "Nina? Honey, you're awake!"

  My eyes flew open and I saw Jordan leaning over Nina. She was awake! I leaped from the uncomfortable chair I'd spent so many hours in and stood behind her. The sweet eyes I loved were open and she was speaking.

  "Jordan, what happened?" she whispered.

  "There was an accident, honey. But you're going to be okay now." Jordan began crying. "Oh, honey! We were so worried."

  "Where's my dad? You called him, right?"

  Jordan turned to face me and shook her head before she turned back. "Nina, what do you mean? Your father..."

  I moved around her and touched Nina's hand. "Baby, I'm so happy you're back."

  Nina stared up at me with a vacant look and then looked at Jordan. "Where's my father?"

  Nurses swarmed around her to check her vital signs and I walked out to wait for the doctor. Jordan joined me a few minutes later and neither of us said a word. We didn't have to. We both knew something was very wrong.

  By the time the doctor pulled me aside an hour later to explain what Nina was experiencing, I knew. All he did was confirm it.

  "I've examined her and it's good news. She doesn't remember some things, but she's going to be fine. All her injuries are healing well, and I think she just needs some time, Mr. Stone."

  I looked past him and saw her smiling and laughing with Jordan. "She seems to remember her friend, but she thinks her father is still alive. He's been dead for four years," I explained to the doctor, hoping he could help me understand what was happening with Nina.

  "As far as I can tell, she doesn't remember anything after right before his death. She remembers her friend because she knew her before that."

  The d
octor saved me from having to hear the painful words telling me she didn't remember me. After everything we'd been through, she didn't even know who I was.

  "I think if you give her time, she'll remember everything. Just give her some time."

  He walked away leaving me standing in the doorway staring at the woman I loved who saw me only as a complete stranger. I pulled the engagement ring I'd given her out of my pocket and slid it over the tip of my pinky. Would she ever remember what we were so it would mean as much to her as it did to me?

  Jordan tapped me on the arm, bringing me out of a daydream about the night at Tony's when I'd asked Nina to marry me. "Tristan, you should talk to her. Tell her about yourself. I know it's hard, but she needs to know who you are."

  "I don't know, Jordan. It might be too much for her. I don't know what to say about her father and I won't lie to her now."

  "She knows already. When Kim called, she told her. She doesn't remember what happened to him, but she knows he died. Go talk to her. Don't give up on her."

  With a gentle squeeze, Jordan prodded me toward the bed. Nina looked up at me and smiled, like she had so many times before, but I saw in her eyes she was just trying to make me feel welcome.

  She didn't know me.

  "How are feeling?" The question was lame, but it's what a stranger would ask.

  "Jordan says that you and I are engaged."

  Nodding, I smiled and pulled the ring out of my pocket. "I just proposed a few nights ago."

  "Can I see it?" she asked as she held out her hand. "It looks like a beautiful ring."

  I placed it in the center of her palm and smiled as she took it from me. "You liked it when I gave it to you."

  She studied it for a minute and then looked me up and down. "I bet you proposed at some fancy restaurant or the opera. Not that I know if I like opera, but you look like the type of man who does."

  I looked down at my clothes and couldn't help but smile. Dressed in my suit pants and dress shirt, I'd thought I looked casual without my tie and coat. Leave it to Nina to let me know just how wrong I was.

  Lifting my head, I said, "Actually, it was a pizza place called Tony's that we like. I got down on one knee, though."

  A sweet smile lit up her face. "I like pizza. That's good to know."

  "And roast beef, turkey with stuffing, shrimp scampi, and sausage and peppers."

  She was silent for a long time and then finally said, "I'm sorry I don't remember you, Tristan. You seem like a great guy."

  I wanted to take her in my arms and never let her go. To do everything we'd done together all over again just on the chance that she'd remember how much we loved each other.

  But I couldn't. I wasn't the man she loved. I was just some guy who remembered.

  "Can I ask you something, Tristan?"

  "Anything and I promise to give a straight answer."

  A confused expression crossed her face for a brief moment and then she smiled. "Why don't I remember you?"

  I sadly shook my head, her question ripping my heart in two. "I don't know."

  Was it because of what I'd told her just before the accident? Had she forgotten everything about us because somewhere deep inside her mind she couldn't forgive me for her father's death?

  After two and a half weeks, her doctor pulled me aside as Jordan and Kim visited with an almost healed Nina. Guiding me to a secluded room near Nina's room, he closed the door behind us and I took a seat across from him.

  "I want you to know that the good news is that her physical injuries are healing well. She'll be able to go home tomorrow. Her memory loss is disconcerting, however. I had expected her to remember something of her life from the past four years, but I see no signs of that, as of yet."

  Listening to him speak, I knew what he was about to say and instantly, my chest tightened.

  "Mr. Stone, I just can't say she'll ever remember everything. The human mind is a difficult thing to predict. All I can say is that if you continue to show her what her life was like, she very well may come around."

  Extending my hand to shake his, I pressed a smile onto my face. "I understand. Thank you for everything."

  I returned to find Jordan and Kim standing outside Nina's room as the nurses did their jobs inside. The time had come to let them know my plans for Nina after she left here.

  "Ladies, I'd like to speak to you privately for a moment."

  Escorting them to the room where I'd just met with Nina's doctor, I stood as they both took their seats. Jordan looked up at me with wide eyes, as if what I had to say interested her, but Kim wore the same suspicious look she always gave me.

  "The doctor just told me Nina will be able to go home tomorrow. I've made arrangements for her to come home with me to our home. You, of course, are welcome to come too and stay for as long as you'd like. I have more than enough room."

  "With you? Why would she go home with you?" Kim asked sharply. "She should go home with Jordan."

  "She's coming home with me because that's where she belongs. As I said, you're welcome to come stay as long as you like."

  "She doesn't even remember you."

  Jordan looked over at Kim and then back at me. "I think Kim might be worried that Nina would feel like a stranger in your house." Turning back toward Kim, she continued, "But I've been there and Nina was very happy there, Kim. She and Tristan were...are in love, and he can help her remember their time together."

  I looked down at Nina's sister. "I can certainly understand your concern, Kim, but she belongs in her own home. With me."

  Kim stood and folded her arms across her chest. "You keep saying belongs, like she's something you own. I'm not some small town rube like my sister. She may think you're something special, but I don't think so. She's not going to stay with some strange man. Not if I have anything to say about it."

  "Well, you don't," I said as I crossed my arms.

  "I'm not just some fool you can boss around. My husband is a lawyer. You don't think I'll just let you take her without having something to say about it, do you?" Kim asked, her eyes blazing her anger.

  Stepping toward her, I smiled. "And I have a battalion of lawyers, all paid to be at my beck and call to do my bidding. You can try to fight me on this, Kim, but you'll lose. Nina is coming home with me. There's no more discussion on that."

  "Really? Well, how do you plan to handle Nina's depression, which is sure to rear its ugly head any minute now?"

  I knew my face showed that I had no idea what Kim was talking about. Thankfully, Jordan interrupted. "Kim, you don't know that. Nina's been really good for a long time. She might not get down this time."

  Kim spun around to glare at Jordan. "Get down? Is that what we're calling it now? The last time she 'got down' she spent months crying holed up in her room. And I think when someone threatens to kill themselves, Jordan, it's a little more than feeling down."

  Jordan quickly looked at me for my reaction and then back at Kim. "That's not fair and you know it. Cal broke her heart. And saying you want to kill yourself is different than actually trying to. She never tried to."

  "Fine. If I have no say in this, then I have no reason to be here anymore."

  Kim stormed out of the room, leaving me with Jordan, whose face had settled into a frown. Standing, she began to explain what Kim might be feeling.

  "I don't care. I've heard how she talks to Nina. The woman is lying in a hospital bed, and her sister is chastising her for getting into a car accident."

  Jordan nodded. "I know. She's always been tough on Nina, especially since their father's death. And that thing she said about Nina wanting to kill herself wasn't true, Tristan. Nina was just really sad one time and said a few things she didn't mean."

  Shaking my head, I said, "You don't have to worry about me not caring about Nina because of that. I understand."

  I didn't care that she'd felt depressed and said things about killing herself. The only part that bothered me about that whole thing was that she probably remembered th
at fucking Cal who'd broken her heart but didn't remember me.

  Jordan looked up at me, her green eyes intently staring into mine. "I need to know you're doing this because you care about her. I need to know this isn't some kind of power thing or I swear, Tristan, I might not have all the money to pay lawyers, but I'll make sure she comes home with me. Tell me you're doing this because you love her."

  "Have I ever given you a reason to doubt that I'm crazy about her? Have I ever not shown in everything I do that her happiness is the only thing I think of?"

  "No, but she's doubted your feelings, so I needed to ask."

  I couldn't hide the surprise I felt at Jordan's words. Nina had truly doubted that I cared for her?

  "Didn't know she doubted you, did you? Well, she did a few times."

  Leaning back against the wall, I shook my head. "Why?"

  "Because you're everything she could ever want. It all seemed to good to be true. I don't know what happened the night she got into the accident, but I wouldn't be surprised if you told me you had a fight about her not feeling that she was worthy of being with someone like you."

  Quietly, I answered, "No, it wasn't that. But every time she ever said anything like that to me, I told her how wrong she was. I don't care about the money or anything else. I care about her and want her to see that we were in love. Still are, as far as I'm concerned."

  Touching my arm, Jordan smiled. "Okay. You've convinced me. Now all you have to do is wait for her to figure it out. She will. As I always tell her, good things happen to good people, and I'm including you in our group of good people who deserve those things."

  I wasn't sure I deserved to be in Jordan's Good People group, but from that point on, I planned on doing whatever was necessary to be worthy of Nina and all the good things that came with her.

  Nina was sitting up in a chair next to her bed when I finally got back to her room. Kim had likely given her opinion on her coming home with me, but the smile Nina gave me as I entered her room didn't indicate she was upset.

  I sat down beside her and thought about what to say. Unsure anything would sound right, I just said what I had to and hoped it came out the way I meant it. "Nina, you're going to be released tomorrow. I'm going to take you home."